Tag Archives: mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, friends! I hope this little humor post finds you well, and enjoying your summer. We are traveling a lot over the next couple of weeks (a short trip and a longer trip) so you might hear a little less from us than normal. Anyway, here are today’s funnies! Enjoy!

Me: Is there anything special you’d like me to pray for?
J: Pray for it to be okay.
Me: What do you mean okay?
J: Okay is not whining or crying or being mad or sad. It’s just okay.
Me: Okay, I can do that.

Eating waffles with syrup…
EK: J, you have to lean over the table, like this. And also what’s important is to not get it on your clothes.

An ode to his cousin…
J: My cousin does a lot of nice things. He hugs and he kisses and he watches tv. He takes a good nap and eats dinner. He hugs and he kisses. Finley is so nice and does all those nice things.

J: Get out of there, you stupid bug!
EK: Don’t say stupid.
J: Well, I said it to the bug.


EK pointing to the store-brand coconut oil: I know where that came from! The grocery store! Because I see the letters for the store!

J: I love all of you so much! After we eat and I’m at home with you guys, I’ll give you all a wild hug!

EK: J, do you want to do manners at chick-a-lay? Like, I can teach you manners like safety because there will be a lot of children there.

J, talking about his blanket: Daddy gave me this when I was firteen years old yestaday. 

D’s new words: Cars (like when he means the movies, as in pointing at the tv and saying “wan Cars”), broken (he breaks a lot of stuff, ya know?), his own name (SO CUTE) and ‘chini (because his favorite veggie is zucchini)

Now, tell me: what are your kids saying these days?!

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, one and all! Spring has sprung here in our house, and we’re obsessed with all that comes with it! Enjoy our funny little sayings!

J, holding his ukulele and wearing his backpack: I’m going to my gig, mom!

J: *tells same story about a robot on our porch he’s been telling for months*
EK: Why do you keep telling that same story, J?
J: I just love stories about robots!

At EK’s preschool music performance…
J: Can I go up there?!
Me: It’ll be your turn next year.
J: I guess I want to go home then.

Talking about Moana…
EK: Okay. Now let’s talk about the waves. (Cue ten excruciating minutes laboring over why the waves moved of their own accord.)

EK: What are you making mama?
Me: Brownies!
EK: You’re just like Lala! (My bestie who always makes sweet treats)

EK: Can I watch you make your coffee in that golden jar, Dad?
This is the golden jar:(It’s a French press.)

Passing the baseball stadium…
EK: You said the baseball opens in April. Is it April?
Me: No, it’s still March.
EK: Okay. I’ll ask you every day, “Is it April yet?” and you’ll tell me when it is. Okay?
Me: …okay…

Holiday mix-up…
EK: You know what’s my favorite month to set up for Easter? March 27!
Me: Wait. What?

EK and I are singing Moana for the hundredth time…
J: You guys! You’re making me annoying myself!

Hope you enjoyed our funnies! What silly things are your kids saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! In case you don’t know this already, every Tuesday, I post some hilarious or really cute things my kiddos have said during the week. Right now, here are their ages: EK is almost 5, J is 3, and D is 1.5, so his contributions are minimal. So, here are a few of them from this week! Enjoy!

EK: Can we marry our brothers?
Me: No, we don’t marry the people in our families.
EK: We have to marry someone we don’t know?
Me: Not necessarily. You could marry someone you know already or you might meet them when you’re older.
I was scared what that conversation would turn into.

EK: While we’re at school, do you do your reading and then pick up the sticks?
Me: Yep. Sometimes I do those things.
I’m dying because picking up sticks from the lawn is her outdoor job sometimes. She clearly thinks I do it while she’s not around.

EK: Would you like to try this bell pepper? It’s really spicy.
Me: Bell peppers aren’t actually very spicy.
EK: Yeah, this bell pepper is sweet and comfortable, right Mom?

EK, holding a spoon to D: Carrot?
D: No!
EK: Come on! It’s juicy, it’s sweet, it’s a carrot!

Things a guitarist’s daughter says…
EK: Dad, I gathered all your picks so that D won’t eat them.

All day on Friday (St. Patrick’s Day)…
EK: Happy Mattress Day!

J, professing his love: I like you, Mom. I really like you.

The creepiest thing J will ever say to EK: Baby, come here! Daddy gots you a present! (I’m sure it was related to playing “family” which they often do, but it sounded so creepy.)

EK hands me the ruffle that goes on a sunhat: Here, Mom. It tenaches. (Attaches)

J, pointing at my sis-in-law holding my niece: Are you holding the baby girl princess?

