It’s Good Friday.

I wanted to start my day off today with a quiet time, with my heart in a certain place. I’ll have a marathon of two services this evening that will plunge me into the depths of the sacrifice that has been made for me. But I wanted to have a few moments on my own, with the Word, and with Jesus.

It didn’t work out that way.

I was summoned for applesauce about 15 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Once I roused myself, I heard two voices and not just one. I tried to lay there, ignore the babbling baby, take out my iPad and read a devotional in the bed, but the toddler next to me just couldn’t be still. Maybe while he eats, I thought. Maybe while he eats I can sneak away for a moment. After scrambling eggs, toasting English muffins, and cutting fruit, it seemed I might get a moment to sit on the couch on my own. But then up the stairs came the third hungry animal who had awoken. My duties were far from over.

While I was waging my war on a toddler who didn’t eat and a baby who wouldn’t go to sleep, I was distracted. My mind was on higher things. I was going through the normal morning motions, but my mind was spinning, thinking of two thousand years ago on this day. On that day, a different war was being waged. That day, Jesus was beaten, pierced, crucified. That day, the whole of Jerusalem was plunged into literal darkness, as the Son of man died on a cross that should’ve been for everyone else. How could I just be going through the motions of a normal life, when this day should have been reserved for quiet reflection or a grand showing of appreciation?

Because it is this sacrifice that allows me to freely live and love and go through those motions. This gift of forgiveness is what makes me who I am, and who I am is a busy mother of young children who need me to extend to them the grace I have received. The battle was fought for me against sin and darkness, and on the third day, the Light triumphed, death was beaten, and sin was crushed by the weight of God’s love.That is what I will focus my mind on. And it won’t be just on Good Friday.