Tag Archives: motherhood

food, home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a bit short this week (I spent the better part of two days not hanging out with anyone much since I had the stomach bug) but still good! Hope your enjoy the funny things my kids are saying!


EK was so excited to get my attention and show me this “delicious ballet”. I think she may have meant “delicious display”. Still unsure.    

Eating homemade paella…
J: This is chicken and rice!
EK: No it’s paella!
J: Pallela?!

Bedtime stalling on a new level…
EK: I saw a spider in my room!
(10 minute rant from Hubby about how spiders are good, not scary, and they eat other bugs that we don’t like.)
EK comes back: I saw a spider in my room! He was eating a cracker!
Me: *face palm*

J’s new favorite thing to talk about: his scrape. He fell in the parking lot on the way into church one day, and Hubby introduced him to the word “scrape”. He is now obsessed with it, and it sounds a lot like “grape”. He is also very concerned with getting kisses to make it feel better… from everyone. I don’t know what he’ll talk about when his hand heals.

Preparing for  our walk the other day, the mailman happened to be at our mailbox when we walked out the door…
EK: Mom! Look at that email man! (Chuckling)
A minute later when we walked by the mailbox…
EK: Mom! You didn’t check your email!

My mom called D a “drool bucket”. I don’t even think EK was in the room at the time. But I hear her, hours later, singing a song to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” about “Drool Bucket Davis”.

Sitting at dinner, J reaches his hand toward me and says, “I can’t reach you! I need to reach you!” When I leaned over to him, he gently touched my face, then put his arm around my neck. Oh wow, am I in for it.

EK: Necie! Have you noticed that the dentist lady brought me a new toothbrush?!
That happened weeks ago. And she doesn’t even use that one.

So let’s hear it: what’s the funniest thing your kids have said recently?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Motherhood Is a Battle

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

As a mom, I am called to do a plethora of things. Not the least of these is to fight for my children. I fight for them to be treated fairly, given any and every opportunity, for their health, their happiness, and, if the need arises, their very lives. I am happy to fight those battles for them as long as I can. 

But sometimes, I feel like all I do is fight. I fight against the sink full of dishes or the endless loads of laundry. I fight veggies into mouths. I fight shoes onto feet. I fight urine and spit-up out of carpet and bedsheets. I fight the clock to finish dinner in time to bathe before bed. I fight for guilt-free alone time. I fight for quality time with one or two or even three, that isn’t taken up by “Stop that!” or “Don’t hit your sister!” Choose your battles, they’ve told me. Well, choosing my battles seems like a battle in itself. 

When I’ve fought battles all day, I’m weary of myself. I dislike who I’ve become after the stress of the day has worn me down. I need a break, or encouragement, or a big glass of wine. But what I try my hardest to do is focus on the One who can pull me up, out of the muck and the mire, and remind me who I am. He can drag me out of the pit – where sometimes you can find me wallowing – and restore me the my fuller self. He is the conqueror of things big and small. He has conquered death, so what battles of mine can He not win?

Jesus is a conqueror. In Him, I am also a conqueror. When I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle, He can win for me! He take take all the ugliness – the exhaustion, the anger the guilt, and the sadness in me – and weave them into a beautiful tapestry that tells the story of who I am, without being overpowered by those emotions. It can show those feelings, as well as the beauty – the joy, the love, the excitement, and the peace – that shows when He shines His light through me. He has already conquered, and will keep on conquering. I need only to be still.   

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Why I Decided To Stop Breastfeeding (And You Can, Too)

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Breast is best. Did you know? Breast is best. Everyone tells you that. If you don’t know that, you must be totally secluded from women or parents or doctors.

But if you ask me, sometimes, breast isn’t always best.

There. I said it. For me, breastfeeding has been difficult. I have three children, and I have breastfed all of them for various amounts of time. Two nursed only a few weeks, and the rest of the time were fed with bottles of expressed milk or formula. My middle child managed to nurse for 8 months (an incredible accomplishment for both of us), and even though I was also pumping, my supply wasn’t enough for that to be his only nourishment.

I’ve taken supplements, consumed my weight in water, eaten healthfully and plentifully, done everything I could to keep my supply up… It’s just never worked. For me, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t keep up with my hungry babies. And in my household, a hungry baby made for an angry baby, which made for stressed mom, which made for upset dad, and very little sleep for all of us. Our sanity was going out the window, so we threw “Breast is best” to the wind, and supplemented with formula. Our babies grew and grew, were happier and happier, are rarely sick and the most fun and intelligent kiddos I know.

