Category Archives: women

books, faith, women

Wild and Free – Book Review

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I don’t know if you like reading Christian books. Depending on what they are, I don’t always like them. A lot of times, they seem a little “self-help” for my taste. Or other times, they’re too deep and require a little more brain power and concentration than I usually have these days. Reading is strictly for pleasure and sanity around here, and I have been unable to read for longer than five or ten minutes at a time for what feels like years (and might actually be). Therefore, I need a book that will hold my interest, but let me stay with it even though I go days without reading, then come back to it much later.

I first heard about Wild and Free because a writer I follow on Instagram had been an early reader for the authors, Hayley Morgan and Jess Connolly. She raved about it before it even became available for purchase, and so naturally, I preordered it.

It’s been an incredible journey to follow these women’s stories about their own lives, and being set free from expectations, duties, and “Christian lifestyles” and learning to live as wildly and freely as Eve – just as God created us to do.

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

Things I Forgot About Labor Till I Saw It From the Sidelines

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was given the privilege of being in the hospital with my best friend and her husband as she labored and they prepared to meet their little girl. I don’t know how helpful I was – mostly cracking jokes to relieve tension and trying to find something good on TV – but I truly enjoyed being there, and experiencing labor from the sidelines. It’s a little different when you’re not the one in pain. There are a few things I totally forgot about, even having done it three times. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about these things…

The shakes and the itching. Epidurals, and just plain ol’ high pain levels can cause crazy side effects. Thanks universe, the pain wasn’t bad enough without itchy feet and shaky hands.

The waiting. As if you haven’t had enough waiting for things during your entire pregnancy, it just multiples in the labor and delivery ward. It is so BORING when you’re waiting to dilate, waiting for the next time you’re getting checked, waiting for the medicine to kick in, waiting for the next contraction, waiting to finally start pushing… The waiting seems to never end.

The endless flow of Coca-Cola. After trying for nine months to cut out most of your caffeine, stay hydrated, and be as healthy as possible, the labor nurses come in with Coke after Coke after Coke… and the most perfect little pellets of ice… it’s glorious.

The crappy TV. If you’ve labored late during or through the night, you know that the only thing on TV to distract you is pure crap. Nothing but low-budget infomercials and strange, B-list celebrity reality shows happen between midnight and the 5 o’clock news.

The mindless banter. Nurses come in to check on you, and you answer questions, maybe crack a joke. Whoever is in the room with you – spouse, friend, etc – mentions random things from their Facebook newsfeeds or funny stories that pop into their heads. Your doctor comes in to see how you’re doing, and you make small talk about the same thing every time they come in. It’s purely to be polite, when you’d really just like to be left alone.

When your bladder is empty, your contractions don’t seem as bad. I still don’t fully know the science behind it, but contractions are SO much worse when your bladder is full. So after your third Coke, just go ahead and have them empty your bladder for you. It’ll help – really.

The inability to be still. You get to a certain point in your labor when the epidural isn’t doing much, and your body wants to push, but they say you aren’t ready yet. This leads to wanting to hop off the bed and do jumping jacks until the baby comes out. That’s a little unrealistic, of course, so you resort to squirming on the bed, nervous for the next contraction, but also wanting them to come more quickly and get the process over with.

Labor is a beautiful process, because at the end, you’ve added a bundle of joy to your family. But whether they’re things etched in your memory forever, or things that get glossed over in your mind the older your baby gets, the labor process is full of all those little moments – some sweet, some funny, and some just plain miserable – that make up your entire experience.

faith, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

When they go low, we go high.

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Michelle Obama rocked us with these words in her speech at the DNC, and they should still be true now that the election is over.

I’ve seen more hate today on my newsfeed than anything else. People firing at one another, or just firing aimlessly – ammunition for arguments, for hurt feelings, for America to take a giant step backward. I’m not writing today to make any political statements. I told you yesterday that I voted for Hillary, and I would do it again today. But there is something more important right now than who voted for who, or why they did. What’s more important is that we do not let things divide us even further. An election is divisive by nature, but we need to unite under a cause we should all be able to get behind.

