Tag Archives: humor

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I hope wherever you are, it’s not quite as cold as it is here… but I guess the groundhog did sentence us with six more weeks of winter, so who are we to be surprised? Here are your weekly funnies!

In the car, behind a garbage truck…
J: What’s that on the back of that truck?
Hubby: A trash compactor.
J: I wish our car had a trash compactor.

D: I wan’ bananassss!
Me: Okay. *peels banana and hands it to him*
*two minutes pass, no bites taken*
Me: *takes a bite*
D: You stealing my bananassss?!

D to my friend: Come on! Mobies and abocados!
Friend: You taking me on a date?!

J, arriving at the park as the rain starts: Uuugghhh. I told you it wasn’t a good day to go to the park.

J: I’ll just take one more bite.
Me: If you want dessert, you need to take about ten more bites.
J: How about 138?!
Me: Sounds perfect!

D’s new misnomers…
Heart=heark
Secret=seekit
Pink=pank

J, talking to a sick EK: Miss Emilie said at chapel dis morning dat God will heal the sickness away!
EK: Did you hear what he told me?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! In case you’re new here, each Tuesday I compile some of the hilarious or sweet or silly things my kids have said throughout the week, and let you in on it. Enjoy!

D, trying to use a toy screwdriver: I need help!
Necie (my mom): Here… (unscrews it with her fingers)
D: Thass amaaaaaazing!

J, unprompted in a moment of quiet: I can’t believe D is in a big boy bed.
Me: You sound like his parent.

EK making big plans: …and this summer when we’re at the beach with you and G-Daddy and his boat…
Necie: But G-Daddy doesn’t have a boat.
EK: He can just order one.

J, looking at a basketball mascot: His head is… not a regular head.

J writing his name… perfectly… but backwards.

J chatting with EK: Well, this day looks really old.
EK, knowingly: Yeah.

EK telling us about school: I do burping lessons with Rosalie at lunch. She’s the boss of burping.
Me and Hubby: *laughing and cannot function*

J, handing out silverware: EK is a big year old, so she gets a big one.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! I hope you enjoy the funnies!

EK: He made your soup so fast!
J: No…
EK: Yes he did!
J: No… he made it quickly.

Me: One, two….?
D: …
Me: …
D: …
Me: Three! Four, five, six,
D, interrupting me: Seben!!!!!!!
Me: You got seven but not three?!

D, with a rolling pin inside his shirt: Mama look! I got a sword in my pocket!

Hubby: Here’s some falafel for you!
J: This isn’t waffles!

EK: And guess what?! We got lollipops! J got strawberry and I got watermelon and D got… he got green bean.
Me: I think it’s green apple…

I had asked EK to run a bath, and she came back up shouting: Mom! The light has run out of power in there!

EK referring to hand, foot, mouth: …and we all had footprints.

D about pterodactyls: I need da carrot-dactyl!

A few one-liners this week, eh? What are your kiddos saying these days? Or shall I say “saying improperly” these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! If you live near me, you’re probably enjoying some beautiful weather today! I hope you’re getting your January allotment of Vitamin D! It just so happens that this is my 700th post published on my blog! That blows my mind. I can’t believe I’ve written that much, but I suppose after a few years, you just do. Anyway, here are the funnies!! Enjoy!

EK: You guys are the best family ever. Better than any family in the world!

EK to her sick dad: I know what you need! A nose rocket ship to go up there and make you unsick!
Hubby: If that was actually a thing, I’d let it in my nose.

EK, handing J a napkin: Here, use this.
J: I don’t need a napkin!
EK: What?! Look at the table!
J: *looks at drops of hot chocolate*
Ek: Yeah. You need it.

MK, our babysitter: What do you want for dinner?
D: Chocolate pizza!
MK: Well, pizza we can do.

D one morning: I want donuts! Chocolate donut! With spinkles in it. And a ‘poon.

