An Ode to My Breast Pump

 I hear a lot of people say they hate their breast pump. Well, it’s true… we all hate it at least a little bit. Working moms (of which I have been one) often feel like they’re dairy cows, hooked up so often to a feelings-less milk-collector. But now that I’m home with my babes, the breast pump and I have a different relationship, and therefore I will now declare my love for my mean, milk-collecting machine.

Oh, breast pump, how I’ve missed you!
I truly, truly have.
Though if I said that to them,
Some other folks would laugh.
They’d say, “No way! We hate that thing!”
But me? I know the truth.
You have a few perks on your side,
A thing or maybe two.
First of all, I find myself
Engorged beyond belief.
The pain I feel is all too real;
My breasts have just been beat.
So finally I hook you up.
And oh, the sweet release!
For you can do what baby can’t,
And empty me complete.
The second thing I love about you
Is quite a selfish thing.
I cannot use you when I’m surrounded
By my family.
So retreat I will into my room,
For quiet and for peace.
You are the perfect reason to be
By myself a piece.
So there they are, the reasons why
I think you’re not so bad.
I’ll love you still – I always will.
You make my boobies glad.

6 thoughts on “An Ode to My Breast Pump”

  1. Any good ideas/recipes to maintain a good milk supply?? Actually, any advice would help, I gave up quickly the first go around and really want it to work this time.

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  2. I felt the same way, I didn’t mind pumping. Actually it made me feel good about myself versus nursing that hurt like the dickens and left me in tears.

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  3. I wish I could have some love for my breast pump. I was not a great pump-er, so I’d pump and pump and pump and pump and finally get enough to be able to leave the baby with my husband or my parents, and then I’d come home and find that C refused a bottle, refused a sippy, refused every way to get milk into a baby that wasn’t directly from the source, and would end up watching the precious liquid run down the drain after hours of failed attempts. I can’t wait to just pack up that pump!

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