Tag Archives: funny

Things Toddlers Say 

Hello, Tuesday! We’ve had an awesome week of vacation, being separated from our technology most of the time, hands and feet turning all pruny in Lake Norman. Today it’s back to reality, but here are a few of the things I managed to write down this week. Enjoy!

J, matter-of-factly : I just like calling my cousin “bro”.

J: I made a telescope! (a bunch of square magnets with holes in the middle all in a row)
Hubby: How far can you see?
J: I can see all the way to the clock. And you can’t see anything without it but I can see really far with it.
Me: At least he has the right idea what a telescope is?

D: *kisses J*
J: He’s giving me love kisses! I’m getting covered in love kisses!

J: I’ll make you a rainbow out of these blocks. You just make sure they don’t match and that’s how you make a rainbow.
Me: Yeah, that’s almost it.

D’s new words:
tuggle=snuggle
woe-woe=yellow
Pickey Moss=Mickey Mouse

J: Gon Gon (his grandad) I have something important to telled you. Your food is really good.

EK: I don’t like it when people jump on my bed.

Me: Then why do you jump on your bed?

J: Mama, daddy, do you speak Chinese?

Me: Ni hao ma? (Which means “how are you?”)

J: Ne hsu ma hsu hsu ma ma eeeeeee! Chineeeeeeeese!

EK, bringing me an envelope: Mama, can I open this antelope?

J’s new thing is repetition games. Such as: when he’s putting on his clothes, he holds up each item, “Is this my shirt? Is this my pants? Is this my socks?” until we’ve affirmed each item with its correct name. Or he will hold up some blocks, one by one, “Is this a square? Is this a square? Is this a square?!” with increasing excitement each time. This morning it was doing several different actions/sounds and asking, “Is this loud? Is this loud?”

What silly or weird things do your kids do?

Things Toddlers Say 

Hi there! I hope everyone has had a great week! I can’t believe it’s AUGUST! It’s been too cool around here to believe it’s actually the hottest month of the year. Anyway, here are some funnies for ya!

J: You know why I kissed you?
Me: Why bud?
J: Because everything changes when I kiss you!

J: Mom, can I have a fruit snack?
*running feet*
D: Mom! I wan’ fuit sna!

Scenario: I’m standing in the kitchen next to the trash can, and J is eating a Babybel in the next room.
J walks up to me and holds his hand out: Mom, can you throw ’tis trash in the trash can?
Me: *looks from J to the trash can one foot away* Can you throw the trash in the trash can?

Science bomb…
J: The truest question is that girls don’t have hineys.
Me: Um. What?

J: Dad, after my nap can I have cookies?
Hubby: You mean the Oreos?
J: No! The ones that are black on the top, and black on the bottom and white in the middle!
Hubby: …those are Oreos…

EK: Let’s watch a mermaid movie… but not The Little Mermaid.
J: So you mean the big mermaid?

What are your kids talking about these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Hellooooooo Tuesday! Last week was blissfully spent with very little social media and very much sunshine and sand… and now that I’m back, I didn’t write quite everything down. But I’ve got a few little nuggets of Toddler Truth for you. Enjoy!

Talking about the dentist… and changing minds…
J: I don’t really want to go.
EK: Well the last time I was there I got a new toothbrush and could pick my toothpaste!
J: Well I guess I could do that.
EK: Mom! J just changed his mind about he dentist! He said he didn’t want to go but now he’s kind of incited! He changed his mind! You know, the whole world can change sometimes.
Me: That got serious quickly.

My mom: Listen! It’s so cute the way he says this! J, what color is this?
J: Toyquoise. It’s light blue.

J, as we passed a bread truck, covered in pictures of different sweet breads: Is that a special treat truck? Can we go where it’s going?

Our babysitter: While you were at the beach, did you eat some seafood?
EK: Yeah, but I didn’t like the seafood. But they had hush puppies, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, they’re dying me!” And then I said, “I’m going to eat all that stuff!”
And me, overhearing it from the other room, dying laughing.

I’ve listened to EK say mermaid incorrectly for a long time now, and I finally realized what she was saying: mername.

J, watching the first 30 seconds of A Bug’s Life: This is my bothest part! My favoritest! I’m gonna die about this part!

D, asking for more noodles: Doddles! Doddles, peez! Mo’ doddles peez, mama!

J in his car seat: Ugh a bug! Shoo shoo shoo! You’re making me stupid, bug!

J and D’s new favorite song: “Trust In Me” from (the old cartoon movie) The Jungle Book. You know, the song that Kaa the snake sings? So J is into slithering around, singing, “Trusssssssssst in meeeeeee….”

J, when he knows he’s in trouble: When we get home, could I play for just a little bit tad?

Well what are your kids saying? Do they have songs they sing or things they quote that are funny?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Vacation isn’t stopping my kids from saying hilarious things, so here is a sampling of the things I’ve heard this week! Enjoy!

EK to our babysitter: I’m going to make your hair look exotic!

J: Mama, when I get up, can we do that thing we did the other day?
Me: Yeah, babe. What thing?
J: I don’t remember.