Let’s unite to spread love, to be welcoming and hospitable, to be helpful and kind. There is no excuse to spew hatred. I cried myself to sleep last night, and woke crying again this morning. But I refuse to be brought to the level of pointing fingers, blaming anyone and everyone who disagrees with you. Our country is only as scary, ugly, and bigoted as we allow it to be. The way to combat the hate, bigotry, racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, or any other forms of intolerance is to BE THE LOVE. Be the tolerance, be the acceptance, be the encouragement, be the grace for each and every person you come in contact with. Get to know and love people who are different from you. Support them. Love them. Even if it’s tough for you – it’s good exercise.

So as you go about your day tomorrow, the rest of the week, through the end of the year, and prepare for Mr. Trump to be sworn in this coming January, decide how to go high, even if those around you are going low. Those words won’t ever lose their relevancy. Choose the high road, the tolerant road, the road of love.

This post is a part of my NaBloPoMo, where I publish a piece each day in November. Often, I’m exercising my writing muscle and writing something that’s out of the box for me. Thank you for bearing with me and following along.

mommyhood, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

Votes For Women, By Women, For Women

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I won’t lie to you. I got all the feels this morning as I scrolled through my Instagram feed. Pictures and videos of women voting for the first time, women at the polls voting early in this election, women picketing for the right to vote and the right to their bodies, women near and dear to me encouraging the rest of us to exercise our right and privilege to vote.

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Image found on Huffington Post.
I’m proud, today. I’m proud to say I got up before the kids to make sure I’d have time to go to the polls. I’m proud to share with my daughter how I took advantage of my right to vote this morning. I’m proud to have finally landed on a decision, and to finally feel good about it. I’ve decided that #ImWithHer.

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Image from Hillary for America.
I haven’t always been with her. I wouldn’t say I was against her, necessarily. But I can’t honestly say that I’ve been with her from the beginning, like many of my friends have. But I can now say that I voted for her gladly this morning, and not just because Hillary isn’t Trump.

This morning, I voted for her for many reasons, more than I could feel equipped to write about here. But I am extra proud to say that I took part in making history today. When I cast my vote for Hillary, it was one more vote toward my country’s first woman president. It was less than 100 years ago that women couldn’t even vote for a president at all, and here I sat, on the bleachers in the gym of the local elementary school, and filled in little bubbles next to not just one, but several women’s names. I’m proud to be in a country that has come so far, and also recognizes how much farther we need to go. I’m proud to have cast my vote in the direction of progress.

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Image found on Huffington Post.
Today, I’m helping make history into herstory. I’m helping get the country a little safer and a little more tolerant for my children, especially my daughter. One day, if she wants to run for president, I want her to win. And this might be the beginning of making that possible.

So go. Go out there, exercise your right to vote. Even if it’s not the same vote I cast, you should still do it. I will respect you and love you still, and all the more for just getting out there and making progress. There are plenty of hours left, and it’s important! It matters! Let’s do it, together.


Here are a few links to educate you on how long women waited for the right to vote, and many other rights.

14 Rights Women Have Gained Since Earning the Right to Vote

History of the Women’s Rights Movement

The Fight for Women’s Suffrage

 

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Celebrate. 

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This weekend was one of celebration. First of all, I was able to leave the house and get my extrovert on after days of sickness keeping me quite housebound. That in itself is a celebration, in my opinion! 

But on top of that, I celebrated all weekend long. Friday, there was a huge party for my friend’s 50th birthday. An evening filled with food, drinks, friends and music, it was a celebration of a life lived well, a group of people who have loved each other well, and a continuation of relationships and fun. 

Then Saturday night, I went to a girls’ night. It was a celebration of cooler weather, of bonfires, of wassail and of silly games. I got to know a few new ladies and reconnect with some I haven’t hung with in a while. A wonderful celebration of girlfriends. 