Just this week, as my youngest turned four months old, I had a difficult conversation with Hubby. “I’m tired,” I said tearfully. “I’m stressed, and I want those two hours of my day back.” Those two hours I spend pumping. Those were two hours that I could be spending time with my children, writing, reading, showering, folding laundry, or SLEEPING were always sacrificed to the milk machine. I slaved at the pump to get less than three bottles a day for my little guy (who eats like a horse – what will I do when he’s a teenager?!) when I could be feeding him formula and actually playing with him during those times. Instead, my free moments while the kids were asleep, at school, or playing with Daddy were spent in my room getting a few ounces of what everyone told me was the best thing for my child.

So I stopped.

I stopped my supplements. I stopped charting my water intake. I stopped stressing about a schedule. I weaned myself off the pump.

Y’all, it feels great. I’ve gotten more sleep, spent more time with Hubby and the kids, and I’m less stressed about how I’m going to plan those hours into my day. Breast was only best for so long… and then it wasn’t anymore. Don’t crack under the pressure if it’s not working for you. I’m not staying don’t try – you absolutely should give it a shot. For so many, it is the best. But if it’s not, that’s okay. You’re not broken and neither is your child. There are other ways to nourish them, and certainly other ways to bond with them. You do you, mamas, however it works. That is the best.

mommyhood

And She’s Gone for the Weekend

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Today, I sent my daughter off for the weekend with her grandparents to their lake house. This is the first time that she’s been away from us that long while she isn’t at home. The other times she has stayed home and we’ve gone away. Her first big trip!

She was so excited all morning that she couldn’t even think about anything else for more than a few seconds. She reminded me every couple of minutes that Annie was going to pick her up and take her to the lake… as if I was forgetting. 

When the time actually came to pack her bag and wait for Annie to arrive, she was dashing about, helping me get things. She barely even wanted to give hugs and kisses before she left. It was a little sad for me that it was so easy for her to leave, but I guess that’s what we want as parents, right? A child who is confident and trusts in her loved ones, who knows that we wouldn’t make decisions that weren’t good for her and that she will be fine when she’s in our care.  

 We’ve been getting updates every so often. Funny things she says, cute pictures, side notes about how her nap went. I’m happy, really. I’m enjoying my boys and a tiny bit less noise. I know EK is having an amazing time. She loves the lake; she loves her Annie and Gon Gon. But I miss her, ya know? Her little funny quips and her messy hair. She’s a little piece of me, a little piece of her dad – and she’s perfect. 

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, siblings

Currently 

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Hey, y’all! I might be a day late on joining my usual Currently link up, but better late than never, right? I’m joining Becky at Choose Happy and the other fabulous bloggers to bring you this week’s Currently. Join us to let us know what’s going on with you currently!

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Enjoying || some sweet moments between all the siblings. EK and j have been getting along a little better (I’m scared to type that for fear it’ll make it stop) and D has been getting some incredibly sweet snuggles from both of them. Lots of hugging and kissing around here, y’all.

  
  
Hoping || to get a few specific pictures this week. As of right now, the only picture of the five of us is yesterday’s epic selfie (below), and I’ve only got one (okay) picture of the three kids. Part of me is saying, “Eh, there’s a lifetime to get those pictures.” But the rest of me wants at least one while D is still tiny! Here’s hoping I get a better one than this:

 Trying || to stick to a schedule. Having a newborn is tough when they’re supposed to eat every two hours. Try keeping up with that while also making sure the other two are entertained and have what they need, as well as pumping a couple of extra times a day to keep my supply up? Bordering on impossible. To heck with laundry and dishes. Yikes.

Thankful for || an incredible husband who’s been taking a late-night shift with D to let me get some sleep early on in the night. He’s a rockstar, y’all.

Reading || the last bit of the Maze Runner series. I’m in the book that is actually a prequel to the rest of the books… so I’m getting that back story I was craving the whole time! When I finish this, I’ll be working on Loving the Little Years  and starting something else to be my “pleasure reading”. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Well, that’s all for now. Please comment and let me know what you’re up to!

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

Sometimes, cliches are stupid. You hear them, and you know they’re outdated, or they’re totally unrelated to how you’re actually feeling. (Everything happens for a reason and good things come to those who wait.) Other times, cliches are totally on par. (Two wrongs don’t make a right and laughter is the best medicine.) One cliche I’ve been hearing a lot recently (as in, ever since I became a mom) and I unfortunately agree with is this: The days are long, but the years are short.
Oh my, but the days are indeed long. They start earlier and earlier (can you say toddlers get up with the sun?) and they seem to be ending later and later. Here’s another cliche on this same note: Sleep is for the weak! Oh, that’s not a cliche? That’s just a stupid thing people say? Oh. You’re right. Anyway…

As I’m surviving my long days of diapers, chores, to-do lists, crying and clinging, I sometimes get frustrated. When naps don’t go as planned, my outings are cut short by tantrums, or the lovingly-prepared meals hit the dirty floor (for the second time), I can’t want to cash in my chips and call it a day, even if I’m in the hole.

