Tag Archives: motherhood

mommyhood

You Are One. 

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How is it possible, my baby, that you have already been with us one year?

That early morning last summer, after a long night of labor, was a beautiful relief. Every day with you has been a joy, a loud, fun-filled, silly journey.

You are the apple of your family’s eye, the snuggliest puppy-boy, the growling companion to your brother and the anywhere-follower of your sister. You’ve got seven sharp teeth that love all things crunchy, and you’re following in your brother’s big, heavy footsteps. You might not walk just yet, but you are quite fast in spite of that fact. 


You have great things ahead, dear Davis. Many wonderful years await you, but for a minute, I wish you’d slow down, stay little for a little longer. I know you won’t, so I look forward to the next, and the next, as well. Happy first birthday, my baby darling. 

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, travel

Currently: A Summer Slacker

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Y’all, I’ve been a slacker. I haven’t been writing unless I really need to (aka for My Big Jesus or for Toddler Tuesday). I’ve been soaking in the sun. I’ve been spending a lot of time in my car. I’ve been barely glancing at my email, and hardly thinking of the blog. And it’s been nice.

But this week, I have catching up to do! I have friends I haven’t seen in a long time, and things I want to write about but just haven’t had time. So those are my priorities! And to catch you up, here’s a little currently so you know what’s been going on all this time!

Traveling || to Georgia, to hang with my folks! We spent the majority of the time in the pool, and I had some special time with some old friends I hadn’t seen. Between a pool date with my gal pal Katelyn (who I’ve been friends with since we were 13) and a date in ATL (oh yeah, I went down there ALONE) with my oldest bestie Lauren (friends since age 11 and the dawning of a love for BSB), AND a stellar brunch with my sweet cousin and my adopted little brother (here’s SnapChatting you, Harrison!) on our way through Atlanta to get back home, we were really blessed to see even more loved ones than usual.


Relaxing || at Lake Norman. Hubby’s parents graciously let us bring the family down for three whole days to soak up the sun, swim, boat ride and snuggle with the grandparents. We had good conversation, lots of fun, and special Sun Drop slushies – which my kids had never had before! (For those of you that don’t know, Sun Drop is a North Carolina-made soda, and the slushies were totally delicious.)


Anticipating || the Olympics! I foresee myself bumming everyone’s cable and spending lots of time at our favorite restaurant/bar to enjoy the games. We don’t have cable, and every two years I really regret it, because I’ve always loved being swept up in the Olympic Games. My favorite summer sports to watch are volleyball and gymnastics, and I also love swimming and diving. What are the sports you won’t miss?

Planning || D’s first birthday party! I can’t believe it’s here. I’m not really getting him gifts (he’s got all the toys and clothes a kid could want) but I want to celebrate him. And who doesn’t like a good cake smash photo? 

Organizing || the kids’ toys. While they were in camp last week, I’ve made it a separate mission to get things organized, and also get rid of or pack away for a while things that are not getting played with. It’s hard to get rid of toys when I have another kid that will likely play with those things when he gets a little older, but if I leave the toys unattended for too long, they’re everywhere, too cluttered up to actually play with, and getting stepped on and broken by two angry parents. So, here I am, getting things back under control. Phew!

Well, what are you doing currently? Are you looking forward to the Olympics? Have you vacationed yet this summer?

food, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts, siblings

5 Ways My Third Kid Gets the Short End of the Sibling Stick

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.


It’s no secret that having multiple kids can really split your time, efforts, and finances. It can also weaken even the strongest parents’ preconceived notions of how they’ll raise their children. Here are a few ways my third babe has already been

1. He can’t talk yet. His siblings do all the talking (over him and for him) and sometimes they don’t interpret correctly. He doesn’t get to request what he gets for snack, or what to watch on TV. He can’t communicate about whether he’s cold without pants on, or that he hates wearing shoes (well, that I actually did figure out). He can’t tell me when he needs help reaching something. He can’t even tell me when his brother hit him, when brother said he didn’t. He’s just gotta roll with whatever punches are thrown (no pun intended).

