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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! Aaaand that’s enough chat for me this morning! Here goes nothin’… 

For the record, I came downstairs and this was already happening.
 J, arms wide: Jump me! (He means “Catch me.”)

EK spent one whole morning singing about “sinner ash”. I’m still unsure what she actually meant.

J, running around: I’m crunchy! I’m crunchy! (He was pretending to be a shark.)

In other news, no one would own up to standing Buzz up on their dinner date.

One morning while we were having breakfast, EK asked me to take a selfie of her and me. After I did, J ended up with my phone, and then this happened… 

It was the cutest thing, watching him discover it was him he could see on there, playing a little peekaboo with himself, and trying to show everyone else he was on there. Adorable.

During playtime together, EK likes to order J around. This might include putting him in time out, having him make dinner, “saving” the baby from him, telling him he can’t have juice, or pretending he is anyone but who he is.

EK: Josie’s hands are bigger than my hands.
Me: Okay…

Me: I’m making strawberry pancakes for breakfast!
EK: I don’t like strawberry pancakes. Unless they’re good. Then I might eat them.

Andrea: Who are you gonna marry?
EK: Nobody! Just myself!

After hearing me talk about going to T.J. Maxx…
EK: Mom, can I go to tea bags max with you?
Me: ……

J: I can’t find my chicken!
Me: Your chicken is in the sauce.
J: But I can’t find it!
EK: But you like chicken in sauce!

EK, discussing foods she likes: and you know what else I like to eat?!
Me: What?
EK: Baby Davis! Chomp! I ate him!
I think we’ve nom nom nommed the baby too many times.

What are you kiddos saying these days? Anyone else like to chomp the baby?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Y’all. I was talking with my friend Andrea last night, and we decided that pretty much every single thing that comes out of EK’s mouth is a hilarious one-liner. In five minutes, she said enough hilariously random things to fill up an entire post. But catching (and recording) every single thing she says is impossible, so alas… I’ve only got the highlights. SO. Here they are!

EK, unprompted: When I was a baby, I pooped, and it was YUCKY!

EK: I had yummy snack at school today, but I only ate the cupcake. I didn’t eat the chicka chicka boom boom popcorn.
An hour later, I realized she meant Boom Chicka Pop.

At dinner one night:
EK: Mom, make sure you eat all your steak and drink all your wine.
Me: Noted.

Showing me this picture:

Me: I like that rainbow on the side! And is that a cabana on the beach?
EK: No, it’s a toot.
Me: A tutu?
EK: Nope, a toot. On the beach!

The same night…
Me: How many layers of lip gloss did you just put on?!?!
EK: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! I just wanted to be really sparkly.

Important conversations with our friends…
EK: Drew, do you love your mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, I do.
EK: Does Lauren love her mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, she does.
EK: Well I love myself. And even, you can love yourself or your neighbor!

The problem with choosing your outfits…
EK: I want to wear my new dress!
Me: Okay, but when we go to he playground, we should probably wear something else.
EK: I don’t want to go to the playground.
Me: Well, we made plans for everyone to go to the playground, and we’ve already told them all.
EK: I want someone to come sitter me while you go to the playground.

J’s new thing: “Go away.”  It’s used as a response to being asked to do something, being told it’s time to go/go to bed, when his sister appears, or when he is unhappy about anything else.

J, swirling his blanket around and growling: Did you saw that?!

J’s word for trash can: crash chan

EK stalling bedtime in an unprecedented stream of consciousness: Can you pray to Jesus while you sleep? You two (Hubby and me), you pray to Jesus while you sleep and I will and then J will. And D when he watches us do it will do it too. And he will get big like you and you and pick me up, because he’s pretty small yet. Wait! I have something to tell you. I want special drinks in the morning… (whispering) hot chocolate… And a giant cupcape. To eat.

EK on breakfast: I need to drink my smoothie so I’ll be big like you. If I don’t, I’ll turn small like D.

EK on growing up: I want to be a mommy like you! And J can be the daddy, and D will be our baby!

EK’s term for “That’s interesting!” is “That’s entering!” She’s used it at least a hundred times in the past two days.

What hilarious things do your kids say? What phrases are they stuck on?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Every Tuesday I think, “I can’t believe it’s here again! Do I have enough material to even do this again?!” And yes. Every Tuesday, yes I do. Here it is, y’all!

J got a new Batman hoodie from his grandmother. He loves it, and I’ve been singing the Batman theme song every time he wears it.
EK: Mom, he looks like fat man!
Me: No, honey. It’s Batman, with a B​.
EK: Yeah, fat man!
Me: No, Batman. Ba, ba, ba, Batman.
EK: Yeah! Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble… fat man!

Recently, I must have told EK, “That’s the point.” The reason I know this is because she’s been saying it nonstop. When I tell J to do or not do something, she says, “Yeah, that’s the point!” When I tell her how something works or why we do something a certain way, she chimes in, “Yeah! That’s the point!” It began as cute. It is now VERY ANNOYING. And THAT, my darling daughter, is the POINT.

Getting ready for our road trip to Georgia…
Me: Yeah, you guys should nap in the car! Hopefully anyway.
A few minutes later…
EK to Hubby: Yeah! We gon’ nap in the car hopully!

On the way down to GA, we had made it SO far and the kids were all doing SO well, but there was a minute somewhere near Atlanta that they simultaneously (albeit briefly) lost it. J is squealing at the top of his lungs, I’m driving, and I blindly swiped my hand in J’s direction, knocking him in the leg. This is what I hear:
J: Not nice! NOT! NICE!
Hubby, pretending to be asleep: (giggles)
Touché, kid.

EK comes running from another room and attaches herself to my leg.
Nana: I tried to get her to sit with me, but she just wanted her mama.
EK, finally peeking around my leg: I just shyyyy.

Every time we see/go across train tracks…
EK: Mom! Tracks! The choo choo tracks!
J: Train! I saw da train! (Rarely, if ever, true.)

Heard from the back of the car…
EK: What the heck are you doing?!
I still don’t know who or what.

Also from the back of the car…
EK: Mom! My shirt is too widdle!
Me: Well maybe we can put on a different one later.
EK: I can’t get it!
Me: Stop trying to take it off in the car seat!

Last one from the back of the car…
J: Come on! Come on! COME ON!
Who knows.

Heard from the bathroom…
EK: My pee is green!
(Spoiler: It wasn’t.)

J, pointing at the front door: Necie in George?
Me: Aw. Yes buddy, Necie’s in Georgia.

At the grocery store…
J, pointing at the flowers: El’ Kate! El’ Kate!
Me: Do you want to get some flowers for your sister?
J: Uh-huh!
Me: That’s really sweet of you!
J: I hold?
Me: Yes, you can hold them. (Heart is melting.)

Well, that about sums up our week of giggles! What are those kiddos saying in your world?