Folks, is there any good thing that isn’t worth celebrating? I mean, seriously. Is there a single good thing, big or small, that isn’t worth a celebration of some sort? I don’t mean greeting card categories: “congrats on your new job!”, “happy milestone birthday!”, or “lovely engagement!” I also mean “good job not losing your sanity at the office today!” and “wow, you showered and went to the grocery store?!” Sometimes, the little things need a celebration. 

In this case, I’m a text-celebrater. I often text my hubby or my girlfriends to say “Everyone is napping at the same time!” Or “My favorite wine is on sale!” because darn it, it’s worth celebrating! In my opinion, celebrating small victories (or just times you went down a busy road and hit all green lights) can lift your mood, and why not share a good mood with your friends?

This post is part of my NaBloPoMo, where I publish a piece every day in November. It may stray a bit from my usual style, but I’m writing each day to exercise the muscle!

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Currently

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Happy Monday, and happy Halloween! I’ve never been more happy to not be in the classroom as I am right now. Monday + Halloween is the worst elementary school combo I can think of.

Since it’s already November,  I’m linking up with Anne in Residence and A Short Blonde for their first Wednesday link up as well. I haven’t done a little update in a few weeks, so here’s a little bit about what I’m currently doing!

Celebrating || my bestie’s new baby girl! She arrived last week, and I was excited to be able to spend most of my time in the hospital during her labor. It’s such an interesting and beautiful process, and it was really neat to be a part of it from the outside, versus being the mother in labor. Here’s a picture of sweet Adele being snuggled by my J.

Hoping || for a few good pictures for a Christmas card! My friend Mary Catherine was sweet enough to come take pictures of our family last night, and when I get done writing this post, I plan to go through them, and try to arrange a few for our Christmas card. There’s a sneak peek below…

Wearing || blanket scarves and ponchos and big sweaters. This is sort of new for me, but I found a couple of things at Target and one at TJ Maxx that I fell in love with, and they’re going to be my favorite accent pieces this fall. A couple of them are tribal patterns, which I love! They don’t work super well with coats, mostly because they’re bulky, so it’s likely that I’ll drop them when it gets really cold – maybe around Christmas time. This photo is a peek from our shoot with MC yesterday, and I’m wearing one of those pieces I love!

Enjoying || a quick date with Hubby yesterday afternoon! My mom has been in town for the past few days, and during naptime, she let us go to our local beer growler store and enjoy a couple of flights. It’s been a while since we were able to just sneak out like that. Our dates usually take a lot of planning.

Eating || So. Much. Pho. It’s such a good fall treat, and fairly healthy. If you don’t know anything about it, it’s basically chicken noodle soup, Vietnamese style. You can also get different kinds of meat, but it’s delicious broth, rice noodles, onions, bean sprouts, and toppings like cilantro, Thai basil, lime juice, and/or hot sauce. The weather cools off, and there’s nothing I like better to eat. The kids like it as well, so that’s an added bonus! But all this pho does remind me that it’s almost RAMEN TIME!

Googling || blog post topic ideas. I know that seems a little trite, but I’m going to join some writer friends in publishing a blog post every day for the month of November. It’s a spin-off of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which works for me, since I’m not writing a novel (and don’t really plan to). But I love writing, so NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) is a perfect excuse to write and write and write some more. When I began this blog, I wrote something almost every day for the first several months. But as I got busier and wrote about a lot of things that I’d been saving up for, ya know, the first 28 years of my life, I ran out of QUITE as much material. That being said, kids are constant fodder for writing, and the world is constantly changing. I plan to keep it up!

Well, this catches you up a little bit on my life. What’s going on with you currently?

faith, My Big Jesus, women

Being Wild and Free in Jesus

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus.

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Y’all, I’m reading this amazing book right now. It’s called Wild and Free, and as you can imagine, it’s about finding your wildness and your freedom in Jesus. I was pretty sure I was going to know what the authors would say. I’ve read books like this before. I would know which scriptures they’d reference, and know where they were going before they got there. I’ve read and heard a lot about how Jesus set us all free. BUT Y’ALL. The Holy Spirit was ready to wreck me with this one.

