Today on My Big Jesus, I’m republishing a post I wrote for Scary Mommy last year. It’s still pertinent, and I’m still digging it! Get on over there and check it out!
10 Things You Probably Learned in Your Twenties
Category Archives: faith
Top Posts of 2015
Well, 2015 was a landmark year for me as a writer. I was published on three sites other than my own, and even paid for my work! That’s something that I never thought would happen, and I’m so proud of myself, if I’m allowed a little pat on the back.
So, in honor of a successful year of writing, AND because tons of my blogger friends were doing this, here are my top five posts from 2015! Thanks for reading, commenting, sharing your lives, caring about mine, and contributing to my success!
Things I’ve Heard at 33 Weeks Pregnant – a hilarious account of all the things that strangers tell you when you’re very obviously pregnant.
10 Tips for Soon-to-Be Moms – a first installment of a series (the second is here!) of tips and tricks for moms, soon-to-be moms, and friends of moms.
Why I Decided to Stop Breastfeeding (and You Can, Too) – my breastfeeding journey with D
Accidental Announcement – that one time I told y’all I was pregnant, but I didn’t mean to.
An Open Letter to Friends Who Don’t Invite Me to Stuff Just Because I Have Kids – because I have feelings, and I still want to hang out!
What were your favorite posts of the year?
Currently
A new year, and a new Currently to give a little update! I’m linking up with Becky at Choose Happy, Jenna at Gold & Bloom, and Anne In Residence. In honor of starting 2016 off right, I’ve got a totally organized update for you!
Resolving || to pray. That’s it. I wrote about it, explaining in a little more detail, but basically, I just want to grow closer to the Lord and rely on Him more.
Reading || Still Harry Potter, and then I want to get into the next thing. Any suggestions? I’ve heard I need to get on the Fifth Wave train…
Organizing || my Christmas things as I put them away. I’ve always been a big fan of the 12 days of Christmas, so I haven’t started putting things up quite yet. Hopefully by the end of this week we will be all sorted out, though. This year, my goal is to actually rid the house of all things Christmas: books (we have a lot), pajamas, ornaments, the whole deal. Wish me luck!
Loving || that it’s finally cold outside! I love turtlenecks, scarves, and coats, and I’m finally wearing all three! Yay!
Craving || Coffee and Prosecco. Those two things are basically my life blood. The only thing I care about is that I drink several bottles of water between the one and the other. It’s a busy time, folks, and I need the boost on both ends!
Partying || for New Year’s! We hosted, since finding a babysitter that night is difficult. We had our besties over, plus a few more, and craziness ensued. What else would happen on NYE?
It ain’t pretty.
This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!
Sometimes, like the other night for me, things get really crazy. It’s one thing after another, and there’s no one to blame, not even yourself (because sometimes, if I’m honest, it’s my fault). But sometimes, there are so many factors and so many things involved, it’s just too crazy and we can’t get through it without finding a little humor.
On Saturday, Hubby and I had loose plans to go get (apparently amazing) burgers with some friends about 30 minutes from home. Once we started making further plans, our friends didn’t feel like going that far, but still wanted to hang. So we changed location and time, but kept the date. As my fam got ready to go, this kid didn’t want shoes, that one didn’t want a jacket, and the youngest screamed from the moment he got into his car seat. I was on edge from the crying, and from the sheer effort it takes to get all of us out the door…and because I had really wanted that burger with the obscene amount of bacon and the fried egg on top that everyone had been raving about. So when we finally got into the car, I sorta… exploded. I may or may not have told Hubby I wanted to run away by myself. I may or may not have meant it right then. But then I shut up, and we drove to dinner.
Halfway there, I realized I had forgotten to grab baby wipes. This, with three kids under four, is a big mistake. Hubby offered to stop at the grocery store and grab some, and I declined, mumbling about how napkins or wet paper towels would do, and how stupid I felt for the obvious fail at Mom 101.
When we got to dinner, it was time for D to eat his oatmeal, so he sat in Hubby’s lap while I fed him. We made precious little mess, and I went as far as to congratulate myself for not getting covered in it. How dare I?! Because the next thing I knew, he had puked. And puked some more. After the third one, I had changed his bib three times, his pants once, and used every napkin at the table. So then, obviously, there was one more spit up. Then he just got fussy. And fussier. And fussier. No amount of swaying or bouncing, toys or funny faces was making him happy, so Hubby and I deduced that he must’ve emptied his belly and gotten hungry. Because why else would he still be all mad? Well, two sips into his bottle, he passed out. Hard. Ooooh! Tired! That was it. Well, Mr. Man likes to sleep on his belly, so in my lap, he started to turn, until he was awkwardly belly down, splayed across my body. I managed to maneuver him to a slightly less awkward position, but it’s still a little disconcerting trying to eat a salad and a wrap with a twenty pound baby across your lap.
