Category Archives: home

The Most Unlikely Guest

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus

Our house sometimes feels like grand central station.

We constantly come and go, and have friends, family members, babysitters, and sometimes others coming and going as well. We have what might be called an open door policy: people are welcome at most hours of most days. We host people several times a week, at different times of day, in various states of “clean” or “put together”.

But what we’ve realized is that people don’t care about dirty floors or a sink full of dishes. Well, most of them, thank goodness. They don’t care that I’ve typically got at least one kid clad only in underwear. They don’t mind that we’re just getting home, or preparing to leave, or that it’s bedtime and we need to be absent for twenty or thirty minutes. What they do care about is that they can come, just as crazy, flustered and broken as we are, and be welcomed. They can walk in, throw off their burdens and their self-consciousness and just be with us. We try to hold off on judgements and even advice-giving, and just show love, acceptance, and grace.

There are two reasons we do this. First, it’s what I would want someone to do for me. For example, when I show up to church on Sunday and Thursday mornings, I have two or three kids in tow, as well as all my belongings I’ll need for a morning of worship and work. I’m packing breakfast and activities for the kiddos, backpacks, jackets, my iPad and purse, waters for all, coffee for survival and whatever junk I’ve already acquired onto myself for the morning. If I came into an environment of shame, I’d crumble immediately. There would be no way to survive the next few hours without a group of people who love me, and know my situation as well as my heart. I need their grace and acceptance as I attempt to lead them – while wrangling my children and their breakfast.

The second reason is that Christ calls us into a spirit of hospitality, acceptance, love, and grace. He calls us to open our hearts, minds, homes and lives to ministry of all types. Working in a church or on a predetermined mission field is not the only way to minister to the masses. Sometimes, living life alongside someone, not hiding your blemishes and flaws, and genuinely loving someone is a bigger testament to what I believe and whom I represent than if I were to force Scriptures or sermons on a stranger, trying to convince them I knew what I was talking about. (Nothing against evangelism with strangers – just presenting another kind of evangelism opportunity.)

Hospitality can feel, at times, like too much work. But just presenting an opportunity for relationship to happen, together with people who either need or want to be a part of the message that’s told by your life can make a huge impact on even the most unlikely guest.

How to Achieve the Perfect Family Photo

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.

As you start thinking ahead to the holidays, you might be pondering ways to get the perfect family photograph. Whether you want to frame it as a gift for Grandma, or plaster it on a card to send to 500 of your closest friends, getting a perfect photo of your entire family is likely on your to-do list. If you’re like me, and you have young children, I have a few easy tips to make the process easier, and ensure a valuable, timeless product at the end of your session. You don’t want your Christmas card to look like mine did last year (see #2 – actually included on last year’s Christmas card). Here are my suggestions as you plan your endeavor to get the “perfect family photo”:

1. Hire a photographer. Like your mom, brother, or an unsuspecting stranger with an iPhone. This will ensure that the person taking the picture has the skills and equipment necessary to catch the perfect moment of a genuine group smile. (Or if you’re on a budget, invest in a selfie stick.)IMG_2199.jpg

2. Dress your brood well. First, make sure you give your kids coordinating names that will result in the same monogram for each child. Then, choose a neutral color for everyone to wear, and make sure each shirt is monogrammed in a coordinating “pop” color. It’s also important to wear hair bows, shoes, jewelry, belts, and scarves that match the monogram’s accent color. Finally, make sure you don’t eat in the outfit in which you plan to photograph. You wouldn’t want that marinara stain to ruin your Christmas card!img_0033

3. Strike a pose. Make sure each subject in the photo is being still, and smiling with just the right amount of teeth showing. Hands folded in laps and slight head tilts are recommended. Never allow movement while the pictures are being taken.DSC_0232.jpg

4. Keep your eyes open. To be certain that none of your photos include a blinking subject, make sure your family knows that blinking is not allowed. Pass the eyedrops around before you get started, so that there will be no need to blink to prevent dryness of the eye. (Note: this also prevents the eyes half-closed look, as though the subject is about to sneeze.)DSC_0269.jpg

