Happy Tuesday, friends! I hope this little humor post finds you well, and enjoying your summer. We are traveling a lot over the next couple of weeks (a short trip and a longer trip) so you might hear a little less from us than normal. Anyway, here are today’s funnies! Enjoy!
Me: Is there anything special you’d like me to pray for?
J: Pray for it to be okay.
Me: What do you mean okay?
J: Okay is not whining or crying or being mad or sad. It’s just okay.
Me: Okay, I can do that.
Eating waffles with syrup…
EK: J, you have to lean over the table, like this. And also what’s important is to not get it on your clothes.
An ode to his cousin…
J: My cousin does a lot of nice things. He hugs and he kisses and he watches tv. He takes a good nap and eats dinner. He hugs and he kisses. Finley is so nice and does all those nice things.
J: Get out of there, you stupid bug!
EK: Don’t say stupid.
J: Well, I said it to the bug.
EK pointing to the store-brand coconut oil: I know where that came from! The grocery store! Because I see the letters for the store!
J: I love all of you so much! After we eat and I’m at home with you guys, I’ll give you all a wild hug!
EK: J, do you want to do manners at chick-a-lay? Like, I can teach you manners like safety because there will be a lot of children there.
J, talking about his blanket: Daddy gave me this when I was firteen years old yestaday.
D’s new words: Cars (like when he means the movies, as in pointing at the tv and saying “wan Cars”), broken (he breaks a lot of stuff, ya know?), his own name (SO CUTE) and ‘chini (because his favorite veggie is zucchini)
Now, tell me: what are your kids saying these days?!
Happy Tuesday, y’all! I hope your summer is off to a fantastic start! We have been enjoying ourselves outside, enjoying a visit from my mom, and planning a few trips. Anyway, here’s the good stuff… the funny stuff… the stuff you came here to read. Enjoy!
J with my mom…
Necie: I love you, and you are so much fun.
J: Do you know why I’m so much fun?
Necie: No, why?
J: Because I’m so handsome!
Me, upon hearing the story: And so humble!
EK, hands me my headband I wear when I run: Wanna go on a run together?
We ran a little, a quarter mile maybe, and then it was over. But it was cute while it lasted!
J: You remember when I locked myself outside and there was a robot?
EK: I think you’re just making that up.
J talking to our friend Tim…
J: I’m almost as old as you.
Tim: How old am I?
J: 15 months away.
J telling me about his afternoon: I went back and forf a lot today. From the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor.
J, getting out of bed way after bedtime: Hey mom?
Me: Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?
J: Hey mom? There was a creak in my room. And a scratch on my bed. But there was a creak but then I….. (me zoning out of the story)
Me: Okay, night night buddy.
My mom went to put J down for his nap…
J: Necie, when it’s time for me to wake up, I want you to still be here.
Necie: I will be here; I promise.
J: You can sleep between my parents. They will make room for you. But they only have two pillows.
Necie: Okay, buddy. Thanks!
Me in the car: Do you guys want to be my helpers when we get home?
EK: Yeah! J, let’s clean everything for mom!
Me: I meant help me cook dinner but that works too!
EK: J, did you move these flowers?!
EK: Well those are MY hens and chicks. Don’t move them.
J: Well I just wanted to share your hens and chicks.
EK: J! Do NOT pick my hens and chicks ever again!
(Pardon the weeds, by the way.)
Me: Yeah, you’re covered in dirt.
J: I know Chinese!
Me: What Chinese words do you know?
J: I know food Chinese! (as in the names of Chinese dishes, which is true)
J: Did anyone think my burp was funny?
The room: *crickets*
Hey y’all and happy Tuesday! Thanks for dropping in to read the sillies!
EK explaining “armpit” to J: Right here. It helps you be strong and hug people. That’s why they call it that.
EK: I don’t want to get any babies because I don’t want to go to the hospital and see the doctors and them not get my baby out and my body not be good.
Me: They can get your babies out safely and your body will go back to normal after a while. (White lie?)
EK, after a pause: okay. I’ll take a baby.
We had been talking about volcanoes…
Hubby: Would you like to go see a volcano?
EK: Yeah. But if it’s unerupting in the map then I don’t want to go.
How I know we’ve been watching Mulan a lot…
J, playing with blocks: Can you help me make a China?
Five minutes later…
I kissed J goodnight…
J: Ouch! You actually just hit my boohoo on my wip.
Me: I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to.
J: It’s okay. You actually just gave me a big kiss.
When we go to the lake with my inlaws, EK sleeps in a little daybed in her grandfathers room. She got up to use the bathroom in the night, and asked him: Is it okay if I flush the potty? I don’t want to wake Annie (her grandmother).
EK: I like Gon Gon’s food better than yours. But I still like yours.
Me: Well, Gon Gon’s food is the best, so that doesn’t hurt my feelings.