When you’ve grown up in church, and you’ve been under similar teachings most of your life, I’d imagine that sometimes you feel like what you hear is a little watered down. You’ve heard 150 references to rams in thickets, and you know that freedom is in Jesus just as well as you know your last name. Even the most awesome miracles might seem to lose their luster once you’ve heard the story for the 101st time.

But as much as I felt like I already knew what was coming, I’ve been taken aback on every page, being beckoned into wildness in Jesus. I’ve reveled in the descriptions of how wild the first believers were, how free Adam and Eve were created to be before the fall, and how every single one of us is called back to a total belonging to the Lord, that can result in true freedom to be yourself and be wild in the complete love of Christ. The body of Christ doesn’t have to be a somber group of people, faces downcast, working hard for their salvation. And it shouldn’t be! The body of Christ should be individuals who are freely themselves, being together in community, encouraging one another, filling gaps, shaping and molding each other, just as iron sharpens iron, to share the Gospel and prepare the Kingdom of God! There is joyful news to be told, love to be shared, and lives to be healed! We sang this yesterday at my church: “You are stronger, You are stronger. Sin is broken. You have saved me. It is written: Christ is risen! Jesus, you are Lord of all!” There is no better truth to proclaim. The chains have indeed been broken – you are already free! Jesus has done the great work, and God is ready to do a great work in you, too.

 

If you’d like to get your hands on the book Wild and Free, here’s a link to get it on Amazon.

faith, mommyhood, music, My Big Jesus, random thoughts, women

His Gentle, Firm Call

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 


Through most of the year, my Thursdays are hectic. They are involved. They are also worshipful, filled with women I love, and full of inspirational teaching, meaningful connections, encouragement to last me days. I pack my rambunctious preschoolers into the car at what feels like zero dark thirty. I bring breakfast and toys to keep them occupied until their school starts, 30 minutes after my work does. I plan all week, sending emails, choosing songs, communicating with leadership, and practicing my instrument. I am thoughtful and prayerful about Thursdays as often as I can be.
Each week, I lead musical worship and do behind-the-scenes tech work for a women’s ministry at my church. It’s a part of my job I didn’t realize I’d be doing until I jumped in. My scared, insecure, and unwilling self simply said “yes” to my pastors when I started my service to this ministry two years ago. I’ll be honest: when it began, I wasn’t sure I would like it. I didn’t know the people involved very well, and technology often makes me a nervous wreck (read: it doesn’t always work for me). I felt unenthusiastic and under-qualified for the ministry, being one of the youngest women involved, and not having led many services on my own yet. But y’all, the Lord knew what He was doing when He threw me into the fray anyway. His call to do the work, this very specific work, was gentle but firm.

Many mornings, there were (and still sometimes are) problems I couldn’t solve without help, and questions I deterred with a weary, “I don’t know.” But the Lord has been faithful, and grown not only my devotion to and love for the ministry, but also given me new friends and more confidence. He has softened my heart to the new duties. He has blessedly grown the worship team within the ministry. In short, I have seen Him SHOW UP. He is there each week, preparing the room, the team, and the atmosphere to change women’s hearts towards Him. He draws us to Himself through each detail of the morning, and we never leave discouraged.

You may think you’re being called to something that isn’t a good fit. You might be confused, uncertain, or even refusing to go where He’s leading you. But I’m here to tell you, His plan is so much better than yours. He will equip you and help you grow into the role that He’s got for you (Hebrews 13:21). He is FOR YOU, and therefore no one can be against you (Romans 8:31). He would never lead you somewhere you shouldn’t go, even if it’s somewhere that’s hard. Submit to His plan – I promise it will be great.

mommyhood, parenting fails, random thoughts, women

20 Thoughts a Mom Might Have at 4:30am

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

I’ve been a mom for four and a half years. It’s been about that long since I’ve had a night’s sleep that was uninterrupted. Even if my kids aren’t the ones that wake me, my brain is on overdrive, wondering if my to-do list was accomplished, hearing phantom baby cries, or already worrying about the things happening the next day. I don’t always wake up in the middle of the night with a baby, but I almost always wake up with at least a little stress. Here are a few thoughts I might have, if I wake at 4:30am…

