After a particularly difficult day with my three-year-old (that wasn’t helped by a fussy one-and-a-half-year-old who thinks it’s time to learn how to throw a proper tantrum), it was finally bedtime, and I was exhausted. I could tell the kids had had enough of me, and I had had enough of them. I hate those days that I haven’t done my best. I wasn’t the best mom to them. I didn’t use the kindest words or have the most patience – or honestly, much patience at all. The fun things I planned seemed to go awry almost immediately. Meals I prepared weren’t liked. The way I tried to fix problems didn’t work. Everything just… sucked.
After my son was down in his crib, I went into my daughter’s room. I said, “You know that I love you, right?” Head nods… with a smile, even! “You know that even when I’m angry or I’m sad, I still love you?” More nodding and smiling… then a jump into my arms.
Y’all, I couldn’t buy that forgiveness. I couldn’t buy that redemption from my difficult, beloved daughter at the end of a crappy day. I melted, tears dripping into her hair, thankful beyond words for the most perfect example of “forgive and forget”. She reminded me that though I fail, I’m still her mama, and she still wants and needs my love.
Just like her forgiveness, I also needed forgiveness for a failed day. My sin was so heavy, weighing on my mind and my heart, and my guilt was even worse. I needed a forgiving Father to smile and nod and tell me He still loved me, too. I hit my knees at the end of that day, begging Him to drag me out of the rut I couldn’t get out of on my own, begging for a reset of my attitude. He comes through, y’all. If you let Him, He comes through. It’s not easy, and often, it’s not pretty. But He comes through.
When preparing to have a baby, there are tons of things you must do. On your to-do list, packing a hospital bag should be towards the top during your third trimester. However, I’ve procrastinated like a pro. Here I am at 38 weeks today, and I’ve only just done it. Oh well. In my experience, I’ve over-packed both of the last times, so this time, I chose a smaller bag, and tried to really pare down what I’m bringing with me. We live only a couple of miles from the hospital, and I know Hubby will be going back and forth a lot because the kids will be at home and will need him to be around since I won’t be. If I forget anything, I’ll have him bring it to me, right?
Here’s the bag I chose. It was a gift from a friend a while back, and I LOVE it. It’s adorable and it’s Lilly Pulitzer. Total win.
One important thing to pack for is self-care. It’s dry in hospitals, so I’ve got lotion and chapstick. I’ve got oral care (I HATE having yucky teeth), hair pins/band, and I need contacts to see! I’ll also pack my face wash, deodorant, and glasses at the last minute, since I’ll be using those up until that time.
Now for a few things for baby D… Like these swaddles! The hospital blankets are totally fine, but my kids picked out these “choo choo” swaddles for their brother, and I know they’ll love to see him in them when they meet him. (And obviously they’re Aden & Anais, because those are the best.)
Newborn fingernails tend to be scratchy, so I always bring a few pairs of mittens so he doesn’t scratch himself! (I like these Gerber ones better than some of the Carter’s ones I have, simply because they stay on the tiniest wrists a little better. The Carter’s ones are good for when baby starts to get chunky!)
For clothes, I like these shirts that I call “kimono” shirts… they wrap about baby so you don’t have to pull anything over their heads. (Pictured: Gerber’s and Carter’s. They’re both favorites.)
Gowns are a MUST for newborns, because they’re easy access for the all-the-time diaper changes. (Pictured: both from Carter’s… one stretchy one-piece, and one zip-up. I also have a couple Three Marthas brand that I like just as much.)
And for a “going home” outfit, I chose this adorable little rainbow duck outfit. It was a gift from a sweet mama in Maryland who got my name in a “mystery mama” project. She sent me gifts for three months, and this was one of them! Thanks, Ashley!
For lounge and nursing attire, I packed a couple of nursing bras/tank tops (different sizes, since I won’t know exactly how big/small I’ll be in that first couple of days, my favorite thin robe, and a nursing cover. All comfortable, all easy-access while I’m still in the hospital.(Not pictured: my favorite high school volleyball shorts. Loose and comfy!)
Things to do… my Kindle (Maze Runner currently on deck) and Phase 10 to play with Hubby. During labor, there can be some time that you’re not “doing” much… just playing the waiting game. After baby gets there, when there aren’t any visitors and baby is nursing ALL THE TIME, you might want some reading material if you’re like me.