All throughout the grocery store…
EK and J, singing: Let’s go to the poooooottyyyyyy! Let’s go to the pooooooottyyyyy!
Me, to everyone else: They don’t actually have to go. I checked. I’m sorry. They’re usually so polite.
J: He drives his Batmocar. And my name is Batmo-Pudding!
EK, with the jokes: If you put a real dog in the fire, he’ll be a hot dog!
Hubby: You should never put a live animal in the fire.
Happy Tuesday! I hope everyone enjoyed a nice Memorial Day! We spent a few hours at the pool with family, spent some time with friends playing games during the kids’ nap time, and then had more friends over for dinner! All in all it was a nice day, and I hope yours was, too! Here are our funnies for the week – Enjoy!
J, runs up to me with a toy screwdriver: Mom! It’s my work! It’s part of my work I was doing!
EK: Mom, what is that girl called? The one on the G-A-R-L-M-H-K-G? (Attempted robotic voice) “The turn is in one mile away.”
Me: What? I don’t know.
Hubby: …..the GPS?
EK: The one that gives us “one mile away”. What’s her name?
Me: Well, she’s a computer…..
EK and I up a little early one morning: I can’t hear Daddy snoring. Is his door shut?
EK and J taking turns using the bathroom…
J: I like those underwears!
J: I like the girls on them.
EK: Yeah, so many Cinerellas.
I suppose they should start pottying alone.
J: Mom! Did you know that daddy whales are mommy whales?!?!
Me: Well…. I don’t…. Ryannnnn!
J: You know what drinks your blood?
Hubby: What drinks your blood?
Hubby: I don’t think so. They eat grass.
J: But EK told me so yesterday!
Hubby: Mosquitos drink your blood.
J: But grasshoppers just hop! They don’t eat grass!
Me: I don’t know anything about bugs.
D’s longest sentence to date: I got in the cold water!
Hubby is eating a salad…
J: Daddy! We’re twins!
J: My fork is green and your leaves are green and my fork is green and we are twins!
J, at dinner: Mom when will my rice be cool enough to eat?
Me: I bet when you finish your chicken finger it’ll be cool enough.
J, a minute later: Mom, you were absolutely wrong.
J: I finished my chicken and this rice is NOT cool enough to eat.
J, lifting something heavy: I’m even stronger than Jesus!
What are the silly things your kids are saying these days?
Self-care is becoming a buzzword in our society. As we are able to work from home (read: anywhere), connect with hundreds of people are the touch of a button, and multitask like true professionals, we’re only getting busier. The call to slow down and take care of yourself is simultaneously getting louder and more difficult to heed.
As a SAHM mother of three children under five, who also works part-time, finding time for myself is often not at the top of my to-do list. But I’ve also realized that I’m a better wife and mother if I have a little time to myself. It looks different each day, and I spend it differently each time, but here are a few things I do to ensure a little time for me.
1. Plan it with my hubby. He’s my support and my biggest cheerleader, and he’s always willing to help me have time to get my nails done or even to just take a nap. He encourages me to write, to practice my music, to go out and have coffee without the kids. I plan with him for when he can keep the kids and I can sneak out for an hour or two to refresh, to relax, and do whatever it is I need to regroup.
2. Let some things go. Sometimes, when my kids are napping or go to bed early, I get the urge to clean all the things, fold all the laundry, and prep all the meals. Other times, I let it all slide (even though those chores are still waiting on me) to take a long shower, read a book with un-re-heated coffee, or watch a movie with a glass of wine. Believe me- the dishes aren’t going anywhere.
3. Hang out with a girlfriend (or a few). My girlfriends are a mix of fellow moms and also gal pals who don’t have kids. Sometimes it takes a lot of planning (and babysitters) to get together with them, but other times, I can just have a friend over for morning coffee after preschool drop off, or a post-bedtime chat over wine. Being with a girlfriend can refill the relational and feminine parts of me. And never underestimate the reinvigorating qualities of a girls’ night!
4. Take a power nap. Napping isn’t for everyone, and it wasn’t for me until I had kids. But now that I often choose many things over sleep (including things I love doing, not just chores), a power nap can work wonders. A 20-minute snooze during their nap time can be just as good as napping the whole time they’re asleep! If I know I have things to do after their bedtime, the power nap can keep me going a little longer.
5. Get dressed. I always feel more productive and happier with myself when I make the effort to get out of my pajamas (even if I’m not leaving the house), wash my face, and brush on a coat of mascara. It sounds silly, but it gives me a boost, and makes me feel more like myself, even if I don’t need to do it.
What things do you do to make sure you’re your best self?
I wrote this piece during the Christmas season, when things were very busy, and I just hadn’t had enough time with EK.
