Tag Archives: kids say the darnedest things

Things Toddlers Say

It’s mostly Tuesday (oops) and I hope you enjoy our funnies!!

EK: I watered that plant so it would get back to nermal. It looks all sad like this.

Hubby was holding this shrimp:D ran up to him, demanding: Give me that bacon!

D to his dump truck: Wait! Wait! I lub you!

D handing me two items I don’t even know the name of: Look! I got two one of these!

J: I was licking your face!
Me: Ugh. I know.

J: Know how you make a lollipop? You take a white stick, put gum on it, sweeten it up, pump it up, and it’s a lollipop!

Passing by the first house with Christmas lights this season…
J: Now THAT was a glowing house!

D upon finishing breakfast: Mom! My all done!

D when he wants to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar: I want to read the lollihop!

And this thing in EK’s room needs no caption…

J, coming upstairs after bedtime: Can you carry me down to my room?
Hubby: No, you walked up, so you can walk down.
J: But when I was walking up, I cra(*takes a breath*)ashed so that’s why I can’t walk up or down.

J, asking about his fortune cookie: Hey, what does my tag spay-ell (spell)?

J: Guess who I love?!
Hubby: Who?
J: He’s gotta big, squashy nose!
Hubby: It’s me, isn’t it?

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! It’s Thanksgiving week, and we are ready to binge eat – how about you?! I hope you enjoy these funnies and have a great Turkey Day!

EK, standing between Hubby and me: Hug? Hug? Cuddle Huddle!

D handed me this (below), saying: Here’s a new book!(Hubby and I got a Vitamix for our Christmas present and this manual is still in the shrink wrap, hence it’s “new”.)

EK, shouting angrily to J: I get the purple, because purple is my favorite color! And you get the green because green is your favorite color! Agh!

EK was helping me sweep the floor.
J: EK! Come check out this spider web!
EK: I can’t right now. I’m really busy helping mom.
J: Come on, come see it under here!
EK: I know we’re best friends but I just can’t right now.

J, excitedly pointing to the toilet: Mom! Look how many pee bubbles there are!

EK, reading over my shoulder: You! Y-o-u! I saw it! My! The! No! I know those!

J: My nose is snotty. I’m sick. Do I have school today?
Me: You really fast-forwarded that sequence there.

D, while I’m holding him already: Moooooom, I wan’ ‘nuggle!!

I love recording little conversations between my older two kids, like the one at the top. Their relationship is getting more developed every day. What about you? What are your kids saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Our kids are excited to trick-or-treat for the first time tonight! Last year, you might remember… we were all sick, and so we missed out. They can’t wait to get a bunch of candy! And I can’t wait to take a candy tax. Bottle caps are MINE. Here are the funnies for the week!

EK: We haven’t watched Mary Poppins in a while!
J: What’s that one?
EK: It’s like, “A spoon of medicine, a spoon of medicine,” like that. “Helps the honey go down…”
Me: Nailed it.

EK: I think kindergarten schools give fall breaks because they know all the kids in the building can’t see their parents as often.

EK: Did you know that when it’s dark, your eye pukes are big, and when it’s bright your eye yokes are super small?
Hubby: I think the word you’re looking for is pupil. Can you say pupil?
EK: So yeah, at night your pukers are big. And small in the morning!

D: Joooooooe! He got a lollyhop!

J: Daddy and Gon Gon’s sandals looks the same!
EK: Yeah! They look similar!
J: They don’t look similar!
EK:  Yeah, but Chinese and Japanese look similar.

J: Knock knock!
Me: Who’s there?
J: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting co…..
D: Moooooooooo!
Me: Whelp he stole your joke.

EK: Two and two is five.
Me: It’s actually four. (I hold up my fingers and show her)
EK: Well, one and one is three!
Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this while I make breakfast.

Most annoying thing of the week: EK and D dressed as pirates for the fall festival at our church last Friday. I had a pirate costume for J also, but he pitched a fit to dress as the dog he’s been a couple of years in a row (that’s getting too small). Instead of fight, I let him wear it. Now that it’s Halloween today, he’s all excited to be the pirate… but the other two are on to their other costumes. Oh well. 

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Does it feel like fall where you are? NC had some serious rain yesterday, but the rest of this week will make up for it! Here are the funnies for the week!


EK, putting a play blood pressure cuff on my arm: Oh no! You’re 29/61 miles strong!

J, right after he woke up: I can’t walk. I can’t breathe. I can’t even walk!
Spoiler: He was both walking and breathing at the time.

D: I want a I love!
Me: What?
D: I want a I love!
Me: Oh. An olive.

Friend: Do you know when your birthday is?
J: Some days it’s after Christmas.

