Tag Archives: kids

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Potty Training Is Hard.

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I guess the title sorta gives this one away, huh?

I’m not saying anything that tons of parents haven’t said before. The idea that potty training is hard is not new. But for some reason, it really hit home how hard it was when I had my first poop-in-big-girl-panties experience. And then the second.

  
Gross, am I right? Bleaching the underwear, making sure nothing ended up on the floor, trying to firmly scold without shaming said potty trainer… those things are all important. That last one most of all. I feel like I’m stuck in a lame cycle of “Mommy’s so proud you used the potty!” and “We’ll try harder next time.” when what I really want to do is shout, at the top of my lungs, “YOU JUST WENT – WHY DIDN’T YOU POOP THEN?!”

Okay fine. I’ve shouted it. This morning at 8:00am, I shouted it.

I don’t want to shame my daughter. I don’t want to scare her into using the potty. I’d like to her use it for a good reason, like it’s less messy, or it’s more fun (no, that isn’t a stretch). I want to help her do the right thing, whether it’s use that porcelain throne or not bite her brother (I mean, does he taste good or something!?), because she knows to make the right choice, not because she’s scared of what I’ll say or do.

We’re in a season of pushing limits, repeating what I say (THAT is scary, if you’re not a parenting of a talking child yet.) and coming into her own. I’ve learned I have to clean up my mouth, watch my actions, and not project bad feelings onto my kids. She asks if I’m sad or mad when she can tell I’m not happy. And sometimes, I don’t want her to have that feeling put onto her. Sometimes, I don’t really need her to know I’m totally fed up at cleaning her messes when I know good and well she’s able to tell me when she needs to go (she told me once on a farm and used a Port-A-John, for goodness sake). I don’t want her to think I’m disappointed in her.

As for right now, stuck in potty training hell and knowing I’ve got two more rounds to go, I’m trying to set a good example. Not just for the practical side, but also the emotional side. I want to respond to unfavorable situations positively. I want to be an example of grace as I help her correct her mistakes. I want to (figuratively and literally) clean up the mess, and try harder next time. We both need a little grace to be the best we can be.

home, mommyhood

Bedtime Routines

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I’ve had a lot of people ask me about our bedtime routines, and how we transitioned our kids from their upstairs rooms to their downstairs ones after the renovation. Since my kids are (newly) three and (almost) one and a half, it’s a little tricky to get bedtime done “right”.

So it made total sense to post about this when I heard about the #mysleepstyle campaign for Wayfair.com for Better Sleep Month this month! Kids can hate bedtime, and so I’m posting today about how we make bedtime go a little more smoothly at our house!

First, I try not to rush a bedtime. In a perfect world, our routine is pretty long. We give the kids a bath, brush their teeth, have some snuggle time (usually reading a book, telling a story, or sometimes a bit of wind-down tv or movie time, and singing a song or two) and then kisses and goodnight. We try not to drag it out forever, because requests for “sing one more song” or “lay with me a while” can lead to another 30 minutes that they should be sleeping but they aren’t. I like for them to fall asleep on their own if possible, so that they can do it later.

Second, my kids always sleep with a swaddle. It was never stuffed animals or pacifiers or anything with them… they just love their swaddles. So I have to make sure they’re in their beds with them, or there wouldn’t be any sleep in my house.

These Aden and Anais swaddles are some of our favorites!
These Aden and Anais swaddles are some of our favorites!

Third, we have “white noise” in their rooms for naps and bedtimes. Depending on the season, it could be a humidifier, a fan, an air purifier, or just a sound machine, but there’s always some white noise. Honestly, I don’t know if they would sleep without it, but I know that in case we’re watching tv too loudly or one of them wakes in the night, it keeps them from hearing every single sound in the house and waking them up.

This is our sound machine. It also hooks up to an MP3 player, but we've never used that feature. Ha!
This is our sound machine. It also hooks up to an MP3 player, but we’ve never used that feature. Ha!

When we moved them into their “big kid rooms” downstairs, we just made sure they had all the comforts of their old rooms, and they transitioned just fine. EK requests for us to leave her door open (which we typically close after she’s asleep) but that’s her only thing that’s different. J also has his “big boy bed” already in his room (he’s still sleeping in the crib) so that when he’s ready for the transition to a real bed, his room won’t change much. When we moved EK to a real bed, it was pretty tough, because she was also changing rooms entirely. Looking back, it might’ve been too much of a transition at once. There was a lot of getting up and down and just never going to sleep and moving her back into her old room just so she’d go to sleep. We weren’t very firm about it, come to think of it!

