Tag Archives: kids say the darnedest things

Things Toddlers Say

I’m so glad it’s Tuesday! I love sharing these little quips and sillies with you. I hope you enjoy them!

J: Can I have a special drink tonight that isn’t sprite?
Hubby: What’s wrong with sprite?
J: Sprite wasn’t working for me.

J, trying to get his buddies to surprise us: Okay, on my count. One, two, threeeee!

J at an Italian restaurant: It’s nice to be in this place. Well, it’s nice to be in the whole world.

J’s new favorite word: defint-ly. (Definitely. And he definitely says it several times in one sentence.)

D, reaching his hand into my pasta: Let me share with you!

Annie (their grandma): Do you want five more M&Ms?
D: Six!
Annie: Six?!
D: Seben!

J, holding up one of his hands toward me: Every single finger on this hand has a cut. I look… damaged.
(Same convo, a little later.)
J: The most what is on me is cuts.
Ek: No, the most what is on you is hair. And pajamas. And dirt.

D, bringing EK’s mittens: I want EK’s thumbs!
Hubby finally explained to me why he might call them that… whenever we put mittens on him, we always tell him to stick out his thumbs!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! In case you’re new here, each Tuesday I compile some of the hilarious or sweet or silly things my kids have said throughout the week, and let you in on it. Enjoy!

D, trying to use a toy screwdriver: I need help!
Necie (my mom): Here… (unscrews it with her fingers)
D: Thass amaaaaaazing!

J, unprompted in a moment of quiet: I can’t believe D is in a big boy bed.
Me: You sound like his parent.

EK making big plans: …and this summer when we’re at the beach with you and G-Daddy and his boat…
Necie: But G-Daddy doesn’t have a boat.
EK: He can just order one.

J, looking at a basketball mascot: His head is… not a regular head.

J writing his name… perfectly… but backwards.

J chatting with EK: Well, this day looks really old.
EK, knowingly: Yeah.

EK telling us about school: I do burping lessons with Rosalie at lunch. She’s the boss of burping.
Me and Hubby: *laughing and cannot function*

J, handing out silverware: EK is a big year old, so she gets a big one.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! I hope you enjoy the funnies!

EK: He made your soup so fast!
J: No…
EK: Yes he did!
J: No… he made it quickly.

Me: One, two….?
D: …
Me: …
D: …
Me: Three! Four, five, six,
D, interrupting me: Seben!!!!!!!
Me: You got seven but not three?!

D, with a rolling pin inside his shirt: Mama look! I got a sword in my pocket!

Hubby: Here’s some falafel for you!
J: This isn’t waffles!

EK: And guess what?! We got lollipops! J got strawberry and I got watermelon and D got… he got green bean.
Me: I think it’s green apple…

I had asked EK to run a bath, and she came back up shouting: Mom! The light has run out of power in there!

EK referring to hand, foot, mouth: …and we all had footprints.

D about pterodactyls: I need da carrot-dactyl!

A few one-liners this week, eh? What are your kiddos saying these days? Or shall I say “saying improperly” these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, and happy New Year! In honor of the first Tuesday of 2018, I’ve got a few really funny ones. Enjoy!

EK: Are you gonna have another baby?
Me: What makes you ask that?
EK: I just was thinking if you had four babies. Wait! What if you had a hundred and five babies?!?!
J: Phew. That’s a lot of babies to feed.
Me: My thoughts exactly.

J waking up on his birthday: Is it today?!
Me: Yes! Today you’re four!
J: Well, my hands still look three.

EK got a ballerina Barbie and a Wonder Woman doll at Christmas. I overheard her ask her cousin: Hey! Do you want to play super heroes save the ballerinas?

J: Do you know where my Iron Man is?
Me: No, buddy, I’m sorry.
J, cool as a cucumber: Oh well. Toys get lost very easily.

J with the charm: You sound like you’re stupid but I still love you, EK.

Clutching a dinosaur he put together, J: This dinosaur is my only friend.

D, on night three of a big boy bed: Okay, lay down!
Me: Yes, time to lay down. Good night, and I love you! (I head to close the door)D: Lub you, Mama. Good niiiiiiiight! (Out like a light 2 minutes later.)

J: Now that I’m four, I’m fifteen big!

