Tag Archives: things kids say

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I hope your summer is off to a fantastic start! We have been enjoying ourselves outside, enjoying a visit from my mom, and planning a few trips. Anyway, here’s the good stuff… the funny stuff… the stuff you came here to read. Enjoy!

J with my mom…
Necie: I love you, and you are so much fun.
J: Do you know why I’m so much fun?
Necie: No, why?
J: Because I’m so handsome!
Me, upon hearing the story: And so humble!

EK, hands me my headband I wear when I run: Wanna go on a run together?
Me: Absolutely!
We ran a little, a quarter mile maybe, and then it was over. But it was cute while it lasted!

J: You remember when I locked myself outside and there was a robot?
EK: I think you’re just making that up.

J talking to our friend Tim…
J: I’m almost as old as you.
Tim: How old am I?
J: 15 months away.

J telling me about his afternoon: I went back and forf a lot today. From the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor to the couch to the floor.

J, getting out of bed way after bedtime: Hey mom?
Me: Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?
J: Hey mom? There was a creak in my room. And a scratch on my bed. But there was a creak but then I….. (me zoning out of the story)
Me: Okay, night night buddy.

My mom went to put J down for his nap…
J: Necie, when it’s time for me to wake up, I want you to still be here.
Necie: I will be here; I promise.
J: You can sleep between my parents. They will make room for you. But they only have two pillows.
Necie: Okay, buddy. Thanks!

Me in the car: Do you guys want to be my helpers when we get home?
EK: Yeah! J, let’s clean everything for mom!
Me: I meant help me cook dinner but that works too!

EK: J, did you move these flowers?!
J: No.
EK: Well those are MY hens and chicks. Don’t move them.
J: Well I just wanted to share your hens and chicks.
EK: J! Do NOT pick my hens and chicks ever again!
(Pardon the weeds, by the way.)

D: Dirt?
Me: Yeah, you’re covered in dirt.

J: I know Chinese!
Me: What Chinese words do you know?
J: I know food Chinese! (as in the names of Chinese dishes, which is true)

J: Did anyone think my burp was funny?
The room: *crickets*

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday! Summer is almost here! We are preparing for warm weather and sunshine at our house – how about you? Hope the funnies find you well and not too busy as school ends… Enjoy!

First thing in the morning…
D: Hi!
Hubby: Hi!
D: I poop!
Hubby: You sure did…

J: Look at my robots!
Me: How many eyes do your robots have?
J: This ones got a hundred and this one has two!

EK, giving the above plate of food to me: I know that looks like a regular egg, but it’s actually an Australia egg.

Me: Who sneezed?
EK: It was just a tree outside.
Me: A tree sneezed?
EK: Yeah! How magical is that?!

J: I can’t reach!
Me: Be there in one second!
J: Okay, I’ll count to one. Five, four, three, two, one!

Overheard from the back of the car…
J: We can’t see Jesus because he’s hiding in our hearts.

EK, running up to me, crying: Mom! I falled while we were playing risbeef!
She meant frisbee. And I was trying so hard not to laugh at her pain.

EK got in our bed at 3:00am and after several minutes of no one sleeping…
Me: It’s time to go back and get in your own bed.
EK: Will you carry me?
Me: *picks her up and heads for the stairs*
EK: I just couldn’t sleep because you and Daddy kept moving your legs around.
Me: You know that we didn’t ask you to get in our bed, right?

EK: Ladies and gentlemen! The dangerous volcano is interrupting five minutes! Please stay away so you do not get hurt! Five, four, three, two, one!

J: I found a microbot (from Big Hero 6) on EK’s purse!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Aaaand that’s enough chat for me this morning! Here goes nothin’… 

For the record, I came downstairs and this was already happening.
 J, arms wide: Jump me! (He means “Catch me.”)

EK spent one whole morning singing about “sinner ash”. I’m still unsure what she actually meant.

J, running around: I’m crunchy! I’m crunchy! (He was pretending to be a shark.)

In other news, no one would own up to standing Buzz up on their dinner date.

One morning while we were having breakfast, EK asked me to take a selfie of her and me. After I did, J ended up with my phone, and then this happened… 

It was the cutest thing, watching him discover it was him he could see on there, playing a little peekaboo with himself, and trying to show everyone else he was on there. Adorable.