Heard from the back seat…
J: EK, we’re not playing that panties game!

EK at dinner: Did you know that bats use listening and feeling and snelling (no typo) to find their way around ’cause they can’t see?
Everyone: Oh wow! Cool! No way!
EK: Yeah, that’s how I get to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Listening, feeling, and snelling.

EK, randomly: Mom, I want to join a bunch of kids. I want to work on my soccers.

EK, randomly mimicking the self-check out: Thank you for shopping at Lowe’s Foods!

D: *crying in the car at 9:00am*
EK: Why don’t you go to sleep, D? You’ll do less crying that way.
Me: He’s not even been awake a full hour, sweetie.

EK, with a bag full of sandy seashells: These are sorry shells for D. Because he wasn’t feeling good. 

J, to EK, while brushing their teeth: Don’t just eat it like a lollipop!

There you have it: Things I Couldn’t Make Up If I Tried. What are your kids surprising you with these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday everyone! We’ve just completed a day full of yard work, and I’m feeling great about a little spruce up in our back yard. The kiddos are at preschool summer camp this week in the mornings, so we’ve been fairly productive with the two mornings we’ve had without them.

Here are a few funnies from the past week – hope you enjoy them!


That picture up there is an example of what EK asked the face painter at a birthday party to do. It’s a sunset with palm trees. In case you’re wondering.

EK: Will cherry juice stain your clothes?
Hubby: Yes
EK: Will it clean off in the washer machine?
Hubby: Maybe, but it’s extra work, and it still might not come off.
EK: Maybe you’ll just have to deal about it. Like my mom tells me when my toys break.
Hubby: *silence*

D, pointing at the TV: Mana! Mana!
Hubby: You want to watch Mary Poppins?
D: Mana! Mana! MANA!
Hubby: OH! Moana… You want to watch Moana?
D: Yeah!

J: My booboo’s getting very reddish and I need a bandaid!

EK, calling me out: Why do you always put your eyescara on in the car?

EK with some wisdom: I think you had me first, because you needed help, because D and J are hard.

J, stomping into our bedroom at 10pm: I just want to snuggle you!
Me: *giggling*
J: Laugh quietly because the baby is sleeping!

EK, when the three kids and I are all in the car: Where’s daddy?
Me: He’s at home.
EK: I bet he’s sad because he’s got no one to talk to.
Me: It sounds like you don’t know he’s an introvert.

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy holiday week, y’all! I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th – I know we did! We enjoyed some time in the mountains with friends (thank goodness for a little drop in temperature up there!) and are glad to be home today, which is why it’s Toddler Wednesday this week! Lots of funny one-liners this week from the kiddos. It’s like I always say: I can’t make this stuff up. Enjoy!

J: My daughter says I have Xian Yu (from Mulan) on my money!
Me: Where’d you get that money? And who is your daughter?

EK: Dad, will you sit on me? I mean carry me?

EK: Dad, if I wrestled on you, you’d, like, spank me in the face!

J to my Nana: Why are you so bumpy? (He meant the wrinkles)

EK, randomly: So do you just look around when you want to find a husband? You just, walk around? Till you find the one you want?

EK: I decided I don’t think I want my hair as long as Rapunzel’s. I want a little cut.
Me: Oh really? (That had been her mantra for ages.) How short do you want to cut it?
EK: I want it to be like Celia’s.
Me: Who is Celia?
EK: Celia, from Monsters, Inc.
Me: Oh, you want snakes for hair.

Toddler logic:
J: I’m hopping on one foot because I didn’t take a nap. And EK is walking on two feet because she took a great nap.

J, on roasted cauliflower: I am very hungry for dis.

J: Stop doing that!
Me: Stop doing what?
J: Stop doing nothing!

What silly things are your kids saying these days?! Leave a comment and tell me about it!

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! We are in Georgia visiting my family for the week, so I’ve been in and out of actually writing things down. BUT here are some of the funnies that have occurred over the last week. Hope you enjoy them!


J, making friends: Hey! Wanna meet my dad? He’s over there, he has shoes, pants, and a shirt. Anyway, his name’s Ryan.
Me to Hubby: That might’ve overwhelmed the poor kid.

D, licking me: Ewwww! Hehehehe, ewwww!

Me, wiping D’s nose with his shirt: Sorry, I don’t usually do this but I don’t have any tissues.
Annie: Sometimes it’s necessary.
EK: That’s what babies are all about, Mom.
Me: Uh, yeah.


J: Look at what I made! (Above)
Me: Oh, it looks nice!
J: No! It’s a ship and it’s NOT nice. I’m gonna put some guns on it.
Me: Alright then.

J, playing with some magnatiles: Look Dad! It’s THUNDER CRAB! SMASH!

Heard from the back seat…
J: I don’t like playing family. I like playing hide and seek.

Me, on the phone: Hello? Are you still there? Can you hear me? I can’t hear her anymore.
EK: She’s probably just in the bath.

Hope everyone is having a lovely week! Comment with some funny things YOUR kids have been saying these days!!