Things Toddlers Say

Y’all. I was talking with my friend Andrea last night, and we decided that pretty much every single thing that comes out of EK’s mouth is a hilarious one-liner. In five minutes, she said enough hilariously random things to fill up an entire post. But catching (and recording) every single thing she says is impossible, so alas… I’ve only got the highlights. SO. Here they are!

EK, unprompted: When I was a baby, I pooped, and it was YUCKY!

EK: I had yummy snack at school today, but I only ate the cupcake. I didn’t eat the chicka chicka boom boom popcorn.
An hour later, I realized she meant Boom Chicka Pop.

At dinner one night:
EK: Mom, make sure you eat all your steak and drink all your wine.
Me: Noted.

Showing me this picture:

Me: I like that rainbow on the side! And is that a cabana on the beach?
EK: No, it’s a toot.
Me: A tutu?
EK: Nope, a toot. On the beach!

The same night…
Me: How many layers of lip gloss did you just put on?!?!
EK: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! I just wanted to be really sparkly.

Important conversations with our friends…
EK: Drew, do you love your mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, I do.
EK: Does Lauren love her mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, she does.
EK: Well I love myself. And even, you can love yourself or your neighbor!

The problem with choosing your outfits…
EK: I want to wear my new dress!
Me: Okay, but when we go to he playground, we should probably wear something else.
EK: I don’t want to go to the playground.
Me: Well, we made plans for everyone to go to the playground, and we’ve already told them all.
EK: I want someone to come sitter me while you go to the playground.

J’s new thing: “Go away.”  It’s used as a response to being asked to do something, being told it’s time to go/go to bed, when his sister appears, or when he is unhappy about anything else.

J, swirling his blanket around and growling: Did you saw that?!

J’s word for trash can: crash chan

EK stalling bedtime in an unprecedented stream of consciousness: Can you pray to Jesus while you sleep? You two (Hubby and me), you pray to Jesus while you sleep and I will and then J will. And D when he watches us do it will do it too. And he will get big like you and you and pick me up, because he’s pretty small yet. Wait! I have something to tell you. I want special drinks in the morning… (whispering) hot chocolate… And a giant cupcape. To eat.

EK on breakfast: I need to drink my smoothie so I’ll be big like you. If I don’t, I’ll turn small like D.

EK on growing up: I want to be a mommy like you! And J can be the daddy, and D will be our baby!

EK’s term for “That’s interesting!” is “That’s entering!” She’s used it at least a hundred times in the past two days.

What hilarious things do your kids say? What phrases are they stuck on?

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