There aren’t many more things that will get added after these. Probably a bottle of water, a Luna bar or two, and I’ll bring my pillow. Otherwise, I’ll have the clothes on my back and whatever I beg someone to bring me later. You just don’t need that much. Everything for baby will be provided, as well as everything you need as a newly-delivered mother. I’m all about using (and gathering for take-home) anything and everything the hospital will provide: diapers, wipes, nose sucker, measuring tape (to keep track, of course!), nipple balm, pads, mesh underwear (yeah, I went there), and everything else I could possibly need for my first few days post-partum. Use the resources you have!
What did you pack in your hospital bag? Is there anything I’ve forgotten?
When Hubby and I got engaged, we both, separately and together, got bits of advice from tons of people, such as “When you’re married, spontaneity stops.” or “Your life is over.” or “You don’t have as much fun.” For us, that simply wasn’t true. We didn’t stop hanging out with our single friends, we didn’t stop going out and partying, and we didn’t feel like our lives were over. Quite the opposite, actually.
There’s been a little meme floating around that I’ve seen floating around the Internet recently:
It’s a bit cheesy, but I love it! I think it’s very true for me… I would’ve loved to not date the guys who didn’t treat me well or weren’t matched well with me. I would’ve loved to not have to wait as a single gal while my friends started finding their forevers. I would’ve loved to know Hubby was right there, beside me, long before he was there in reality.
But when we got married, life started. I was thrilled to come home to him each day, knowing that he loved me well and we would do something fun together that evening – because anything I did with him was fun. We got to know each other better and better, and loved each other more and more. We traveled, worked and played. We talked of buying a home and starting a family, and then we did those things! All the while he has prayed for me and loved me well, even in the moments that I don’t do the same for him.
Do we have the perfect marriage? No, I’m sure we don’t. There are always things to work on, and our lives are constantly changing. But a marriage is made of choices. I can choose to be frustrated first, or be understanding first. I can choose to say unkind words, or kind ones. I can choose to believe the best in my husband. I can choose to raise the bar and know he will reach it, because he’s awesome and as his wife, I can encourage and support him.
I know that with six years under our belts, we aren’t veterans at marriage, or qualified to give advice. But I can give encouragement: marriage is a gift, and love is a choice. If you treat them as such, you’ll probably find that they’re easier and more fun than you expected. Even with your third kid on the way, drowning in laundry, doing your best to keep up with just the basics of life, you can be ridiculously happy in your marriage, and genuinely look forward to the rest of your lives together.
I’m super excited to be on Scary Mommy today, talking about third trimester problems. If you’ve been there, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about!
You’re pregnant?! Congratulations! And also buckle up, because this is a long ride. Once you’re past the first trimester’s nausea, exhaustion and fake drinking in front of your friends, and the second trimester’s cute bump and nesting phase, you’re not out of the woods. You’ve got 12 (Who are we kidding? 14!) more weeks of a whole new set of problems….
I think I’ve written about this before. In any case, this (insert the title here) has always been true for me. Detail-oriented, follow-through-with-everything Whitney has stressed over little things her entire life. I know some of you others feel that way, too. Which is why this particular situation and my resulting feelings might be for you, too.
Sometimes, I think the Lord speaks to you through the most random people.
Like the other day, someone commented on my post about our “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad evening“. She basically said this: we can handle big things like we’re ninjas (I loved that!), but when it comes to a pile up of small things, we may just go insane.
Too right she is.
When something big happens, something really important or truly difficult, I ninja up, call upon my people to help or pray, roll up my sleeves and get through it. But if a hundred little tiny things go wrong during a regular old day, when I can’t pinpoint the problem or put my finger on the exact thing that’s frustrating me, I start to go bonkers. I mean it. Bonkers. I want to fly off the handle. Sometimes I do. But who does that benefit? No one. Not me, certainly. Not my kids, who didn’t really do anything besides act their ages. Not Hubby, who is as patient with and kind to me as any human alive could be.
When I read her comment, it was like I got a tap on the shoulder: Hey, she’s talking about YOU. I’ve typically been cool under pressure, and able to handle a lot of stress when it’s put on my shoulders. But BOY do I ever sweat the small stuff. And as a mom, that’s the biggest recurring piece of advice I hear… Don’t sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the little moments. You’ll miss this. Don’t worry about the accidents and messes. Well, that’s all well and fine to say, and for me to nod and smile about. But when he spills the third meal on the floor I just cleaned, add some pee-pee in her panties, hear from the babysitter who’s cancelling and ruining my date night, and then I can’t even give my kids a bath without the entire bathroom (and myself) being soaked? I’m done. I AM DONE.
