Tag Archives: hilarious

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks!!! Enjoy our last summertime funnies- it’s back to school next week!

Me, looking at J’s art: You are such a great artist! (To hubby) Did you see how great he did?!
J: I love it when you say that, Mom! Keep saying it! It makes me feel like the greatest artist ever!

D, seeing red spray painted lines on the grass: The grass is bleeeeeeeding!

J: I’m feeling a little drowsy in my nose.

EK has been sick, and J asked: Yeah, and remember that time I had the flute? (He meant flu, and no, he’s never had it.)

D and J were helping me cook, and D purposefully smeared food on J, who then said: Well, I guess you’ll have to eat me now.

J: That is not a playing bucket. That is a lego-holding bucket and he just keeps playing in it. Ugh.

J: Thank you, thank you, ever so thank you!

D, saying bedtime prayers: Dear God, thank you for casserole, da horses, and mud I jump in. And mama, in Jesus names, amen!

EK: I had a dream last night, and it was like a regular day except Dad was taking Oreos out of the oven and I was like, “Yummy! But they’re all melted!”

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! Here are some great funnies for the week – enjoy!!IMG_0026

D: I want chocolate!
Me: Maybe we can get some at the grocery store!
J: Oh, I hope it’s the vanilla ice cream kind of chocolate!

D at the park…“I gonna eat the mushroom!”

EK riding a balance bike: I’m so delighted with… me!

J, randomly: I’d love to share a beautiful day with you!

J: I’ve been creating this rainbow flower for you!

D at bedtime: But I want the other half!
Me: What? Other half of what?
D: My PBJ!
He had a half a PBJ with his dinner, and an hour and a half later, he wanted the rest.

EK’s question of the day to Hubby: Well, dad, why did you choose to be a musician?

When D doesn’t have a sheath for his sword:

EK: I’m a little man!Me: Not exactly…

What are your kids saying these days? I love to hear your funnies, too!

Things Toddlers Say

It’s Tuesday! You know what that means… more sillies from my kiddos! Enjoy!IMG_0026.JPG

J: …and he was screaming at the top of his head.
EK: It’s lungs.

EK, drinking soup from the bowl: The Chinese way!

J got up several times in one night, and when I asked in the morning why he was up so much he responded: I had some business to do.

It never fails to entertain me when J corrects EK on her pronunciation…
EK, quoting The Jungle Book: Nagheeraaaa!
J: It’s not Nagheera, it’s BAgheera!
(It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!)

One morning…
J and EK, chanting: Bref-tiss! Bref-tiss! Bref-tiss!
Me: First of all, it’s breakfast…

Singing “The Bare Neccessities”…
J: I mean the bare necessities, that’s why a mother’s recipes, I mean the bare necessities of life!
Me: I’m not even going to correct that.

J, trying to overindulge: Mom, all the cupcakes I had was just one.

Me: I don’t know where daddy is.
EK: He’s probably in his storage room according (aka recording) music on his headphones.

J, jumping off a chair: Well, easy as I go!

EK’s favorite game right now is “Would You Rather…?” Here are a few examples:
Would you rather have hair longer than Rapunzel’s or be bald like Gru?
Would you rather have banana ice cream or strawberry chocolate?
Would you rather have French fries or chocolate ice cream?
Would you rather wear stinky socks or clean ones?
Would you rather eat a phone or earrings?
Would you rather eat a shark’s tooth or your hair?
You get the idea. It starts out hilarious and then gets a little tedious.

This happening to D:

IMG_0025.jpegJ was the only one in the room (Hubby was making dinner in the next room) and his story was: He fell on a spatula!

Well, what are your kiddos saying these days? Tell me all the funnies in the comments!

Things Toddlers Say

Heyyyyyyy Tuesday! I hope you like Octonauts as much as my kids do! J told me all about a hurricane recently with pretty accurate information. When I asked where he’d learned it, he told me Octonauts. I suppose there are worse shows.

J with a knowledge bomb: Mom, every tree in the world looks like an alien’s hand.

EK: You know where the Olympics are happening?! The other side of the world!
J: You bamember (remember) when we went to the other side of the world, and we saw China, we saw China, we saw China?
EK: That’s not the whole other side of the world. There’s other cities.
(We’ve never been to China, or the other side of the world.)