During playtime together, EK likes to order J around. This might include putting him in time out, having him make dinner, “saving” the baby from him, telling him he can’t have juice, or pretending he is anyone but who he is.

EK: Josie’s hands are bigger than my hands.
Me: Okay…

Me: I’m making strawberry pancakes for breakfast!
EK: I don’t like strawberry pancakes. Unless they’re good. Then I might eat them.

Andrea: Who are you gonna marry?
EK: Nobody! Just myself!

After hearing me talk about going to T.J. Maxx…
EK: Mom, can I go to tea bags max with you?
Me: ……

J: I can’t find my chicken!
Me: Your chicken is in the sauce.
J: But I can’t find it!
EK: But you like chicken in sauce!

EK, discussing foods she likes: and you know what else I like to eat?!
Me: What?
EK: Baby Davis! Chomp! I ate him!
I think we’ve nom nom nommed the baby too many times.

What are you kiddos saying these days? Anyone else like to chomp the baby?

Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! I thought last week’s edition of Things Toddlers Say seemed long, but maybe my kids are just crazy, because this week’s is long, too! So here they are – the funniest things I’ve heard around here this week.  

 We love The Gruffalo, a book by Julia Donaldson (and also a short “movie” on Netflix!) so this conversation started normally…
Hubby: My favorite food is owl ice cream!
Me: My favorite food is scrambled snake!
EK: My favorite food is… toilet paper!

EK’s permanent retort when she runs out of things to say: Look, I know how to stop this winter.

On the way to get breakfast…
EK: We’re going to have special breakfast. Go right-left here. And then take a left.
Hubby: When’s your birthday?
EK: I don’t know.
Hubby: it’s April 13th! Can you count to 13?
EK: No.
Hubby: Let’s try!
Together: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11…
Hubby: What’s next?

Lala: Do you want a hushpuppy?
J: No, I don’t like pushuppy.

We’ve been working on shapes with J. He’s got most of them down, but hasn’t been able to latch onto “diamond”. Earlier, he had this swaddle, pictured above, and was calling it his “kite” swaddle. I finally figured out he was talking about the diamond shape print. Smart kid.

J: Come on ride the train… and ride it!

J locked himself in our bedroom before dinner, and was shouting, “I want out of the dark now!”

Annie to EK: You’re such a good girl!
EK: Yeah! That’s the point!

J: I want my kwackwer now!
He means graham crackers.

I’m singing “Bad Blood” while driving, and then I hear two kids shouting a perfectly-timed “Hey!” from the backseat. So well-trained.

EK’s best misnomer of late is yest-night.

J watched the first few minutes of Jurassic World (before it got scary, okay?!) and now confuses dinosaurs with dragons (he has always loved How to Train Your Dragon). He’s been calling dinosaurs “dinosons”.

Me: What color play doh do you want?
EK: Pink!
Me: There’s no pink, sweetie. How about orange?
EK: Okay! Orange is my favorite, my not pink favorite.

EK hands me this:  
And then asks, “What do you want for lunch? This is your menu!”

Every time EK sees a unicorn: Look, Mommy! An un-icorn! (As in un-der or un-fit.)

So…. you’ve heard mine, so let’s hear yours! What are you kiddos talking about?

Things Toddlers Say 

Hey Tuesday! Hope everyone had a good start to their week yesterday! We celebrated my father in law’s birthday (twice!) so it was a good day for us! Here’s a little bit of what my kids have been saying this week… 

 EK: What time is it?
Me: 8:55
EK: That’s a really good one.
EK: What time is it?
Me: 12:14
EK: Aww… I really don’t like that one…

Upon hearing that I was going to my college roomie’s 30th birthday party (at a bar)…
EK: Aww! I want to come!
Me: I’m sorry, babe! I wish I could take you, but I can’t this time.
EK: But I want to have a girls’ night! And Joe wants to have a boys’ night!
Me: (Dying with laughter and texting my friends) We will REALLY soon!

Getting in the car…
EK: Mom, I can’t do it in my skinny pants!

Waking up from a nap…
EK: Are we gonna go to Georgia now?
Hubby: No, we’re going next week.
EK: Yeah, that’s a good idea, Dad!