Any one of those things is a little thing. It falls into the category of “small stuff”. I’m sure I’d think several of those things are funny in a few days when they haven’t happened in a while. But altogether, piled on in the same day, it overwhelms me in a way I can’t accurately describe. I’m immediately ready to throw in the urine-covered towel, and tell Hubby I’m going on date night alone. I’d like to say that my first response is to call for help, to lean on the One who is always ready to hear my cry and give me exactly what I need. But how often is He my last resort? I call on Him for big things, for important things, for scary things. But for the little stuff? Nah – I think I can handle it myself.
Well, I can’t. I need peace. I need rest. I need help. I need love to flow out of me. I can only find those things in one place: the arms of Jesus. And there’s good news! He’s ready and waiting to accept me with open arms, and give me what I need.
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been getting some really interesting comments from strangers. When I say really interesting, I basically mean that they’ve, well, overstepped their boundaries a bit. Here are a few of the things I’m hearing from folks nowadays…
You’re ’bout ready to drop any day now, huh? This is a verbatim quote from a man who worked at Costco, who obviously was also a medical professional. You can tell by his eloquence, and how he stated my condition in a very official way. And no, I have six fairly miserable weeks left.
Haven’t you been pregnant for, like, forever? Why yes, in fact, I was born into this world pregnant. I didn’t even have time in between my children that I wasn’t pregnant. I live in a perpetual state of pregnant.
That’s the cutest belly I’ve ever seen! Well, thank you! I love that my belly is the first thing you noticed about me, and I love it even more when random people comment on it!
Should you be doing/eating/drinking that? Why, you’re right! Thank you so much for your concern. The truth is, I shouldn’t be bending over cleaning the floor or carrying that toddler. This cup of coffee isn’t a necessity, and this donut will kill me. Thanks for the reminder.
Is this your first? Nope, it’s not my first rodeo. I must look like a rookie though, because I get asked this a lot.
Wow! You’re having your third already?! This question is asked as often as the one above, and mostly when I’m out alone with the kids. No, my children weren’t surprises and yes, all three are indeed mine.
And my personal favorite, that I’ve heard unprompted, but also as the next line in a conversation about “how much longer I have left”:
You look big. Well, you look like a jerk.
Add these items to your list of things pregnant women probably don’t want to hear.
All of my life, I have loved to be with people. I’m not a loner in any way… I like spending time with people, talking on the phone, building relationships, and getting to know people. It energizes me and makes me happy. I’m a typical extrovert in just about every way; that’s part of what made me a successful teacher. I assumed it would be the same way for me as a mom.
Not so.
Since becoming a mom, I have given more of myself to a person (and then multiple people) than I ever thought possible. All day long I meet the needs of others. I am touched. I am jumped on. I am talked to, cried for, shouted at, and called for. I wipe noses, bottoms, hands and mouths. I dole out hugs and kisses. I toss rubber balls, race little cars, pretend to drink tea and eat cake, and locate missing loveys. While often it does energize me, I do truly enjoy it, and I adore my children, I’ve realized I need “me time” in a way I never have before.
By nap time most days, I am ready to clock out. I have been needed and touched and talked to all I can stand. I put those darlings down for their naps, and want to run away. I’m no longer looking for phone calls to make or friends to invite over while my kids sleep. I’m not wanting to run errands to find a person to talk to. I either want to crawl in the bed or climb in the shower so that I’m truly and sincerely alone. If you’ve ever seen the movie Date Night with Tina Fey, she tells her husband (Steve Carrell) about her amazing fantasy:
If anything, I fantasize sometimes about being alone. There are times when I’ve just thought about, on my worst day, just, you know, leaving our house and just going someplace, like checking into a hotel and just being in a quiet room by myself. Just sitting in a quiet, air-conditioned room, sitting down, eating my lunch, with no one touching me, drinking a Diet Sprite, by myself. Look, I just want to have one day that doesn’t depend on how everyone else’s day goes.
I’ve been joking recently about this with Hubby. I’ll just say, “Diet Sprite”, and he knows I’m referencing my desire to tag out and be alone for a while. When J is pulling on my pants so much that they’re falling down, and EK is shouting from across the house that she needs to poopy, and all I’m doing is trying to fix lunch so they don’t have hunger meltdowns, I fantasize about the very same thing: being alone, in a quiet air-conditioned room. Except change that Diet Sprite to an enormous glass of wine.
