Tag Archives: babies

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

It ain’t pretty. 

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

The grump king was just mad he slept through dinner.
 Sometimes, a house full of kids ain’t pretty. It’s messy. It’s frustrating. It’s loud. It’s full of surprises, no matter how much you plan. It’s often a battle: you vs. them, you vs. laundry, you vs. the unknown smell, you vs. screen time, or you vs. the version of you you’d like to be. 

Sometimes, like the other night for me, things get really crazy. It’s one thing after another, and there’s no one to blame, not even yourself (because sometimes, if I’m honest, it’s my fault). But sometimes, there are so many factors and so many things involved, it’s just too crazy and we can’t get through it without finding a little humor. 

On Saturday, Hubby and I had loose plans to go get (apparently amazing) burgers with some friends about 30 minutes from home. Once we started making further plans, our friends didn’t feel like going that far, but still wanted to hang. So we changed location and time, but kept the date. As my fam got ready to go, this kid didn’t want shoes, that one didn’t want a jacket, and the youngest screamed from the moment he got into his car seat. I was on edge from the crying, and from the sheer effort it takes to get all of us out the door…and because I had really wanted that burger with the obscene amount of bacon and the fried egg on top that everyone had been raving about. So when we finally got into the car, I sorta… exploded. I may or may not have told Hubby I wanted to run away by myself. I may or may not have meant it right then. But then I shut up, and we drove to dinner. 

Halfway there, I realized I had forgotten to grab baby wipes. This, with three kids under four, is a big mistake. Hubby offered to stop at the grocery store and grab some, and I declined, mumbling about how napkins or wet paper towels would do, and how stupid I felt for the obvious fail at Mom 101. 

When we got to dinner, it was time for D to eat his oatmeal, so he sat in Hubby’s lap while I fed him. We made precious little mess, and I went as far as to congratulate myself for not getting covered in it. How dare I?! Because the next thing I knew, he had puked. And puked some more. After the third one, I had changed his bib three times, his pants once, and used every napkin at the table. So then, obviously, there was one more spit up. Then he just got fussy. And fussier. And fussier. No amount of swaying or bouncing, toys or funny faces was making him happy, so Hubby and I deduced that he must’ve emptied his belly and gotten hungry. Because why else would he still be all mad? Well, two sips into his bottle, he passed out. Hard. Ooooh! Tired! That was it. Well, Mr. Man likes to sleep on his belly, so in my lap, he started to turn, until he was awkwardly belly down, splayed across my body. I managed to maneuver him to a slightly less awkward position, but it’s still a little disconcerting trying to eat a salad and a wrap with a twenty pound baby across your lap.

When he fell asleep, it was almost like that was my older kids’ cue to lose it completely. EK decided sitting was for losers and she would stand on one leg, with one butt cheek on her chair. J decided shoes were only for people who had their feet on the floor, and promptly threw his boots off the high chair he was in, and spend the rest of his evening fighting to get out of it. Both were fairly covered in their dinners (spaghetti with meat sauce and fries with ketchup, because obviously tomato is the only vegetable, and it exists only to be used in sauces). This was the point where I really regretted not letting Hubby stop for wipes. There was red everywhere, and several people at our table had been spit up on. And as I looked around at the laughing faces of our friends, a sweet Hubby who had hopefully not held my bad mood against me, a round of empty beers, and happy (or sleeping) babes, I made a decision. I could sit there brooding about how things hadn’t gone my way, or I could decide to have a nice evening, despite the crazy. All in all, the sequence of events was so bad it was funny. And I decided to laugh. I decided to wage my war on unpreparedness and loud kids later. I was surrounded by my favorite people, and I shouldn’t be sulking.  I should be having fun. And y’all, I did. I enjoyed myself with spit up on my sleeve, a baby sprawled across my lap, and kids who ate ketchup for dinner. I chose to ignore the battle instead of fighting it, and no one is even worse for the wear. 

faith, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, women

Things a Mom Can Do When She Sleeps All Night

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This also appears on My Big Jesus!  

It’s no surprise that moms frequently don’t get enough sleep. If they aren’t woken by babies or kids or pets, they’re up worrying about why they haven’t been woken. But on the odd day that a mother wakes, all on her own, having rested fully the night before, she transforms into an amazing creature… a superhero of sorts. She can take on the world in a whole new way, and she’ll only need two cups of coffee to do it! Here are some things a well-rested mother might do if she sleeps the entire night:

1. She will wake up with her first alarm. She won’t even hit snooze. She’ll just stretch her arms wide, take a deep breath, and start her day with a smile.

