This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

I’ve been a mom for four and a half years. It’s been about that long since I’ve had a night’s sleep that was uninterrupted. Even if my kids aren’t the ones that wake me, my brain is on overdrive, wondering if my to-do list was accomplished, hearing phantom baby cries, or already worrying about the things happening the next day. I don’t always wake up in the middle of the night with a baby, but I almost always wake up with at least a little stress. Here are a few thoughts I might have, if I wake at 4:30am…

1. Ugh. I have to be up so soon.

2. Did I ever move those clothes into the dryer?

3. I think we’re out of milk!

4. How is it possible that he snores so loudly?

5. Was that a baby I just heard?

6. I can’t forget to make the appointment for the baby’s check up.

7. When did she come upstairs? I’d take her back to her room, but she’s fast asleep. I guess one night is fine.

8. I thought the night sweats would be over by now.

9. I remembered to turn off the oven after dinner. I’m sure I did.

10. I definitely hear the baby.

11. Okay, we need milk, bananas, tomatoes, and bread. I should probably get up and write that down. But my body is sooooo heavyyyyy…

12. I wonder what happened at the end of that episode? I must’ve fallen asleep.

13. I just can’t get comfortable!

14. I’ve got to pee, too. Maybe I should just get up.

15. I guess the baby is quiet now, so I’m going to hold it.

16. Okay, count the sheep. One. Two. Three…

17. Thirty-one, thirty-two…

18. How many more minutes till my alarm goes off?

19. I guess if I’m not going to sleep, I could squeeze in a run before everyone wakes up.

20. Actually, I’m pretty sleepy now…

And then, I bet you can guess what happens. I finally doze off, somewhere in the ballpark of 6:00am, and then it just isn’t very long until there’s a toddler stomping up the stairs, or  a baby shouting “Mama!”