Tag Archives: humor

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! And a busy one it was for us! Enjoy these late-night funnies!img_1400

J: I did all these things without you even asking me!
Me: What a helpful boy! It’s like you can read my mind!
J: Yeah! I just close my eyes and it shows me what you’re thinking, and I can do it before you ask me!

Me: Does your mama love you?
D: Yeah!
Me: How much?!
D: Five!

Me: What shoes did you wear to school today?
D: Matching ones.
(I found out later that he didn’t mean two shoes that were matching, he meant the ones he has that are the same as J’s.)

Me: How old do y’all think Daddy is gonna be?
EK: Mmm… 21 or 23.
Me: Okay… J?
J: 2012!
Me: Okay, D, how old is Daddy gonna be?
D: Uhh… I don’t know….

To her friend we took home after school…
EK: If you’re thinking our car is clean, it’s NOT.

Me: Necie is coming next weekend, and she’s bringing her friend….
EK: Who?! Who is it?!
Me: Stacy!
EK: Ooh! I love Stacy! I miss her so much!
J: How do you know Stacy?
EK: I saw her at Shianne’s wedding. (Shi is my brother’s wife.)

While I’m reading EK’s book to her at bedtime…
EK: Hey mom! What if your last name was Whitney, and your first name was Whitney?! You’d be Whitney Whitney! *laughs hysterically*
Me: I’m really glad this book is so interesting.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! We’ve been moving things out of our bedroom to prepare for a master bedroom renovation (Hooray! The stuff of dreams!) so that’s why our living room looks like CRAZINESS with all the stuff from every closet in the way of our regular life. In fact, as I type this, Hubby is taking a load of stuff to the storage unit so we can go through it and get rid of some things. Easier to go through it while it’s NOT in our house, right?

Anyway, it’s Tuesday, so why you’re REALLY here is to hear about the funny things my kids have said. So here goes! Enjoy!

D finds this part of a guitar stand:Me: What’s that?
D: I dunno, but I’m gonna chase you with it!

I get in the car with a pizza…
J: mmm, I smell that pizza! Smells like roasted chicken and marshmallows!
Me: I’m not sure I’d like those things on a pizza.

J: I didn’t have a good day. It didn’t happen like I wanted.
Me: Aw, what did you want to happen?
J: I wanted to have rehearsal. (Aka to be at church for a while this evening)

D, telling me a story: A rainbow bad guy was running around there and slamming the door! And then an adult was coming! And that bad guy was like, “Ooooh!”

D, pointing to a large bank: That house is aMAsing!

J, point at Hubby’s glass: You didn’t even take a nibble out of your beer, Dad!

EK: Is J in kindergarten yet?
Me: No, did you think he would go into kindergarten without you knowing?
EK: He keeps many secrets from me.

What are your kids saying these days that’s silly or hilarious?! Please share – we love new funnies!

Things Toddlers Say

Hey folks! Did ya miss the funnies last Tuesday?! Hubby and I were on vacation *gasp!* without the children for almost five days, so I decided it was a good week to pass on posting. We enjoyed ourselves immensely and hopefully this week’s post is long enough to make up for it! Happy Tuesday and enjoy!

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Me: I have a special snack!
EK: What is it?!
Me: Mochi! (Japanese dessert of ice cream wrapped in sweet rice dough.)
EK: I can’t wait for that emoji!

D, pointing to the church offices: Whass in there?
Me: Offices where Mommy has meetings sometimes.
D: I want to have a meeting.
Me: Okay, I bet you will some time.
D: Maybe we can have a meeting in there, with Daddy and my brother and my sister!

Musicians’ kids…
EK: Can we go to the baseball studio?
Followed up by…
D: But I wanna go to Putt-Putt first.

Pulling into Chick-fil-A…
EK: Are we gonna pick it up or go in?
Hubby: Go in.
J: Go in?!!
EK: These are the best parents we could ever get!

EK: You know how the rain is happening?
J: How?
EK: The sun takes the water from the oceans and lakes and stuff, and sucks it right up into the clouds!
Me: She isn’t wrong.

Hubby: I’m gonna go get my leaf blower.
D: Yeah, Dad! Get your blow leafer!

J: Can we go to the movie theatre?
Me: Not today.
EK: But we really want to!
J: Yeah!
Me: Well, today just isn’t a good day, and right now your brother needs a nap.
J: Wait! I have an idea! Let’s just eat popcorn and watch a movie and watch a movie and eat popcorn!

A gem while we were out of town…
EK to my mother-in-law: I wish a had big bosoms like you and Mommy. How long do I have to wait?
MIL: How old are you?
EK: Six.
MIL: I promise in six more years or so you will have bosoms.

And one more we missed…
MIL: You are my very favorite Joe Joe in the whole wide world.
J, looking serious: Annie, you shouldn’t let EK hear you say that. It might hurt her feelings.