2. She will cook herself a hot breakfast, and not share it with anyone. Frying eggs, brewing coffee, and toasting bread, all before her children wake up.

3. She will make pancakes, and not even be annoyed about it. Special breakfast will be no big deal, and the children will give her a cheer!

4. She will pack the children up for an outing before lunchtime. She is excited enough to hit the park AND the grocery store – in one fell swoop!

5. She will actually eat lunch! And I don’t just mean whatever her kids leave on their plates. She will fix herself a sandwich, alongside the children’s healthy meals she will patiently coax them to eat. 

6. She won’t turn on the TV. She doesn’t need background noise or distraction for the children. She is so energetic! She will become tickle monster or professional storyteller before the TV comes on.

7. She will plan a healthy and delicious dinner for her family. Since she went to the grocery store, the kitchen is her oyster as she minces garlic, chops peppers, sears steak and bakes cookies.

8. She will tackle bath time, pajama wielding, tooth brushing and story reading all in time for an early bedtime. She is fearless as she enters the witching hour fray. 

Why, oh why, can’t this well-rested woman be you? Because she’s mythical, of course – an idealized version of you when you get even six hours of sleep in a row. In other words, she is a very figment of our imaginations. Everyone knows that mothers don’t sleep!

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Why I Decided To Stop Breastfeeding (And You Can, Too)

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Breast is best. Did you know? Breast is best. Everyone tells you that. If you don’t know that, you must be totally secluded from women or parents or doctors.

But if you ask me, sometimes, breast isn’t always best.

There. I said it. For me, breastfeeding has been difficult. I have three children, and I have breastfed all of them for various amounts of time. Two nursed only a few weeks, and the rest of the time were fed with bottles of expressed milk or formula. My middle child managed to nurse for 8 months (an incredible accomplishment for both of us), and even though I was also pumping, my supply wasn’t enough for that to be his only nourishment.

I’ve taken supplements, consumed my weight in water, eaten healthfully and plentifully, done everything I could to keep my supply up… It’s just never worked. For me, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t keep up with my hungry babies. And in my household, a hungry baby made for an angry baby, which made for stressed mom, which made for upset dad, and very little sleep for all of us. Our sanity was going out the window, so we threw “Breast is best” to the wind, and supplemented with formula. Our babies grew and grew, were happier and happier, are rarely sick and the most fun and intelligent kiddos I know.

Just this week, as my youngest turned four months old, I had a difficult conversation with Hubby. “I’m tired,” I said tearfully. “I’m stressed, and I want those two hours of my day back.” Those two hours I spend pumping. Those were two hours that I could be spending time with my children, writing, reading, showering, folding laundry, or SLEEPING were always sacrificed to the milk machine. I slaved at the pump to get less than three bottles a day for my little guy (who eats like a horse – what will I do when he’s a teenager?!) when I could be feeding him formula and actually playing with him during those times. Instead, my free moments while the kids were asleep, at school, or playing with Daddy were spent in my room getting a few ounces of what everyone told me was the best thing for my child.

So I stopped.

I stopped my supplements. I stopped charting my water intake. I stopped stressing about a schedule. I weaned myself off the pump.

Y’all, it feels great. I’ve gotten more sleep, spent more time with Hubby and the kids, and I’m less stressed about how I’m going to plan those hours into my day. Breast was only best for so long… and then it wasn’t anymore. Don’t crack under the pressure if it’s not working for you. I’m not staying don’t try – you absolutely should give it a shot. For so many, it is the best. But if it’s not, that’s okay. You’re not broken and neither is your child. There are other ways to nourish them, and certainly other ways to bond with them. You do you, mamas, however it works. That is the best.

faith, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

He Is Secure, Even If I’m Not

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!  

 This weekend, unbeknownst to me, Hubby transitioned my little tiny baby J into his big boy bed.

Okay, so he’s not so tiny. But he’s still a baby, right?!

J won’t be two till just after Christmas, and even though he has an actually tiny baby brother, he himself is still a baby. A toddler, maybe, but in many ways still a baby. He needs snuggles and has warm milk at nap time and won’t use the potty and should still be contained in his crib. 

But while I was out on Saturday, Christmas shopping with my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law, Hubby put J down for a nap in the queen-sized bed (that’s already in his room for lack of another place to put it). We had been talking about moving him into it, and letting J get used to the idea, but hadn’t made any real plan for when it would happen.

With EK, we tried to move her to a big girl bed too early. We were preparing for J’s arrival, and just couldn’t get her to stay in her big girl room, so she slept in his nursery even after he was a couple of weeks old. She wasn’t ready, and she was not going to sleep there until she decided it was time.