But what about the second part? That bit about years being short… it surely hits home when I look around and see how time has flown. My daughter is a tall, lanky three. She’s twice as talkative as she was just a few short months ago, and today at the pool she was jumping off the diving board. I’m a proud mama bear, but I’m weeping on the inside, pining for her days of fat-cheeked giggles and learning to crawl.

I’m not really writing this to be like the old lady at the grocery store who tells you how much “you’ll miss this”. I’m not even writing it to say you should “enjoy the little moments”. I’m just writing it to say that, by God, you’re right. The days are long as hell sometimes. They’re so long and tedious that you’ll cry for a glass of wine and your pillow. But the years are truly short. They’re so short and sweet that you’ll be floored by how quickly the milestones are passing. Motherhood is full of these paradoxes and imbalances. So alright, I’ll say it. You might as well know that “you’ll miss this” and you should “enjoy the little moments” before they’re too quickly gone. Look for the fun in your long days, and savor all the moments you can.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails, women

He Will Come Through

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

 After a particularly difficult day with my three-year-old (that wasn’t helped by a fussy one-and-a-half-year-old who thinks it’s time to learn how to throw a proper tantrum), it was finally bedtime, and I was exhausted. I could tell the kids had had enough of me, and I had had enough of them. I hate those days that I haven’t done my best. I wasn’t the best mom to them. I didn’t use the kindest words or have the most patience – or honestly, much patience at all. The fun things I planned seemed to go awry almost immediately. Meals I prepared weren’t liked. The way I tried to fix problems didn’t work. Everything just… sucked.

After my son was down in his crib, I went into my daughter’s room. I said, “You know that I love you, right?” Head nods… with a smile, even! “You know that even when I’m angry or I’m sad, I still love you?” More nodding and smiling… then a jump into my arms.

Y’all, I couldn’t buy that forgiveness. I couldn’t buy that redemption from my difficult, beloved daughter at the end of a crappy day. I melted, tears dripping into her hair, thankful beyond words for the most perfect example of “forgive and forget”. She reminded me that though I fail, I’m still her mama, and she still wants and needs my love.

Just like her forgiveness, I also needed forgiveness for a failed day. My sin was so heavy, weighing on my mind and my heart, and my guilt was even worse. I needed a forgiving Father to smile and nod and tell me He still loved me, too. I hit my knees at the end of that day, begging Him to drag me out of the rut I couldn’t get out of on my own, begging for a reset of my attitude. He comes through, y’all. If you let Him, He comes through. It’s not easy, and often, it’s not pretty. But He comes through.

mommyhood, pregnancy, siblings

5 Predictions About Life With 3 Kids

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!
As I’m down to my last couple of weeks before baby #3 arrives, I am forced to think of what life will be like when he gets here. With a 3 year old, a 1 1/2 year old, and a newborn, I think it’s safe to say craziness is about to ensue. Here are a few more predictions of what might be happening:

There will be an (obvious) increase in laundry. I already do approximately one load per day with the four of us. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I do one complete load every single day… it often means I do five loads in one day, and take a few days off. But it would seem as though adding a person (no matter how tiny) will make it even more so. For instance, if this kid is like my other two, there will be one more swaddle per day to wash, and that’ll basically be an entire load a week of just swaddles. Sheesh.

There will be fewer showers/baths. I’m guessing I’ll cheat on the kids’ bedtime routine some nights (usually we do baths just before bed) and take baths out of the equation. I probably won’t shower as often, due to another person clinging to me. All around, that’s some water saved (that we’ll use on laundry).

We will be eating more takeout. What can I say? It’s just easier. Am I right? We can try to keep it healthy… you know… takeout salad and such.

I will be (even more) forgetful. I’m fully prepared to enter into the stage of “Did I brush my teeth today?” and “I thought I put my car keys right here!” and “When exactly is the last time I shaved my legs?” This pregnancy has been an indicator of that. It happens a little more with every kid, they say (at least I think they do). Pregnancy brain is nothing to joke about, but when I’m keeping up with three younguns, I just can’t be surprised that I’m still looking for the… for the… well, for whatever it is I’m always losing.

My heart will be too full to describe. Y’all, I already know this one is true. I’m already full-to-bursting with love for these little guys, so I can’t imagine what meeting the next one will do. I may just explode with happiness! You know, after I remember where I keep the coffee cups and wade my way through the umpteenth load of laundry. Love. It’ll all be about love.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, siblings

When am I not a “new mom” anymore?

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I spend a lot of time reading advice for new moms, or reading things for new parents. Still, even expecting baby #3, I’m doing this. It must be because I know that I haven’t done everything perfectly. It must be because I’m still new at having a three-year-old. It must be because I’m fairly new to having two kids. I’ll be new to having a third kid (in two months). There’s always something we’re going to be new at. Can you really be a seasoned mom at everything? 