My daughter is like me. She’s so much like me that it’s a little bit scary. For instance, she can run pretty well on a low amount of sleep. I’ve always been that way; slumber parties, college, newborn babies’ schedules: I’ve been a champion of productivity through it all. But now, I have a few toddlers and preschoolers, and they still need sleep, but EK is a the winner. She is often her normal self, even when I know she hasn’t gotten enough sleep.
The week before Christmas, things were hectic (surprise, surprise) and I was up late doing some wrapping. EK wandered out of her room, and found me amid rolls of wrapping paper, ribbons, and tape. Instead of getting frustrated that she’d been in bed for PLENTY long enough to fall asleep, I asked if she’d like to help me. She was thrilled. Hubby was working and the boys had long been asleep, so we stayed up for almost another hour, wrapping presents, tying bows, and she even got to label them all.
At the end of the hour, we were both sleepy, but we had had so much fun just being together, working side by side on a task, and seeing a pile of nicely wrapped gifts at the end. She looked at me when we were finished and said, “Mom! It feels like the middle of the night!” And while it was only about 10:00pm, I knew it must feel that way to her. I was tired too – and I stay up that late every night.
I walked her back to her room, tucked her in, and slid in the bed next to her. She requested a carol or two, and we sang them together. We said our prayers (the second time that evening) and I left to get ready for bed. I knew that letting her stay up with me had been a special treat, a sweet memory for my daughter to latch on to throughout the busy week ahead, when the house would be full of people and I wouldn’t have much time to be with only her. The next day, she didn’t seem extra tired or even a bit grumpy. I think the one-on-one time with me might have been just as restoring as that hour of sleep she lost.
As a busy, part-time working, mostly-SAHM of three, and a fairly recent long-distance runner, I think a lot about random things while running. I do a lot of over-analyzing, some to-do list building, and some praying. I mean, I’m training for a half-marathon and that takes a lot of time of feet hitting pavement. All that considered, here are a few things that go through my head often while I’m out on a long run.
1. Do I know someone close by? I need to pee. Having three kids has pretty much wrecked my bladder. A friend recently recommended Kegels. I told her I thought that was some bullshit.
2. This is my fastest run ever! This is rarely true. Typically it’s just a bare-minimum pace, combined with a train of thought that’s made me feel like time has passed more quickly.
3. This is my slowest run ever! This is more likely than #2. However, it’s also not always true. Sometimes I’m actually running quickly, but the song I am listening to is too slow. I feel like my feet aren’t hitting the pavement quickly enough.
4. Do I need a snack before I run any farther? I have learned that if I haven’t eaten enough calories (or the right calories) before my run – since I often run in the morning – I’m going to get super tired after mile 4 or so. I’ve been packing some light snack options in that tiny pocket in my leggings. You know, something I can eat while running, without feeling the need to vomit afterwards. This is either a milestone of reaching a distance that feels really far for my body, or else a milestone of being 31 and too tired for this mess.
5. Haven’t I heard this song already? I only take my phone with me to listen to music. I use my FitBit for tracking, and make my iPhone an iPod. I don’t have many songs downloaded on there, and so when I put it on shuffle, and run for an hour, it’s actually possible that I start hearing things a second time. But I’m never quite sure… because what if that was yesterday? My memory’s going.
6. But seriously, when do the park bathrooms open? It’s March, it’s not that cold, and I’d like the bathrooms at my neighborhood running park to open up so that I can pee between mile 2 and 3, and again between mile 5 and 6. It’s a thing. I need to pee. All the time. (Let’s just say it’s because I’m super hydrated.)
7. Tomorrow I’m totally running 8 miles. Or however many miles I think is way farther than today. Because today isn’t a good day for it, but tomorrow will be. Right now, I’m a little tired.
8. Please Lord, don’t let me bite the dust. Inevitably, I get super tired on the stretch just before the homestretch. When I’m almost back to my house, I’m all, “Sweet! Just another half mile!” But just before then, I’m all, “Why did I ever let myself run for this many minutes in a row? I clearly am not hydrated or energized enough for this. I made a horrible decision and I’m going to chip my teeth on the sidewalk when I fall.” But I’m definitely not being over-dramatic about the situation.
9. These leggings are totally too big. I usually run in leggings, especially this time of year before it’s too warm. Recently, I’ve been having issues finding leggings that don’t ride up, or slide down, or twist, or keep me too warm, or let too much wind in. I have several different brands, and they’re all fine, but not amazing. Any tips for me, the OCD running queen?
10. I must be crazy to think I can do this. A half-marathon is 13.1 miles. The farthest I’ve gone recently is 7.2 miles. It seems I have a ways to go. I MUST BE CRAZY, Y’ALL.
But hey! Running makes me feel good, look good, and be able to talk like a crazy exercise freak with a lot of other people, including strangers. Cheers to the insane runners!