2. His birthday isn’t getting a big to-do. Sorry, third baby. Your first birthday matters, I promise. But it really snuck up on me, and I don’t have a big party planned. I don’t expect I’ll buy you 400 gifts or plan activities for you and your baby friends. In fact, I bet your siblings will be the life of your party, if only because they can actually demand attention. But I promise you’ll at least get some cake. (And in case you’re wondering, his first birthday is this Saturday. Yesterday I asked his grandparents if they were free that day.)

3. His schedule gets interrupted. We built our lives around the schedule of baby #1 for a while. With baby #2, we at least made sure his naps happened. With baby #3, he naps in the stroller, car, or carrier more often than the other two did, combined. Sometimes he’s gotta sacrifice his sleep to do fun things with his sibs. To the movies or nap? To the park or nap? It’s really not a question.

4. His diet is far from organic. Feeding three kids, even small ones, is no joke – in terms of effort or of money spent. So D learned a lot earlier to eat things like hot dogs and Chick-fil-A. And not that I’m saying there is anything wrong with those things; we all eat them a lot! A friend of mine said it perfectly: The first baby eats organic vegetables, and the last kid eats French fries from the floorboard of the car (which actually happened today).

5. He’s basically never worn new clothes. This might be an exception if it’s not the first baby, but still the first of that gender in the family. But my little guy is wearing hand-me-downs from his brother AND cousin, and still growing out of them like he’s a teenager. There are a few exceptions, since he has generous grandparents, and because my older son is really hard on his clothes. But the vast majority of what he wears has been a little stretched, has been washed 100+ times, includes some sort of stain, and/or harbors a tiny hole I refuse to recognize.

But I must say: even if he gets a little less work put into his diet and wardrobe, and has to learn to do things himself (like eat and walk and defend himself) a little quicker, he is not a bit less loved. Every single person in our tribe loves him as much as they’ve ever loved either of my other kids, including the siblings themselves. There’s a lot of love to go around, and my last baby isn’t shorted on affection!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I’ve had a nice, relaxing week or two of not writing much, and not writing down every single funny thing that happens at our house, but here are a few good ones! Hope you have a lovely, funny Tuesday! 

J, as we first see the lake from the car: I’m sooooooo excited!
J: Can I have muches juice pweese?

After an afternoon of pulling D off the stairs…
J: No no, rascal. You gotta come down. You can’t go up the stairs.

EK, unprompted: Can we let J wear panties now?
Me: Not yet, babe. But we’re trying.

While this was happening:


J: I wuf you.
EK, turns around: He says he loves me!

I hand J a small apple…
J: Is this a peach, mom?
Me: No, it’s just a small apple.
J: Is it a peach apple?
Me: No, just an apple.
J: I like peach apples, mom!
Me: Okay, bud.

Me: I love you a lot.
EK: I love you way more than a balloon string.

Driving on a road near some train tracks, and I hear EK really crying from the backseat…
Me: What’s wrong?
EK: I wanted to look at the train tracks but J said I can’t! (More wailing.)
Me: He can’t make you not look out the window, babe.
EK: I see them! I see the train tracks!

J, very thoughtfully: Mama, sometimes is a long time.

EK: I just pooped, and I didn’t wipe so well. Some poopy got on my leg. 

J, in the same breath: You’re a sweet little mommy. You’re a sweet little rabbit.

Side section: Words that J now uses correctly, even if he can’t pronounce them:
Patient
Fragile

Well, that’s what’s getting shouted and said around our house. What are the kids in your life talking about?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy

How Does Your Garden Grow?

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.

  I’ve had an unforseen transformation over the past couple of years. As a girl who never had a green thumb or really cared about gardens of any sort, I’ve learned to really love growing things. I get excited in the early spring about planning out our vegetable and herb garden, readying the soil, building a new bed, perhaps, and buying the seeds and seedlings. It’s hard work, especially the preparation, but I’ve learned to really enjoy it. Last summer, I was one thousand months pregnant with my third baby, and I was shoveling fresh dirt into a new bed. I wanted to be a part of it that much.