Now on Saturday (with no warning, may I add), I just received a picture text from Hubby of the video monitor, pointed at the bed, with a tiny spot of J somewhere near the headboard. I couldn’t believe it! Tears came to my eyes when I thought of my little baby boy, asleep in that giant bed, without me snuggling next to him. Surely he can’t be ready! He must feel so scared alone in that huge bed!

But he wasn’t scared or sad. He was ready. I was the one who wasn’t.

Upon further conversation, I learned that he didn’t go immediately to sleep, but he slept soundly once he was. He has even spent two nights and another nap in the bed, only escaping the room a couple of times before drifting off.

He isn’t even my last baby, but I’m not ready to lose the crib. What if he misses it? What if he asks to sleep there? But it’s my security blanket, not his. I’m the one that wants to hold him back. But he knows that his needs will be met, his fears will be stilled, and he can be brave because he is loved and taken care of. He is secure.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Napping Is My Jam

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

 My four month old son is (thankfully) a heavy sleeper during his naps. His siblings run loudly up and down the hall past his room. His brother even opens the door, runs in, and slams it shut. Through these things, he can always sleep. He heard those sounds in the womb, I suppose. Maybe they’re comforting noises. Either way, he’s snoring right through their laughter and their tears. Or another example is that when he eats right before his nap, he falls asleep so deeply that when I go to put him in the crib, his limbs are all floppy. I could basically dump him in there any old way, and he’d stay asleep. No amount of jostling between the rocking chair and the crib would jolt him awake if he is ready for his nap. A good three hours later, I’m turning on lights, throwing off blankets and trying to wake him up.

But let’s just say that the children are all tucked in for the night, and I’m getting ready for bed. If I so much as creak a floorboard on the way to my room, or dare to use the ice maker to chill my water, he wakes up. “Mom! I heard you! That must mean it’s time to eat! Oh, and will you give me a fresh diaper, too? And maybe a long snuggle?”

Yes, my son. I will always snuggle you, take care of you, and love you. I will do these things to the best of my ability all day, every day. I will spend my life making your life (and your siblings’) the best I possibly can. However, I could be so much better at these things if I could just get a little sleep. So sweetie, my darling… please sleep through the night as heavily as you nap.

mommyhood, music

Favorite Lullabies

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As the mom of three kids that I still actively put to bed, I have to have a lot bedtime songs in my arsenal. I get requests from Taylor Swift to Disney to worship songs. I even occasionally have to make up a song about a random object. (It’s an “I love lamp.” situation in my daughter’s room some nights.) Thus, my list of bedtime songs is endless, but I’ve compiled a list of some of our current favorites, if you’re getting tired of your old standards.

1. Edelweiss. This is the song from The Sound of Music that is portrayed as the Austrian favorite, sung by both Liesel and the Captain (and the audience at the festival). Both my older kids love it, and it’s not very long, so I learned it quickly, and it’s not some 9-verse song I never feel like singing.

2. Somewhere Over the Rainbow. EK loves this one, mostly because she loves rainbows. But like The Sound of Music, we’ve also watched The Wizard of Oz enough times that all the songs from it are very familiar. This one has a couple verses, but it’s not terribly long either. (Nerd moment: It’s a good way to teach octaves!)

3. Oceans. This is a Hillsong United tune that I’ve sung at church during our service over the last couple of years, and EK loves it. She frequently requests it, and knows all the words. I trim it WAY down – the album version is about 9 minutes long – at bedtime (and at church) and it’s still long. But hey, when your daughter requests that you sing a worship song, you deliver.

4. Getting to Know You. This favorite from The King and I is one of the songs the kids know best. They’ve watched this movie countless times, and still want to watch it sometimes. I think they like seeing all the children!

5. Oh, Mister Sun. This is a kids’ song from way back, and I’m not sure if I even sing the actual words, but I definitely sing it a lot. I often follow it with “Oh, Mister Moon” – a second verse I’m almost certain I make up most of the words to.

6. Disney songs. I know that’s vague, but there are so many that they ask for. Here’s a sampling: Let It Go (Frozen), Part of Your World (The Little Mermaid), I See the Light (Tangled), A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (Cinderella), Beauty and the Beast (Beauty and the Beast), and several. My absolute favorite is Stay Awake (Mary Poppins’s lullaby) and I’ve written an extra verse for each of my children, using their names.

7. You Are My Sunshine. Everyone knows this one, right? Short, easy, to the point, and done.

8. Jesus Loves Me. The kids sing this one at church, so they request it at home. I love it that they want it.

9. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star/ABC. Since these songs have the same tune, when J starts singing it (often without any intelligible words), I go back and forth between which words I sing. Or sometimes I’ll sing them back to back.