5. Work the natural light. Morning and evening are the best times to take photos outside. Skip breakfast or dinner to ensure that the lighting is perfect. Tell those cranky, hungry children if they’d just smile, you could all go eat… and maybe have some of your own natural light.DSC_0186.jpg

6. Choose a few props. Pumpkins are always a nice choice for the fall, and beaches, snow, mountains, or lakes could be nice choices for other times of year, too! Be sure to bring things like these with you for the session.DSC_0026.jpg

7. Let your family be themselves. As long as it’s their happy, cute, lovey-dovey selves.DSC_0548.jpg

I hope that these simple tips help you get the perfect framer of your family!

Currently

Celebrating || Hubby’s birthday last Friday! His band played at our favorite pub for their ten year anniversary party, so the celebration was even bigger than normal! My parents were in town, and the kids got to hang out and party too, which is always fun! We were glad to celebrate Finnigan’s Wake AND Hubby!

Enjoying || cooler weather – finally! The afternoons are still warm enough to need short sleeves, but the mornings are delightfully chilly. I’ve even started a fire during breakfast, just to take the chill off! I don’t mind bundling up when I wake up, but my kids have complained about “freezing” when they get out of their beds. Just you wait, little babies!
Eating || pumpkin pancakes! We eat a lot of pancakes at our house, and so why wouldn’t I be adding some pumpkin in?! I typically just add pumpkin into our regular pancakes, instead of buying the pumpkin-flavored mix. They just taste better, they’re a little healthier, and I don’t have to add anything to my grocery list.

Making || SO. MANY. SOUPS. We have been experimenting and looking for recipes for different soups to try. Everyone in our family loves a good soup, we can usually make them fairly healthy, and it’s a less expensive way to feed everyone. On deck this week: butternut squash soup, and zuppa toscana (here’s a similar recipe, but we almost always just improvise).

Anticipating || a visit from my brother and his girlfriend this weekend! They’re coming to spend some time with us and the kids, and I’m REALLY excited. We haven’t gotten together in a couple of months (summer was busy for all of us) so I’m extra glad for some time with them! We plan to hit up the local pumpkin patch, and hopefully have a little Oktoberfest, among other fall-related activities!

What’s going on with you currently? What’s your favorite soup recipe for this time of year? Have you gotten your pumpkins yet, or celebrated Oktoberfest?

Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! I almost forgot it was Tuesday! Here are the things from the week that were a little humorous… Enjoy!

Talking about being outside…
Me: …and I think Daddy wants to blow the leaves, too.
EK: I want the leaves to stay where they are, because it’s fall!

Talking about someone saying something mean to EK at school…
Me: You know what? Sometimes people say mean things. I don’t know that boy, so I can’t really make him stop. But you can tell him the truth, and that he’s wrong, and walk away.
J: I can make him stop! I can do this thing! I will make him stop and get my light savers (sabers, obvi) and make him stop!
Me: 😍

J’s preschool teacher told me this: J is very smart. He is able to remember details from the stories we read the next day. Although, when we read about Noah, I asked the children, “What did God put up in the sky after the flood?” And J kept saying, “Duck!”

Peekaboo champion…
J: Here, D. I got your bee swaddle! Zzzzzzz…. (He puts it on D’s head.) Look, Mom! Where did D go?!

G-Daddy to EK: You have your shoes on the wrong feet.
EK, crossing her ankles: Now they’re on the right feet.

J: Mom! Look what I picked!
Me: A booger?
J: Yeah!

EK: I want Cinderella’s pink dress.
Me: But Cinderella doesn’t wear a pink dress.
EK: Yeah she does. She has one from her mice.
Me: Touché.

J, holding out his hand: I catched it!
Me: Caught what?
J: My spit!

Twenty-first century kids…
EK: I want to hear the train song.
J: We can’t pull it up.

Bee stings from two weeks ago…
EK: When we get home, I would like a little ice for my stung. It was a couple weeks ago but it’s still there and it’s still hurting. That night when our friends were here? It’s still a sting and it hurts.