I love seeing the first little glimpses of life coming up through the soil. I love smelling the fresh leaves on the herbs, especially after it rains. I love seeing the very first tiny, green tomatoes, and little yellow squashes. I even like trimming, pruning and deadheading to help send the nutrients to the good parts of the plant. I love the way my big kids want to get outside with me, dig in the dirt, and eat tomatoes right off the vine. My eldest can even name most of the herbs, and identify them by smell. Even as recently as five years ago, I’d never be able to tell you that I would love it this much, and incorporate it into my life so fully.

But I started growing something else, about five years ago. It was a big task, something that took the most energy, time, effort, and prayer I’ve ever given anything. I grew a child in my womb. I was the vessel as God literally knit a life together and helped it grow. Now, I am a nurturer to three such blessings, helping them grow. Yes, it still takes the most energy, time, effort and prayer I can muster. Yes, it even takes a little pruning of misconceptions and education after mistakes to help the best parts of my children thrive. Train up a child in the way he should go (Prov. 22:6), yes?

It may be a cheesy metaphor, but the love of growing things became so real to me when I was growing something of my very own. The love the God helps us grow, the love of parents help their children grow, and the love of a gardener helps her garden grow. Tending anything that grows requires effort. It requires the giving of nutrients and water. It requires protection from storms, literal or figurative. It requires a certain love for the thing to help it grow. We are not abandoned to grow on our own in the wild; we have a loving God, tending to our needs, and helping us grow into who He’s called us to be.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts, women

But Seriously, Lay Off Already. 

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.

I promise I’m not trying to push your buttons.

But I am trying to make you think.

Haven’t any parents out there ever lost sight of their toddlers for one second? I definitely have, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I mean, it happened at the farmers’ market on Saturday! I am human… Anytime, any place, that can happen. Young children are unpredictable, and can be downright sneaky. Even the most attentive parents can sometimes struggle to keep their kids within a safe distance. It doesn’t mean you haven’t taught your children enough about what’s safe and what’s not. It doesn’t mean you don’t pay enough attention to them. Young children just don’t have good understanding of what “safe” is, especially when they’ve never had a reason to be scared.

So what I’m really imploring you to do right now is think. What if it was you? Put yourself in the parents’ shoes… Your child fell into the gorilla cage, or was snatched up by an alligator while you were swimming together. Feel the fear, the sheer terror. Feel the guilt, that builds as you learn what the cause and effect of the situation will be. Feel the anger, that you’d like to place on something, someone, other than yourself or your child. Imagine the sadness, the overwhelming physical ache you’d feel if something was to actually happen to your child. 

Now. 

When you’ve felt those feelings, or at least thought about it for a minute, are you mad at the parents? Or are you, like me, feeling sympathetic to their situation. If I lost one of my children, really lost them, I wouldn’t be able to go on. It wouldn’t matter to me your harsh opinions or your reprimands about what I should’ve been doing. 

I would be crushed. 

So if you have judgement to pass, ugly jokes to make, or a rude statement to post as your Facebook status about how that would never happen to your kids… Save it. Swallow it. Oppress the thought, and put yourself in the shoes of someone who has lost a child, for any reason. I promise you wouldn’t care what the reason was. Your life would be forever changed, and you’d be mourning that tiny soul for the rest of your life. 

I don’t have time for your judgement and harsh words. But I do have time for sympathy, prayers, and kindness. 

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts

Feeling All the Feels 

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

Sometimes I feel like I do everything. I’ve fed them, bathed them, clothed them, entertained them, and put them to bed. I’ve done all the things, and they are not only entirely oblivious to my efforts, but seemingly ungrateful (read: ignoring and/or defying me). My children are my world, and I spend more time with them than anyone else. 

