Tag Archives: things kids say

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday y’all! Who eclipsed around here?! The bigs and I wore our glasses and waited on the back porch for the sun to disappear… which it didn’t quite as much as I thought. But two funny things happened: I never could explain that the crescent was the sun and not the moon, and EK danced around for a hour shouting, “They’re disappearing!!!!!!” So there was that. Here are the rest of the funnies!

J: Can we go back and change D’s diaper?
Hubby: Why?
J: He pooped.
Hubby: How do you know?
J: Because he poops all the time.

J, explaining potty training to his cousin: You just point your hiney stick down toward the water and pee in the potty!

Me, to the kids: I’m sorry I was angry.
J: it’s okay, but your eyebrows are still pointed at your eyes.

EK: Did you just drop that (bok choy) in the floor?
Hubby: Yeah, I guess so. Silly me!
EK: Maybe you don’t know how to cook after all.


EK: That’s me and J on a horse and we went past a river, and past a waterfall, and then we were home!
Everyone: Literally none of us can draw as well as you can.

J, in a tattletale voice: J is hitting myself!
Me: Umm…

EK, putting on a new dress: It’s so soaky! (Silky)

Everyone’s new favorite saying: You’ve gotta be kidding me!
Everyone’s new favorite movie: Baby Boss (I literally haven’t watched it. They see it when Daddy’s on duty.)
D’s favorite new thing: No tanks. (As in response to any kind of food, sleep, or hygiene. Cool.)

Well that’s all there is today, folks! Enjoy your week!

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I hope your last bit of summer is relaxing, as ours will hopefully be over the next two weeks. We are all done traveling for a while, thank goodness. Here are the week’s funnies!img_3843

EK: When we get inside, do you want me to tell you about the helmet of the armor of God?
J: No, I don’t wear helmets.


D, pointing to the cockatoo: I wan’ toggle cockadoodle!

EK: When I get to kindergarten, I gotta stop doing baby things, do my ABCs (she’s ticking these items off on her fingers as she lists), be nice to my brothers, do what I’m supposed to do… then I’ll be doing the kindergarten thing.
Me: You sure will!

D, about five times in a row, holding his hand out: Too so! Too so! Too so!
Me, finally figuring it out: Too slow! Oh!
He wanted to play the high five game: up high, down low, in the middle, too slow!

Watching Star Wars Episode II, and I’m reading the beginning aloud…
Me: …mysterious Count Dooku…
J: *snickering*
Me: …to help the overwhelmed Jedi…
J: Well that was a lot of words.

EK, trying to tell me about Amidala: I love Queen Mazilla.

EK: I shared my blueberries with J!
J: Yeah! I asked her for some and she thinked about it, and den she said yes!

D runs up in a hat…
J: Looks like pirate D is here.

EK planned Hubby and me a “date” and then asked us to dress appropriately (aka gave us heels and a tie, respectively).Then she took J on that same date.

EK: Can we stay up till bednight?
Me: Do you mean midnight?
J: There’s many scary creatures at the midnight in the darkness… like the uglyfish. And a stinky sock! And like a shrimp!

The other night, D spent five minutes holding up different colors blocks and shouting: “Mooooom! Mooooom! Blue? Mooooom! Mooooom! Geen?” (And so on.)
Then earlier today, he spent 5 minutes sitting still on his tricycle as I tried to read my book, screaming, “Moooooom!” until I looked at him. I’ve come to the conclusion he needs a lot of affirmation right now.

Well, what are you kids saying these days??

Things Toddlers Say 

Hello, Tuesday! We’ve had an awesome week of vacation, being separated from our technology most of the time, hands and feet turning all pruny in Lake Norman. Today it’s back to reality, but here are a few of the things I managed to write down this week. Enjoy!

J, matter-of-factly : I just like calling my cousin “bro”.

J: I made a telescope! (a bunch of square magnets with holes in the middle all in a row)
Hubby: How far can you see?
J: I can see all the way to the clock. And you can’t see anything without it but I can see really far with it.
Me: At least he has the right idea what a telescope is?

D: *kisses J*
J: He’s giving me love kisses! I’m getting covered in love kisses!

J: I’ll make you a rainbow out of these blocks. You just make sure they don’t match and that’s how you make a rainbow.
Me: Yeah, that’s almost it.

D’s new words:
tuggle=snuggle
woe-woe=yellow
Pickey Moss=Mickey Mouse

J: Gon Gon (his grandad) I have something important to telled you. Your food is really good.

EK: I don’t like it when people jump on my bed.

Me: Then why do you jump on your bed?

J: Mama, daddy, do you speak Chinese?

Me: Ni hao ma? (Which means “how are you?”)

J: Ne hsu ma hsu hsu ma ma eeeeeee! Chineeeeeeeese!

EK, bringing me an envelope: Mama, can I open this antelope?

J’s new thing is repetition games. Such as: when he’s putting on his clothes, he holds up each item, “Is this my shirt? Is this my pants? Is this my socks?” until we’ve affirmed each item with its correct name. Or he will hold up some blocks, one by one, “Is this a square? Is this a square? Is this a square?!” with increasing excitement each time. This morning it was doing several different actions/sounds and asking, “Is this loud? Is this loud?”

What silly or weird things do your kids do?

Things Toddlers Say 

Hi there! I hope everyone has had a great week! I can’t believe it’s AUGUST! It’s been too cool around here to believe it’s actually the hottest month of the year. Anyway, here are some funnies for ya!