J: *draws a spider web* Look Dad!
Hubby: You’re a good little spider.
J: I’m not a spider! My name’s Joseph and I make everything cool!

What are your kiddos saying these days?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, and happy New Year! In honor of the first Tuesday of 2018, I’ve got a few really funny ones. Enjoy!

EK: Are you gonna have another baby?
Me: What makes you ask that?
EK: I just was thinking if you had four babies. Wait! What if you had a hundred and five babies?!?!
J: Phew. That’s a lot of babies to feed.
Me: My thoughts exactly.

J waking up on his birthday: Is it today?!
Me: Yes! Today you’re four!
J: Well, my hands still look three.

EK got a ballerina Barbie and a Wonder Woman doll at Christmas. I overheard her ask her cousin: Hey! Do you want to play super heroes save the ballerinas?

J: Do you know where my Iron Man is?
Me: No, buddy, I’m sorry.
J, cool as a cucumber: Oh well. Toys get lost very easily.

J with the charm: You sound like you’re stupid but I still love you, EK.

Clutching a dinosaur he put together, J: This dinosaur is my only friend.

D, on night three of a big boy bed: Okay, lay down!
Me: Yes, time to lay down. Good night, and I love you! (I head to close the door)D: Lub you, Mama. Good niiiiiiiight! (Out like a light 2 minutes later.)

J: Now that I’m four, I’m fifteen big!

D, while eating carrots: Carrots are like volcano!
Me: Mmm… yeahhhh… of course.

Have your kids had any funnies you can share?!

Things Toddlers Say

Hello and happy Tuesday! I hope y’all had a great Christmas, and are enjoying family, leftovers and new gifts today! Here are a few of our funnies from this past week… I tried to be phone-less pretty often, so I missed a few I’m sure. Enjoy!

EK real talk: I can’t stop drinking lemonade! Sugar is one of my favorite things in the world! But I also like the juicy part of a cucumber.

EK, trying to convince me to let her spend the night at someone’s house: But it’ll be so easier for you and Daddy to only have two kids!

J: I wanna resolution!
Hubby: What’s a resolution?
J: When you say something really funny, and then just fall down on the bed!

J: EK, I’m gonna come kiss you because I love you!
EK: *gasp* Germs!

J: You know what I want for my birthday? Something yellow, yellow, with boy colors, yellow, a yellow, a yellow…
Me: A yellow what, bud?
J: A watch! Because I don’t have one! And one time, Daddy let me wear his for a moment.

After reuniting with some friends we hadn’t seen in a while, EK: There’s too much missing going on here.

D: I want a banana!
Nana: What animal eats bananas?
D: …
Nana: Monkeys! What does a monkey say?
D: OO-AH-OO-AH-AAAAAH!!!

EK meeting new friends: They probably want to play with me because of my half braid.

Hope you and yours had a merry Christmas!!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy 6 days till Christmas! We’re excited at our house – how about you? Have a wonderful, restful, joyful week and enjoy our funnies!

J: Look what I made!
EK: That looks terrible.
Me: *side eye*
EK: I mean that looks great! I forgot what I was gonna say.

EK, singing: I wanna be a pretty butterfly, yeah! I wanna be another pretty butterfly!

EK: A friend in my class already has a phone! She’s six! And only in kindergarten! She even knows how to use it!

EK when I woke her up in the morning: Can I just have a few minutes to wake up? Like Dad?

J and EK drinking hot chocolate…
EK: Let’s pretend this is coffee!
J: How’s your coffee, Whit? (He’s pretending he is hubby and EK is me.)

EK being very silly and flouncing in a tutu (knee-deep in a Nutcracker obsession): Look at my girlgeous (as in “gorgeous”) butt!

D is convinced that this pink bear is a pig:

Hubby getting called out…
J: That light was red but you didn’t stop.
Hubby: Back seat drivers.

What are you funnies? I want to hear the hilarious things YOUR kids say!