When he fell asleep, it was almost like that was my older kids’ cue to lose it completely. EK decided sitting was for losers and she would stand on one leg, with one butt cheek on her chair. J decided shoes were only for people who had their feet on the floor, and promptly threw his boots off the high chair he was in, and spend the rest of his evening fighting to get out of it. Both were fairly covered in their dinners (spaghetti with meat sauce and fries with ketchup, because obviously tomato is the only vegetable, and it exists only to be used in sauces). This was the point where I really regretted not letting Hubby stop for wipes. There was red everywhere, and several people at our table had been spit up on. And as I looked around at the laughing faces of our friends, a sweet Hubby who had hopefully not held my bad mood against me, a round of empty beers, and happy (or sleeping) babes, I made a decision. I could sit there brooding about how things hadn’t gone my way, or I could decide to have a nice evening, despite the crazy. All in all, the sequence of events was so bad it was funny. And I decided to laugh. I decided to wage my war on unpreparedness and loud kids later. I was surrounded by my favorite people, and I shouldn’t be sulking. I should be having fun. And y’all, I did. I enjoyed myself with spit up on my sleeve, a baby sprawled across my lap, and kids who ate ketchup for dinner. I chose to ignore the battle instead of fighting it, and no one is even worse for the wear.
One Word for 2016
Last year, I chose a word (okay fine, a phrase) to carry me through the year, instead of making goals I wouldn’t achieve and resolutions I would quickly abandon. I chose the words “Embrace it”, and I do feel like that became a bit of a mantra to just love where I was.
This year, I feel the Lord leading me towards the word “pray”. Obviously (or I think, anyway) I pray. I pray for my family, my job, myself, strangers, even. But I feel like this year, I’m being led do pray more… pray more often, pray continuously, pray over and about everything. Especially this: Pray first. Not just before making big decisions or facing trials. But pray first each day, pray first before letting the fear in, and pray first succumbing to anger. I will pray before speaking, whenever possible. I will pray for patience, guidance, and help.
Now those all seem like lofty things to say I will do. It sounds like it’s going to take a lot of effort… But really, what it will take it just doing it. And asking the Lord to help me. Praying that He will find me faithful in this endeavor, and help me to seek Him daily and nightly, and in everything. I am excited to see my life change as I go through the process of seeking Him and finding that He will surely meet me where I am.
Here’s to 2016, and not a resolution to change on my own, but a call for Him to change me instead.
Reflecting on 2015
The time has come, this late December, to look back at the year and revisit what happened, what we learned, what we accomplished, what we wish we had done. It’s a terrifying and wonderous thing, to realize that a year is almost over, and a new one is beginning. Some of us made big plans for our year, set goals and worked hard to achieve them. Others of us made loose plans and rolled with the punches. Still others may have been lost in the throes of 2014 when we began, unsure of what 2015 would bring, or the tone that would dominate the months of uncertainty.
As we reflect and gather our thoughts on 2015, here are 7 questions you may ask yourself to wrap up the past year. I’ll even answer them for myself, and reflect alongside you.
- What was the biggest event in your world this year? Something you can tell your children’s children about, years from now… This year, D was born. We began the year with trepidation regarding his health, and were happy to welcome a perfect little guy into the world in July, after a night of hard labor and a blessedly quick delivery.
- What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever? And why? We bought a new car, a GMC Acadia, just before D was born. We knew we needed a new car (three kids needed a bigger car than my Camry), and weren’t quite sure what we would get, or how much space we really needed. The Acadia was the perfect blend of space we needed day-to-day and space we would need on a road trip. We’ve been very happy with it!
- What was the funniest thing that happened this year? Is there anything that you still laugh at today? I wouldn’t always share a birth story for a big question like this, but there was a moment during my labor with D that the nurse broke my water… Hubby was taking a snooze (we’d been up all night, and I had just gotten my epidural) and I cried out when she broke my water, because it splashed all over the room. And I still die every time Hubby tells the story. He’s way funnier than I am.
- Who are the top 5 people you spent the most/best time with this year? If I have to pick exactly five, I’m going to choose our sweet family friends the Van Zandts. Hubby’s best friend from high school, his wife, and their three girls, who are roughly the same ages as my kiddos moved to town (into our neighborhood!) right at this time last year, and we have been blessed by their presence and closeness multiple times. They are good people to have close by and we love our time with them.