EK was trying to spell out aloud a letter she wrote me (with help) by saying the letters from each word all in a row, with no pauses. She got through a sentence or so (that I managed to follow, surprisingly) and then J shut her down: Okay, that’s all the letters you have to say.

J: You guys are special to me. And we’re special to God.
Everyone: Aww!

EK sneezed and had some snot come out. J responded with: Well, that was a disaster.

Me: Can you blow them a kiss?
D, blowing a kiss with the hand no holding his cup: Mmmmmah! (Pause) Wait! Other hand! Mmmmmah!

EK on the policy about library books at school: Two, if you buy three, you can’t bring the fifth one home.

What are your kids saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday!! I’ve been bouncing back and forth from the mountains to furniture market, so here are the snippets of humor I caught in between!! Enjoy!


J sharing knowledge: Have you ever seen a hamomy fish? It’s the most juiciest, colorfulest, and wettest fish of all time! And it can also change it size! And make apple trees!
Me: *not sure how to respond*

J when he’s mad at me: Well, maybe I don’t even want to snuggle you.

EK to me: You’re funny sometimes. Not a lot, but sometimes.

EK, upon seeing a cement truck printed with Stars and Stripes: its American day?! I didn’t know!

EK: It’s not good if you get colonies in your teeth.
Me: I think you mean cavities.

J’s newest thing is telling stories of when he was a baby. Such as: Did you know that when I was a baby, a tiny bear and a crawled up the back of my head?!?!

Me: Did you have fun with Necie and G-Daddy while I was gone?
EK: Yeah I did, but not too much, because I missed you.
Me: *heart eyes*

EK copying words from a book: I’m practicing my writing.
Me: That’s great! I can tell. Your letters are getting more clear!
EK: Yeah, and I’m building up my stamila.
Me: Your stamina?! Who taught you that word?!
EK: My teacher. (As in “Duh.”)

J, when asked to place napkins on the table:  I do that job at school for lots of different persons!

EK: Sometimes when you wake up, do your lips feel crunchy?

Hubby: Tell mom about your field trip!
EK: So, like… (I can’t hear anything else because I’m wondering how she learned “so like”.)

Well, that’s it for this week! What sillies have you heard from your kids recently?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! Here are the funnies for your perusal and enjoyment!

D’s new thing is holding something on his head and declaring it a hat.
D: I got a grape hat!
J: Praise the Lord! I have a hand hat!

EK: Well the dinosaurs are instinct. (Pronounced with the emphasis on “stinct” like you would when saying “extinct”.)
J: What?!
EK: Yeah, they’re dead. Which is called instinct.
Me: I think you mean EXtinct.

D, covered in noodles: I got da noodle blacelet!

J about his lunch: Not too bad, and not too good.

D was sick for a couple days last week. He also did this, and ruined this batch of muffins…

EK: It’s Friyay!
Me: Did you just say Friyay?
EK: Yeah! And when you say Friyay you gotta raise the roof!

D, holding up a few fingers: How many dis rainbow?

Nate: Have you lost any teeth?
EK: Yeah, two.
Nate: How was it?
EK: Pretty fun. (She basically said “whatever”)

When asked what he wanted to be for Halloween…
J: A pumpkin! A stack of pumpkins!

What are your kids asking to be for Halloween?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, everyone! We all need a little humor, so here it is! Enjoy!

Hubby: When is Halloween? Do you remember?
EK: No.
Me: The last day of….. October!
EK: Yeah! Foctober! (I guess the “of” ran into the October…)
Hubby and me: *awkward glance*

D, shouting at the table: Take a poop! *looks to see who heard*
Me: *pretending I didn’t hear*
D, dejectedly: Don’t say poop.

J, when I rolled the car windows down because it was 70 degrees: Stop it! You’re making me cold!

J: Did you know there was a giant in that movie I want to watch all the time?! Its legs are like big tree trunks!

Watching a Disney movie and it’s the opening shot of the shooting star over Disneyland…
EK: It’s Disney world!
J: *gasp* My favorite place to go!

EK referring to Siri: Mom, push your serious button!

J’s opening line to our dinner guest: Guess what! I woke up sweaty.

EK: The eclipse is the best part of the whole earth!
Me: You haven’t even seen the whole earth! How can you say that?
EK: Well, I’ve seen all the buildings.
Me: You haven’t seen all the buildings.
J, declaring what’s important: Some of the buildings are ice cream shops!

J after completing a puzzle on his own: Mom! Look! I have a cool and confident surprise for you!

I love it when my kiddos use big words. What are your kids saying these days? Comment and tell me a funny thing you’ve heard recently!