Tag Archives: random

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

March 27, 2018 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I know it’s Tuesday evening, but it’s still Tuesday! Here are the funnies our kids have been giggling about this week – leave a comment and let me know what silly stuff your kids say!

J: Did you know I taught myself that bees make honey? I taught myself that!

EK, pretending: Do you want the eggs and steak or pancakes?
Me: Hmm… steak and eggs!
EK: The $1 or $100?
Me: I’ll spring for the $100!
EK: But that’s really expensive!
Me: But we’re pretending, right?

D, when he first woke up: I want to sit wif my blanket and watch Wall•e and Cars and Star Wars!
Me: I’ve taught you the perfect day.

J, carefully bringing me my half-full mug of tea: It’ll be a ‘saster (disaster) if I go fast!

J: When my two birthday comes, can I have the party at a Christmas gelato place?
(His birthday is at the end of December and he will be 5, just fyi.)

Hubby hands a milkshake to J. Wait a beat.
J: Uh, Mister! This milkshake is great!

J, randomly: I feel so ingenious!

D, wandering around the house: Where is J? I lost him!

D, handing me a belt: Hey! You want dis type of thing?

J, stretching his hand up: I’m just reaching for Jesus.

Talking about winking…
J: Did you know that pirates look like they’re w bling forever?! Because of their eye patch?!

Me: That was a big hiccup!
J: That wasn’t a hiccup- it was a burp!
Me: Was it a hiccup and a burp combined?!
J: No, it was a hiccup and a burp all mixed up together!
Me: Oh, okay.

Don’t forget to share what hilarious things your kids say!!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

January 2, 2018 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, and happy New Year! In honor of the first Tuesday of 2018, I’ve got a few really funny ones. Enjoy!

EK: Are you gonna have another baby?
Me: What makes you ask that?
EK: I just was thinking if you had four babies. Wait! What if you had a hundred and five babies?!?!
J: Phew. That’s a lot of babies to feed.
Me: My thoughts exactly.

J waking up on his birthday: Is it today?!
Me: Yes! Today you’re four!
J: Well, my hands still look three.

EK got a ballerina Barbie and a Wonder Woman doll at Christmas. I overheard her ask her cousin: Hey! Do you want to play super heroes save the ballerinas?

J: Do you know where my Iron Man is?
Me: No, buddy, I’m sorry.
J, cool as a cucumber: Oh well. Toys get lost very easily.

J with the charm: You sound like you’re stupid but I still love you, EK.

Clutching a dinosaur he put together, J: This dinosaur is my only friend.

D, on night three of a big boy bed: Okay, lay down!
Me: Yes, time to lay down. Good night, and I love you! (I head to close the door)D: Lub you, Mama. Good niiiiiiiight! (Out like a light 2 minutes later.)

J: Now that I’m four, I’m fifteen big!

D, while eating carrots: Carrots are like volcano!
Me: Mmm… yeahhhh… of course.

Have your kids had any funnies you can share?!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

October 31, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Our kids are excited to trick-or-treat for the first time tonight! Last year, you might remember… we were all sick, and so we missed out. They can’t wait to get a bunch of candy! And I can’t wait to take a candy tax. Bottle caps are MINE. Here are the funnies for the week!

EK: We haven’t watched Mary Poppins in a while!
J: What’s that one?
EK: It’s like, “A spoon of medicine, a spoon of medicine,” like that. “Helps the honey go down…”
Me: Nailed it.

EK: I think kindergarten schools give fall breaks because they know all the kids in the building can’t see their parents as often.

EK: Did you know that when it’s dark, your eye pukes are big, and when it’s bright your eye yokes are super small?
Hubby: I think the word you’re looking for is pupil. Can you say pupil?
EK: So yeah, at night your pukers are big. And small in the morning!

D: Joooooooe! He got a lollyhop!

J: Daddy and Gon Gon’s sandals looks the same!
EK: Yeah! They look similar!
J: They don’t look similar!
EK: Yeah, but Chinese and Japanese look similar.

J: Knock knock!
Me: Who’s there?
J: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting co…..
D: Moooooooooo!
Me: Whelp he stole your joke.

EK: Two and two is five.
Me: It’s actually four. (I hold up my fingers and show her)
EK: Well, one and one is three!
Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this while I make breakfast.

Most annoying thing of the week: EK and D dressed as pirates for the fall festival at our church last Friday. I had a pirate costume for J also, but he pitched a fit to dress as the dog he’s been a couple of years in a row (that’s getting too small). Instead of fight, I let him wear it. Now that it’s Halloween today, he’s all excited to be the pirate… but the other two are on to their other costumes. Oh well.

