Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! It might be afternoon, but it’s still a good time for a few funnies! Hope you enjoy this week’s Things Toddlers Say! 

 Me: How did you get so smart?
EK: It’s cause I read so many books.
Me: Yes. Yes it is.

EK: If a monster was here, you could call an ambulance. Then they would come and make it go away. (makes the siren noise)
Me: We actually call the police to make scary or bad things go away. An ambulance is for when people are sick and need to go to the hospital.
EK: Oh no! Don’t get sick! I don’t wanna see an ambulance!

EK: I wanna watch menus!
Me, 20 minutes later: Oooooh, minions!

I was hearing J say, “Push me, mom!” from the hallway. When I went out to look, he was patiently waiting in his “boat.”

aka baby bathtub.

EK currently has an obsession with road names. It’s equal parts cute and sort annoying. When we’re in the car, she asks every 20 feet “what road this is”. The other morning, she was waiting for her grandmother to pick her up, peeking out the mail slot and saying, “There are so many cars driving on (our road) but none of them are Annie!”

J, unable to open the microwave: I can’t reach it, mommy!
Me, handing him the warm milk from inside: Here you go, sweetie.
J: Good job, mommy! You’re so big!
Me: Thanks, buddy.

J: Come on, EK! Come with me!
EK: Hang on a second, J. I’m getting all clothesed (pronounced closed) up.
Me: *die laughing*

J: I got enough dinner in the eat!

J, at bedtime, organizing his bed buddies: Frog- ribbit! Dog- woof! Buzz Lightyear- to the rescue!

Ever since Hubby made EK her “birdie nest” to sleep in on the floor at my mom’s house, she’s been obsessed with being a baby bird. She calls me “mama bird” and Hubby “daddy bird”. She tried to call J, “baby bird” and he said, “No! I’m a Joe Joe bird!” They, of course, don’t realize that I thought it was hilarious because it sounded like “do-do bird” when he said it.

We are in the car, and D is crying. J starts singing, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” repeatedly, to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle”.

Having dinner with friends…
EK, pointing at my bourbon and ginger ale: Mom, is that fire water?
Me: What?! Ryan, did you teach her that?!
Hubby: Uh, yeah.
Me: I’m not drinking moonshine!

Well, that’s it for now! Tomorrow is EK’s birthday, so we’ll have a special birthday edition next week!

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