But enough is enough. 

I am allowed to be overwhelmed. To be full. And I don’t mean in the sweet “my heart is full” sort of way. I mean in the “my plate is so full I can’t figure out how to survive” sort of way. Fullness is a blessing, and I do not discount the ease with which we had our children, or the privilege it is to call them my own. But there’s not a mother out there who can tell you that there aren’t moments, days, or even weeks where things are just so full that they’re hard. 

A couple of weeks ago, I happened to be on vacation. I was in another state, literally and figuratively. I was down there in big ol’, wide-open Texas, and all I did was wonder what my kids were doing at the moment. 

The truth is, those kiddos frustrate me. And they thrill me. And they drive me up the wall. And they are the most joyous three people I know. My world revolves around them. I’m constantly learning how to be the best when I’m with them, and when I’m not. It’s a test of balance to see how I can be myself in both situations. If I’m wearing nice clothes, carrying only a small purse, and driving a car with no child seats, I must be missing something… right? Sometimes, I realize what I’m missing is my grumpiness. I’m missing the exhaustion and stress that sometimes follows me when I’m lugging the kids (and their stuff) around. 

But the biggest thing I’ve learned is that grumpy is okay. Exhausted is okay. Angry, even, is okay. Joyous is okay! Delirious is okay! Whatever stage you’re in, moment you’re in, and feelings you’re having- it’s okay! It doesn’t mean those feelings define you, or that you’re stuck in that rut. But you’re allowed to have big feelings just like your little ones are. So embrace them. Use them as an excuse for a break. Use them as a teachable moment. But don’t shun them; let your feelings show, because that’s how you move on to the next moment. 

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, Tuesday! I can’t believe you’ve come back around again. Since you’re here, how about some sillies?

EK speaking to the waitress at the restaurant with Annie: Will you please bring me some ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles?
Girl knows what she wants.

Mothers’ Day shopping with Annie…
EK: You’re a mother! We should get you a present, too!

I wasn’t present for this one:
Hubby: …unless you’d like to take your nap at Annie’s house.
Annie: That’s alright with me.
EK: Well, we’ll have to ask Ryan’s wife first.

Annie: Is Finley your friend?
J: No! He’s my best friend.

Happening in the back seat of the car…
EK: Okay, I say “no” and you say “yeah”… No!
J: Yayeah!

J, when I went to wake him up: Mom! I can’t find my Sully anywhere!

EK: Can I have your avocado?
Jan: Sure!
EK: Wait! Don’t give it to me yet… Can I please have some of your avocado?
How very polite she’s become.

EK: Daddy, you like spicy food.
Hubby: I sure do.
EK: Yeah, but the kiddos don’t.

EK: Mommy, you’re gonna be at Lauren’s work soon. (She’s a PA.)
Me: I don’t really plan on being at Lauren’s work, no.
EK: You will. Bery, bery soon.
How does she know?!

In the corner of the living room, crouching beside the sofa…
J: I hidin’, Mom! I hidin’ right here!

EK had been procrastinating bedtime, using the bathroom, asking for snuggles, etc. My aunt (who was with her) finally laid down with her…
Jan: I’ll snuggle you for two minutes. And then, I have to go. If your mom sees me in here, she’s going to be upset.
EK: Yeah. She may call the police. And the police will come take you away. Go back to your room right now!
Jan: Right now?
EK: Yes! Because the police might come!

Milkshake wisdom:
EK: It’s good to have a blanket when you’re drinking a milkshake on the couch.
Seems legit.

That’s it for the week. There was more, but I just can’t write everything down! It’s too much. You’d be flooded with hilarity, and that’s not good for the rest of your life. Everything else wouldn’t be as funny. Have a good week!

food, food, home, mommyhood, siblings, travel

Currently

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Hey y’all! Thanks for checking out my weekly update. Because it’s the first one of the month (APRIL?!) I’ll be linking up with Anne in Residence, Jenna at Gold and Bloom, and Becky at Choose Happy. Link up or comment, and join us!!

