J: You know what was on the tv?
J: A fairy ghost car!
Hubby: We’re going to Jimmy John’s for lunch!
EK: Where does he live?
J: Is that his name?
J: Mama, you know what I’m gonna do with my lunch?
J: I’m gonna eat it all!
J, getting in my bed at the crack: There’s no room for me!
Sorry kid, it’s actually my bed.
Bedtime stalling techniques…
J: Is there a baby in your tummy?
Me: Nope, just the food I ate.
J: So squishy!
Me: Well thanks.
J: Can I see how soft your eyebrows are?
Me: I guess so.
J: So soft! And your earrings are so pretty! Tomorrow when the sun comes up I can play with them?
Me: Uh, yeah, good night.
EK, above: Mom! I can feel my forehead!
Me: Are you going to take one more big bite?
Ek: I’m gonna take the biggest bite! Biggest than Jesus!
Me: How’d you get so big?
EK: Because we went to lunch together!
J, when he woke from a long nap: You know why I’m cold? Cause it’s windy outside.
J: Your earrings are bally, I guess.
J: Your earrings are bally.
Me: What do you mean?
J, flicks one earring: They’re balls. And silver. Can I wear one?
Me: Oh. And, uh, maybe tomorrow. (And then I run away laugh-crying.)
Eating a salad…
J: A cucumber fell into my mouth!
EK: Look, a green bracelet! (Green pepper ring)
J: And a purple necklace! (Purple onion ring)
Telling me about the babysitter…
J: She was nice. I liked her. I was not rude to she. I was only nice to she. So she was not rude.
Me: Well I guess that’s good!
EK: Daddy, I’m sorry J pooped on your bed while he was naked.
(Rest assured- that didn’t actually happen.)
J: Do you know what I’m gonna be on Halloween?
EK: No noggin!
J: Don’t say no noggin!
Me: What are you gonna be, babe?
J: No noggin!!!!!
(If you’ve not watched Curious George’s Boo Fest, that’s what it’s from. It’s on Netflix!)
EK: You know the the boys could be when they grow up? J could be a daddy and D could be a grandfather!
J: I actually want to be a pirate daddy. You could be a pirate mommy!
EK: I don’t WANT to be a pirate mommy!
Me: Seems legit.
What silly things are you kids saying these days?