Tag Archives: life

It ain’t pretty. 

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

The grump king was just mad he slept through dinner.
 Sometimes, a house full of kids ain’t pretty. It’s messy. It’s frustrating. It’s loud. It’s full of surprises, no matter how much you plan. It’s often a battle: you vs. them, you vs. laundry, you vs. the unknown smell, you vs. screen time, or you vs. the version of you you’d like to be. 

Sometimes, like the other night for me, things get really crazy. It’s one thing after another, and there’s no one to blame, not even yourself (because sometimes, if I’m honest, it’s my fault). But sometimes, there are so many factors and so many things involved, it’s just too crazy and we can’t get through it without finding a little humor. 

On Saturday, Hubby and I had loose plans to go get (apparently amazing) burgers with some friends about 30 minutes from home. Once we started making further plans, our friends didn’t feel like going that far, but still wanted to hang. So we changed location and time, but kept the date. As my fam got ready to go, this kid didn’t want shoes, that one didn’t want a jacket, and the youngest screamed from the moment he got into his car seat. I was on edge from the crying, and from the sheer effort it takes to get all of us out the door…and because I had really wanted that burger with the obscene amount of bacon and the fried egg on top that everyone had been raving about. So when we finally got into the car, I sorta… exploded. I may or may not have told Hubby I wanted to run away by myself. I may or may not have meant it right then. But then I shut up, and we drove to dinner. 

Halfway there, I realized I had forgotten to grab baby wipes. This, with three kids under four, is a big mistake. Hubby offered to stop at the grocery store and grab some, and I declined, mumbling about how napkins or wet paper towels would do, and how stupid I felt for the obvious fail at Mom 101. 

When we got to dinner, it was time for D to eat his oatmeal, so he sat in Hubby’s lap while I fed him. We made precious little mess, and I went as far as to congratulate myself for not getting covered in it. How dare I?! Because the next thing I knew, he had puked. And puked some more. After the third one, I had changed his bib three times, his pants once, and used every napkin at the table. So then, obviously, there was one more spit up. Then he just got fussy. And fussier. And fussier. No amount of swaying or bouncing, toys or funny faces was making him happy, so Hubby and I deduced that he must’ve emptied his belly and gotten hungry. Because why else would he still be all mad? Well, two sips into his bottle, he passed out. Hard. Ooooh! Tired! That was it. Well, Mr. Man likes to sleep on his belly, so in my lap, he started to turn, until he was awkwardly belly down, splayed across my body. I managed to maneuver him to a slightly less awkward position, but it’s still a little disconcerting trying to eat a salad and a wrap with a twenty pound baby across your lap.

When he fell asleep, it was almost like that was my older kids’ cue to lose it completely. EK decided sitting was for losers and she would stand on one leg, with one butt cheek on her chair. J decided shoes were only for people who had their feet on the floor, and promptly threw his boots off the high chair he was in, and spend the rest of his evening fighting to get out of it. Both were fairly covered in their dinners (spaghetti with meat sauce and fries with ketchup, because obviously tomato is the only vegetable, and it exists only to be used in sauces). This was the point where I really regretted not letting Hubby stop for wipes. There was red everywhere, and several people at our table had been spit up on. And as I looked around at the laughing faces of our friends, a sweet Hubby who had hopefully not held my bad mood against me, a round of empty beers, and happy (or sleeping) babes, I made a decision. I could sit there brooding about how things hadn’t gone my way, or I could decide to have a nice evening, despite the crazy. All in all, the sequence of events was so bad it was funny. And I decided to laugh. I decided to wage my war on unpreparedness and loud kids later. I was surrounded by my favorite people, and I shouldn’t be sulking.  I should be having fun. And y’all, I did. I enjoyed myself with spit up on my sleeve, a baby sprawled across my lap, and kids who ate ketchup for dinner. I chose to ignore the battle instead of fighting it, and no one is even worse for the wear. 

Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! This week has been crazy, what with Christmas and J’s birthday, and I’ve unfortunately had a fair amount of time away from the kiddos. But here are a few gems; they will tide you over! Happy Tuesday!

Hubby snuggling with EK as she falls asleep…
EK: Daddy, you’re the biggest man I’ve ever seen.

EK, totally randomly: I rest my case!

Me: While daddy and I are gone, I want you to take a really good nap, okay?
EK: Yeah, that’s what little girls do. Close their eyes, and then wake up! But while my eyes are closed, the tears can still come down.
Me: …

J: My water! My water! My water! My water!
Hubby: What about your water?
J: My water is wet!