Some tidbits from a ride home one evening…
J: I could see some lights that I could see!
EK: And I see some trees!
J: I see some broccolis, mama!
EK: Um, um, um, um, um… how many times did I say um, mom?!
J: I’m still hungry. How much am I hungry, mom?
EK: When will I be home?
All in the same convo.

After we put the kids to bed, and we’re getting to bed ourselves, J comes up, asking for extra snuggles. Hubby and I hop on the bed for a couple of minutes of snuggling. After a sweet 30 seconds, J exclaims, “Somebody stinks.” and hops off the bed. Um, goodnight?

What are your kids talking about? Are they as random as mine?

Currently

It’s October! Finally! I love October’s weather, colors, tastes and smells. Here’s a little about what’s been going on in my life…

Cheers-ing || Hubby’s cousin Liz and her new husband Taylor! Their wedding was a blast, and EK’s first that she will actually remember. She had a blast watching “the princess bride” (I made sure Liz knew that was her new title), dancing and eating cake. She also wore a dress I wore when I was her age. That was a special detail for me.

 Organizing || D’s new room! We recently moved him from the nursery (across the hall from our room) to his new room next to his siblings’ rooms. He’s farther away from us, but since he’s sleeping much better, that’s not a big deal. I think he likes being downstairs with his brother and sister, especially since it’s usually J that wakes him in the morning now. We’re mostly just taking out all of his clothes that he’s outgrown, organizing his diapers, sheets, etc, and putting some art on the walls.

Dreaming || of wearing the boots it’s still too warm to wear. Here in NC, it’s definitely cooled off, but it’s not quite fall weather yet. The afternoons are still quite warm, even if the mornings are chilly. If I don’t get a change to change midday (like usual) I have to layer to keep from sweating to death in the afternoon.

Buying || a couple of new dresses. Well, hopefully soon I will be. I don’t have much time to shop, and I’m always nervous to get things online. But many of my fall dresses are too big now (no complaints here!) and so I need a few dresses with sleeves to get me through the next two seasons. I don’t mind wearing a sleeveless dress with a cardigan, but many of mine are either thin (and I’d freeze when it gets cold), or they’re too summery-looking to put a sweater or boots with. Either way, I just need a couple more dresses that are long or 3/4 sleeve for church, or the occasional date night!

Listening || to Hillsong’s “Of Dirt and Grace” album. The tunes are stripped, mostly live versions, and I love it. The songs sound so much different, and much more worshipful, when they’re more realistic to how you’d do them in a worship setting versus in the studio. There are even songs that I didn’t think I liked until I heard them that way, and I like them now. It’s interesting how production can make such a huge difference.

Thanks to Anne In Residence and Jacqui at Drink the Day for hosting this month’s link up!

Today has been a typical Monday.


Y’all, it’s finally naptime. I woke up this morning wondering if I was sick; my body was achy and I was fatigued. J was in my bed at the actual crack of dawn, one weak sunbeam pouring through the crack in my curtains. He was soon followed by EK, who joined the Netflix-on-Mom’s-phone party, but at that point there were too many people in the bed. After sending them downstairs with a one-ton container of grapes, I crawled back in the bed to see if I could snooze.
It didn’t get better from there.

I’ve been on edge, grumpy, and just plain yuck all day. The big kids haven’t been much better, having gotten up so early. They haven’t eaten well, or played well together, which recently hasn’t been a problem. The baby was his usual bright self, but with 3x the normal number of poops and a mad diaper rash at the end of them.

In short, it’s a proverbial Monday.

People always talk about how Monday is the worst. The weekend is over, the workplace is full of grumpy people, the students are tired, the joy and freedom of being unscheduled and just having fun has worn off. But for my family, Monday is usually the best. Hubby and I never work on Mondays. The kids don’t have preschool, and so we try to make it a family fun day. We have lunch out. We go to the park. We watch a movie together. Whatever it looks like, we try to have fun together since there’s no agenda. But not today.

Monday jumped up and bit us all in the ass.