So after giving and pouring, day in and day out, I’ve gone from someone who desires company and conversation all day and all night to someone who has a new appreciation for solitude. A cup of tea by myself is a treat the likes of which I haven’t fully appreciated until now. I still love to be with people, and thrive in social situations; my friends and family can certainly tell you that. But my desires have changed as my lifestyle has changed. My entire personality has shifted, and I’ve never been more okay with it.
On the heels of my first post of 10 tips for all of you soon-to-be moms, I’ve written a second list of tips! I hope these are super helpful, but remember: what worked for me doesn’t always work for everyone, and you should do whatever works best for you, your baby, and your family! These are just suggestions!
Yes. That is my bump, as of right now!
1. Don’t buy maternity underwear. I say this not necessarily because it’s a waste of money. It probably isn’t. But you’d wear it for a few months, and then just pack it away or trash it, right? A better idea is to just stretch out your regular underwear, and then after the baby is born, hit up Vicky’s semi-annual sale and treat yo’self to some brand new undies you won’t have to let go of in a few months. The options are cuter in regular sizes, anyway.
2. When getting nursing attire, you may need two sizes. For the first two months or so, my breasts were huge, and needed to be available all the time. After that, I started to shrink down a little (it was NOT sad) and could start wearing things that weren’t nursing friendly every once in a while because they were nursing more predictably and not as often. I got all my nursing tank tops and nursing bras at Target, and there are several brands and styles I liked just fine.
3. When offered help, have it continue through (at least) the first two months. It seems like you’d get a rhythm and not need as much help after the first couple of weeks, right? Ha! Well, you do. But your adrenaline wears off, the lack of sleep builds up, and you’re dragging even more than you were when you said you’d never been so tired. So if you’ve got a friend setting up a meal calendar, have it continue through two months, even if that means it starts a little later. If you’ve got someone asking if you need a break to take a shower or a nap, say yes, and ash them if they’d like to do it again. It feels silly to take them up on things like that, but hey – they offered!
4. Use the lactation consultant at the hospital! When you’re there after delivery for however many hours, and that consultant comes by, let her take a good look at what’s going on, let her get in your (and the baby’s) business, and ask her ALL THE QUESTIONS. It’s awkward. It feels weird to have your boobs out and her squeezing and whatever, but just do it. You learn tricks, and you can even get her number for a follow-up phone call later. It’s the best!
5. Have Daddy help out. I don’t mean just with cooking and cleaning and yada yada. I mean with the baby. He needs to bond, too, so have him help out at night if possible (if he’s not working the next morning) or have him take the early morning shift, so you can catch some more z’s before your day really gets going. It’ll be really special time between Daddy and baby, and it’ll be heaven for you.
6. Try not to get too worked up. I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you’re in the middle of a crying jag, or a nursing strike, or just plain isn’t happy with anything, it’s tempting to get really stressed and freak out. I’ve been there tons of times, when you just feel useless. I got a great piece of advice. Put the baby in the crib, walk away, and tag out with Daddy, or just give yourself a minute. If what you were trying wasn’t helping, getting stressed isn’t either. Your baby can sense that you’re stressed, and that doesn’t help them calm down. However you can get a minute to calm down, that’s the best way to calm the baby.
7. Be flexible with sleeping arrangements. Something different that you thought might be what works for you. When I had EK, I had planned on keeping her in the room in a bassinet until she started sleeping better, just so I wouldn’t have to walk around the house in the middle of the night. Turns out, Hubby and I couldn’t sleep because we were listening to every tiny squeak and each little squirm, wondering if she was waking up, if she was hungry, if she needed something. I couldn’t ever get to sleep! We spent two nights like that, and moved her to her own room, because we couldn’t get any rest. Unless everyone’s getting sleep with whatever arrangement you are trying, you might try something different.
8. Create a bedtime routine. I went into depth about our bedtime routine in a recent post here, but having a few things that are the same every night will help baby know when bedtime is, and go down a little easier. For instance, clean diaper (bath when they’re ready for a daily bath), clean jammies/sleep sack, swaddled (if you’re swaddling), read a book, sing a song, feed her, and lay her down before she’s all the way asleep.