- What was one thing that you did really well this year? I think that I grew as a worship leader this year. I got to know my people better, grew in confidence behind the keys/mic, and fell in love with doing my job even a little bit more. I have some incredible co-leaders and role models to base my craft upon.
- How did you grow spiritually, emotionally, and/or physically? I’ll try to answer all three: Spiritually, I bridged the gap between having no time for a personal spiritual life and making time for myself as often as possible (Goal: daily. Reality: weekly.) Emotionally, I struggled with some hormonal changes after D was born, and again at his 4 month sleep regression (apparently, being tired makes me short-tempered and straight up angry sometimes). I battled to keep my cool some days. Physically, the last half of the year was comprised of losing my pregnancy weight, and finding a healthy exercise routine…and then losing the routine again for the holidays! Ha!
- If you had one word to describe your 2015, what would it be, and why? At the beginning of the year, I chose a word (phrase, actually) to carry me through the year. I had chosen “Embrace it!” to be what I wanted my year to be about. I feel like I did a pretty good job with that most of the time, however much things changed or were crazy. I don’t know if I think that was the most important word, or the word I thought about most often, but it definitely was up there. Thankful is another word I think of that goes with my year. Amid the craziness of expanding our family, I always tried to remain in a posture of thankfulness.
Let’s hear some of your answers to these questions!
Some Assembly Required
This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!
I had a lovely experience with Christmas this year. My two oldest kids are old enough to really appreciate more complicated toys and notice when things are a little different. I spent a few hours setting up for Christmas morning, and making sure everything looked “just so”. I even made my brother help me with the Lego village.
So naturally, on the eve of my son’s birthday, only 3 days after Christmas, I abhorred the fact that I was already wrapping more boxes and assembling a birthday celebration. This feeling was even more pronounced since I had bought a special surprise for him months ago, that I imagined being the favorite birthday gift.
A friend of mine had bought a teepee for her son, on sale and very nice. Online, it looked similar to a pop-up tent thing my daughter has (in the shape of a princess castle of course) that J loves, so I thought it would be the perfect compliment to that. The box arrived amid several other Christmas gifts, so I put the entire box away to open later when I prepared for his birthday.
Tonight, when my kids got in bed, I began to look at the Christmas crazy left from the last few days of slowly dwindling house guests and overflowing bins and boxes of stuff. I’m supposed to host a birthday party tomorrow?! I don’t care how small it’s supposed to be, that’s a little bit of pressure. So naturally I run the vacuum half-heartedly and pick up miscellaneous items from new toy sets and one thousand little scraps of wrapping paper I had so carefully folded and sparingly taped. And then… I remember the teepee.
I retrieved the box from the garage, and got to work. I’ve got a few choice pictures of my progress…
When I took it out of the box, I was surprised to find wooden poles. What happened to that pop-up tent I ordered? Along with the poles there was treated canvas. Was this thing an actual tent?! Is he, at some point in the future, going to ask me to camp in this thing?!
So, I got to work, in the middle of the living room floor, glass of wine close by for moral support. The directions seemed simple: Twist poles together. Put poles into inserts in canvas. Tie poles and grommets in canvas together. Enjoy your tent. Easy!
Forty-five long minutes later, I call my mom upstairs to help me tie knots, and we stand back and look at our newest abode within an abode. I could probably curl up and sleep in this thing. J is gonna LOVE it. I had envisioned it in his room. I’ll probably still let him keep it there, but it’s gonna be tight.
Moral of the story? J will love it. And I would do anything for my son, especially on his birthday, that I think he will love. Even after a week of crazy has just happened, I will open my home to even more crazy, because he deserves to be celebrated. I love him for who he is, but also (mostly) because he is my sweet, beloved son. Will he remember his second birthday? Nope. Will his adult self remember an awesome, surprisingly durable, traffic cone-like teepee? Maybe not. But will he remember the love his mama put into everything that had to do with him? I sure hope so.
If I can love my silly, sweet middle child so much, after only two years, that it brings tears to my eyes, how much more can my Father, creator of the cosmos and author of my destiny, love me? I may be sweet, I am definitely silly, and I often feel lost in the shuffle, but I always know that I have the deep, secure love of a Father who would do anything to make me whole.
Christmas Eve, Y’all.
Time stamp: 1:49am, December 25
Santa’s presents are out. The rest of the presents are wrapped. The tree is lit, as it will be all night. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, and sugar plums are just out of my field of vision.
