Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! Hope you enjoy these short and sweet funnies! img_0865

D: *scream-singing his bedtime songs*
Me: You’re being too crazy.
D: No, I’m being funny.

Me: Are you excited about your second day of school?
J: Yes, are you excited about my second day of school?
Me: I mean, yes but I’ll also. Miss you.
J: If only you were me, and I was still me, and you could come with me!

J: The more we nap, the stronger our powers!

D, snuggling next to J and EK for a movie: Thank you God for all dis family!

D, waking up in the morning: Mama, where’s Scottie? (She’s our babysitter, whom we haven’t seen in a couple of weeks, but he must have dreamed about her.)

J, seeing this:

What are all these signs with people sitting on toilets?!

EK: I’m still hungry!
Hubby: Why are you so hungry? You ate more than your brothers.
EK: I just went poop and went pee?

What are your kids saying these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, friends! Here are our funnies for the week! Enjoy!

J: Blow it, man! (Talking about a balloon)
D: I’m not a man.
J: Yes you are! Mans are just boys.

Me: Who wants to go to the Williams house?!
EK: Meeeee!
J: Me! I’m running with speed and joy!

Getting into the car after bringing Brussels sprouts to a pot luck…
EK: Well hey! I’m just back here eating Brussels sprouts.

(I don’t know where he heard it…)
D: I accidentally sharted out more poop!

D: EK won’t let me in!
Me: Why won’t they let you in?
D: I want to shoot them! (Holding a pretend gun)Me: Well it sounds like they don’t want to be shot.
D: I’m not shotting them, I’m shooting them!

J: I need tape.
EK: Why do you need tape?
J: To put together my memoir.

J: Let’s go to Dough Joe’s!
Me: It’s not open right now.
J: Maybe we can go to Krispy Treats.
Me: Krispy Kreme?

Learning to Savor the Littles

This piece originally appeared on Everyday Exiles under the title ‘The Years Are Short’.

If I’ve read it once, I’ve read it a thousand times: The days are long, but the years are short.

If I’ve been told once, I’ve been told a thousand times: Oh, but you’ll miss this.

I’m not here to argue with either of those things. But I will take a moment to respond.

The days are pretty frequently long, specifically when you’re not sleeping much, and you’re not able to easily get out of the house for a few hours. But recently I’ve been relishing this new season of mobile kids, flexible naps, and the youngest one almost being potty trained. The light is at the end of the tunnel for being able to just pick up and go somewhere without packing the whole house, or to eat at a semi-nice restaurant without calling a babysitter, or turn my back for a few minutes at a time. I’ve been waiting for the times I could read a book in a different room and not come back to wails and cries or colored walls. But there’s also evidence that we aren’t totally out of those woods, and likely never will be. They’re great playmates, but I still need to run interference sometimes. Yes, I am able to sneak off for a few minutes at a time, but they’re usually finding me and needing snacks within the first few pages I read.

As far as missing it, I do. Already. I’m in that strange limbo of knowing it’s over before it’s truly over, missing the little things I know will end soon, even while they’re still happening. So when my almost-three-year-old wants me to sing him eight songs, give him four kisses and three hugs at bedtime, I’m SO here for it. When my (truly very heavy) four-year-old wants me to carry him every once in a while, I pick him up and do it. When my six-year-old wants an extra bedtime song, or to help me make everyone’s breakfast – even if it’s much faster when I do it alone – I try to oblige her.

I don’t want to look back and live with a regret that I did not taken the time to soak up my little children… their summer-sweaty hair, their still-round cheeks, their improperly-pronounced words, and their affection for their mama that I’m sure as teenagers they won’t have. How much counseling would I need to live with that regret? How many times will I still ask God to never let these memories fade?

Yes – so many things are important right now in their short lives. They’re sponges, soaking up information, ideas, words, and actions. They’re learning citizenship, responsibility, faith, and love. I could spend an entire day just trying to keep up with those things in what I do. But sometimes I just want to sit and watch them, to hold their hands, to let them eat the ice cream for dinner because there are more of those toothy smiles that way.

So tomorrow morning, I’ll get up bleary-eyed and thankful, praising the Creator of these little treasures that are actually the biggest treasures I could possibly have.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday and first week of school here in NC! I’ve officially got a first grader! I’m glad you joined us for the sillies – enjoy!

D: Dad, will sing me a song?
Hubby: Mama, oooooh, didn’t mean to make you cry. If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on. Nothing really matters.
D: Dad?
Hubby: Yes?
D: It matters to me.

Hubby: Christmas is on December 25th, and three days later is the day that my first son was born.
J: That’s my birthday!
Hubby: Yep
J: …I was born on my birthday!?!?
Hubby: …yeah…

Me, celebrating: Guess who slept in their underwear and didn’t have an accident?!
EK: D?!?!
J: I think he’s ready for underwear now!
D: Yeah! I wear the underwear and J wears the diaper!