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

July 25, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Hellooooooo Tuesday! Last week was blissfully spent with very little social media and very much sunshine and sand… and now that I’m back, I didn’t write quite everything down. But I’ve got a few little nuggets of Toddler Truth for you. Enjoy!

Talking about the dentist… and changing minds…
J: I don’t really want to go.
EK: Well the last time I was there I got a new toothbrush and could pick my toothpaste!
J: Well I guess I could do that.
EK: Mom! J just changed his mind about he dentist! He said he didn’t want to go but now he’s kind of incited! He changed his mind! You know, the whole world can change sometimes.
Me: That got serious quickly.

My mom: Listen! It’s so cute the way he says this! J, what color is this?
J: Toyquoise. It’s light blue.

J, as we passed a bread truck, covered in pictures of different sweet breads: Is that a special treat truck? Can we go where it’s going?

Our babysitter: While you were at the beach, did you eat some seafood?
EK: Yeah, but I didn’t like the seafood. But they had hush puppies, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, they’re dying me!” And then I said, “I’m going to eat all that stuff!”
And me, overhearing it from the other room, dying laughing.

I’ve listened to EK say mermaid incorrectly for a long time now, and I finally realized what she was saying: mername.

J, watching the first 30 seconds of A Bug’s Life: This is my bothest part! My favoritest! I’m gonna die about this part!

D, asking for more noodles: Doddles! Doddles, peez! Mo’ doddles peez, mama!

J in his car seat: Ugh a bug! Shoo shoo shoo! You’re making me stupid, bug!

J and D’s new favorite song: “Trust In Me” from (the old cartoon movie) The Jungle Book. You know, the song that Kaa the snake sings? So J is into slithering around, singing, “Trusssssssssst in meeeeeee….”

J, when he knows he’s in trouble: When we get home, could I play for just a little bit tad?

Well what are your kids saying? Do they have songs they sing or things they quote that are funny?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

July 18, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Vacation isn’t stopping my kids from saying hilarious things, so here is a sampling of the things I’ve heard this week! Enjoy!

EK to our babysitter: I’m going to make your hair look exotic!

J: Mama, when I get up, can we do that thing we did the other day?
Me: Yeah, babe. What thing?
J: I don’t remember.

Heard from the back seat…
J: EK, we’re not playing that panties game!

EK at dinner: Did you know that bats use listening and feeling and snelling (no typo) to find their way around ’cause they can’t see?
Everyone: Oh wow! Cool! No way!
EK: Yeah, that’s how I get to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Listening, feeling, and snelling.

EK, randomly: Mom, I want to join a bunch of kids. I want to work on my soccers.

EK, randomly mimicking the self-check out: Thank you for shopping at Lowe’s Foods!

D: *crying in the car at 9:00am*
EK: Why don’t you go to sleep, D? You’ll do less crying that way.
Me: He’s not even been awake a full hour, sweetie.

EK, with a bag full of sandy seashells: These are sorry shells for D. Because he wasn’t feeling good.

J, to EK, while brushing their teeth: Don’t just eat it like a lollipop!

There you have it: Things I Couldn’t Make Up If I Tried. What are your kids surprising you with these days?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

July 11, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday everyone! We’ve just completed a day full of yard work, and I’m feeling great about a little spruce up in our back yard. The kiddos are at preschool summer camp this week in the mornings, so we’ve been fairly productive with the two mornings we’ve had without them.

Here are a few funnies from the past week – hope you enjoy them!

That picture up there is an example of what EK asked the face painter at a birthday party to do. It’s a sunset with palm trees. In case you’re wondering.

EK: Will cherry juice stain your clothes?
Hubby: Yes
EK: Will it clean off in the washer machine?
Hubby: Maybe, but it’s extra work, and it still might not come off.
EK: Maybe you’ll just have to deal about it. Like my mom tells me when my toys break.
Hubby: *silence*

D, pointing at the TV: Mana! Mana!
Hubby: You want to watch Mary Poppins?
D: Mana! Mana! MANA!
Hubby: OH! Moana… You want to watch Moana?
D: Yeah!

J: My booboo’s getting very reddish and I need a bandaid!

EK, calling me out: Why do you always put your eyescara on in the car?

EK with some wisdom: I think you had me first, because you needed help, because D and J are hard.

J, stomping into our bedroom at 10pm: I just want to snuggle you!
Me: *giggling*
J: Laugh quietly because the baby is sleeping!