10. Colour My World. If you know Hubby and me, you know that we are rock and roll people. So naturally, this Chicago tune had made our favorite song list.

11. Golden Slumbers. This song by the Beatles is a lovely one – from the Abbey Road album.

12. Down to the River to Pray. This bluegrass-y, gospel-y song was featured in Oh Brother Where Art Thou and I’ve been hooked on it ever since. Several verses and multiple harmonies make it all the more appealing.

What are some songs you sing to your kids? Are the slow lullabies, rock ballads, or edited rap songs? I’ve heard of all three!

faith, My Big Jesus

The Life of a New Mom

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When you have a baby, certain things fall to the wayside for a few weeks (months?) that used to matter a little more. There are the normal things, like sleeping and eating. There are also things like laundry and other chores that you fall behind on. There are still more things that you neglect, often about yourself, that it takes you a while to get back into. I’m finding this out, once again, after the birth of my third child. Here are a few of the things I’ve been neglecting for the past six weeks:

Showers. It seems a little gross that you are neglecting these, but honestly, if you have half an hour to yourself, you’ll probably nap (or let’s be honest: sneak out and get a latte) instead of shower. Just being honest.

Beauty routines. The careful steps you took to put on your make up, the way you’d do your hair before you left the house, and the polish on your nails? Say goodbye. I have chipped nail polish from weeks ago, and I barely slap on the mascara every 5 times I leave the house. My hair gets washed every couple of days, and brushed… after I get out of the shower. Oops.

Haircuts. Speaking of hair, this is one of my biggest bummers about neglecting myself for a few weeks. As a person with short hair, I like to get it done about every six weeks, or else it gets super shaggy and it looks like I’m trying out a new (horrible) hair style. It’s been about 9 weeks since I’ve had a haircut, and I’ve stopped checking the back of my head in the mirror at any point. Ignorance is bliss. Oh, I have a giant cowlick back there? That means I actually slept a little last night!

Food. I don’t mean eating it… I mean making sure you have it. And also making sure it’s not rotten. And I hate being wasteful. We’ve run out of milk a few times (not good for my little napping babes) and eggs and bread once or twice as well. But somehow we recently had so many bananas that I ended up freezing the overripe ones for smoothies (because no one wants to eat a mushy banana) and I just threw out three molding peaches (disgusting) and some would-be-delicious leftovers that had been there since… I just don’t know how long. We have completely lost our balance for grocery shopping and food consumption.

Friends. I’ve been trying to do well here, but I’m sorry if I slipped. I’ve definitely texted a few of you a few times. That’s something, right? And several of you have brought us meals, you blessed souls. It’s nice to see a familiar face around here that isn’t asking me to change its diaper or feed it ice cream.

Knowledge of the outside world. Hey, is there some kind of election coming up? Wasn’t there some sport that just had a tournament or got a new outfit thingy? What season is it, again? I can’t even remember the day of the week…

Prayer life. Where I usually try to be very intentional about reading my Bible and choosing something or someone to pray for, recently my prayers have been all but limited to, “Please God, let the baby stay asleep.” and “Dear Lord, please let us have a few more diapers stashed around here somewhere.” Or my personal favorite: “Thank you, Lord, for my kids! And now, bed time!”

 

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

It’s Hard to Be a Baby

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

My sweet little baby, you make me wish I was the baby. 

Seriously, though! You can lie around most of the day. You are fed at the moment you act like you’re hungry. You can sleep whenever you want. You get endless snuggles. Everyone is gentle wth you, and says sweet things, like how cute you are and how they can’t wait to see you again soon. All your clothes are soft, your blankets cozy, and you’re surrounded by people fighting each other to hold you. Life must be so hard.  

 Sometimes, when you are unhappy, I can’t help but wonder why. It just doesn’t make sense. You went on a nice afternoon stroll. You got fed right on your schedule. You  napped only when you wanted to. You didn’t even have to go to the bathroom to do your business, and I cleaned you right up! But when I laid you down in your bassinet (asleep, by the way) so that I could take a shower, you acted as though I had told you that you were never going to DisneyWorld. Total injustice!

Sometimes, you look like you are totally offended at something I’ve done. For instance, when I invited a photographer friend over to take some pictures of you so I could show everyone your big blue eyes and adorable, cuddly poses, you wouldn’t stay calm. Then, you pooped right on the couch! I mean, give me a break, kid. When you’re 18 and I don’t have a photo for your senior yearbook, I’ll remind you about the time you pooped during your naked baby photo shoot. 

