Category Archives: faith

faith, holidays, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Slow Down.

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Y’all. Time is flying. Weather is cooling, decorations are twinkling, and the days go by so quickly! That could have a little bit to do with the fact that the sun is only up for ten hours, but eh… who is paying attention to that?

This season of waiting, of already and not yet has even more meaning this year. Not only are we celebrating the coming of Christ as a helpless babe, but we are also celebrating Christmas… a first christmas for D, a second for J (and likely his first in memory) and a fourth for EK (and she is all about the traditions since she remembers some things from last year). 

We also have parties, church services and gigs to plan for. This is all in addition to leaving town all of next weekend, and leaving the kids with my parents. Hubby’s cousin is getting married, and I am turning 30. It just seemed like the right time. But what will we be missing when we go?

EK remembers our advent calendar each day, and understands when we tell her something special is happening. For instance, tomorrow we have breakfast with Santa with Hubby’s family, followed by Disney on Ice with some dear friends. It makes for a busy day, but a wonderful time  for our kids. I am just as excited as they are! 

But there is some trepidation there. With our littles, it’s proven to be hard to get anywhere, much less on time. It’s hard to pack everything we need, feed everyone on time, and let everyone get their rest when they need it. I know this is a season, and a short one in the grand scheme, but I am lost in the details. 

I am struggling to not lose sight of the important things, as I cross off my to-do list, see my gift-buying list get shorter, and attend more events than I ever thought possible. How did I get so busy? Didn’t I decide to stay home so that life could be more simple? It just seems more hectic as we get closer to Christmas. 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way… I can’t be. Others have full plates or young children or both. All parents balance their work and home lives, and try to make Christmas magical for the children. But as life gets crazier, I find myself pining for morning pajama dance parties, pb&j lunches and movie-watching evenings. I just want to relax and read Christmas stories with my family, and there doesn’t seem to be time. 

So here, in the eleventh hour, I choose to slow down. I’m not adding anything else to my full calendar, or looking for any other happenings. I want to watch Christmas movies more evenings than not. I want to drink hot chocolate. I want to drive around our neighborhood, looking for lights. I’ll unplug, bake cookies, take naps, and read those Christmas books over and over. My kids will love it, because they love slow time with us. They’re not begging to travel or go to events. They’re not asking for fancy toys and huge presents (yet, anyway). I will slow down and enjoy this magical time of twinkly lights, sugary treats, family and friends, and the baby Jesus’ birth. We all need it. We all need love and grace and hope that even in a busy, and sometimes scary world, there are good things. 

faith, holidays, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Trimming the Tree: Thought Processes of Preschoolers

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I was so excited this year to get my Christmas decorations out and spend an evening with my family trimming the tree. Advent is my favorite time of the year and I love starting the season with music and lights and family.

I got box after box of carefully wrapped decorations from the attic, as visions of sugar plums danced in my head, and as my mother forcibly held my almost 2 year old son back from climbing the ladder after me. My 3 1/2 year old daughter, well-acquainted with the magic of Christmas, danced around the room, alternately shouting about how excited she was about the artaments and shouting at her brother to not break them.

We unwrapped the shiny, sparkly goodies and helped the first round of them get on the tree. I put the most fragile as high as I could, and let the kids do what they could reach. J quickly lost interest upon learning that actually putting the string around a branch was difficult, and resorted to pushing all the buttons on the ones that made noise (cue the off-key renditions of Disney songs and light shows that could cause seizures).

Having only broken a couple of ornaments so far, I felt like it was going well. The next day, however, as I admired our handiwork, I noticed a few things. This is what my preschoolers must’ve thought:

First of all, ornaments look best on the bottom of the tree. Either that or they didn’t bother to reach above their waistlines. Clusters of ornaments hang at my knee level and below, mostly including the “fun ones” or ones that my daughter made.

Secondly, once a kid got hooked on one branch, it had to have at least four ornaments before moving on to the next one. Branches are weighed down so heavily that I’ve moved several ornaments off to relieve pressure.

Third, similar ornaments must be hung together. If they came in a set together, they were meant to be hung near each other. Why spread them out evenly? (Close proximity of polka dot hats and silver garlic blubs – thanks Hubby for pointing that shape out.)

Lastly, the tree is not the only place for ornaments. The kitchen table, nightstands, and the middle of the floor are all acceptable places for tree ornaments to be residing. Note: if they make noise, they’re in a kid’s hand all the time.