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a windy, strange weather type of day here, so a little humor might make us all feel better! Here is a sampling of what my kids have been saying this week…

EK: I want to be a river for Halloween! (Very serious.)

EK: This tooth is about to come out!
Me: Really? Yep, it’s wiggly!
EK: I think it was that pork belly I was eating for lunch. (We had pork belly tacos.)

EK: What car will I drive when I’m an adult?
Me: I don’t know; we’ll have to see.
EK: Maybe I’ll just ride on the green bus.
(Our city buses here are green.)

Me: Did you miss me while I was gone?
J: Kind of.

Me, leaving for a run: Okay, I’m going now. The quicker I go, the quicker I get back!
J, shouting out the door: The quicker you go, be safe on your run!

Me, taking a sip of my wine: As whites go, this one’s not too bad.
J, taking a sip of his water: This water’s not too cold with the ice.

J: I gotta go to the dentist because my teef hurt.
Me: Let me see, bud.
J: *opens mouth where I can only see the front of his bottom teeth*

EK: Tomorrow is Sunday!
Our friend Samuel: What do you do on Sunday?
EK: Put on a dress! And go potty!
Me: *dying*

Talking about the Curious George Halloween special that the bigs are obsessed with…
J, running around in circles: Oh no! No-Noggin is so scary! I don’t know which way to hide from him!!

Speaking of this, J has become quite the story teller. He weaves tales about tooth fairies (with very little understanding about how that works), keys breaking off in doors, and chocolate-eating.

Me, about a dress-up dress: This dress has been through the wringer.
EK: No, my ring is downstairs.

J, hanging out of his classroom, seeing me walk down the hall to pick him up: Mom! It’s me! Your sweet son!

J: What if it was a dinosaur? Or a dinosaurus?!

EK: Mom, when you went to colletch (not college lol) did you have to get on a plane?
Me: No, I just drove in my car.

EK: Can we get on a plane and go back to DisneyWorld?
Me: We will go back sometime.
J: Yeah, we will just have to drove there.

EK: Next time we play hide and seek, in gonna hide in the fridgelator!

J: We just went over some speed bumps!
EK: Wait! How did you remember those were speed bumps?!

EK: We’re home! I see Daddy’s car and the cannolia tree!
Me: I wish cannolis grew on trees.

Hope you enjoyed our humor for the week! What do your kids say that’s a little off?

10 Thoughts I Have On a Long Run

 

Every time I run in the morning, my steps “goal” is achieved in short order.

 

As a busy, part-time working, mostly-SAHM of three, and a fairly recent long-distance runner, I think a lot about random things while running. I do a lot of over-analyzing, some to-do list building, and some praying. I mean, I’m training for a half-marathon and that takes a lot of time of feet hitting pavement. All that considered, here are a few things that go through my head often while I’m out on a long run.

1. Do I know someone close by? I need to pee. Having three kids has pretty much wrecked my bladder. A friend recently recommended Kegels. I told her I thought that was some bullshit.

2. This is my fastest run ever! This is rarely true. Typically it’s just a bare-minimum pace, combined with a train of thought that’s made me feel like time has passed more quickly.

3. This is my slowest run ever! This is more likely than #2. However, it’s also not always true. Sometimes I’m actually running quickly, but the song I am listening to is too slow. I feel like my feet aren’t hitting the pavement quickly enough.

4. Do I need a snack before I run any farther? I have learned that if I haven’t eaten enough calories (or the right calories) before my run – since I often run in the morning – I’m going to get super tired after mile 4 or so. I’ve been packing some light snack options in that tiny pocket in my leggings. You know, something I can eat while running, without feeling the need to vomit afterwards. This is either a milestone of reaching a distance that feels really far for my body, or else a milestone of being 31 and too tired for this mess.

5. Haven’t I heard this song already? I only take my phone with me to listen to music. I use my FitBit for tracking, and make my iPhone an iPod. I don’t have many songs downloaded on there, and so when I put it on shuffle, and run for an hour, it’s actually possible that I start hearing things a second time. But I’m never quite sure… because what if that was yesterday? My memory’s going.

6. But seriously, when do the park bathrooms open? It’s March, it’s not that cold, and I’d like the bathrooms at my neighborhood running park to open up so that I can pee between mile 2 and 3, and again between mile 5 and 6. It’s a thing. I need to pee. All the time. (Let’s just say it’s because I’m super hydrated.)