1. Ugh. I have to be up so soon.

2. Did I ever move those clothes into the dryer?

3. I think we’re out of milk!

4. How is it possible that he snores so loudly?

5. Was that a baby I just heard?

6. I can’t forget to make the appointment for the baby’s check up.

7. When did she come upstairs? I’d take her back to her room, but she’s fast asleep. I guess one night is fine.

8. I thought the night sweats would be over by now.

9. I remembered to turn off the oven after dinner. I’m sure I did.

10. I definitely hear the baby.

11. Okay, we need milk, bananas, tomatoes, and bread. I should probably get up and write that down. But my body is sooooo heavyyyyy…

12. I wonder what happened at the end of that episode? I must’ve fallen asleep.

13. I just can’t get comfortable!

14. I’ve got to pee, too. Maybe I should just get up.

15. I guess the baby is quiet now, so I’m going to hold it.

16. Okay, count the sheep. One. Two. Three…

17. Thirty-one, thirty-two…

18. How many more minutes till my alarm goes off?

19. I guess if I’m not going to sleep, I could squeeze in a run before everyone wakes up.

20. Actually, I’m pretty sleepy now…

And then, I bet you can guess what happens. I finally doze off, somewhere in the ballpark of 6:00am, and then it just isn’t very long until there’s a toddler stomping up the stairs, or  a baby shouting “Mama!”

fashion, home, mommyhood, music, random thoughts, women

6 Reasons I’m Excited for Fall

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Last night, Hubby and I sat outside on the deck and played cards with friends. It was ever so pleasant outside, with the lights strung around us, the cicadas chirping and a slight breeze. I might’ve even had a chill by the time we went inside, hours after the sun had gone down. It just made me even more excited for the start of fall. It’s always been my favorite season, so I decided to share with you a few reasons why I’m so excited for it to get here.

School. This one is big, maybe even the biggest, for me. I’ve spent my entire life either as a student, a teacher, or now the parent of a student, and so my goal-making, fresh starting, and excitement of all things new happens in the fall. We begin a school year excited for new opportunities, anticipating fall and winter holidays, trips, and weather, throwing ourselves gladly into rigorous schedules, and making short- and long-term goals for ourselves and our families. As a worship leader, it’s the time that several more ministries and church-related things start back up. As the mom of young kids, it’s the time that I get a couple of mornings a week of free time (thanks, preschool!) to write, to read, and to be “me” instead of “mom”. Those things excite me almost more than anything else!

Boots. These are treasured items in my wardrobe, and yet something I just DO NOT wear when it’s warm outside. They’re the first thing I lose in the springtime, because I sweat just thinking about wearing them in the hot. But I sure do love pairing them with dresses, leggings, and skinny jeans. They are almost my only footwear during the cooler months.

Scarves. Just like boots, I’m not great at wearing them in the warm weather. I get a little claustrophobic with something around my neck if it’s hot. But I love scarves for their pops of color, multiple uses, and the way they can replace a statement necklace for outfit completion.

Candles. I love scented candles! I also love candlelight, and so when fall is here with the yummy cinnamon smells and even on to Advent for the Christmas tree scents, there’s usually a candle lit somewhere in my home.

Fires. Whether from a candle, a hearth, or a roaring bonfire outdoors, I love to be near a fire! I like bundling up, cuddling, drinking and dancing near a big fire. Hubby’s friends used to pick up discard trees from around their neighborhood after Christmas was over, and have a huge bonfire in early January. I think that’s a brilliant idea and will be reinstating it this year.

Leggings. I’ve recently started loving leggings even more than I did a few years ago, maybe because they’re so comfortable and practical to wear while pregnant. I have several funky patterns, bright colors, and tunics with which to pair them. And THEN, I toss on a pair of boots for the fall-style win.

Well, now you know what I’m looking forward to. What are your favorite things about fall?