EK: Spring is the best year of my life!

D had been whining all day…
Me: Are you a big grump today?
D: No… I’m a baby.

EK: I know an old lady who swallowed… a whole train at one time.
Me: Hmm. That’s not how the rhyme goes!
J: Say more of what that lady swallowed!

J: Did you know that every person in the world in Octonauts has seen a sticky lippet?
Me: Um, yeah…
J: And remember Quasi and the mud skippers?!
Me: I don’t watch Octonauts quite as much as you do…

J, to his friend Emma: Did you know there’s a creature that changes shape?! And it’s called… (pause for effect) the blob?!
E: The blob?!?! (Disbelieving face)

D: Can I watch da movies?
Me: Sure! I like movies.
D: I want to watch da Wall-(pause)-E.

EK: Perhaps spring isn’t coming this week.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy 6 days till Christmas! We’re excited at our house – how about you? Have a wonderful, restful, joyful week and enjoy our funnies!

J: Look what I made!
EK: That looks terrible.
Me: *side eye*
EK: I mean that looks great! I forgot what I was gonna say.

EK, singing: I wanna be a pretty butterfly, yeah! I wanna be another pretty butterfly!

EK: A friend in my class already has a phone! She’s six! And only in kindergarten! She even knows how to use it!

EK when I woke her up in the morning: Can I just have a few minutes to wake up? Like Dad?

J and EK drinking hot chocolate…
EK: Let’s pretend this is coffee!
J: How’s your coffee, Whit? (He’s pretending he is hubby and EK is me.)

EK being very silly and flouncing in a tutu (knee-deep in a Nutcracker obsession): Look at my girlgeous (as in “gorgeous”) butt!

D is convinced that this pink bear is a pig:

Hubby getting called out…
J: That light was red but you didn’t stop.
Hubby: Back seat drivers.

What are you funnies? I want to hear the hilarious things YOUR kids say!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! We’ve been busy bees marrying off my brother, and so I don’t have as much to report as usual. But it’s been a nice time off! Enjoy what I did write down!

Talking about Jesus coming to earth…
EK: Well he had to cross outer space from heaven.

When I woke her up one morning, EK: What is happening?!

D’s new favorite animal: falingo (flamingo)

D, pointing at every item in the house: Sing a song o’ dis! Sing a song o’ dat!

J, about my brother’s wedding: I just didn’t know that weddings were so beautiful!

EK standing at the Nantahala River: Smell that ocean breeze!

J went to bed in his clothes, straight from the car, when we got into town last night. This morning he woke up and said: Did you know that last night I went to bed in my clothes?! Not even pajamas, but just clothes! It’s gonna make my bed a dirty bed! But I do like this shirt.

What have your kids been saying recently? Any Christmas funnies?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Our kids are excited to trick-or-treat for the first time tonight! Last year, you might remember… we were all sick, and so we missed out. They can’t wait to get a bunch of candy! And I can’t wait to take a candy tax. Bottle caps are MINE. Here are the funnies for the week!

EK: We haven’t watched Mary Poppins in a while!
J: What’s that one?
EK: It’s like, “A spoon of medicine, a spoon of medicine,” like that. “Helps the honey go down…”
Me: Nailed it.

EK: I think kindergarten schools give fall breaks because they know all the kids in the building can’t see their parents as often.

EK: Did you know that when it’s dark, your eye pukes are big, and when it’s bright your eye yokes are super small?
Hubby: I think the word you’re looking for is pupil. Can you say pupil?
EK: So yeah, at night your pukers are big. And small in the morning!

D: Joooooooe! He got a lollyhop!

J: Daddy and Gon Gon’s sandals looks the same!
EK: Yeah! They look similar!
J: They don’t look similar!
EK:  Yeah, but Chinese and Japanese look similar.

J: Knock knock!
Me: Who’s there?
J: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting co…..
D: Moooooooooo!
Me: Whelp he stole your joke.

EK: Two and two is five.
Me: It’s actually four. (I hold up my fingers and show her)
EK: Well, one and one is three!
Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this while I make breakfast.

Most annoying thing of the week: EK and D dressed as pirates for the fall festival at our church last Friday. I had a pirate costume for J also, but he pitched a fit to dress as the dog he’s been a couple of years in a row (that’s getting too small). Instead of fight, I let him wear it. Now that it’s Halloween today, he’s all excited to be the pirate… but the other two are on to their other costumes. Oh well. 