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EK’s bed, fit for a princess!

 

J's sleeping situation.
J’s sleeping situation.

Well, there you have it! As a mom, that’s #mysleepstyle! Our kids have a routine and a room they love, and often, bedtime goes smoothly for us. What do you do with your kids? Do they have a routine like ours, or a lovey they can’t be without?

mommyhood, parenting fails

Parenting Fail #9337: Peeing Outside

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This week, we’ve been visiting my parents in Georgia. They have a pool in the backyard, so my kids have been in and out of it since the moment we pulled in the driveway – literally. We got out of the car, and my parents were chilling on the porch, so of course my kids walked over, saw the pool, and flipped out. It was about 8:00pm, but still light out (summer!) so we just stripped them down, put on their Puddle Jumpers (If y’all don’t know about those, they are lifesavers. No pun intended.) and let them jump in. It was a nice stress release after a looooooong drive. Anyway…

So my kids have been spending lots of time out on the porch, or in the driveway, or walking laps around the house, checking out the nature scene. They’ve also been doing a lot of not really wearing clothes (once again, summer!). I mean, J in a diaper and a shirt, or EK in just her undies, it’s been hot, who cares?

So yesterday afternoon, we were all out on the porch, and EK had gotten out of the pool and gotten back into just her undies. She was playing with some magnetic letters, and all the sudden I look over and this is happening:

 She’s squatting, watching herself pee, right through the undies, right onto the deck. I just started laughing so hard I couldn’t even tell her to stop! My friend Lauren looked over, and started laughing too, and when Hubby came back outside, I was still laughing so hard I could barely speak. I had literally asked her if she needed to go potty less than five minutes before that. I was a little disappointed, but it was too hilarious for me to care much. Especially because she was proud she’d watched herself go…

 This whole potty training thing has been one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever done with EK. And she’s communicating more and more, so her bathroom commentary is hilarious.

Have you ever had a hilarious potty training fail? Tell me about it!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! A little life update for ya… on Sunday, we took the road trip from hell to get to Georgia to see my family for a few days. A six hour trip turned into a nine hour trip… needless to say, Monday was a day of recuperation. Or should’ve been. Or whatever. Anyway, we’re here and having a great time! We’ll post some pictures soon.

We went last week for EK’s 3-year check up at the doctor, and came away with a couple of gems, and they’ve been repeated several times since then:

EK: Dr. Rainey says big girls poop in the potty! Like mommy!

EK (with her doctor’s kit in hand): Can I give you a check up? You’re going to be just fine.

One day, getting in the car, Hubby was strapping EK in, and must have pinched her leg a bit: Daddy! You pinched my leg! This is your last chance!

EK, to our babysitter: mommy and daddy are going on a gate.
Babysitter: what do they do on their date?
EK: eat dessert!

EK: My eyes are blue!
Me: actually, your eyes are hazel, just like daddy’s.
(A little while later) EK: my eyes are basil, just like daddy!

J, putting on a tiara: Hat! (He knows boys don’t typically wear tiaras!)

EK, mid road trip to GA: mom! I’m NOT gonna pee in my pull-up!
Me: Great choice, sweetie! I’m so proud!
EK: I have to potty NOW!
Me: Ryan, find a Starbucks! NOW!! (They typically have clean bathrooms.)

Me: Can you tell Necie (my mom) Happy Mother’s Day?
EK: Necie! It’s happy Mother’s Day!

Picking strawberries with my aunt Jan and my mom…
EK: Can I have some ice cream? (They were selling fresh strawberry ice cream)
Me: It’s almost time for lunch. Maybe after lunch!
(A little later, Jan is eating her ice cream.)
EK: Can I have some ice cream?
Jan: Sure, you can have a bite of mine!
EK: No! I want my own!
Jan: I think yours is inside and you can have it later.
EK, coming inside with Jan: Can I have a bite of your ice cream?
Jan: I just finished it….

Hope everyone has a great week!

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, siblings

I’ll Miss Just Having Two.

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

I AM SO EXCITED about this third child we’re going to welcome into our family. We prayed for him (a lot… that story is here.) and have been waiting and waiting for him to arrive. We knew we wanted him from the get-go. We’ve always said we wanted three or four kids, so we knew he was in our plan. We were not (all that) surprised when I found out I was pregnant, and we have not been a bit disappointed since finding out. Now. That being said…

I’m going to miss just having two kiddos.