9. Go ahead and choose your pediatrician. The hospital will ask you just after your baby is born who you will be working with (what office, anyway) so go ahead and visit a few before you have the baby. The pediatrician on call will do a visit in the hospital for the both of you, so meet a few of the doctors if you can, and you might see a familiar face! Most offices do tours and meet-and-greets, so call a few and ask around! For us, we love the option of a Saturday clinic, the option of lots of different doctors, but being able to see our favorite nine times out of ten, and the fact that they all treat our kids like royalty. What can I say? They love us.
10. Get some sleep before the baby comes. I got all sorts of advice about I should do before EK got here: go on vacation, get my nails done, get my hair cut, have a girls’ night, have a massage, have sex with my husband (how do you think we got pregnant?), prepare the nursery, wash the baby clothes, go to the movies, and a thousand more things. The best piece was to get sleep. I took naps, slept as much as possible all day and night, and I felt super rested when the baby came. It was the best possible scenario.
What else would you add to this list? How have you prepared for a baby?
Delivering a baby is the biggest, most important, most intimidating thing you might ever do. If you’re a newbie at it (and even if you’re not) there are a few things you can do to help the day (or night) go more smoothly. And since I’m gearing up to have a third go at it in July, it’s good for me to go back over it. Here are some tips based on my personal experience with my two kiddos.
After delivery family photo ❤
1. The Hospital Bag. This can be as important as you make it. Here’s my experience: I packed too much for EK. I packed too much for J. I’m considering not packing one this time. Ha! I’m kidding, but a little bit serious. I haven’t ever showered at the hospital (how much nicer is your shower at home, right?) so I haven’t used anything but the toothbrush, chapstick, and my glasses (I typically wear contacts) in the toiletries department. I wore a light robe, nursing tank, and stretchy shorts (think high school basketball shorts) when I got to my room. I used the hospital’s everything for the baby: diapers, wipes, nose sucker (what’s that thing even called, am I right?), blankets (with the exception of a muslin swaddle I brought), and hat. Everything is kinda covered in new baby fluids (read: pee, meconium, spit up, colostrum, etc.) so you don’t truly need an outfit until the “going home outfit” you picked out. Speaking of that outfit… if you’re like me and you have big babies, or if you don’t know what you’ll get because it’s your first, then pick one in newborn size and one in three month size. J couldn’t fit in most of his newborn clothes even though he was just hours old. Because hospital food is “eh” and nursing burns one million calories an hour, I packed a few non-perishable snacks (Luna bars/Larabars, crackers, etc) and bottles of water, my pillow, and my laptop. This is crucial because I want to stream Netflix while I’m not sleeping, am I right? And one last thing: pack an empty bag inside your bag so you can fill it up with hospital freebies like diapers, wipes, maxi pads, nose sucker, etc. They’ll give you more of all of those before you head out.
2. The car seat. I know, this seems like a no-brainer, but go ahead and install it in your car. That way, you don’t have to think about it when your water breaks. It won’t even be on the radar. And you don’t want to be reading the manual to figure out what LATCH is sitting in the hospital parking lot. (Side note: neither does your partner.)
3. Ask for all the drinks and ice you want while you’re in labor. For me, I was excited beyond belief by the perfectly crunchy pellet ice at my hospital, and the fact that I could drink Coca-Cola up until I started pushing. Someone (I’m sorry, dear nurses) would come by to… ahem… empty my bladder whenever I was feeling like I needed to go. And as dry as the hospital is, I was drinking a ton.
4. It’s gonna be messy. For me, it wasn’t as bad as I’ve heard it could be, but either way you and whoever else attends the actual birth will probably get sweaty at the very least. The lights are bright, the tension can be high, and at least one of you is working! You’re probably wearing a hospital gown, but bring a change of clothes for Daddy, too, because it could get a little messy. Especially if you’re like I was with your first, and you’re a little nervous to be there by yourself and you’d like him to stay with you.
5. Rest. Don’t try to do too much during your hospital stay. Keep to the bed as best you can, especially the first few hours. I know that after having J, I popped up, my adrenaline kicked in, and I wanted to go, go, go. But if you have an epidural, or if you have some tearing (It’s okay! I tore and I lived through it!) you’ll not want to overestimate yourself. The first three or four times you need to go to the bathroom, use someone (Dad, nurse, anyone!) to help you to and from the toilet. You may be a little lightheaded.