All in all, I kinda dig it. I can have a tree worthy of Southern Living when I’m an empty-nester.

faith, holidays, mommyhood, random thoughts

What I’m Thankful For This Year

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I try to be thankful every day. As I’m sure you know, some days it’s easier than others. I spent the last couple of weeks trying to do small kindnesses, just paying a little love forward. It was wonderful to see the way it changed someone’s attitude sometimes, and the times I didn’t see it, it was good to know that someone would be blessed by what I had done. We are blessed to be a blessing!

This year, I’ve posted pictures in my Instagram every day of things that in thankful for, and they’ve often just been spur of the moment things, however I was feeling right then. But here’s a list for you, of a few things that are gratefully heavy on my heart today.

 My family. I mean the ones that brought me into this world and raised me. I have incredibly hardworking and loving parents, an awesome brother who I am glad to say I’m friends with, a sweet, sweet grandmother (and three other grandparents in heaven who I miss). I have aunts and uncles and cousins galore, all who I wish I saw more often, but they’re all truly wonderful. Family is awesome, y’all.

My family. NOW I’m talking about the family I’ve started… Starting with the most wonderful husband in the world, who loves me so well each and every day, even when I’m grumpy. I also have three healthy and happy children, all of whom we are able to feed, clothe, teach and treasure. Nothing is better than that.

My home. We live in a big house that keeps us dry and warm. That’s an incredible blessing. Not to mention, it’s also a safe place for our family and friends, and we have already, in our five years in it, made wonderful memories here.

My education. My parents worked hard to get me the best education available where we lived, and then send me on to college. This is a privilege and I am so thankful for it.

My town. Y’all, Winston-Salem is the coolest. It’s a great community full of innovative and excited people and I love living here.

My church. Reynolda has changed my life in so many ways, and I will always be grateful. The people there are nothing short of fantastic, loving, and grace-filled. They are my people. 

Those are just a few things… just a start. What are you thankful for this holiday?

faith, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

He Is Secure, Even If I’m Not

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!  

 This weekend, unbeknownst to me, Hubby transitioned my little tiny baby J into his big boy bed.

Okay, so he’s not so tiny. But he’s still a baby, right?!

J won’t be two till just after Christmas, and even though he has an actually tiny baby brother, he himself is still a baby. A toddler, maybe, but in many ways still a baby. He needs snuggles and has warm milk at nap time and won’t use the potty and should still be contained in his crib. 

But while I was out on Saturday, Christmas shopping with my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law, Hubby put J down for a nap in the queen-sized bed (that’s already in his room for lack of another place to put it). We had been talking about moving him into it, and letting J get used to the idea, but hadn’t made any real plan for when it would happen.

With EK, we tried to move her to a big girl bed too early. We were preparing for J’s arrival, and just couldn’t get her to stay in her big girl room, so she slept in his nursery even after he was a couple of weeks old. She wasn’t ready, and she was not going to sleep there until she decided it was time.

Now on Saturday (with no warning, may I add), I just received a picture text from Hubby of the video monitor, pointed at the bed, with a tiny spot of J somewhere near the headboard. I couldn’t believe it! Tears came to my eyes when I thought of my little baby boy, asleep in that giant bed, without me snuggling next to him. Surely he can’t be ready! He must feel so scared alone in that huge bed!

But he wasn’t scared or sad. He was ready. I was the one who wasn’t.

Upon further conversation, I learned that he didn’t go immediately to sleep, but he slept soundly once he was. He has even spent two nights and another nap in the bed, only escaping the room a couple of times before drifting off.

He isn’t even my last baby, but I’m not ready to lose the crib. What if he misses it? What if he asks to sleep there? But it’s my security blanket, not his. I’m the one that wants to hold him back. But he knows that his needs will be met, his fears will be stilled, and he can be brave because he is loved and taken care of. He is secure.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Napping Is My Jam

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

 My four month old son is (thankfully) a heavy sleeper during his naps. His siblings run loudly up and down the hall past his room. His brother even opens the door, runs in, and slams it shut. Through these things, he can always sleep. He heard those sounds in the womb, I suppose. Maybe they’re comforting noises. Either way, he’s snoring right through their laughter and their tears. Or another example is that when he eats right before his nap, he falls asleep so deeply that when I go to put him in the crib, his limbs are all floppy. I could basically dump him in there any old way, and he’d stay asleep. No amount of jostling between the rocking chair and the crib would jolt him awake if he is ready for his nap. A good three hours later, I’m turning on lights, throwing off blankets and trying to wake him up.

