This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!
When Hubby and I got engaged, we both, separately and together, got bits of advice from tons of people, such as “When you’re married, spontaneity stops.” or “Your life is over.” or “You don’t have as much fun.” For us, that simply wasn’t true. We didn’t stop hanging out with our single friends, we didn’t stop going out and partying, and we didn’t feel like our lives were over. Quite the opposite, actually.
There’s been a little meme floating around that I’ve seen floating around the Internet recently:
It’s a bit cheesy, but I love it! I think it’s very true for me… I would’ve loved to not date the guys who didn’t treat me well or weren’t matched well with me. I would’ve loved to not have to wait as a single gal while my friends started finding their forevers. I would’ve loved to know Hubby was right there, beside me, long before he was there in reality.
But when we got married, life started. I was thrilled to come home to him each day, knowing that he loved me well and we would do something fun together that evening – because anything I did with him was fun. We got to know each other better and better, and loved each other more and more. We traveled, worked and played. We talked of buying a home and starting a family, and then we did those things! All the while he has prayed for me and loved me well, even in the moments that I don’t do the same for him.
Do we have the perfect marriage? No, I’m sure we don’t. There are always things to work on, and our lives are constantly changing. But a marriage is made of choices. I can choose to be frustrated first, or be understanding first. I can choose to say unkind words, or kind ones. I can choose to believe the best in my husband. I can choose to raise the bar and know he will reach it, because he’s awesome and as his wife, I can encourage and support him.
I know that with six years under our belts, we aren’t veterans at marriage, or qualified to give advice. But I can give encouragement: marriage is a gift, and love is a choice. If you treat them as such, you’ll probably find that they’re easier and more fun than you expected. Even with your third kid on the way, drowning in laundry, doing your best to keep up with just the basics of life, you can be ridiculously happy in your marriage, and genuinely look forward to the rest of your lives together.