Today, the three of us were on a walk. We were, as always, in my double jogger (Love it. Gotta have it. Couldn’t have lived my life this far without it.) just cruising the neighborhood with snacks and water bottles, talking about the color of the car that just drove by, the kinds of foliage we passed, and enjoying the not-too-hot-yet sunshine. I had a thought as we rounded the corner towards home: Our days doing this are numbered. Not necessarily because we won’t be able to stroll around the neighborhood any more. But because I’ll either be carrying one on my back/front, or letting EK walk beside the stroller (ie: freaking out that she’ll be running into the street at any moment) or having someone else to come with us to push another single stroller or push mine while I wear the baby. Hubby goes on walks with us fairly often, but usually it’s special time for the three of us. Soon, for a little while at least, our walks will be cut short because baby D will need to nurse, or he’ll have a blowout, or I will just plain be too tired for an hour-long walk like today’s.

I know – this seems like a first world problem, along with things like “Do I need to buy a different car to fit all those child seats?” and “It’s going to be tough getting out the door with three jackets and sets of shoes to put on.” I know that these phases are short. The time with these kids being so young and needy will fly, and I may even look back and wish it was still here.

But my walk this afternoon with my two amazing, curious, adorable sweeties shed some light on my feelings and changed how I’ll look at these last 12 weeks before my due date. I won’t try to rush through them. I won’t spend all my time preparing for the next baby – like I would have been able to anyway, right? I’ll be thankful for the time that I can lavish on my eldest two. I’ll cherish the one-on-one time I have with J while EK is at preschool. I’ll enjoy the long walks with just the two of them. I’ll love the girls’ lunch dates I like to have with just EK, or sometimes a girlfriend or two. I’ll love playing on the floor, amidst the giggles and tickles, right before bedtime. I’ll do everything I can with my two before I’ll be splitting my attention with another little sweetie who needs me.

mommyhood, siblings

Emotional, Evolving, Steadfast Motherhood

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Mothers.

If you could have told me about the feels you have when you join their ranks, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I’ve cried at silly things my whole life – and of course that hasn’t changed. Books, movies, heartfelt cards and sappy songs all make me cry a little and always have. But moments… they’re what make me tear up nowadays. Little moments, like when my daughter reaches out to hold my hand while we watch a show before bed. Or last night, when Hubby kissed me goodbye as he was leaving for work, my son turned in my lap to give me a smooch on the lips as well. I couldn’t have made that moment up. I cried right there on the spot.

These moments of motherhood are precious and fleeting. They feel numerous and few all at the same time. They can sometimes be trumped by moments of frustration or hurry or tiredness. They can be a little tiny thing that happens every day, and we don’t realize just how magical it is until it stops. Those moments of a milk-drunk newborn as you lay his limp body in the bassinet. The early giggles of an infant whose chubby cheeks jiggle with every laugh. The first few times your child forms the words “I love you.”

In my three short years of motherhood, I am amazed by what I am constantly learning, and doing, and already missing. I am beside myself with excitement over having a new baby in the house again in three months, but I still have a little sadness mingled with my pride when I think about how big my first two “babies” are now. I am thrilled by my children’s personalities and abilities. I am bursting with happiness when I’m simply watching them be themselves.

I am blessed by these kids. I am blessed by the opportunity to be their mom. I am terrified by the responsibility to raise them to be kind and compassionate, not to mention functioning members of society. I am scared to death for them to grow up and not need me anymore. My identity is wrapped up in them without being solely theirs. I am a mother. I’ve been a mother of babies. I am the mother of toddlers. I will be the mother of three. I will be the mother of teenagers, of college students, of adults. I will be a grandmother. Our situation is constantly changing, yet always steady. I am their mother. The mother of my children. The mother of my amazing, beautiful, silly, growing, changing, sometimes frustrating and always loved children.

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Elena Kathleen, at one day old.The little gal who made me a mama.
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Joseph Stevens, at one day old, meeting his big sister.

 

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Sorry for totally missing Tuesday… Cinco de Mayo got me off. Ha! Blame it on anything, right? Anyway, here’s a normal Things Toddlers Say on your Hump Day!

