Things Toddlers Say

You guys. I need to set up a recorder  n my kitchen. Or maybe the car. I can’t even write down all the hilarious things they come up with. And also, Hubby now calls these verbal typos. I’m dying.


J, all day long: Mommy, um, I luf you. Daddy, um, I luf you.
J: Can I have some pret-thels?
Me: Sure. EK did you finish yours?
EK: No.
Me: Can you share some with J?
EK: Sure. J, be sure to eat it like this. (Shows him the right way to eat a pretzel.)

We have a little friend named Nicholas. J calls him Necklaces.

EK: Mom! Look at me! (Looking through the holes in her pretzel.)
J: Mom! Look a’ me! (Balancing a pretzel on his nose.)

J: Ry-C’s just like rice! Et al. Ice cream’s just like ice!

Watching Zootopia, when they talk about blueberries from Judy’s farm…
J: Mom, can I have some blueberries?
Me: It’s bedtime, sweetie. You can have them in the morning.
J: What about raspberries?

We’ve been having a lot of conversations about our favorites colors. EK seems to think that it’s important for everyone to have an actual favorite. She’s been oscillating between pink and white the past few days. She recently told me, “I’ve decided to like white. And I think it’s okay.” Very important decision, folks.

J: Mama, can we have strawberry and blueberry panpakes for breakfast?
Me: Gonna make it happen…

Me, tossing French fries into the back seat: Catch, J!
J: I got it, Mom! You winned!

EK, when I hand her some milk: Mom, is this almond milk?
Me: ….no?

J: Where’s EK?
Me: She’s spending the night with Necie.
J: We gotta get in he car and go look for Necie’s house.

J’s cliff notes on the story of Jonah: God told the people, “Don’t do bad things! Don’t do bad things!” And there was a bad storm, like I saw a storm! And Jonah got in that krill’s belly.
(He mixes up whale and krill ever since Finding Dory.)

EK: When I was at Necie’s, I ate two apples and a whole thing of Minions!
Me: What are Minions that you eat?
EK: Bananas!

Me: Singing in a silly voice
EK: Mom, your voice sounds a little cranky. I think you have a frog in our throat. You should take a nap for a second.

So what are your kids saying? Are they are rudely candid as mine?

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