Tag Archives: kids say the darnedest things

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! Here are a few summer funnies for you – enjoy!img_1147

EK, doing a “medical procedure”: What’s your name?
J: Um, *says my dad’s full name*
Me: *laughs and also wonders why he knows my dad’s full name*

Summertime potty training:
Me: Do you need to use the potty?
D: No, I need to use da treeeeeee!
Me: *face palm*

A redundant argument between J and EK, where they both just shout: STOP COPYUING (no typo, lol) ME!

Me after J had gotten hurt: You’re a trooper, babe.
J: I’m a storm trooper!

J, above, looking through the “scopa-tella” (telescope)

D’s name-calling trump card: Toolet face!

Me: If we do some chores and clean our rooms, maybe then we can head to the pool!
EK: Well let’s get this party started!

Brother stuff:
D: You wanna pee on the tree?!
J: Sure, sure, sure! That sounds amazing!

J’s new song: My God made the bushes, and I love God and I love trees and bushes!

What are your kids saying these days? How are they making you laugh?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! I hope you’re all enjoying lovely weather, despite some random storms, and getting excited for school to end! Here are our funnies from the week! Enjoy!

J, tooting.
Me: Are you tooting?
J: Yeah, but these aren’t pooping toots.
Me: Pooping toots?
J: Yeah, pooping toots are the smelly kind, and these aren’t smelly.

EK, describing losing her most recent tooth: I was really scared. Like, it was FLOWING with blood. Like throwing up blood.

EK leaving a party very sadly: No one even took my picture!

D: I need da vita-dins! (Vitamins)

D: Do it againt! Five, six, sevent! Can I have a lemont? (Always adding a t)

J: Did you know that if that red car with the letters spelled Dough Joe’s (our local fav donuts) I would be overflowing with magic?!

I hand D a smoothie.
J: Mom! Keep an eye on! Don’t let him spill!

D, talking about the DVD menu: Mooooom! Iss ‘tuck on the men-ee-u!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! It is HOT here in NC – like we have skipped spring (except for all that pollen) and gone straight to summer vibes. Here are the funnies from this week! Enjoy 🙂img_1147

D is standing on one foot in his chair at the table.
Me: Is that safe?
D: No.
Me: Could you sit down and eat?
J: I can’t believe he can stand on one foot! That’s a very talented boy, Davis!
Me: *face palm*

J at EK’s school play: I’m having the best day of my entire life with these little children singing to me!

EK negotiating: ….but most of all, ME!

J: Did you know that the earth is bouncier than the bed?!
Me: I did NOT know that!
J: I’m just joking!
Me: Oh! Okay then. You know what really is bouncier than abed?
J: What?
Me: A trampoline!
J: And a pobo stick! Can you get me a pobo stick when I’m 7?

I ran a half marathon this past weekend, and I just referred to it as “my race”. At least 30 times Saturday afternoon, EK asked, “Did you win your race?”

Me: Where are you in Harry Potter?
Necie: Snape just killed Dumbledore.
J: A snake didn’t kill our overboard, we just lost outta power.
Me: ….huh?

J, remembering his ear infection: Did you know that the most hurting of ache is an earache?

J is snuggling my grandma, leaning on her arm…
Nana: We’ve gotta move a little bit. My arm hurts.
J: Is it because of my strength?

D at breakfast: I want da mashalellows! Mashalellows! (Marshmallows. It’s what’s for breakfast.)

What’s something silly your kids have said recently?! Share in the comments!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! The pickin’s are a little slim this week, but let’s just say it’s because I’ve been more “in the moment” and not because I’ve been horrible at writing things down. Okay? Okay. Enjoy the ones I’ve got!

D: I went to da docker (doctor).
Me: Oh really? What did he say?
D: My name. My brown name.
Me: …oh…

EK: I’m really smart. I can do a puzzle in one minute or ten.

J, standing still against the wall: I look just like a picture!

D, having unbuttoned his whole shirt: Mama, my shirt is broken!

Me, post-workout: My butt is so sore!
J: That’s because you’re sitting on my foot!
Me: …….

J, telling me something I absolutely already know and probably told him myself: Mom! Did you know that…. (fill in the rest with a fact everyone knows)?!?!?!

What are your kids saying these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I hope you enjoy these funnies each week… share them with a friend!!

J: I want to go to Yew Nork City!
EK: New York City.
J: That’s what I said!

EK, after spending a day with my college friends: Mom, this was the best girls day EVER!

J, when he bumped his head: My brain hurts.

D: Good morning! Can I haf pizza?

J talking about his brother splashing in the bath: …and the water was like a rough, unforgiving sea.
Me: 😳

D: I need a coin dong. (Corn dog.)

Misnomers…
D eating mangoes: I love dees peaches!

What are your kids saying these days?! I can’t wait to hear!!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! It’s raining and dreary here – maybe these funnies will bring a little sunshine!

EK, telling me a story: …and then in a couple whiles….

D, randomly: I got a mushroom head!

EK, playing a game with the boys: Don’t move, but you can breathe and blink.

J, climbing in my lap: Can I have a snuggle me-luggle?

Me: Are you going to use the potty?
D: Yeah! I’m gonna put my BUTT in there!

J: Did you hear what type of toot that was?!
Me: ….what type?
J: Almost like I spit! *makes that sound with his mouth*

J, playing the piano: You know what I’m saying with my music? That I’m a miracle.
Me: *weeps*

D: I wanna go to da oceans.
Me: Me too, bud. Me too.
D: We gotta get our sandals. Dazzat sound good?

D, after he’d been snuggling me and telling me he loved me: I love you again.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! Last week I was on vacation and allowed myself to NOT EVEN POST ANYTHING. So enjoy a couple of weeks’ worth of Crazy Things My Kids Say.

J: Did you know that sometimes when you potty, you can stand up? And then you face away from the potty and poop out.

J: Home is a better airport.

J, about 20 mins away from home: Did you know we’re so close to DisneyWorld?!

Hubby: We’re only about a 12 hours drive away.
J: I can count to 12!
Hubby: Reeeeeeeal slow.

Seeing the Charlotte skyline…
Me: Do you guys see that big building up ahead?
J: The one that looks like a giant big banana?!

EK: I want to be a baker!
Our friend Marie: Well bakers get up really early, like midnight, and work all the way until morning.
EK: I did not know that so I think I won’t.

EK: Hey! Watch out! I’m going on a big dump!
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Hubby: What?
EK: I’m going on a dump!
(Obvi she means pooping, in case we’ve gotten too G-rated in here)

J: I love you to the moon and back! And all the way around DisneyWorld!!

J, after riding in the car for a few hours: When I try to sit up, my booty hurts.
Me: From sitting on it so long? I’m sorry; we’ll stop soon.
J: I think there’s a swordfish back there, poking it.

Too much Disney movie watching…
Me: You’re trying my patience.
J: Like Mowgli is trying Sher-khan’s patience?

Me: You disobeyed me.
J: Like Simba disobeyed Mufasa?

Well, what are your kids saying these days? Let me hear the sillies!