Happy Tuesday, everyone! Does it feel like fall where you are? NC had some serious rain yesterday, but the rest of this week will make up for it! Here are the funnies for the week!

EK, putting a play blood pressure cuff on my arm: Oh no! You’re 29/61 miles strong!

J, right after he woke up: I can’t walk. I can’t breathe. I can’t even walk!
Spoiler: He was both walking and breathing at the time.

D: I want a I love!
Me: What?
D: I want a I love!
Me: Oh. An olive.

Friend: Do you know when your birthday is?
J: Some days it’s after Christmas.

EK was trying to spell out aloud a letter she wrote me (with help) by saying the letters from each word all in a row, with no pauses. She got through a sentence or so (that I managed to follow, surprisingly) and then J shut her down: Okay, that’s all the letters you have to say.

J: You guys are special to me. And we’re special to God.
Everyone: Aww!

EK sneezed and had some snot come out. J responded with: Well, that was a disaster.

Me: Can you blow them a kiss?
D, blowing a kiss with the hand no holding his cup: Mmmmmah! (Pause) Wait! Other hand! Mmmmmah!

EK on the policy about library books at school: Two, if you buy three, you can’t bring the fifth one home.

What are your kids saying these days?