But let’s just say that the children are all tucked in for the night, and I’m getting ready for bed. If I so much as creak a floorboard on the way to my room, or dare to use the ice maker to chill my water, he wakes up. “Mom! I heard you! That must mean it’s time to eat! Oh, and will you give me a fresh diaper, too? And maybe a long snuggle?”

Yes, my son. I will always snuggle you, take care of you, and love you. I will do these things to the best of my ability all day, every day. I will spend my life making your life (and your siblings’) the best I possibly can. However, I could be so much better at these things if I could just get a little sleep. So sweetie, my darling… please sleep through the night as heavily as you nap.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

I want to be like Nanny and Bump Bump.

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

This weekend, Hubby and I went to a family reunion of sorts. Many of his extended family members came in from all over to get together for the first time in several years, to catch up, meet new additions, and talk about family history. Hubby’s great-grandparents were the first generation, and the subsequent four generations were the ones together this weekend.

There were four generations of people talking (or learning) about Hubby’s great-grandparents,  Nanny and Bump Bump. Their children (our grandparents generation) told stories from their childhood about growing up in small town, North Carolina, saying things like “We still had horses and buggies.” and “Our phone number was only two digits.” When asked how they were taught as children about morals, ethics and faith, they all responded with the most amazing answer I could’ve imagined.

Nanny and Bump Bump's home
Nanny and Bump Bump’s home
They said they didn’t always have meaningful dinner conversations about such things, or learn lessons from being told what to do. They learned by watching their parents live with honesty, hard work, and kindness every single day. They watched their parents visit the bereaved, bring soup to the sick, and feed and clothe the poor. They saw coworkers and employees treated with respect, and strangers and friends alike welcomed into their home.

What better way to truly see how Jesus lived than to personally know someone who subscribes to His lifestyle? To be parents who truly embody love, kindness, hard work, and respect is the best way for our children to grow up appreciating and living out those very qualities. The idea that children learn more by watching than listening has been proven again and again, and especially to me now that I’m a parent.

I can tell that my children watch me closely every time I hear them grunt as they stoop to pick something up, or use my tone of voice when they tell each other what to do. It’s humbling to hear my “mom voice” come out of my daughter’s mouth with a little more force than I would’ve thought I used. I was convicted as I listened to Hubby’s grandmother lovingly talk about how amazing her parents were and how she remembered their good deeds and kind words.

Good deeds.

Kind words.

I can do that. One step at a time, one prayer at a time, I can do good deeds, speak kind words, and be an example for my children, and their children, and their children…

faith, holidays, mommyhood, random thoughts

Being Thankful

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On the heels of the #bloggerlifechallenge I did on Instagram in October, I’ve decided that this year’s November Thankfulness posts will also be on my Instagram account instead of Facebook. Some of them I’ll probably double post, but I really like Instagram as a platform for short, daily updates.  


I’ll continue using the #novemberthankfuls on each picture, and I’d love for you to join me! 

Gratefulness is something I value, and I try to teach it to my kids, even though they’re  young. I believe that changing your perspective to a thankful one can make you a happier person! So, it’s not too late to start. Just be thankful for one thing each day this month, and share about it! Follow me on Instagram to see mine!

faith, holidays, My Big Jesus, random thoughts

The In Between

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

And just like that, Halloween has come and gone. The gorgeous leaves are mostly on the ground. The chill from the morning is lasting further through the day, which is shorter than ever. Already, stores have their Christmas things out, hoping to snag the earliest of shoppers. We are about to give the rest of fall a complete pass, hopping, skipping and jumping to the holidays. In fact, I was planning a New Year’s Eve party with some friends a day or two ago.

But before we go on, before we hang our wreaths, or even dress the Thanksgiving turkey, let’s pause.

  
Pause here, on the brink of what’s to come. Linger here, in the in between, and savor the anticipation of your plans and parties and presents. Treasure this time before it all starts. Prepare your heart for the busyness, joy, stress, and laughter. We’re sure to have all of those feelings and more.

Maybe this holiday will be the first without a loved one. Perhaps it’ll be your first holiday with a new love, or your child’s first time to really enjoy all that the holidays can offer. Whatever your situation will be this holiday, it’s not quite here yet. You’ve still a moment… just a moment to bask in the delicate juxtaposition of the anticipation and the calm, the already and the not yet. 