J: You know why I kissed you?
Me: Why bud?
J: Because everything changes when I kiss you!

J: Mom, can I have a fruit snack?
*running feet*
D: Mom! I wan’ fuit sna!

Scenario: I’m standing in the kitchen next to the trash can, and J is eating a Babybel in the next room.
J walks up to me and holds his hand out: Mom, can you throw ’tis trash in the trash can?
Me: *looks from J to the trash can one foot away* Can you throw the trash in the trash can?

Science bomb…
J: The truest question is that girls don’t have hineys.
Me: Um. What?

J: Dad, after my nap can I have cookies?
Hubby: You mean the Oreos?
J: No! The ones that are black on the top, and black on the bottom and white in the middle!
Hubby: …those are Oreos…

EK: Let’s watch a mermaid movie… but not The Little Mermaid.
J: So you mean the big mermaid?

What are your kids talking about these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Vacation isn’t stopping my kids from saying hilarious things, so here is a sampling of the things I’ve heard this week! Enjoy!

EK to our babysitter: I’m going to make your hair look exotic!

J: Mama, when I get up, can we do that thing we did the other day?
Me: Yeah, babe. What thing?
J: I don’t remember.

Heard from the back seat…
J: EK, we’re not playing that panties game!

EK at dinner: Did you know that bats use listening and feeling and snelling (no typo) to find their way around ’cause they can’t see?
Everyone: Oh wow! Cool! No way!
EK: Yeah, that’s how I get to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Listening, feeling, and snelling.

EK, randomly: Mom, I want to join a bunch of kids. I want to work on my soccers.

EK, randomly mimicking the self-check out: Thank you for shopping at Lowe’s Foods!

D: *crying in the car at 9:00am*
EK: Why don’t you go to sleep, D? You’ll do less crying that way.
Me: He’s not even been awake a full hour, sweetie.

EK, with a bag full of sandy seashells: These are sorry shells for D. Because he wasn’t feeling good. 

J, to EK, while brushing their teeth: Don’t just eat it like a lollipop!

There you have it: Things I Couldn’t Make Up If I Tried. What are your kids surprising you with these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy holiday week, y’all! I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th – I know we did! We enjoyed some time in the mountains with friends (thank goodness for a little drop in temperature up there!) and are glad to be home today, which is why it’s Toddler Wednesday this week! Lots of funny one-liners this week from the kiddos. It’s like I always say: I can’t make this stuff up. Enjoy!

J: My daughter says I have Xian Yu (from Mulan) on my money!
Me: Where’d you get that money? And who is your daughter?

EK: Dad, will you sit on me? I mean carry me?

EK: Dad, if I wrestled on you, you’d, like, spank me in the face!

J to my Nana: Why are you so bumpy? (He meant the wrinkles)

EK, randomly: So do you just look around when you want to find a husband? You just, walk around? Till you find the one you want?

EK: I decided I don’t think I want my hair as long as Rapunzel’s. I want a little cut.
Me: Oh really? (That had been her mantra for ages.) How short do you want to cut it?
EK: I want it to be like Celia’s.
Me: Who is Celia?
EK: Celia, from Monsters, Inc.
Me: Oh, you want snakes for hair.

Toddler logic:
J: I’m hopping on one foot because I didn’t take a nap. And EK is walking on two feet because she took a great nap.

J, on roasted cauliflower: I am very hungry for dis.

J: Stop doing that!
Me: Stop doing what?
J: Stop doing nothing!

What silly things are your kids saying these days?! Leave a comment and tell me about it!

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I hope your summer is off to a fantastic start! We have been enjoying ourselves outside, enjoying a visit from my mom, and planning a few trips. Anyway, here’s the good stuff… the funny stuff… the stuff you came here to read. Enjoy!

J with my mom…
Necie: I love you, and you are so much fun.
J: Do you know why I’m so much fun?
Necie: No, why?
J: Because I’m so handsome!
Me, upon hearing the story: And so humble!

EK, hands me my headband I wear when I run: Wanna go on a run together?
Me: Absolutely!
We ran a little, a quarter mile maybe, and then it was over. But it was cute while it lasted!

J: You remember when I locked myself outside and there was a robot?
EK: I think you’re just making that up.

J talking to our friend Tim…
J: I’m almost as old as you.
Tim: How old am I?
J: 15 months away.

J telling me about his afternoon: I went back and forf a lot today. From the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor.

J, getting out of bed way after bedtime: Hey mom?
Me: Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?
J: Hey mom? There was a creak in my room. And a scratch on my bed. But there was a creak but then I….. (me zoning out of the story)
Me: Okay, night night buddy.

My mom went to put J down for his nap…
J: Necie, when it’s time for me to wake up, I want you to still be here.
Necie: I will be here; I promise.
J: You can sleep between my parents. They will make room for you. But they only have two pillows.
Necie: Okay, buddy. Thanks!

Me in the car: Do you guys want to be my helpers when we get home?
EK: Yeah! J, let’s clean everything for mom!
Me: I meant help me cook dinner but that works too!

EK: J, did you move these flowers?!
J: No.
EK: Well those are MY hens and chicks. Don’t move them.
J: Well I just wanted to share your hens and chicks.
EK: J! Do NOT pick my hens and chicks ever again!
(Pardon the weeds, by the way.)

D: Dirt?
Me: Yeah, you’re covered in dirt.

J: I know Chinese!
Me: What Chinese words do you know?
J: I know food Chinese! (as in the names of Chinese dishes, which is true)

J: Did anyone think my burp was funny?
The room: *crickets*