7. Tomorrow I’m totally running 8 miles. Or however many miles I think is way farther than today. Because today isn’t a good day for it, but tomorrow will be. Right now, I’m a little tired.

8. Please Lord, don’t let me bite the dust. Inevitably, I get super tired on the stretch just before the homestretch. When I’m almost back to my house, I’m all, “Sweet! Just another half mile!” But just before then, I’m all, “Why did I ever let myself run for this many minutes in a row? I clearly am not hydrated or energized enough for this. I made a horrible decision and I’m going to chip my teeth on the sidewalk when I fall.” But I’m definitely not being over-dramatic about the situation.

9. These leggings are totally too big. I usually run in leggings, especially this time of year before it’s too warm. Recently, I’ve been having issues finding leggings that don’t ride up, or slide down, or twist, or keep me too warm, or let too much wind in. I have several different brands, and they’re all fine, but not amazing. Any tips for me, the OCD running queen?

10. I must be crazy to think I can do this. A half-marathon is 13.1 miles. The farthest I’ve gone recently is 7.2 miles. It seems I have a ways to go. I MUST BE CRAZY, Y’ALL.

But hey! Running makes me feel good, look good, and be able to talk like a crazy exercise freak with a lot of other people, including strangers. Cheers to the insane runners!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! EK and I are in Georgia with my family, but there are still some funnies here! Enjoy your Tuesday!

EK: How did she get you in her belly?
Me: What?
EK: Necie. How did she get you in her belly so you could be born?
Me: *oh no, oh no* Well… she got pregnant.
EK: Pregnant? Well how did you get out? Did they tear her belly and let you out?
Me: Uh, well, she went to the hospital to get me out.
EK: *tries to keep going*
Me: SO WHAT did you learn at school today, sweetie?!

J at bedtime: Will you sing about pineapple tree?
Me: I don’t think I know that one.
J: It goes like this: Pineapple tree, pineapple tree, pineapple tree, tomorroooooow! (In a very melodic voice I might add.) Now you do it!
Me: Well, I think it sounds great when you do it.
J: *repeats song*

EK and J have been making “birthday cakes” out of these manipulatives. EK made one on my bedroom floor, and J came in and saw it…J: Oh, Daddy! What a lovely cake!

J in the car one day, giggling his butt off: The ocean is made out of cookie butts!

Talking about our trip to my parents’ house before we left…
Hubby: What do you want to do there? Want to go shopping?
EK: Yeah! At the food store! In case they don’t have food and need it!

While EK and I were gone, J managed to cut his pinky finger on something. Hubby woke up to him very matter-of-factly telling him that he was bleeding. When I was FaceTiming him later that morning, he described what happened liked this: Well I was in D’s room. And I  smashed it! I smashed my promise finger on the black and grey fing. The rectangle. And then I was bleeding on the floor! And I just smashed my little piggy and I came upstairs. (Yes, “promise finger” and “little piggy” are words used to describe his pinky finger.)

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, all! Besides the adorable yoga photo, there are some other funnies here to brighten your day. Enjoy!


Necie: You have on shoes but no pants?
J: Yeah. Like EK did it. I did what she did.
(She was wearing a dress.)

Me: Are you upset, bud?
J: I’m just mad at everybody.
EK: That means you’re mad at me!
J: Not a funny joke!

EK: I’m not tired!
Necie: Yes you are… I can see it.
EK: I was just frownding.


J: Can you get me more card moneys?


EK is working on her drawing skills.

EK: I want to listen to Moana.
Me: Well, I put on the Disney radio, so whatever comes up is what we’ll hear.
EK, making her justification: It’s cloudy enough. We can listen to Moana.

J finishes his breakfast in record time.
Me: Wow! Would you like some more eggs?
J: Not exactly… (walks away)
Me: Okay, then.

J: Ahhh! He’s gonna stole this from me! (Runs away from D)

J, grunting and trying to pick up D: Here, Mom! Here’s the biggest boy you never haved before!

After putting him down twice and thinking I’ve finally gotten him to stay…
Me: Good night, babe.
J: Good night. I guess I am a liddle sleepy. (Followed by a dramatic but genuine yawn)

D has some new words, too! Here they are: no, bye bye, G-dah (what he’s calling my dad), Neenee (what he calls my mom AND hubby’s mom), night night, water, shoes, pants, nose, go (because he loves going wherever J and EK go), down (doesn’t like the high chair if he’s eaten what he considers to be enough) and yeaahhhh! And did I mention “no”? He says that one most of all.

Who else’s kids love saying no to everything? Will it ever stop?!