Also, I’ve been thinking… I would technically put EK into the “preschooler” category nowadays, since she’s three and all. I’m going to have to come up with a new branding for this series! I’m taking suggestions. (Note: I like alliteration.) Moving on…

Every once in a while, J puts up one hell of a fight against his car seat. I’m almost unable to get him in there when it’s just me. This particular one of those times, Hubby was helping from the front seat (aka pushing down J’s hips so I could wrestle the screaming, flailing kid). And then Hubby says, “Come on, Joseph! Put your arms in the fun straps!” I was basically worthless after that, dissolving into giggles.

After walking through her grandmother Annie’s garden one afternoon, EK brought me a flower.
Annie: Can you tell Mommy it’s a verbena?
EK: Here Mommy! It’s a banana!
Me: Thanks, sweetie! I thought bananas were yellow! (Verbena is white, FYI. I wouldn’t have known unless I was holding it.)

EK’s new, really sweet thing: I lub you.

J’s new favorite word (said whenever he sees a camera or a phone): CHEESE!!!!!!!

What’s your toddler saying?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

Parenting is a tough gig.

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

Some days, parenting can be tiring, lonely, annoying, or just plain hard. Yes, it can rewarding, beautiful, hilarious, and heartwarming, too. But some days, it’s just a tough gig.

 There are endless bottles to make, diapers to change, naps to protect, blankets to find (or wash), stuffed animals to love on, toys to pick up, laundry to do, tiny shirts to fold, and matching shoes to locate when you’re trying to leave the house. There are moments of sheer exhaustion hearing the 28,562nd question from your toddler, or waking up the fourth time in the same night with your infant whose sleeping has regressed. There are moments of, “I’m totally fed up!” when your little nurser just won’t take a bottle from her Daddy, or when your toddler’s twelfth tantrum of the day just pushed you over the edge. There are times that you pack up and go to the grocery store when you don’t need anything, because you might run into an adult you know, and be able to speak in complete sentences without being interrupted.

I know there are days (like today, in fact) that I want to lock my kids in their room, turn on some loud music, drown myself in ice cream, and have a few minutes that I’m not hearing them bicker over toys, or cry because they’re tired but won’t nap. Do I do that? No. But that doesn’t mean the thought never crossed my mind. I also know that when they’re in middle school, or when they’re teenagers, I’ll have days like that for different reasons. Forgotten homework, squabbles with friends, discipline problems at school, attitude problems and messy bedrooms could all be contenders in the race to make a mama crazy. I’m under no illusion that once all my kids are wearing underwear instead of diapers and going to school till 3:00 pm, my “problems” are over.

But I also know that I love my kids well. They know I love them, that I’m there for them, that I’ll dry their tears, kiss their boo-boos and sing them a song (that I made up, about a car driving by, at the request of my daughter). They are secure in that, even on my bad days, when I just want to plop them in front of the tv, and zone out. Or when we have cereal for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. We survive those days, the kids and I, and I dare say we aren’t any worse off for it. Because hey, being a parent is no joke.

home, mommyhood, siblings

We Work Better Together.

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I don’t have a label for how my family works. Hubby and I both work part-time, flexible hours, and are both home a lot with our kids. We have a lot of family time – more than most families are able to pull off with work schedules, school schedules, etc. Since we’ve only got one in preschool twice a week, and the other is home all day, we have a lot of time that the four of us are hanging out together. Hubby and I truly are great at being each other’s advocate, staying away from the good cop/bad cop game, and not becoming the “default” parent.

We work better together.

Sometimes, our schedules lend themselves to passing the kids back and forth, and hardly seeing each other. Those are the rare, busiest days or weeks. I can see the kids (and myself) suffer. I’m not as great a cook as he is (my daughter says, “You’re a good cooker-man, Daddy!”), so when they’re with me, they get a great breakfast, okay lunch, and whatever I can find (or, let’s be honest, pick up) for dinner. When they’re with Hubby, or when we’re all together, we have well thought out, home-cooked, delicious meals. I like to be out of the house a lot, so when I’m there, we go to parks, play dates, running errands, and little trips to do other things. Hubby is a little more of a homebody, so they don’t really go anywhere if I’m gone.

The kids also get more one-on-one time with us, because sometimes if I go out, I just take one of the kids. It’s a little easier logistically (a little less buckle-unbuckle-buckle-unbuckle, am I right?) and I get special time that they aren’t pulling each other’s hair, or trying to play with the same toy. They get our undivided attention, feel our love for them as they are, not them as a group. And we are lucky to be able to love them so singularly so often.