So now, in a blessed moment of quiet, Hubby is doing some dinner prep, and I’m sipping hot tea and writing. To pour out the words somehow gives my feelings a bit of validation, but it also begins to wash those feelings away. Giving myself an opportunity to complain a little can be the start to eradicating the bad feelings. Just need to get out of my own head, realize it’s my attitude (well, and the kids’) that’s causing most of the problems, and pull my bootstraps up to a different mindset.

Here’s to hot tea and quiet moments.

#amwriting

Currently

Happy Monday evening! Yesterday after church, I drove to Raleigh to spend a few days with my friend Katelyn. She had back surgery two weeks ago, and her hubs had to go back to work, but she wasn’t quite ready to be on her own. So here I am, babysitting my friend! We have been catching up, grading papers (she’s a third grade teacher!), resting, and meal planning for when I leave tomorrow evening. Hopefully she will be fed at least for the week! 

Anyway, here’s what’s been going on besides all this…

Pretending || to be a tourist in my home town! I read a post recently about having wanderlust, but not being able to travel, and being a tourist wherever you live instead. I liked the idea a lot, and so I mentioned it to Hubby and figured we would try it! Trying new restaurants, walking whenever we can, and taking pictures as if you were on vacation. In. The. Bag. 

Wearing || boots and skirts! It’s not really cool enough here to wear boots, but when I got dressed for church yesterday, I couldn’t say no to the boots. They were looking longingly at me… or maybe I imagined it. Either way, my pencil skirt and blouse NEEDED some boots to complete them. 

Enjoying || being back in the fall groove with my Thursday morning women’s service. They break for the summer, and so we’ve started back up, and this past Thursday, got to meet the new ladies in my small group!

Relishing || the last few days (weeks?) of summer sunshine. It’s already light for less hours a day, but the sun is still warm. And as much as I love fall, I also love the sun. So I’m soaking it up while it lasts. 


AND! Just because I noticed this post looks like I’m a mom of only two, here’s a picture of the baby, who could probably walk if he wanted to but he is too lazy. 

I hope your weekend treated you well, and that you have good things going on this week!

My Childhood Home

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.

A couple of weeks ago, my family and I traveled to my hometown for an end of summer visit with my parents. It was a normal trip – we played in the pool, saw my grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousin, ate at our favorite restaurants and generally relaxed. But there was an undertone of sadness, or maybe nostalgia, throughout my week.
You see, my parents are building a new house, and moving out of the one I grew up in. We moved into that house when we first moved to what I consider to be hometown. I was 7 at the time, and so it’s the only home I remember very well. The house is too big for my parents, as well as the land it sits on, and the effort that taking care of a pool requires. My brother and I are planted firmly (or at least I am) elsewhere, and only come back for a few days at a time. So they’re downsizing, and I don’t blame them.

But still, I shed a few tears throughout the week, thinking of coming “home” the next time, but not to my home. Sure, I’ll be coming back to the same town, the same restaurants, and the same people… but it will feel strange to pull into a different driveway, and sleep in a different room. I still sleep in my childhood bedroom when we go, even though now it has a king-sized bed and my husband sleeps in it, too.

All in all, I’m glad we went down one last time, to the home I have loved so well, to let my kids swim and play, snuggle in my mom’s bed in the mornings, and wreck the driveway with chalk drawings. I’m glad I got to ask for a few things to be saved when they were packing up, and to make sure there were pieces of my childhood heart that weren’t thrown away. A lot of life has happened in that house, and I have so many memories tucked away there. The perfect last week there was like a promise from the Lord that even though the house wouldn’t be there for me to visit, my memories there won’t fade.

6 Reasons I’m Excited for Fall

Last night, Hubby and I sat outside on the deck and played cards with friends. It was ever so pleasant outside, with the lights strung around us, the cicadas chirping and a slight breeze. I might’ve even had a chill by the time we went inside, hours after the sun had gone down. It just made me even more excited for the start of fall. It’s always been my favorite season, so I decided to share with you a few reasons why I’m so excited for it to get here.

