5 Things I Cannot Do Now That I’m a Parent

Earlier this week, I wrote a post that many of your said was pretty spot on (thanks, by the way!) about several things I can do now that I have kids. Well, to counter the post about things I can do, here’s a list of  things I cannot do, now that I have kids.  


 1. Wear nice clothes. If I have a lovely silk blouse, or a dry clean-only skirt, you can bet the second I put it on that someone’s lunch (or more likely, bodily fluid) is on it somewhere. The saddest part? Often, it’s my fault. Mom brain made me clumsy.

2. Leave my food/drink unattended. If I get to the couch with my cup of coffee, but forget my laptop, I can’t just leave the coffee sitting on the table while I go get my laptop. Oh no – that is a mistake of disastrous proportions. Not only will one or the other of my toddlers ingest a dangerous (read: any) amount of caffeine, but it’ll also be down their shirt, puddled in their shoes, and spilled on the rug. Believe me, I speak from experience. If the consumable item I leave unattended happens to be a snack? All bets are off. It’s finished by the time I return.

3. Sleep late. There is an exception when my mom is visiting, or when I’ve prearranged with the Hubby that I’d like to sleep late (since he often works nights, this is usually not an option). But for the most part, there is no sleeping late. One or the other of them is up early, smelling like poop and wanting breakfast. How they can think about eating while they have poop in their pants is beyond me.

4. Communicate effectively. Partially, this is because the little humans you’re communicating with can’t really understand everything, or communicate back effectively either. The other reason is because when most of your communicating is done with one syllable words and kid terms for things (boo-boo, potty, nom-noms, you get the idea), you may temporarily lose the ability to hold an intelligent conversation with other adults.

5. Be alone. I’m an extrovert. I love being with people; I get energy from it and typically have a great time even if the people are strangers. That being said, sometimes, I just want to be alone. Whether it’s for a shower, a potty break, or to savor the only first hot sip of coffee, I’d like a few minutes that are quiet, and without my footman and lady in waiting.

Do you agree? What are some other things you miss doing now that you’re a parent?

8 thoughts on “5 Things I Cannot Do Now That I’m a Parent”

  1. I agree with all five things. As a mom of two boys (6 and 9), I can’t talk about anything that doesn’t involve sports or gross stuff. They just won’t tolerate a conversation about clothes, hair or anything not boyish 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think we both know I miss sleep the most. With the exception of today, I got to sleep until 12. Only woke up 3 times to nurse him and back to bed for me. I needed it though! 🙂 also the clothes thing, if it’s not convenient to nurse in, I don’t put it on.

    Liked by 2 people

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