D, while eating carrots: Carrots are like volcano!
Me: Mmm… yeahhhh… of course.

Have your kids had any funnies you can share?!

Things Toddlers Say

It’s mostly Tuesday (oops) and I hope you enjoy our funnies!!

EK: I watered that plant so it would get back to nermal. It looks all sad like this.

Hubby was holding this shrimp:D ran up to him, demanding: Give me that bacon!

D to his dump truck: Wait! Wait! I lub you!

D handing me two items I don’t even know the name of: Look! I got two one of these!

J: I was licking your face!
Me: Ugh. I know.

J: Know how you make a lollipop? You take a white stick, put gum on it, sweeten it up, pump it up, and it’s a lollipop!

Passing by the first house with Christmas lights this season…
J: Now THAT was a glowing house!

D upon finishing breakfast: Mom! My all done!

D when he wants to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar: I want to read the lollihop!

And this thing in EK’s room needs no caption…

J, coming upstairs after bedtime: Can you carry me down to my room?
Hubby: No, you walked up, so you can walk down.
J: But when I was walking up, I cra(*takes a breath*)ashed so that’s why I can’t walk up or down.

J, asking about his fortune cookie: Hey, what does my tag spay-ell (spell)?

J: Guess who I love?!
Hubby: Who?
J: He’s gotta big, squashy nose!
Hubby: It’s me, isn’t it?

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! It’s Thanksgiving week, and we are ready to binge eat – how about you?! I hope you enjoy these funnies and have a great Turkey Day!

EK, standing between Hubby and me: Hug? Hug? Cuddle Huddle!

D handed me this (below), saying: Here’s a new book!(Hubby and I got a Vitamix for our Christmas present and this manual is still in the shrink wrap, hence it’s “new”.)

EK, shouting angrily to J: I get the purple, because purple is my favorite color! And you get the green because green is your favorite color! Agh!

EK was helping me sweep the floor.
J: EK! Come check out this spider web!
EK: I can’t right now. I’m really busy helping mom.
J: Come on, come see it under here!
EK: I know we’re best friends but I just can’t right now.

J, excitedly pointing to the toilet: Mom! Look how many pee bubbles there are!

EK, reading over my shoulder: You! Y-o-u! I saw it! My! The! No! I know those!

J: My nose is snotty. I’m sick. Do I have school today?
Me: You really fast-forwarded that sequence there.

D, while I’m holding him already: Moooooom, I wan’ ‘nuggle!!

I love recording little conversations between my older two kids, like the one at the top. Their relationship is getting more developed every day. What about you? What are your kids saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Our kids are excited to trick-or-treat for the first time tonight! Last year, you might remember… we were all sick, and so we missed out. They can’t wait to get a bunch of candy! And I can’t wait to take a candy tax. Bottle caps are MINE. Here are the funnies for the week!

EK: We haven’t watched Mary Poppins in a while!
J: What’s that one?
EK: It’s like, “A spoon of medicine, a spoon of medicine,” like that. “Helps the honey go down…”
Me: Nailed it.

EK: I think kindergarten schools give fall breaks because they know all the kids in the building can’t see their parents as often.

EK: Did you know that when it’s dark, your eye pukes are big, and when it’s bright your eye yokes are super small?
Hubby: I think the word you’re looking for is pupil. Can you say pupil?
EK: So yeah, at night your pukers are big. And small in the morning!

D: Joooooooe! He got a lollyhop!

J: Daddy and Gon Gon’s sandals looks the same!
EK: Yeah! They look similar!
J: They don’t look similar!
EK:  Yeah, but Chinese and Japanese look similar.

J: Knock knock!
Me: Who’s there?
J: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting co…..
D: Moooooooooo!
Me: Whelp he stole your joke.

EK: Two and two is five.
Me: It’s actually four. (I hold up my fingers and show her)
EK: Well, one and one is three!
Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this while I make breakfast.

Most annoying thing of the week: EK and D dressed as pirates for the fall festival at our church last Friday. I had a pirate costume for J also, but he pitched a fit to dress as the dog he’s been a couple of years in a row (that’s getting too small). Instead of fight, I let him wear it. Now that it’s Halloween today, he’s all excited to be the pirate… but the other two are on to their other costumes. Oh well.