6. Make sure you actually need to go to the hospital in the first place. Always call your doctor before you head to the hospital. I’ve had several friends with “false” labor and “pre” labor who show up at the hospital and get sent home, or sent to the mall to walk, or whatever. Your contractions have to be pretty long and pretty close together before they’ll want to keep you, and even then if you aren’t dilated at all, they might still send you away. That being said, if your water breaks, GO!
7. Get on the same page with Daddy before you start labor. It’s always nice to know what he’s up for and what he isn’t. Some dads don’t want to see it all happen, and in the heat of the moment isn’t a good time to find out. Ask him beforehand whether he’d like to sit by your head and hold your hand, or if he’d like to be a more in-depth part of what’s going on. If he’s gonna hit the floor at the sight of blood, maybe holding your hand (or the waiting room, ha!) is the best place. Hubby and I didn’t talk about it before, but he ended up being a big part of my having a successful labor/delivery with EK, and so he was very involved again the second time. Bless him for not knowing how much of a part until the actual day. Give your Dad the choice and a heads up – just because it’s a nice thing to do.
8. Do those Kegels! It’s never too late. Any amount of Kegels is better than zero. I think it also helps you learn how to push. A cousin of mine told me that during her first child’s delivery, she pushed the wrong way for over an hour. Talk about a lot of effort and pain for no gain. Kegels help you familiarize yourself with the muscles you’ll be using to have the baby, in addition to their normal benefits (getting back to normal more quickly, etc).
Well, there are eight of my most helpful tips for preparing for your delivery! If you’re expecting, good luck with your pregnancy, labor and delivery! If you aren’t, log this for when you are – it might help you out! If you’ve been through it once, or twice, or many times, do you have anything to add?
A few nights ago at our community group (a group of six couples from my church that meet together to have dinner and fellowship every other week) we were talking about seasons of life. Our group is comprised of two (fairly) newly married couples (with no kids), two couples with young kids (ages 0-7) and two couples with older kids (high school-aged or older) so we’re obviously all in different seasons of life.
As I listened to one of the women talk about how she felt like she and her husband were in a period of transition, I realized that she, being five years younger than me, was also almost exactly where I was five years ago: buying their first house in the hopes they’d be there for a long time, not having kids yet, working jobs that may or may not be the ones they stay in forever… I can remember when I was there. The end of my second year teaching, Hubby and I had been married and lived in a rental property for our first year of marriage, and we were looking forward to having a place that was really ours. Not just a place to “squat” for nine months or a year, or a place we’d just move from in a couple of years. We wanted to buy a home to bring kids home to, ya know? And we achieved it, thank goodness.
But I remember well the feeling of moving and moving and moving that you get while you’re in college. Every fall, I moved to NC for the school year. Every summer I moved back to GA for a couple of months. After graduation, I lived with two of my girlfriends for a little less than a year. Then I moved into the little house Hubby and I lived in right when we got married. After that, after six years and back and forth and to and fro, Hubby and I settled. And here we still are, five years later, happy as can be in our wonderful house in our favorite neighborhood.
I’m not jealous of her stage of transition at all.
But we’ve got our own transitions. Our kids are always growing and changing, and we’re adding a new member to our family in July. We haven’t moved, but we just went through several months of a home renovation (and let me tell you, that felt like an eternity of “in limbo”). I stopped teaching and started leading worship, and Hubby started working at a recording studio. These are all transitions… even if they aren’t as big as some other ones.
I am thankful each day for the season of life I’m in. There are days I’m frustrated and exhausted with it, but most days, I’m happy. I get to spend a ton of time with Hubby and our kids, I’m doing a part-time job that I love, living in a home I enjoy, and a circle of wonderful friends and family with whom to share my life. Every transition and change that comes my way might throw me off a little, but instead of turning back and refusing to move forward, I try to lean into the wind.
After a particularly difficult day with my three-year-old (that wasn’t helped by a fussy one-and-a-half-year-old who thinks it’s time to learn how to throw a proper tantrum), it was finally bedtime, and I was exhausted. I could tell the kids had had enough of me, and I had had enough of them. I hate those days that I haven’t done my best. I wasn’t the best mom to them. I didn’t use the kindest words or have the most patience – or honestly, much patience at all. The fun things I planned seemed to go awry almost immediately. Meals I prepared weren’t liked. The way I tried to fix problems didn’t work. Everything just… sucked.
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