Tag Archives: mom life

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I hope wherever you are, it’s not quite as cold as it is here… but I guess the groundhog did sentence us with six more weeks of winter, so who are we to be surprised? Here are your weekly funnies!

In the car, behind a garbage truck…
J: What’s that on the back of that truck?
Hubby: A trash compactor.
J: I wish our car had a trash compactor.

D: I wan’ bananassss!
Me: Okay. *peels banana and hands it to him*
*two minutes pass, no bites taken*
Me: *takes a bite*
D: You stealing my bananassss?!

D to my friend: Come on! Mobies and abocados!
Friend: You taking me on a date?!

J, arriving at the park as the rain starts: Uuugghhh. I told you it wasn’t a good day to go to the park.

J: I’ll just take one more bite.
Me: If you want dessert, you need to take about ten more bites.
J: How about 138?!
Me: Sounds perfect!

D’s new misnomers…
Heart=heark
Secret=seekit
Pink=pank

J, talking to a sick EK: Miss Emilie said at chapel dis morning dat God will heal the sickness away!
EK: Did you hear what he told me?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! In case you’re new here, each Tuesday I compile some of the hilarious or sweet or silly things my kids have said throughout the week, and let you in on it. Enjoy!

D, trying to use a toy screwdriver: I need help!
Necie (my mom): Here… (unscrews it with her fingers)
D: Thass amaaaaaazing!

J, unprompted in a moment of quiet: I can’t believe D is in a big boy bed.
Me: You sound like his parent.

EK making big plans: …and this summer when we’re at the beach with you and G-Daddy and his boat…
Necie: But G-Daddy doesn’t have a boat.
EK: He can just order one.

J, looking at a basketball mascot: His head is… not a regular head.

J writing his name… perfectly… but backwards.

J chatting with EK: Well, this day looks really old.
EK, knowingly: Yeah.

EK telling us about school: I do burping lessons with Rosalie at lunch. She’s the boss of burping.
Me and Hubby: *laughing and cannot function*

J, handing out silverware: EK is a big year old, so she gets a big one.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! I hope you enjoy the funnies!

EK: He made your soup so fast!
J: No…
EK: Yes he did!
J: No… he made it quickly.

Me: One, two….?
D: …
Me: …
D: …
Me: Three! Four, five, six,
D, interrupting me: Seben!!!!!!!
Me: You got seven but not three?!

D, with a rolling pin inside his shirt: Mama look! I got a sword in my pocket!

Hubby: Here’s some falafel for you!
J: This isn’t waffles!

EK: And guess what?! We got lollipops! J got strawberry and I got watermelon and D got… he got green bean.
Me: I think it’s green apple…

I had asked EK to run a bath, and she came back up shouting: Mom! The light has run out of power in there!

EK referring to hand, foot, mouth: …and we all had footprints.

D about pterodactyls: I need da carrot-dactyl!

A few one-liners this week, eh? What are your kiddos saying these days? Or shall I say “saying improperly” these days?!

Parent Fail #437: So I took my kids to Chick-fil-A…

So I took my kids to Chick-fil-A for dinner tonight. Hubby had rehearsal, and I thought since they hadn’t had it in a few days, it was a good dinner option for just the four of us. I was actually pretty pleased with how the whole experience was going; they ate well, played nicely, and had even exchanged their toys for ice cream without any meltdowns. Finally, I gave them the five minute warning before we left to come home.

Then the two minute.

Then the “One more slide down, and then get your shoes on!”

J came out first… my sweet little three and a half year old. He was still squealing, but carried his socks and shoes to our table. EK, my five year old, typical oldest child, came next, her shoes already on. It became clear I was going to have to drag D, my only semi-coherently communicating two year old, out of the play area by force.

As I was wrangling D out from the top of where I could possibly reach inside that sticky, primary-colored plastic, I saw EK next to the door to leave the restaurant, her head turned, looking for me. Assuming she was just being impatient, I almost ignored her, until I didn’t see J.

I bolted out the door of the play area, knowing D probably wasn’t going anywhere anyway. EK shouted at me that J had run outside, just as I saw his shoes and socks at our table. My heart began to pound in my chest, afraid that the Chick-fil-A local high school fundraiser dinner rush was the optimal time for my kid to get snatched, or run over. You know, worst case scenario stuff. (Spoiler: he is fine.)

As I told EK to get back to D in the play area and wait there, I ran smack into my savior – a woman holding my giggling son by the arm, saying, “I’m just worried about this child!” I snatched (see the irony?) said giggling child, and began reprimanding and crying simultaneously. Then, I managed to look at my savior, the woman who had prevented my child from being run over or snatched by a stranger… Full into the face of a woman I knew. A sweet family friend, a mom of several littles herself, who just happened to be walking into Chick-fil-A empty-handed, leaving a free hand to grab my wayward child. Bless her heart, she didn’t know when she chose her dinner location how she would cause tears of relief to run down my face. (And also a long talk about safe choices, followed by a consequence of skipping his nightly TV time.) This parent fail is just one more example of how it takes a tribe, y’all. Do the good works for your fellow mamas.

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I hope your last bit of summer is relaxing, as ours will hopefully be over the next two weeks. We are all done traveling for a while, thank goodness. Here are the week’s funnies!img_3843

EK: When we get inside, do you want me to tell you about the helmet of the armor of God?
J: No, I don’t wear helmets.