 Whether you’re a new mom because you just delivered your first, or you’re a long-time mom who has a few adult children, there’s always something to remind you you haven’t done everything yet. Taking your first vacation as a family of four can be as brand new (and difficult) as the day you brought your first home from the hospital. Moving your toddler to a big boy bed can be like having a newborn again who won’t sleep through the night. First middle school dance, first high school prom, and first college formal sound similar, but require different tools (and feelings) in your mama arsenal. Even doing the same thing with each of your children can be like night and day. Sending a child to college is different with every child, since they’re all going off to different schools in different locations in different situations. Marrying off a daughter feels different than marrying off a son, so if you’ve done one, you might be new at the other. Sending off or marrying off your oldest is a totally different experience, I’m sure, than doing so with your youngest.

This year, my big thing I was new at was being a stay at home mom. I’ve been learning every day (every.single.day.) how to walk in this role effectively, gracefully, and comfortably. This is a big one for me. I identified a lot as a working mom for my first two years of motherhood. I had friends who did it that I could get advice from and vent to about things. I had the best of all possible situations, because my daughter (and then my son) stayed home with Daddy. There were still frustrations, sad things, and hard things about not being home with them. And, there were also great things about it.

Sorry I’m not sorry I just wrote that.

There were things like missing the tantrums, not being super stressed about missed naps, not seeing them get their shots at the doctor, or being able to kiss the sick kid on the head, and go to work, instead of dread a fussy day of remembering to give doses of Tylenol on time. I loved having a purpose outside of the home. I still do. I work part-time now (roughly 5-8 hours a week outside the home and several more inside) and I love having that outlet, that reason to leave the house, and the fact that I have the best of both worlds: a job that I love, and the opportunity to spend tons of time with my kids.

But the newness of being a SAHM hasn’t worn off. My kids are always entering new phases in their development, and I’m always catching up and learning the newest thing they do. My daughter is potty-training. One can NEVER be an expert at potty-training. That mess is REAL, y’all (emphasis on mess). My son has learned to climb up and down and all over everything, even in ways my daughter still doesn’t care to do. It’s taken baby-proofing and knowing where he is at all times to a whole other level (think never being alone because I have to be watching him). I’m still new at it. I’ll probably feel, for a little while, new at having a newborn, because breastfeeding, sleep cycles, teething, and growth patterns are different with every baby, and I’m sure the third baby won’t have as much of my undivided attention as even my second one did. It’s just the nature of the beast – no pun intended.

When you feel like you’re new at something, it’s okay. You’ll figure it out. It’s in your nature to find the best way somehow. We’re built for it. You have some motherly instincts, down in there somewhere – sometimes I really felt like I was digging to find mine. But I love my kids. And that makes me a good mom, no matter what stage of mothering I’m in.

mommyhood, siblings

Emotional, Evolving, Steadfast Motherhood

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Mothers.

If you could have told me about the feels you have when you join their ranks, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I’ve cried at silly things my whole life – and of course that hasn’t changed. Books, movies, heartfelt cards and sappy songs all make me cry a little and always have. But moments… they’re what make me tear up nowadays. Little moments, like when my daughter reaches out to hold my hand while we watch a show before bed. Or last night, when Hubby kissed me goodbye as he was leaving for work, my son turned in my lap to give me a smooch on the lips as well. I couldn’t have made that moment up. I cried right there on the spot.

These moments of motherhood are precious and fleeting. They feel numerous and few all at the same time. They can sometimes be trumped by moments of frustration or hurry or tiredness. They can be a little tiny thing that happens every day, and we don’t realize just how magical it is until it stops. Those moments of a milk-drunk newborn as you lay his limp body in the bassinet. The early giggles of an infant whose chubby cheeks jiggle with every laugh. The first few times your child forms the words “I love you.”

In my three short years of motherhood, I am amazed by what I am constantly learning, and doing, and already missing. I am beside myself with excitement over having a new baby in the house again in three months, but I still have a little sadness mingled with my pride when I think about how big my first two “babies” are now. I am thrilled by my children’s personalities and abilities. I am bursting with happiness when I’m simply watching them be themselves.

I am blessed by these kids. I am blessed by the opportunity to be their mom. I am terrified by the responsibility to raise them to be kind and compassionate, not to mention functioning members of society. I am scared to death for them to grow up and not need me anymore. My identity is wrapped up in them without being solely theirs. I am a mother. I’ve been a mother of babies. I am the mother of toddlers. I will be the mother of three. I will be the mother of teenagers, of college students, of adults. I will be a grandmother. Our situation is constantly changing, yet always steady. I am their mother. The mother of my children. The mother of my amazing, beautiful, silly, growing, changing, sometimes frustrating and always loved children.

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Elena Kathleen, at one day old.The little gal who made me a mama.
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Joseph Stevens, at one day old, meeting his big sister.