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Making || some healthy muffins for breakfasts and snacks this week. Have any great recipes to share? Bonus points if they’re clean or paleo!

Wishlisting || all the things I wish we could take home from DisneyWorld. Things are so expensive, and I want to get so many fun things for my bigs, and bring sweet things home for D, but I’ll just settle for a thing or two. Not to mention the fact we’d have to fly home with it, so we’re definitely not getting any oversized stuffed animals!

Cleaning || more than usual after a week away and a really busy few days following the trip. We are behind on laundry and our bathrooms are embarrassing. Oops. 

Posting || the rest of our pictures from GA! 

    
    
    
   

Tasting || Craft beers! There’s a new growler store near our house, and we’re totally digging it. You can get a flight (5 medium-sized samples) or just taste a few small samples before you decide on what to get a growler of. If you’re local, you should check it out! It’s on Robinhood Road, a few storefronts down from the YMCA and Ace Hardware.

Well that’s it on my front. What are you up to currently? Where did you go for spring break?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, my journey as a mother, pregnancy, women

A Letter to Myself Before I Became a Mother

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Dear innocent, young girl,

I want to write you, even though I know you’ll never see it. But maybe it will make us both feel better, and let us share a little of ourselves with each other. Oh, if you only knew what’s coming. I could tell you so many things, but you wouldn’t even want to hear them right now. It’s difficult to understand the lifestyle, the struggles, all of the feels that you will experience later. You might even have a chuckle or two (or hearty laugh, actually) at some of the things coming for you.

But in lieu of us having a little laugh at my (our) expense, I thought I’d give a piece or two of advice. You know, a friendly few suggestions to maybe try out before you get to where I am now: wading through a pile of children on my way to the bathroom in the morning, hearing shouts floating up the stairs before I’ve even heard my alarm (by the way, my alarm is a crying baby). Here are my three big pieces of advice:

1. Sleep late. I know you do already, or I wouldn’t know how much you’d miss it. But do it more often, as often as possible. And you know what else? Go to bed early. I know you’re a night owl and you love staying awake in the wee hours, but just try it out once or twice. You might find that you like it!

2. Travel. You don’t have any idea how cheap and easy it is to go places right now. It will be again, but not for a while. Get out there into the world beyond your town. Visit friends that live far away, go to different time zones while your body can spring back easily, get on an airplane without any tag-alongs (and I don’t mean Girl Scout cookies), eat fancy food, visit museums and see shows. You’ll find that each of these things is either more expensive, more difficult, or altogether impossible, at least for a little while. Travel enough now to save up some memories until your children are older and you’re not using your paycheck on diapers.

3. Sow seeds. This seems broad, but it can be specifically applied to three areas: your family, your friends, and your career. You will be busy when you’ve got little ones. And not any sort of busy that you’ve ever experienced. You won’t have much time to build new relationships, so sow good seeds into the family and friends you’ve got now. You want them to stick around during that time when you’re largely an unshowered, frazzled mess, alive solely because of coffee. They’ll be forgiving (and even helpful!) because you’ve spent years loving them well when you had the time and energy for it. Your career will thank you as well. Work hard and long while you don’t have those little ones who need you at home. You’ll build a base of trust and integrity, and likely receive grace later when you have a sick babe or preschool play to attend.

The last thing I’ll say, free and childless one, is when you do get ready for children, and you are expecting one of your own, don’t brush off what those mothers you meet will tell you. New mothers, old mothers, working mothers, stay-at-home mothers will all impart wisdom to you in their own way. Sometimes, you won’t know why they need to tell you those ridiculous things, or scare you with their labor stories, or be the hundredth woman to tell you, “Oh, just wait!” They’re all right; what they say will be true at some point during your mothering experience. You will be tired, you will get fed up, and you will feel the craziest, strongest, most permanently bonding love you’ve ever felt about anything. Open your heart to it, because it’s the best thing you’ll ever feel.