Isn’t that what it’s all about, friends? The already of the beauty of His creation, the sweet moments where we know He is near… and the not yet – the waiting for Him to call us home, for His glory to be revealed and our earthly selves to be redeemed. This sweet, sweet in between is our entire life, folks. We are calling to Him, begging for redemption and hope, asking to be changed and renewed. And He is answering, with love and wholeness, He is answering us every second of every day, until we go home to Him. 

In this season, I beg you to pause. Find Him in the moments of quiet, of already and not yet. Seek His face as you put away and bring out, as you tear down and build up. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you, and bring you closer to Him. He will, y’all. He will. 

faith, holidays, mommyhood, random thoughts

A Mama’s Thoughts on Halloween

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When you have kids, there are all sorts of discussions about how to raise them. Will you be co-sleeping? Bottle or breast? As they grow, the questions change. When will you potty train? Homeschool or public or private? Can they attend sleep overs?

One thing that we talked about only briefly was whether or not we would celebrate Halloween. My husband’s family didn’t celebrate Halloween when he was young. In fact, in lieu of making him and his brothers feel left out for not dressing up or participating in parties and trick-or-treating, his parents packed them up and took them to DisneyWorld for a few days. And yes, I’d say I’d rather go to DisneyWorld than just go trick-or-treating down the block, but still.

We decided that if we approached Halloween the right way, our children wouldn’t be negatively affected by the holiday. Of course its origins aren’t exactly kid-friendly, but what the holiday has become is kid-friendly. If the focus is on fun, creative costumes, spending time with friends, choosing and decorating pumpkins, and eating candy, there is nothing wrong with that. If trick-or-treating is just a prankless way to show off costumes with friends, then we are headed in the right direction. We don’t need to focus on the scary things (especially the ones that aren’t even real) to enjoy our Halloween.

We have a few books we really like that are Halloween-themed. Little Owl’s Night, Five Little Pumpkins, and Room on the Broom (also a short cartoon you can find on Netflix!) are just a few of our favorites. Obviously, we also love “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” and Curious George’s “A Halloween Boo Fest” is always a winner. Even when it isn’t Halloween, we like watching “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (also obviously at Christmas time), “Coraline” and “The Corpse Bride”. (This is the part where I confess my undying love for all things Tim Burton.) We can have honest and open talks about what’s real and not real, and how we don’t need to be scared of most things in movies and books (children’s books, at least). I don’t want my kids to miss out on the entertainment value of fun movies and the love of reading they already have by greatly limiting their exposure.

So this weekend, you will find us all dressed up, visiting our church’s trunk or treat event, and trick-or-treating in our neighborhood with friends. What do you do around this time with your kids? Are there other books or movies you love for this time of year?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts

To the Dad at the Mexican Restaurant

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My family and a few friends were out at our favorite local Mexican restaurant. We decided to sit outside, what with the cool weather and five children in attendance. We were having a great time just sitting outside, guzzling cheese dip and margaritas.

At some point, I decided napkins weren’t doing the job getting my son’s hands clean from the cheese dip and refried beans. I decided to take him inside for an actual hand-washing.

When I got to the area where the restrooms were, I spotted a little girl, precious in her pink leotard and tutu, with legs crossed and anxious face, waiting with her dad for the men’s room to become available. And because my daughter has been that little girl before, I decided to take the chance.

“In a totally non-creepy way, would you like me to take your daughter to the bathroom?”

“Really? That would be great, actually. Um… she’s got to go number 2…”

“It’s alright. I can handle it.”

Cue me taking a stranger’s daughter to the bathroom, to go number 2, and all that that implies.

In that moment, it got me thinking. I really went out on a limb there! What if I had totally freaked that dad out? What if he had looked at my son, covered in beans, and said, “No way, Jose! You’re clearly a crazy woman!” But he didn’t. He saw me, son in tow, lending a helping hand. And they were both grateful.

What’s more is that we understood each other. I knew I’d just help that gal maneuver her leotard and help her wash her hands. He knew she’d get what she needed a lot quicker if she went with me. We both went out on a limb. And it worked out.

To that dad: Thanks for trusting in humanity. You gave me hope that I could do the same for my daughter. Thanks for being grateful later, when we were leaving and you asked your daughter to tell me “bye”. That was awesome. Parents helping parents is my favorite thing to see.