School. This one is big, maybe even the biggest, for me. I’ve spent my entire life either as a student, a teacher, or now the parent of a student, and so my goal-making, fresh starting, and excitement of all things new happens in the fall. We begin a school year excited for new opportunities, anticipating fall and winter holidays, trips, and weather, throwing ourselves gladly into rigorous schedules, and making short- and long-term goals for ourselves and our families. As a worship leader, it’s the time that several more ministries and church-related things start back up. As the mom of young kids, it’s the time that I get a couple of mornings a week of free time (thanks, preschool!) to write, to read, and to be “me” instead of “mom”. Those things excite me almost more than anything else!

Boots. These are treasured items in my wardrobe, and yet something I just DO NOT wear when it’s warm outside. They’re the first thing I lose in the springtime, because I sweat just thinking about wearing them in the hot. But I sure do love pairing them with dresses, leggings, and skinny jeans. They are almost my only footwear during the cooler months.

Scarves. Just like boots, I’m not great at wearing them in the warm weather. I get a little claustrophobic with something around my neck if it’s hot. But I love scarves for their pops of color, multiple uses, and the way they can replace a statement necklace for outfit completion.

Candles. I love scented candles! I also love candlelight, and so when fall is here with the yummy cinnamon smells and even on to Advent for the Christmas tree scents, there’s usually a candle lit somewhere in my home.

Fires. Whether from a candle, a hearth, or a roaring bonfire outdoors, I love to be near a fire! I like bundling up, cuddling, drinking and dancing near a big fire. Hubby’s friends used to pick up discard trees from around their neighborhood after Christmas was over, and have a huge bonfire in early January. I think that’s a brilliant idea and will be reinstating it this year.

Leggings. I’ve recently started loving leggings even more than I did a few years ago, maybe because they’re so comfortable and practical to wear while pregnant. I have several funky patterns, bright colors, and tunics with which to pair them. And THEN, I toss on a pair of boots for the fall-style win.

Well, now you know what I’m looking forward to. What are your favorite things about fall?

Currently

How is it possible that summer is almost over? I can hardly believe that it’s halfway through August, and we are gearing up to get back in the schoolyear routine. I won’t lie – I love it. I love the routine, the schedule, the way my kids love school and the way it improves them to have it in their week. But before we get back into the swing of things, we’ve got a couple more weeks of being lazy, sweating, and relaxing. Here are a few things I’m currently up to…

Planning || my best friend’s baby shower! She’s due at the end of October, so I’m planning things with a few of our friends to celebrate her baby girl! I’m so excited! I’ll post about the shower after it happens – don’t want to ruin your surprise, Lauren!

Anticipating || Another friend’s gender reveal this weekend! I’ve never actually been to a gender reveal party, and the only “gender reveal” I did with any of my kids was let EK devour a cupcake with blue icing and post a photo on Facebook. So, needless to say, I’m excited to see what they choose to do! AND I can’t wait to start getting a few things for the baby, once I know the gender!

Stressing || about toddler life. J has proven more difficult (in some ways, at least) than EK was in regards to toddlerisms. For instance, he’s been doing this (disgusting) thing where he takes a bite of something, decides he doesn’t like it or want it, and just holds it in his mouth for a super long time. Like, up to half an hour. And it’s been different things… a bite of squash, a BBQ flavored potato chip, a spoonful of yogurt, a bite of okra. It’s not like it’s been spinach every single time or something. But it is GROSS and I’m over it. He also tantrums more often and more intensely than EK did. I’m certainly not giving in to it (like bribing him out of them), but it’s uncharted territory to figure out whether to just leave him in the living room floor, or move him to his room, or try to sit him in time out. He just goes belly-down and kicks his legs on the floor. Yikes.

Baking || a garden fresh squash bake! We had a few large squash from the garden, and I wanted a creative way to use them up. My big kids don’t really like squash, so I didn’t worry about choosing a recipe they would like. After scrolling through twenty or so recipes for “stuffed squash” of many varieties, I settled on making my own. I had read several with sausage, and several with a grain of some sort (quinoa, etc), so I stuck with sausage, and added grits, fresh tomatoes (also from the garden) and some pepper jack cheese I had in the fridge. It was delicious!


Well, that’s about it for our last little bit of summer here. What are you doing until school gets started again? Or has it already started for your family?!