J, seeing his grandfather right before he would be gone for a week: Bye, Gon Gon! I’m going to miss you SO MUCH!

Hubby: What do you want for lunch?
D: Dumplings!
J: Chick-fil-A!
Hubby: *makes dumplings and CFA copycat nuggets*
J: *reaches and grabs a dumpling* Dumpling tax!
Me: They’re listening!

Well now, tell us what your kids are saying these days!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! Hope you enjoy these short and sweet funnies! img_0865

D: *scream-singing his bedtime songs*
Me: You’re being too crazy.
D: No, I’m being funny.

Me: Are you excited about your second day of school?
J: Yes, are you excited about my second day of school?
Me: I mean, yes but I’ll also. Miss you.
J: If only you were me, and I was still me, and you could come with me!

J: The more we nap, the stronger our powers!

D, snuggling next to J and EK for a movie: Thank you God for all dis family!

D, waking up in the morning: Mama, where’s Scottie? (She’s our babysitter, whom we haven’t seen in a couple of weeks, but he must have dreamed about her.)

J, seeing this:

What are all these signs with people sitting on toilets?!

EK: I’m still hungry!
Hubby: Why are you so hungry? You ate more than your brothers.
EK: I just went poop and went pee?

What are your kids saying these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday and first week of school here in NC! I’ve officially got a first grader! I’m glad you joined us for the sillies – enjoy!

D: Dad, will sing me a song?
Hubby: Mama, oooooh, didn’t mean to make you cry. If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on. Nothing really matters.
D: Dad?
Hubby: Yes?
D: It matters to me.

Hubby: Christmas is on December 25th, and three days later is the day that my first son was born.
J: That’s my birthday!
Hubby: Yep
J: …I was born on my birthday!?!?
Hubby: …yeah…

Me, celebrating: Guess who slept in their underwear and didn’t have an accident?!
EK: D?!?!
J: I think he’s ready for underwear now!
D: Yeah! I wear the underwear and J wears the diaper!

D telling me the news (while I was clothed, mind you): You don’t have a penis, mom.

Overheard from the other room…
J: Let’s go on a rampage!

J: *spits on EK’s leg*
EK: Ew! Did you see what he did?!
J: Now will you be so mad you’ll chase me around?!

J: I think when I grow up, I’m gonna marry a type of soup. Try to guess!
EK: Noodle soup!
J: How’d you guess?!

D, in a sixty-second span: I love running! *and* I love sitting.

D, holding up both hands: See?! I don’t have a hand!

Happy back to school, folks! See you next week!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks!!! Enjoy our last summertime funnies- it’s back to school next week!

Me, looking at J’s art: You are such a great artist! (To hubby) Did you see how great he did?!
J: I love it when you say that, Mom! Keep saying it! It makes me feel like the greatest artist ever!

D, seeing red spray painted lines on the grass: The grass is bleeeeeeeding!

J: I’m feeling a little drowsy in my nose.

EK has been sick, and J asked: Yeah, and remember that time I had the flute? (He meant flu, and no, he’s never had it.)

D and J were helping me cook, and D purposefully smeared food on J, who then said: Well, I guess you’ll have to eat me now.

J: That is not a playing bucket. That is a lego-holding bucket and he just keeps playing in it. Ugh.

J: Thank you, thank you, ever so thank you!

D, saying bedtime prayers: Dear God, thank you for casserole, da horses, and mud I jump in. And mama, in Jesus names, amen!

EK: I had a dream last night, and it was like a regular day except Dad was taking Oreos out of the oven and I was like, “Yummy! But they’re all melted!”

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, friends! It’s been a great week over at our house getting back into a little bit of normal, with a splash of Vacation Bible School, and EK going to FARM CAMP this week! So fun! Here are a few goodies for your enjoyment. Hope you laugh like I did!

Playing a game…
J: I’m on D’s team.
EK: There aren’t teams!
J: Yeah, there’s no such thing as friends.
Me: …..?

J, jumping from my headboard to my mattress: Canyonball!

EK, singing at VBS: This is better than Disney!

J, speaking truth: It is dumb hot out here.

D, wakes up from a nap super hard.
Me: Good morning!
D: ….yeah….

J, dressed in a winter coat and dragon wings: Feast your eyes on this!

D, pointing to the backyard: I saw a sheep, mom! Like a ghost!

EK, witnessing a glitter spill at VBS: This is wonderful!

D, praying at dinner: Dear God, thank you for dis family, for EK and J and mama and daddy and in God’s names, amen!
Me: *all the heart eyes*

EK, after attending one day of farm camp: Mom! Can we please, please, please make a farm?!?! I mean, we have the space for it….

Me, talking about something random: …a stupid lot. (Like, a lot a lot)
J: Why’d you say “stupid”?! You’re gonna go to jail!

Well, what are the funny things your kids have said recently? Let me know in the comments!