Hubby and I spent seven hours today at church, preparing for and carrying out three Christmas Eve services at our sweet church. I loved it- every moment. It was awesome to be on stage with the “all-star team” (Hey guys!) and see people from every service mingled in together. I’m a fan of church on Christmas Eve to get you in the right mindset before Santa and his BS take over. My kids are basically to young to get that gifts are because we love each other, so unfortunately (fortunately?) we haven’t bothered to worry about missing out on most of Christmas Eve, stretching bedtimes and naptimes to accommodate our crazy musical schedules and particular family dynamics.
But in the midst of tantrum big toddlers, five-month-olds who won’t sleep, and burgeoning excitement over cookies, presents and pajamas all day, I’m pushing through my tiredness for fun. I’m going to ignore the clock, snuggle with the Hubs and just come to terms with the fact that I will be s little strung out tomorrow.
Because it’s Christmas. And I love y’all.
Have an amazing day tomorrow. Merry Christmas.
Things a Mom Can Do When She Sleeps All Night
This also appears on My Big Jesus! 
It’s no surprise that moms frequently don’t get enough sleep. If they aren’t woken by babies or kids or pets, they’re up worrying about why they haven’t been woken. But on the odd day that a mother wakes, all on her own, having rested fully the night before, she transforms into an amazing creature… a superhero of sorts. She can take on the world in a whole new way, and she’ll only need two cups of coffee to do it! Here are some things a well-rested mother might do if she sleeps the entire night:
1. She will wake up with her first alarm. She won’t even hit snooze. She’ll just stretch her arms wide, take a deep breath, and start her day with a smile.
2. She will cook herself a hot breakfast, and not share it with anyone. Frying eggs, brewing coffee, and toasting bread, all before her children wake up.
3. She will make pancakes, and not even be annoyed about it. Special breakfast will be no big deal, and the children will give her a cheer!
4. She will pack the children up for an outing before lunchtime. She is excited enough to hit the park AND the grocery store – in one fell swoop!
5. She will actually eat lunch! And I don’t just mean whatever her kids leave on their plates. She will fix herself a sandwich, alongside the children’s healthy meals she will patiently coax them to eat.
6. She won’t turn on the TV. She doesn’t need background noise or distraction for the children. She is so energetic! She will become tickle monster or professional storyteller before the TV comes on.
7. She will plan a healthy and delicious dinner for her family. Since she went to the grocery store, the kitchen is her oyster as she minces garlic, chops peppers, sears steak and bakes cookies.
8. She will tackle bath time, pajama wielding, tooth brushing and story reading all in time for an early bedtime. She is fearless as she enters the witching hour fray.
Why, oh why, can’t this well-rested woman be you? Because she’s mythical, of course – an idealized version of you when you get even six hours of sleep in a row. In other words, she is a very figment of our imaginations. Everyone knows that mothers don’t sleep!
5 Reasons Parenting My Threenager Is Exhausting
This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!
My threenager is amazing. She’s smart, compassionate, curious, kind, and surprisingly intuitive. She’s also stubborn, opinionated, extremely bold, and ridiculously energetic. Honestly, I think those are all good qualities to have, especially as a female. (And the strong women of the world applauded.) But sometimes, as her mother and the person who spends the most time with her, I get exhausted by her inexhaustible nature. Here are a few reasons why.
She Has So Many Questions. Asking questions is good. It’s how we learn and grow. However, when I’ve been asked 57 questions before I’ve uttered one word and I’m still in the bed, it wears on me. My threenager also has this knack for not hearing the answer to a question she asking, and therefore asks it again, and again, and again. This is a special kind of hell for a mom.
She Hates Bedtime. She doesn’t necessarily hate the process, or even the idea of laying in bed and snuggling her blanket and animals. What she hates is the going to sleep part. She thinks she’s missing something – even if what she’s missing is my brushing my teeth and heading to bed. She often gets up multiple times, wanders the house, and has endless energy she didn’t have when I asked her to put away her toys.
She Is a Fast Talker. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it. It doesn’t matter what Mom says… she will find a way to get what she wants. She’s already figured out that if she can get to Daddy quick enough, he might not know to say no. She will climb, run, and beg to get whatever it is she wants. When she’s a young adult, I’m going to be proud of these very qualities, but right now, it can be frustrating.
She Is Dramatic. The girl could win an Oscar. Reason #1 (of a thousand) we don’t watch Calliou is she already knows how to whine. She does it even when she doesn’t need to, and frequently incorporates a classic eye roll/angsty sigh combo. The speed at which a situation escalates is record-breaking, and usually has to do with her little brother.
And finally…
She Knows Everything. That’s why we call them threenagers, right? They think they know what they need AND what everyone else needs. I’m just praying we have a break from it before she hits middle school.
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