Things Toddlers Say

Good morning and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a lovely Mother’s Day! We definitely had a great day – I was resting up after the race, and we visited Hubby’s mom, had dinner out with some friends, and topped it off with gelato. I call that a good day! Here are this week’s funny quotations from the kids. Enjoy!

One evening, we saw this beautiful sunset with the rays coming out…IMG_3866EK: It’s Jesus! His light is there!
J: I see his arm right there!

D comes to me, holding The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Me: It’s a book about the caterpillar!
D: Meoooowwww!
Me: Very close.

EK: Oh no! There’s a fire ant!
Me: Just flick it off the porch.
EK: But what if it STINGS me?! It’s the kind!

Talking about riding her plasma car in the yard, EK: That was. So. Darn. Fun!

EK, talking about my race: There might be bugs.
Me: Yeah, I hope they don’t bite me.
EK: You’ll be going so fast, they won’t even be able to.
Me: *glowing*

J, on Mothers Day cards: I don’t know how to make a card! It’s so hard for a baby or even a kid!

EK wanders upstairs at 11:30pm: Dad, I left my bunny outside. Can I go get it?
Hubby: I’ll make sure it gets back inside.
EK: But I’m worried that an owl will get it and feed it to its owl babies!
Hubby: But it’s a stuffed bunny. It’ll be okay.

J and D were having a tiff, and J finally hit D. EK walked away from the fight and said, “That’s on you, buddy.”

Hubby made homemade pizza…
J: This green stuff in the pizza that I don’t want to eat is mint. Can you say mint?
Me: Actually, I think it’s arugula. Can you say arugula?
J: Arugula! Great!

Me: I’m glad you guys didn’t watch any tv today. It’s good for you to do without tv sometimes.
J: Ha! Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Me: *fearing teenage years*

What have your kids said recently about each other? Do you have any funny sayings from Mother’s Day?

10 Cute Things My Toddler Does

Now that EK’s communication is skyrocketing every. single. day. there are some cute things and some hilarious things we hear coming out of her mouth. Here are a few of them!

1. “God loves me! God loves you!”
This one happened having lunch on Sunday after church (and at least once every day since then). She’s getting some good takeaway on Sundays!

2. Whenever we get in the car, she shouts, “Wanna sing ‘No Bath Today’!”
In my car, I have a cd of songs recorded by Hubby’s cousins when they were kids (The Tune Mammals – I know, right?!), including a song titled “No Bath Today”. That one is obviously her favorite.

3. She needs a “huh and kiss” any time someone leaves the house.
This is a personal favorite. If I put on my coat, or pick up my keys, she comes running, yelling for a “huh and kiss” before I leave. I die every time.

4. She feels the need to “pat the… everything”. 
Just today, I noticed that EK wanted to “pat Mommy” and “pat the baby” and “pat Annie”. I’m attributing this to her love of Pat the Bunny unless anyone else has an idea?

5. She wants to eat whatever J is eating. (And vice versa.)
I haven’t decided if this is a blessing or a curse. She literally wants to take whatever he’s working on and put it in her mouth. And he yanks the food out of whoever’s hand is closest. At least no one will go hungry?

6. She wants to do it herself.
This is usually cute, except when it’s making us late. Our lives are full of “El Kate do it!” *wait three seconds* “I need hep!”

7. Something small is a “baby” something.
Includes carrots, grapes, trees, flowers, animals, toys, balls, sticks, you get the idea.

8. She always closes the lid.
J has a certain affinity for playing in the toilet, so whenever EK uses the potty or happens to be in the bathroom, she closes the toilet lid and says, “No, no, Joe-Joe.” I can’t imagine where she heard that.

9. Silly, Ella Kate.
When she’s doing something she knows she shouldn’t be doing, even if I’m watching, and even if I’ve just told her to stop, she smiles and says, “Silly, El Kate!” as if that will pardon her misdemeanor.

10. She likes working out.
When I’m doing yoga, or doing a workout in the basement, she loves to do everything I’m doing. She is especially good at push-ups and downward-facing dog.

Does anyone else have a toddler with hilarious tendencies?