Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! I won’t lie – on Sunday, I was a little worried that I had nothing (literally nothing) to put in this post. It was a very busy week of me not being with the kids as much as usual (between work and play, there was lots of childcare involved) so I was worried I hadn’t spent enough time hearing what they’d said to fill a post up. But alas, any time I worry about that, they always amaze me with the ridiculousness that comes out of their mouths. So here it is, this week’s humor! 

 I came into EK’s room and saw this: 
It’s basically a bunch of leaves/weeds/buds off a tree in our yard that she at some point brought inside. And then sorta ground into the carpet. It’s even a little funnier because of the toy vacuum sitting next to it like she’d tried to clean it up with that.

There’s a good close up so you know how tiny the pieces were. The only way she explained it to me was that she was having “a really fancy tea party”. Apparently that required natural decorations in the form of pollen. Obviously I made her clean it up. With the REAL vacuum.

Some friends came to pick me up to go to an out of town wedding, and EK shared with them this memory: One time, I came up the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed, and you saw me sand you said, “Hey!” Did you remember that?

J, any time I give him anything or put a piece of clothing/shoe on him: This is El’ Kate’s! (It must stem from her telling him all day long, “Hey! That’s mine!”) I have to reassure him that some things belong to just him.

The other night, EK and J spent the whole dinnertime shouting the word “tattoo” and giggling. I guess it sounded funny to them. (Addendum: they were very tired.)

Hubby has just this week been showing the kids Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and EK keeps singing the “Won’t you be my neighbor?” song. I hadn’t watched it, and thought somehow she had been seeing Mister Rogers. Then I cried because I missed him and cried because Daniel Tiger totally ripped him off.

These snowballs have been relabeled “core memories”. Word is still out on whether they are joyful, sad, etc. (This is funnier if you’ve seen Inside Out.)

J: I want some space! I want some space!
Me: What, buddy?
J: I want some space!
Me, realizing he’s pointing to a deck of cards: Oh! You want to play spades.
I guess we do play a lot of spades.

Overheard from the other room…

EK: He tried to chew on my dress!

J is obsessed with two things right now: spiders and “stupid bugs”. Every dark speck or piece of lint anywhere is automatically either a spider or a “stupid bug”. One morning, he kept talking about a fly (which was a new one) and I assumed he meant the fruit flies we always have this time of year with the windows open a lot. I told him to get it and smash it, which overjoyed him. I figured he wouldn’t be able to, and if he did, well, that’s one less fly and we’d wash his hands. He came back with a dead stink bug on the back of a book he’d smashed it with. I was equal parts impressed and grossed out. We had a little teachable moment on stink bugs, how they smell really bad and we don’t touch them. Now, he’s obsessed with “stupid stink bugs”. At least he learned their proper name?

J: I see a bug on the table!

EK: It’s okay, honey. There are no flies or bugs on the table. 

And just because I never post on this post about D, here’s a little funny. He is OBSESSED with the vacuum. He probably thinks it’s the coolest toy ever, because Mommy uses it every single day.

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