But as much as you squirm, or fuss, or scream, or wake me up at night, I’m always going to love you. I’ll always take care of you. I’ll always kiss you (even in front of your friends) and I will forever be sharing my life, my love, my heart, and my milkshakes with you and your siblings. Even though it’s hard to be you sometimes, remember all the poop I’ve cleaned up. It’s easier to be you. 

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, siblings, Uncategorized

Like I Have Known Him Forever

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

Have you ever had a person in your life that you just met, but you already feel like you’ve known each other forever? Right when you meet them, you realize you’ve got tons in common and your personality complements the other’s, and you immediately have a few inside jokes?

That’s how I feel about our newest baby.

  
I know. That seems crazy. I don’t know if we’ve got much in common besides genes. We don’t have any inside jokes yet. But I already feel like I’ve known him for ages, like I know him well and love him with a older love, an aged love, a love that’s stood the test of time – for more than his month of being out in the world.

You see, I didn’t feel so strongly this way with my other two kids when they were born. With our first, she was new. Everything about her was uncharted territory, from the sound of her cry in the middle of the night to the way we thought about her all the time and planned our lives around her. With our second, he was just a different baby. Not easier or harder than our first, but already our attention was split between the two and it was a huge adjustment. He naturally went with the flow of life that we had going before he arrived. It was his only choice, and he still is that way – a lot like his dad.

But now, having welcomed our third baby into the world and into our family, he feels like he’s always been with us. He snuck in, early one morning, after months of anticipation. His siblings immediately loved him, and are ever so gentle with him (excepting J sometimes… he wants to love him hard). His schedule is flexible, his personality a little mix of all of us. He gets hangry (an affectionate nod to his siblings), he’s strong (I’m looking at you, Hubby) especially for a newborn, and he loves snuggling (just like me) even to the point of preferring to be worn than be laid down. He is alert, like his sister was, and sleeps hard like his brother did. He looks simply like himself, instead of being one of us made over.

Of course there are times that we feel overwhelmed – such as thinking about the sheer amount of laundry a newborn adds. There are nights of way too little sleep, and mornings that packing the kids in the car and driving through Chick-fil-A for biscuits is easier than cooking for them. There are naps I wish I was taking and showers everyone else wishes I was taking. But all in all, we don’t feel like he’s an addition of any sort, not a stranger or an outlaw. He feels like he should be here, like he’s always been here. His one month of life with us has been incredibly fun, surprisingly not difficult, and a blessing indeed. For a kid who we were afraid we’d never meet, he sure is the perfect little fit for our family.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Completely Normal Chaos

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!  

When I was in fourth grade, I first heard the phrase “completely normal chaos”. I think it was the title of a book I should’ve read that I don’t remember actually reading. But the phrase, even then, resonated with me. I liked the sound, the feel of it. It brought fun, homey, and comfortable images to mind. I loved the concept of completely normal chaos, and I’ve thought about being a part of a “comfortable crazy” ever since hearing the phrase for that first time.

Well y’all, my day has arrived.

I could use that beloved phrase to describe my life at almost any given moment. If you were a fly on the wall of my home, you would witness a certain level of chaos. I don’t mean natural disaster chaos, or even high school pep rally chaos. I mean you would probably find a mess being made. You would probably find a pile of laundry or four. You would probably hear some crying and some laughter and maybe some shouting. You would see books scattered about, Legos in partial towers on the coffee table, and small bites of food littering the kitchen floor. You would find empty bottles and discarded socks, toy crumbs and puzzle pieces in almost every room. You would hear laughter, or shouting, or crying, or a combination of the three. You might hear music playing over the din, or even catch snippets of Frozen wafting up from the TV in our basement.

For non-parents, or for parents who have forgotten or don’t know what having three children under age four is like, this could be a special kind of torture. I myself took a while to get used to it, and some days if I dwell on it, I still feel my heart beating a little faster than it should. But this chaos, this din, this wonderful messy life is mine, and I am thankful for it.

The voices, be they crying or laughing or arguing or whispering sweet words… those voices are my precious gifts, little companions I brought into the world. The mess, toys, laundry and food crumbs… that mess means that we are abundantly blessed with more than enough food to eat, clothes to wear, and toys to play with. This splendid life I’ve been given is full of chaos, but it’s become my “normal”. That doesn’t mean that it’s easy and perfect, or even that it’s boring. It just means that it’s normal, typical, and familiar. Chaos is often something unusual, but not for us. Our lives are full of this wonderful, exciting, completely normal chaos.