EK: Can we have a flying car, Mommy?
Me: I wish. There is no such thing, babe.
EK: But Harry Potter’s blue car is a flying car!
Me: Touché. But Harry potter’s car is magic. And it actually belongs to the Weasleys.

Me: Hey babe, J just took a dump. (I know, I should find new parent slang.)
EK: Yeah, he’s a dump truck! Dump truck! Dump truck! Dumpy, dumpy, dump truck!  (Obviously in a sing-song voice)

EK at bedtime: Do we have school tomorrow?
Me: Nope!
EK: Do we have church?
Me: Nope!
EK: Just stay at home?
Me: Yep!
EK: Well, can we have special breakfast?
Me: I’m never off the hook.

J: I want truck! (Pointing at a tractor)
Me: That’s a tractor, buddy! And you can go get on it!
J: Yay! Truck! (Squealing with excitement)
Me, after several minutes: Alright, why don’t we go see everyone?
Me: Okay, we can play another minute or two…
After several more minutes, I’m rescued by my friend Chris, who lets J play on the “truck” for another 10 minutes.

Hubby: It’s Gon Gon’s birthday!
EK: Aww! We gonna sing to him and he gonna smile at us and we gonna be so happy!

Well, that’s it for this week. What have your kids been talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Today is Tuesday! And it’s a special Tuesday – my college roomie Anne’s 30th birthday! She always likes these posts, so I’d like to dedicate a little humor to her on her birthday!! So here it is… a little humor! My kiddos are getting more and more talkative (if that’s even possible!) every day, and J is using more actual words these days. I’m still looking for a new name for the series, since EK really isn’t a toddler anymore. Well, here goes!


 We’re working on counting to 20 (with both bigs) and EK basically does it, except for “five-teen” but J can only really go to 5, and just says “TWENTY!” really loudly whenever we say 19. I’d say they’ll both have it by kindergarten.

So, I say, “Boom bam!” a lot. Like when I put dinner down in front of the kids, or when I finish whatever EK asks me to build with blocks (think “ta daaaa”). So today, EK was building something, and when she was finished, she said, “Boom bayam!” This followed:
Necie: What?
EK: Boom bam!
Me: She got that from me.
EK: Yeah. I say it. I say it to Joe Joe when he naps. It’s so silly.

EK, building a box: Look! I made a fox!

EK, climbing into a chair, and I hear a bump: Ouch! My panties!

EK and I were painting, and I did this:

EK: Mommy! How did you DO that?!
My self-esteem boosted, I am now applying to get my PhD in art. (Absolutely not.)

Having a discussion about eye color…
EK: Davis’ eyes is blue.
Me: Yes!
EK: Jofess’ eyes is blue.
Me: They are!
EK: Green and blue! Green and blue! The wheels on the bus say “green and blue”, all through the town!
We can now safely say that “The Wheels on the Bus” can be turned into a song about anything.

Sitting on the couch, drinking my coffee…
J: One, two, one, three, GO! (Chucks Lego castle across the room and it hits my foot and explodes.)

EK, unprompted: I love you, fahdder and mudder.
Hubby: We love you, too. What else could you call me?
EK: Ryan!
Hubby: What else?
EK: Ryan Hsu!
Me: …Names like Mommy and Daddy are in the past.

In the bathtub, EK takes the foam number 8 and sticks it up to her eyes. “Mom, look! I wearing gobbles!!”

I can’t make this stuff up, you guys. Not if I tried. What could you never make up that your kids come up with?

Things Toddlers Say – Backseat Driver Edition

This may become a normal series of posts, now that my kids are speaking more and better (sort of). They say the darnedest things, right?

EK has this new thing she’s doing while we’re in the car. Her seat is on the driver’s side of the car, and so she sees mostly oncoming traffic. She keeps saying, “Mommy! Don’t hit that car! Don’t hit that trash can! Don’t hit that tree! Don’t hit that house!” half the time we’re moving. It’s about to get real, because when she shouts, “Mommy!” it startles me enough to make me want to turn around, or look frantically around to see what’s happening. She’s also about to turn into the girl who cried wolf, because now when she’s like, “There’s a ________!” I won’t believe her. I basically told her to stop shouting in the car because it made me nervous. 

Has anyone else dealt with this with their toddlers?