At the Mexican restaurant, in the bathroom…
EK: They have wonderful-smelling, pink soap!
Me: It does smell nice, doesn’t it?
EK: I could kiss the sink!
Me: NOOO!

 EK, wearing this dress: Can you bring me a horse to ride on?

My mom got the kids these things called FatHeads for the kids’ rooms. Basically they’re enormous stickers that go on the walls. J got a Tonka (construction vehicles) set, and EK got almost life-sized princesses. When she took our friends Andrea and Chris downstairs to see them, she said, “These are my people.”

Me, singing Dave Matthews: I’m the king of the castle, and yore a dirty rascal.
J: I’m a dirty rascal! (on pitch)

Got this post on my Facebook timeline from one of the children’s ministry leaders at my church: I went in to EK’s class yesterday to teach the Bible Story and sing with the kids and EK requested “Shake it Off.” Still laughing about it today. 😂😆 — feeling amused

The only thing I’m really missing is the fact that J copies almost exactly what EK says… right down to poor grammar, random comments, and rude statements. So there’s that.

29What are you kiddos saying? Did it have to do with Christmas?

Some Assembly Required

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I had a lovely experience with Christmas this year. My two oldest kids are old enough to really appreciate more complicated toys and notice when things are a little different. I spent a few hours setting up for Christmas morning, and making sure everything looked “just so”. I even made my brother help me with the Lego village. 

So naturally, on the eve of my son’s birthday, only 3 days after Christmas, I abhorred the fact that I was already wrapping more boxes and assembling a birthday celebration. This feeling was even more pronounced since I had bought a special surprise for him months ago, that I imagined being the favorite birthday gift. 

A friend of mine had bought a teepee for her son, on sale and very nice. Online, it looked similar to a pop-up tent thing my daughter has (in the shape of a princess castle of course) that J loves, so I thought it would be the perfect compliment to that. The box arrived amid several other Christmas gifts, so I put the entire box away to open later when I prepared for his birthday. 

Tonight, when my kids got in bed, I began to look at the Christmas crazy left from the last few days of slowly dwindling house guests and overflowing bins and boxes of stuff. I’m supposed to host a birthday party tomorrow?! I don’t care how small it’s supposed to be, that’s a little bit of pressure. So naturally I run the vacuum half-heartedly and pick up miscellaneous items from new toy sets and one thousand little scraps of wrapping paper I had so carefully folded and sparingly taped. And then… I remember the teepee.

I retrieved the box from the garage, and got to work. I’ve got a few choice pictures of my progress…  

 When I took it out of the box, I was surprised to find wooden poles. What happened to that pop-up tent I ordered? Along with the poles there was treated canvas. Was this thing an actual tent?! Is he, at some point in the future, going to ask me to camp in this thing?!

So, I got to work, in the middle of the living room floor, glass of wine close by for moral support. The directions seemed simple: Twist poles together. Put poles into inserts in canvas. Tie poles and grommets in canvas together. Enjoy your tent. Easy! 

 Forty-five long minutes later, I call my mom upstairs to help me tie knots, and we stand back and look at our newest abode within an abode. I could probably curl up and sleep in this thing. J is gonna LOVE it. I had envisioned it in his room. I’ll probably still let him keep it there, but it’s gonna be tight.  

 Moral of the story? J will love it. And I would do anything for my son, especially on his birthday, that I think he will love. Even after a week of crazy has just happened, I will open my home to even more crazy, because he deserves to be celebrated. I love him for who he is, but also (mostly) because he is my sweet, beloved son. Will he remember his second birthday? Nope. Will his adult self remember an awesome, surprisingly durable, traffic cone-like teepee? Maybe not. But will he remember the love his mama put into everything that had to do with him? I sure hope so. 

If I can love my silly, sweet middle child so much, after only two years, that it brings tears to my eyes, how much more can my Father, creator of the cosmos and author of my destiny, love me? I may be sweet, I am definitely silly, and I often feel lost in the shuffle, but I always know that I have the deep, secure love of a Father who would do anything to make me whole. 

Things a Mom Can Do When She Sleeps All Night

This also appears on My Big Jesus!  

It’s no surprise that moms frequently don’t get enough sleep. If they aren’t woken by babies or kids or pets, they’re up worrying about why they haven’t been woken. But on the odd day that a mother wakes, all on her own, having rested fully the night before, she transforms into an amazing creature… a superhero of sorts. She can take on the world in a whole new way, and she’ll only need two cups of coffee to do it! Here are some things a well-rested mother might do if she sleeps the entire night:

1. She will wake up with her first alarm. She won’t even hit snooze. She’ll just stretch her arms wide, take a deep breath, and start her day with a smile.