D telling me the news (while I was clothed, mind you): You don’t have a penis, mom.

Overheard from the other room…
J: Let’s go on a rampage!

J: *spits on EK’s leg*
EK: Ew! Did you see what he did?!
J: Now will you be so mad you’ll chase me around?!

J: I think when I grow up, I’m gonna marry a type of soup. Try to guess!
EK: Noodle soup!
J: How’d you guess?!

D, in a sixty-second span: I love running! *and* I love sitting.

D, holding up both hands: See?! I don’t have a hand!

Happy back to school, folks! See you next week!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks!!! Enjoy our last summertime funnies- it’s back to school next week!

Me, looking at J’s art: You are such a great artist! (To hubby) Did you see how great he did?!
J: I love it when you say that, Mom! Keep saying it! It makes me feel like the greatest artist ever!

D, seeing red spray painted lines on the grass: The grass is bleeeeeeeding!

J: I’m feeling a little drowsy in my nose.

EK has been sick, and J asked: Yeah, and remember that time I had the flute? (He meant flu, and no, he’s never had it.)

D and J were helping me cook, and D purposefully smeared food on J, who then said: Well, I guess you’ll have to eat me now.

J: That is not a playing bucket. That is a lego-holding bucket and he just keeps playing in it. Ugh.

J: Thank you, thank you, ever so thank you!

D, saying bedtime prayers: Dear God, thank you for casserole, da horses, and mud I jump in. And mama, in Jesus names, amen!

EK: I had a dream last night, and it was like a regular day except Dad was taking Oreos out of the oven and I was like, “Yummy! But they’re all melted!”

A Lifestyle of Prayer

This piece originally appeared on Everyday Exiles.

I recently got a list of questions on self-care (Buzz word!) from a counselor to journal my way through, to help gauge my “level of health” in several areas.

WOW, it was tough.

But one of the most interesting ones was “Is prayer your lifeline and lifestyle?” I had to really ponder this one. Lifestyle was an easy image to conjure; a lifestyle of prayer must be what Paul means when he says in 1 Thessalonians to “pray without ceasing”. A lifestyle of prayer to me suggests a closeness with God at all times, a reaching out as the first idea, not after a few other ideas have fallen short. But “lifeline” to me felt like a throwback to that show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” The contestant used a “lifeline” when they didn’t know the answer to one of the questions. It wasn’t the first thing they did, and it often took two or all three of their lifelines to get an answer they felt confident about keeping for their own. Using prayer as my “lifeline” seems more like a last resort or a second thought than a first reaction.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about making prayer my lifestyle, and how difficult that can prove to be when I have so many things (ie: children) vying for my attention and just plain making noise when I’m trying to have “quiet time”. (Why does it have to be quiet, anyway?) I’m reading a book called Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman with a group of friends, and she says early on in the book that we shouldn’t be deterred from our time with the Lord because we’re busy with little children or chores or anything else, but rather that we should submit all of those times to the Lord, just as we would submit our “quiet time” to Him. I literally wrote in the margin of the book “Don’t make ‘silence’ or ‘quiet time’ an idol.”

How lovely would it be if I had hours to set aside each day for worship, studying the Scriptures, prayer, and journaling?! That would be a dream, but it just isn’t possible in my life as a mom of young children who also works part time. I’m guessing it’s not possible for many, or even most, of us with our busy lives in 2018. Monks in monasteries may have time for quiet hours set aside for Jesus, but my time with Jesus usually looks a lot more like worship music while I scramble eggs, and praying over booboos and sibling skirmishes. Is that my ideal? No, not always. But will these years of tiny people needing me but unfortunately short and certainly missed? Yes. So I’ll continue to pray for sibling altercations, and for patience in the midst of sleep deprivation and unwashed hair. If you’re in the trenches, Jesus will still meet you there.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, y’all! Enjoy these funnies!!

J: I love chocolate chip cookies with all of my heart.

D: This dog bite my arm like I bite J!

EK: Scottie one time saw a spider that was bigger or as big as her HAND!
J: You’re making me think it was as big as my BUTT!

EK: When Jesus takes us to heaven, it’ll be like we’re going on a long trip to Georgia.
J: Or Disney world!

D: Mom, I got quack-quack toots!

D: I gonna keeyull you!
Me: *gasp* No, D, you can’t say that!
D, interrupting me: I gonna keeyull dis bug!

Hubby: Do you guys want Biscuitville or Chick-fil-A?
EK: I want Chick-fil-A! Those baby chicken nugget sandwiches where the biscuits are tiny and have honey!
Me: Those are yeast rolls but okay. *dies laughing*

J: When you toot, that’s when you need to poop… soon.

D, defending himself: But I don’t want to be at trouble!

There you have it – another weekly installment of sillies from my kids. What silly things do your kids say?

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