So although my family isn’t in an easily-labeled umbrella of parenting style, I think we have our best possible situation going on. Our kids get equal parts mom and dad. As mom and dad, we get equal parts  of our kids. We share responsibilities at home, like laundry, cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping. We share time off, time alone, and time at work. We share preschool drop-off, doctor’s appointments, bedtime routines, and afternoon naps when we aren’t feeling so hot (addendum: if we’re pregnant).

Am I suggesting that you all go quit your jobs, pick up part-time ones, and try to do what we’re doing? Absolutely not. I know for some people, they’d go crazy in the different-every-day schedule, and the whaddya-mean-dad-does-the-cooking? situation. But I am saying that teamwork makes it better for us. Working together is what we like to do, it’s what’s best for our kids, and what’s best for us as parents and as a married couple. We can both put our best foot forward, take a break when we’re burned out, and never worry about whether we can remember when naps are and whether or not we cleaned all the sippy cups. Being equally yoked and collaborative partners in our lifestyle brings out the best in us, and in our kids. Is there anything better than that?

mommyhood, parenting fails

No Pull-Ups During Naps: Parenting Fail #397

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Today, my daughter took a nap. Unremarkable, right? She took a nap. No big deal. But let me back up.

We’re in the throes of potty training. EK’s wearing big girl panties about half the time, and a pull-up or diaper the other half. She’s not sleeping in underwear yet, of course, so for today’s nap, Daddy didn’t find any diapers in her room (you know, because she’s only wearing them half the time, and we’ve only just moved her down to her new room), and put her in a pull-up. Most of the time, this wouldn’t present a problem; it holds pee fairly well and we change her directly after her nap every time. But today, when she woke up and came upstairs, she had a massively gross pull-up, which had gotten on her pants a bit, so Daddy cleaned her up, and let her run pantsless while I went downstairs to retrieve the underwear. (And then he ran away to “help his dad with something.” Yeah right, Daddy. You must’ve known what was coming…)

When I got to her room, I noticed two things: 1. There were wipes all over her bed. 2. It smelled awful. These are two bad things, that when put together, are truly terrible. The massively dirty pull-up had also caused a problem in the bed, which EK had so graciously tried to clean up before she came upstairs. Mess. Was. Everywhere. Every single item on her bed needed to go straight into the washing machine on the “hot” cycle. Y’all, I am not kidding. My heart started beating faster as I tried to not smell anything.

I bundled the wipes up (including the ones spread all over a book, which is now soggy and half-ruined) and threw them in the trash can, and started stripping the bed. I carried several loads of pillows, sheets and the waterproof (thank God) mattress cover to the laundry room (thank God we have a laundry room now! Ahhh!) to start the process of cleaning up. I sprayed everything with stain remover, switched the laundry over (because of course, something was already in the washer AND in the dryer) and put in the first load. Y’all, how did it happen?!

I know how it happened.

My kids sleep like tornadoes. And when they finally do find a resting place for the majority of a sleeping session, it’s typically a strange one. For instance, EK likes to sprawl across all her pillows, instead of have her head on a pillow and her legs down. She sleeps up against the headboard of the bed 90% of the time. Hence poop on the pillows. (Sorry. You should’ve known there might be a gross detail or two.)

Back to the clean up… Now my pantsless daughter is upstairs, so I call her downstairs, just to get her side of the story.

Me: Did you get poop on the book?
EK: No.
Me: Did you get poop on the pillows that are on the floor?
EK: No.
Me: Did you sit down before you came upstairs?
EK: …..

And now I’m freaking out about the BRAND NEW CARPET.

Trying to keep my cool, I remember she’s still pantsless. I start to help her with her underwear, and notice she doesn’t seem to have been cleaned up well. Then, I notice there’s a little poop on the inside of her shirt. “Oh well,”  I think. “Daddy must not have noticed it.” So I take her shirt off, and now I see the poop on her back. I start to clean it off, and a thought pops in my head. “If Daddy didn’t know all this had happened down here, I’m sure he didn’t wipe her hands off. HE DIDN’T WIPE HER HANDS OFF!” And then, I start freaking out about how many things she’s touched since the initial accident, and where all the poop might be and how I’m going to find it/clean it off, and then I’m all, “Screw it. It’s bath time.” J just happens to be lurking around the corner, trying to decipher and smell and the ruckus, so I toss him in, too. Clean babies, right? Right. Babies who are never wearing pull-ups during naptime ever again.