2. She will cook herself a hot breakfast, and not share it with anyone. Frying eggs, brewing coffee, and toasting bread, all before her children wake up.

3. She will make pancakes, and not even be annoyed about it. Special breakfast will be no big deal, and the children will give her a cheer!

4. She will pack the children up for an outing before lunchtime. She is excited enough to hit the park AND the grocery store – in one fell swoop!

5. She will actually eat lunch! And I don’t just mean whatever her kids leave on their plates. She will fix herself a sandwich, alongside the children’s healthy meals she will patiently coax them to eat. 

6. She won’t turn on the TV. She doesn’t need background noise or distraction for the children. She is so energetic! She will become tickle monster or professional storyteller before the TV comes on.

7. She will plan a healthy and delicious dinner for her family. Since she went to the grocery store, the kitchen is her oyster as she minces garlic, chops peppers, sears steak and bakes cookies.

8. She will tackle bath time, pajama wielding, tooth brushing and story reading all in time for an early bedtime. She is fearless as she enters the witching hour fray. 

Why, oh why, can’t this well-rested woman be you? Because she’s mythical, of course – an idealized version of you when you get even six hours of sleep in a row. In other words, she is a very figment of our imaginations. Everyone knows that mothers don’t sleep!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Pickings might be a bit slim this week, since Hubby and I spent three days (THREE DAYS?!) away from the babes, but I’ve given you everything I’ve got! More about our trip is coming! 🙂 Enjoy!

EK: Is my birthday in April?
Me: Yep! It’s in about five months.
EK: Will I be four?
Me: Yep!
EK: And then I’ll be five?
Me: Yep!
EK: How many are you?
Me: In a few days, I’ll be thirty.
EK: After five, will I be thirty?
Me: After five and six and a lot more, you’ll be thirty.
EK: YAY!
I’m just glad she’s excited about it. It makes me feel a little less old!

J, as Annie left: Anniiiiiiiie! I love youuuuuuu!
Me, Annie: *melting*

Ek doing some crafting
Hubby: Did you make that?!
EK: Yep!
Hubby: Get out of town, Charlie Brown!
EK: I not Charlie Brown!

More Christmas misnomers:
Christmas Tree=Christmas lights (J)
Christmas Sweater=Christmas Weather (J)
Peppermints=Purplemints (EK)
Hot Chocolate=Hot Chwockit (J)

Me, to EK in the other room: Whatcha doing?
EK: Cleaning the floor.
Me, looking to see her with a mop and a spray bottle of (thank goodness) Method: Whelp, you are, aren’t you?
EK: Rubby, dub, bub!

Next week I’m sure I’ll be back to the normal amount, but these should tide us all over. What are you kids saying these days? Any Christmas-related funnies?15

5 Reasons Parenting My Threenager Is Exhausting

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

 

My threenager is amazing. She’s smart, compassionate, curious, kind, and surprisingly intuitive. She’s also stubborn, opinionated, extremely bold, and ridiculously energetic. Honestly, I think those are all good qualities to have, especially as a female. (And the strong women of the world applauded.) But sometimes, as her mother and the person who spends the most time with her, I get exhausted by her inexhaustible nature. Here are a few reasons why.

She Has So Many Questions. Asking questions is good. It’s how we learn and grow. However, when I’ve been asked 57 questions before I’ve uttered one word and I’m still in the bed, it wears on me. My threenager also has this knack for not hearing the answer to a question she asking, and therefore asks it again, and again, and again. This is a special kind of hell for a mom.

She Hates Bedtime. She doesn’t necessarily hate the process, or even the idea of laying in bed and snuggling her blanket and animals. What she hates is the going to sleep part. She thinks she’s missing something – even if what she’s missing is my brushing my teeth and heading to bed. She often gets up multiple times, wanders the house, and has endless energy she didn’t have when I asked her to put away her toys.

She Is a Fast Talker. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it. It doesn’t matter what Mom says… she will find a way to get what she wants. She’s already figured out that if she can get to Daddy quick enough, he might not know to say no. She will climb, run, and beg to get whatever it is she wants. When she’s a young adult, I’m going to be proud of these very qualities, but right now, it can be frustrating.

She Is Dramatic. The girl could win an Oscar.  Reason #1 (of a thousand) we don’t watch Calliou is she already knows how to whine. She does it even when she doesn’t need to, and frequently incorporates a classic eye roll/angsty sigh combo. The speed at which a situation escalates is record-breaking, and usually has to do with her little brother.