EK, when the three kids and I are all in the car: Where’s daddy?
Me: He’s at home.
EK: I bet he’s sad because he’s got no one to talk to.
Me: It sounds like you don’t know he’s an introvert.

What are your kiddos saying these days?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

July 5, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy holiday week, y’all! I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th – I know we did! We enjoyed some time in the mountains with friends (thank goodness for a little drop in temperature up there!) and are glad to be home today, which is why it’s Toddler Wednesday this week! Lots of funny one-liners this week from the kiddos. It’s like I always say: I can’t make this stuff up. Enjoy!

J: My daughter says I have Xian Yu (from Mulan) on my money!
Me: Where’d you get that money? And who is your daughter?

EK: Dad, will you sit on me? I mean carry me?

EK: Dad, if I wrestled on you, you’d, like, spank me in the face!

J to my Nana: Why are you so bumpy? (He meant the wrinkles)

EK, randomly: So do you just look around when you want to find a husband? You just, walk around? Till you find the one you want?

EK: I decided I don’t think I want my hair as long as Rapunzel’s. I want a little cut.
Me: Oh really? (That had been her mantra for ages.) How short do you want to cut it?
EK: I want it to be like Celia’s.
Me: Who is Celia?
EK: Celia, from Monsters, Inc.
Me: Oh, you want snakes for hair.

Toddler logic:
J: I’m hopping on one foot because I didn’t take a nap. And EK is walking on two feet because she took a great nap.

J, on roasted cauliflower: I am very hungry for dis.

J: Stop doing that!
Me: Stop doing what?
J: Stop doing nothing!

What silly things are your kids saying these days?! Leave a comment and tell me about it!

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

November 29, 2016 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I hope you guys had a nice time getting back to the real world this week. I know it’s been hard for me to find my productivity! It’s getting harder and harder to write things down as the kids say them – they’re so often in the middle of conversations or at a moment that it’s tough to write a note about how funny they are! But here are some funnies I did manage to write down. Enjoy!

J, literally all the time, with perfect inflection: Honey! Where’s my super suit?! (Quoting Frozone/Lucius from The Incredibles)

EK: Look, Mom! Matcheration! (Pointing to the photo below, meaning some sort of cross between matching and organization)

J, at 7:00am: IIIIII waaaant myyyyyy giiiiiingiiiiiin aaaaaale! (Odd time for ginger ale, I think.)

EK and J, angry screaming at each other across the house on Thanksgiving morning: “I’m thankful for you!” and “I’m thankful for you, too!”

EK, about our friends’ chocolate lab: Bella’s a good-looking dog, but man, is she big!

EK, doing something with Necie: G-Daddy! Will you come help your number one girl and your wife?!?!

EK: That’s canfastic! (Fantastic, I think.)

EK and J were practicing clearing their throats. J was clearing his with his mouth closed (hrm hrm, if I had to write it down) and EK was clearing hers with her mouth open (ahem). She kept saying, “No! That’s not they way!” until he did it with his mouth closed, and was able to make the ahem sound. Then she said, “Yeah! That’s the way!”

Me, conversationally, to Hubby: EK is really good at learning songs and lyrics.
EK: You’re still a teacher for me, Mom.
Me: *teacher heart melting*actual tears*

EK, early in the day: Mom, can I wear some of your lip gloss?
Me: This is actually lip stain and stays on for a long time, so I’ll get you some lip gloss.
J, later in the day: Mom, your lipstick looks good!
EK: It’s lip stain.
J: No it’s not! It’s lipstick!
Ek: It’s LIP STAIN!

A friend of ours at church was horsing around with EK, and said, in a fake mean voice, “What if I said you had to sit right here and be quiet?!” (EK knows he’s kidding, by the way.) J (who apparently didn’t know he was kidding) runs up, hits him on the back, and shouts, “Don’t talk to my sister like that!” (Sibling win.)

In the Starbucks drive-thru, J: We’re at Chickalay, Mom!
Me: We must go to Chick-fil-A a lot.

Hope you enjoyed these highlights! Do your kids argue about random stuff, too? PLEASE make me feel better, ha!

books, random thoughts

I fell.

September 20, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

The other day, I fell. I fell deep into an internet rabbit hole… of Harry Potter memes. It was so gloriously nerdy and incredibly entertaining that I decided I’d share the nerdgasms with y’all. I’ve scoured the internet and found some of my all-time favorite comical HP memes. Enjoy!

Because Malfoy is actually a scaredy-cat.