D, pointing to the cockatoo: I wan’ toggle cockadoodle!

EK: When I get to kindergarten, I gotta stop doing baby things, do my ABCs (she’s ticking these items off on her fingers as she lists), be nice to my brothers, do what I’m supposed to do… then I’ll be doing the kindergarten thing.
Me: You sure will!

D, about five times in a row, holding his hand out: Too so! Too so! Too so!
Me, finally figuring it out: Too slow! Oh!
He wanted to play the high five game: up high, down low, in the middle, too slow!

Watching Star Wars Episode II, and I’m reading the beginning aloud…
Me: …mysterious Count Dooku…
J: *snickering*
Me: …to help the overwhelmed Jedi…
J: Well that was a lot of words.

EK, trying to tell me about Amidala: I love Queen Mazilla.

EK: I shared my blueberries with J!
J: Yeah! I asked her for some and she thinked about it, and den she said yes!

D runs up in a hat…
J: Looks like pirate D is here.

EK planned Hubby and me a “date” and then asked us to dress appropriately (aka gave us heels and a tie, respectively).Then she took J on that same date.

EK: Can we stay up till bednight?
Me: Do you mean midnight?
J: There’s many scary creatures at the midnight in the darkness… like the uglyfish. And a stinky sock! And like a shrimp!

The other night, D spent five minutes holding up different colors blocks and shouting: “Mooooom! Mooooom! Blue? Mooooom! Mooooom! Geen?” (And so on.)
Then earlier today, he spent 5 minutes sitting still on his tricycle as I tried to read my book, screaming, “Moooooom!” until I looked at him. I’ve come to the conclusion he needs a lot of affirmation right now.

Well, what are you kids saying these days??

Things Toddlers Say 

Hellooooooo Tuesday! Last week was blissfully spent with very little social media and very much sunshine and sand… and now that I’m back, I didn’t write quite everything down. But I’ve got a few little nuggets of Toddler Truth for you. Enjoy!

Talking about the dentist… and changing minds…
J: I don’t really want to go.
EK: Well the last time I was there I got a new toothbrush and could pick my toothpaste!
J: Well I guess I could do that.
EK: Mom! J just changed his mind about he dentist! He said he didn’t want to go but now he’s kind of incited! He changed his mind! You know, the whole world can change sometimes.
Me: That got serious quickly.

My mom: Listen! It’s so cute the way he says this! J, what color is this?
J: Toyquoise. It’s light blue.

J, as we passed a bread truck, covered in pictures of different sweet breads: Is that a special treat truck? Can we go where it’s going?

Our babysitter: While you were at the beach, did you eat some seafood?
EK: Yeah, but I didn’t like the seafood. But they had hush puppies, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, they’re dying me!” And then I said, “I’m going to eat all that stuff!”
And me, overhearing it from the other room, dying laughing.

I’ve listened to EK say mermaid incorrectly for a long time now, and I finally realized what she was saying: mername.

J, watching the first 30 seconds of A Bug’s Life: This is my bothest part! My favoritest! I’m gonna die about this part!

D, asking for more noodles: Doddles! Doddles, peez! Mo’ doddles peez, mama!

J in his car seat: Ugh a bug! Shoo shoo shoo! You’re making me stupid, bug!

J and D’s new favorite song: “Trust In Me” from (the old cartoon movie) The Jungle Book. You know, the song that Kaa the snake sings? So J is into slithering around, singing, “Trusssssssssst in meeeeeee….”

J, when he knows he’s in trouble: When we get home, could I play for just a little bit tad?

Well what are your kids saying? Do they have songs they sing or things they quote that are funny?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday! Here we are again, celebrating the little hilarities of life with toddlers. I’ve got a bunch of funnies from J again this week – enjoy!

 

Me: J, would you like this Avengers shirt?
J: Well, I doooo like it, but I’d really like something else.

J reading through Dr. Seuss’s Wacky Wednesday: Woah, woah, woah. That is NOT good.

D to J, who happened to be in trouble: No! No, J! ‘Pank! No!
Me and Hubby: ……


J, above: I have a dino-snore on my shirt! Like Daddy snores!

D: *cries*
EK, before anyone says anything: I didn’t do anything!

J: I feel the taste of it, Mom! What is it?!
Me: ….an orange…?

J trying to say ambulance: ambwe, ayam, ambleeyance?

J ran upstairs during bedtime…
Hubby: Where’d you run off to?
J: I just gotted to get some sippin’ water.

J, looking at my necklace: Did your husband get that for you?

J has been talking to his aunt Holly for a while. I come back in the room and he asks me: How many molars do you have, Mom?

J and me, using the blender and he says: It looks like a whirlpool!
Me: Wow. That was a really good word.

J, talking about my running leggings: You look so cute in those black pants, Mom!
Me: *winning*

Annie to EK: We need to talk about something very important before our naps.
EK: That Jesus is alive?

D’s new favorite words: Bok bok (like a chicken) and Hei Hei, Manana (Moana), and Maaaai (Maui). He loves the movie Moana.

J told me he wanted a banana. I told him wait just a sec. There was a step stool underneath this:EK: Nella, the princess knight is who I am!
Me: I am literally the proudest I’ve ever been.

Well, there ya go, Tuesday. I hope it brightened your day! Do you have some silly sayings of your kids that you could share??