And finally…

She Knows Everything. That’s why we call them threenagers, right? They think they know what they need AND what everyone else needs. I’m just praying we have a break from it before she hits middle school.

Why I Decided To Stop Breastfeeding (And You Can, Too)

Breast is best. Did you know? Breast is best. Everyone tells you that. If you don’t know that, you must be totally secluded from women or parents or doctors.

But if you ask me, sometimes, breast isn’t always best.

There. I said it. For me, breastfeeding has been difficult. I have three children, and I have breastfed all of them for various amounts of time. Two nursed only a few weeks, and the rest of the time were fed with bottles of expressed milk or formula. My middle child managed to nurse for 8 months (an incredible accomplishment for both of us), and even though I was also pumping, my supply wasn’t enough for that to be his only nourishment.

I’ve taken supplements, consumed my weight in water, eaten healthfully and plentifully, done everything I could to keep my supply up… It’s just never worked. For me, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t keep up with my hungry babies. And in my household, a hungry baby made for an angry baby, which made for stressed mom, which made for upset dad, and very little sleep for all of us. Our sanity was going out the window, so we threw “Breast is best” to the wind, and supplemented with formula. Our babies grew and grew, were happier and happier, are rarely sick and the most fun and intelligent kiddos I know.

Just this week, as my youngest turned four months old, I had a difficult conversation with Hubby. “I’m tired,” I said tearfully. “I’m stressed, and I want those two hours of my day back.” Those two hours I spend pumping. Those were two hours that I could be spending time with my children, writing, reading, showering, folding laundry, or SLEEPING were always sacrificed to the milk machine. I slaved at the pump to get less than three bottles a day for my little guy (who eats like a horse – what will I do when he’s a teenager?!) when I could be feeding him formula and actually playing with him during those times. Instead, my free moments while the kids were asleep, at school, or playing with Daddy were spent in my room getting a few ounces of what everyone told me was the best thing for my child.

So I stopped.

I stopped my supplements. I stopped charting my water intake. I stopped stressing about a schedule. I weaned myself off the pump.

Y’all, it feels great. I’ve gotten more sleep, spent more time with Hubby and the kids, and I’m less stressed about how I’m going to plan those hours into my day. Breast was only best for so long… and then it wasn’t anymore. Don’t crack under the pressure if it’s not working for you. I’m not staying don’t try – you absolutely should give it a shot. For so many, it is the best. But if it’s not, that’s okay. You’re not broken and neither is your child. There are other ways to nourish them, and certainly other ways to bond with them. You do you, mamas, however it works. That is the best.

Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday 🙂 I hope you’ve been having a great time with parties, decorations, shopping and celebrating the season! I know that we are having a great time experiencing the magic of Christmas with our young sets of eyes! Here are this week’s funnies! 

 EK, getting in push up position: 22, Mom?

EK: I wanna hold your hand!
Me: Okay! I love holding hands!
EK: Your hand is like, comfy, Mom!
Me: Aw thanks! That makes me feel good.
EK: It makes your heart happy? And heart sing?

EK, holding a phone: I’m checking my a-mail!

J, very tired at dinner: I need you carry me now.
Hubby: Do you want to get in your jammies?
J: Yeah. And panties. I want da panties now.
He thinks since his sister wears them, he can too.

We’ve put responsibility on EK to be a good example for her brothers. So now, every time J does something wrong, she says, “I need to teach him not to _____.” And if she does something wrong, she says, “Joseph’s teaching me to do that!” This includes but is not limited to the following:
Spitting (at the table or anywhere)
Screaming (at the table or anywhere)
Sticking tongue out
Biting
Pushing
Not eating one’s meal

J, giggling in D’s face: You so funny, Davis!

The scariest thing my daughter has ever said to me happened the other morning while I was still in the bed…
EK: Mom, look! I painted my nails!
Me: Where?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE ELSE IS IT?!?!

The kids have been obsessed with Inside Out. The main character Riley plays hockey, and EK has been begging to go skating. Imagine her surprise when I was putting her to bed Friday night, and telling her we would see Disney on Ice the next day…

Me: Well, tomorrow we are going to see Elsa and Anna ice skate!
EK: REALLY?!
Me: Yes! We’re going to go see lots of princesses go skating together! (Grasping at straws for how to explain something like that to a kid who’s never seen it before)
EK: Yay! What about Ariel and Cinderella?
Me (hoping it’s true): Yes, them too!

J, every time I open the car door to get him out of his seat: You scared me!

J, jumping out from behind literally everything: Boo Mommy! Boo Daddy! Boo Ella Kate! Boo Davis!

And then this happened…  J: Boo guys!
Me: Be careful, and sit down.
J: Yeah! Careful chair! (Sits down, then gets back up.)
Me: Sit down or get off the chair.
J: (runs away)
Me: Well, that’s decided.

So there you have it… our silly kids! What are you kiddos saying? What’s so funny about them?

Currently

Happy Monday! Christmas is in full swing around here. I’ve even wrapped two presents! Okay, fine. Those were for a Dirty Santa swap we did with our small group last night, but still. It counts! I’ve been spending time doing a little extra baking than usual, making holiday plans, coordinating who gets to attend which parties (why are so many of them on the same day?!) and still trying to find time for little things with just my five family members. It’s surprisingly tough. Anyway, I’m linking up today with Becky at Choose Happy and the other wonderful bloggers to talk about what we’ve been up to currently. Link up, comment, and join us!

currently button

Wearing || all my favorite sweaters! It’s finally cold enough to wear a sweater without getting hot during the day, so I’ve busted out my favorites…

Crafting || with peppermints! I’ll post about this later when we’ve done it, but my plan is to melt peppermints (hard candy ones) inside metal cookie cutters to make ornaments! A friend had posted pictures of their (successful!) attempt at it, and I thought it looked like a cute and easy way to let the kids do a fun craft. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Playing || Heads Up! We’ve always loved this as a party game, but last night with our small group buddies, we played for over an hour! We really like it, and the fact that you can get new decks when you start repeating (and there are always updates) is really handy. It kills your cell phone battery, but it’s just so fun! We had a great time with the Act It Out category last night.  

   

Eating || Breakfast with Santa! EK was the only one that got to go (boys were at the doctor that morning) but she had a great time with her grandparents and cousins! She told Santa she just wanted candy canes. Ha! 

 Watching || Disney on Ice! We went with our sweet friends (who have kids almost the exact same ages as our three) to Greensboro to see it, and I’m so glad we did! It was almost too long… J got a little antsy towards the end, but we all made it through, and they were enthralled! 

    
 

Well, there is our family update. What’s been going on with you and yours?

Slow Down.

  
Y’all. Time is flying. Weather is cooling, decorations are twinkling, and the days go by so quickly! That could have a little bit to do with the fact that the sun is only up for ten hours, but eh… who is paying attention to that?

This season of waiting, of already and not yet has even more meaning this year. Not only are we celebrating the coming of Christ as a helpless babe, but we are also celebrating Christmas… a first christmas for D, a second for J (and likely his first in memory) and a fourth for EK (and she is all about the traditions since she remembers some things from last year). 

We also have parties, church services and gigs to plan for. This is all in addition to leaving town all of next weekend, and leaving the kids with my parents. Hubby’s cousin is getting married, and I am turning 30. It just seemed like the right time. But what will we be missing when we go?

EK remembers our advent calendar each day, and understands when we tell her something special is happening. For instance, tomorrow we have breakfast with Santa with Hubby’s family, followed by Disney on Ice with some dear friends. It makes for a busy day, but a wonderful time  for our kids. I am just as excited as they are! 

But there is some trepidation there. With our littles, it’s proven to be hard to get anywhere, much less on time. It’s hard to pack everything we need, feed everyone on time, and let everyone get their rest when they need it. I know this is a season, and a short one in the grand scheme, but I am lost in the details. 

I am struggling to not lose sight of the important things, as I cross off my to-do list, see my gift-buying list get shorter, and attend more events than I ever thought possible. How did I get so busy? Didn’t I decide to stay home so that life could be more simple? It just seems more hectic as we get closer to Christmas. 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way… I can’t be. Others have full plates or young children or both. All parents balance their work and home lives, and try to make Christmas magical for the children. But as life gets crazier, I find myself pining for morning pajama dance parties, pb&j lunches and movie-watching evenings. I just want to relax and read Christmas stories with my family, and there doesn’t seem to be time. 

So here, in the eleventh hour, I choose to slow down. I’m not adding anything else to my full calendar, or looking for any other happenings. I want to watch Christmas movies more evenings than not. I want to drink hot chocolate. I want to drive around our neighborhood, looking for lights. I’ll unplug, bake cookies, take naps, and read those Christmas books over and over. My kids will love it, because they love slow time with us. They’re not begging to travel or go to events. They’re not asking for fancy toys and huge presents (yet, anyway). I will slow down and enjoy this magical time of twinkly lights, sugary treats, family and friends, and the baby Jesus’ birth. We all need it. We all need love and grace and hope that even in a busy, and sometimes scary world, there are good things.