Category Archives: siblings

Things Toddlers Say


Talking with one of our tile workers…
Worker: I’m Kelly! What’s your name?
EK: Ella Kate. I’m three. At my next birthday I’ll be one different, though.

We’ve been rewatching the Harry Potter movies (they just came out of storage!) and the kids have been there for part of it. When the Weasleys and Harry travel using floo powder, every time the green fire happened, J would say, “Oh no!” with his eyes glued to the screen. Pretty cute.

After her nap…
EK: My hair looks crazy! I gotta go take a shower!

EK woke up in the middle of the night (She told me she had to poop. No such poop happened.) and Hubby was still at work. This was the conversation about it the next morning…
EK: Did you have a good nap?
Me: You mean after I went back to bed? I sure did.
EK: Did you snuggle daddy when he got home?
Me: I did.
EK: Aww! That was very sweet of you!

Hubby and I, discussing where to park at church…
Me: Just park in the circle.
EK: Circle? I love circles!

J, Facetiming my mom on her birthday…
EK: Joseph, can I have the phone?
J: No.
EK: Mooooom! Joseph said noooooo! (Whining big time)
Me: I heard, babe. He’ll be done in a minute.
J hands EK the phone.
EK: Necie! Joseph said noooooo! (Still whining)
This basically just shows how accustomed she is to J doing what she wants. Sweet boy just does what she says about 90% of the time, and he’s just this week started saying “no”.  She is in for it.

Things EK calls a seat belt:
Top buckle
Seat buckle
Big buckle
Belt buckle
Safe buckle
I’m thinking all are appropriate names for it.

What is your toddler saying? Leave it in the comments!

Currently: One Month Left!

Happy Monday, y’all! As usual, I’m linking up with Becky at Choose Happy for another Currently! We love to know what’s going on with you, so link up and join us!

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The biggest thing going on in my life right now is obviously the preparation for baby D. As of today, I’m one month out from my due date! My abs are sore just from living, my feet are swelling a bit, and I’m less and less able to breathe normally. I’m praying for him to drop soon so that he’s off my lungs a bit! Anyway, here’s a regular old Currently for you!

Feeling || Excited, nervous, huge and uncomfortable. It’s a lot of feelings. I’m also feeling a little sentimental for my big babes… I know that as soon as Baby D gets here, they’re going to seem HUGE to me, and so grown up! I’m treasuring the time with them as much as I can.

Eating || Mexican food and ice cream! Last night, we had family night at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and then we went out for ice cream! The kids had a fun time eating outside and enjoying their ice cream. My kiddos love some sweets!

I’m so glad we got that silly hat from Tweetsie. He loves it.
This gal’s chocolate ice cream face is unstoppable.

A cute little story: at the ice cream shop, the cashier asked if the kids were twins. We don’t get that too often, but that wasn’t the first time. They’re just close enough in size now that I guess people see them and think they might be. Their hair is the same color, their features definitely favor, but EK is taller and lankier, and J still hangs on to most of his baby fat. They just look so different to me, and obviously I know how much farther along developmentally EK is. It’s hard for me to think they’d be twins, but hey, I just know them too well!

Going ||  to the movies! This morning, we went with some friends to see Inside Out. It was the kids’ first movie in the theatre, and EK passed the test with flying colors. J ate some popcorn, ran around a bit, and Hubby took him to Home Depot for the last hour. Soooo the movies will be a special treat for just EK for a while longer. But the movie was awesome! I definitely recommend seeing it!inside out

 

Shopping || for a new (to us) car! This sounds fun and exciting, but really, the pressure is on. We’ve been researching to find a non-minivan place for three car seats (aka a third row), preferably some captain’s seats, not terrible gas mileage, and no prior problems. Sounds pretty much impossible, right? It kind of is. It feels like it’s consuming me right now and honestly I’ll just be glad when we’ve found something and bought it. Sheesh! If you’re driving something you love that fits the bill, feel free to tell me about it!

Well, that’s what’s going on in my life! A little glimpse into the summertime, pre-third-baby rush! What’s going on with you?

My Son’s First Haircut: A Total Toddler Travesty

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

These things happen, they say.

You’ll look back and laugh about it, they say.

Well, I cried about it.

We had just come back from a quick overnight trip to the mountains. We had mostly unpacked, the kids were playing with their toys we’d left behind (because 24 hours away makes them seem new!) and Hubby and I both had some work to get done. While he started getting ready for his gig, I retreated to my computer to do some work for my service on Sunday. I was probably out of the room (the living room… where everyone else was) for about seven or eight minutes total, when I came back through the house.

EK saw me coming and happily shouted, “Mom! I’m cutting Jophiss’ hair!”

I wasn’t alarmed yet. She often took a plastic toy knife and sawed away at her own or her brother’s hair, jabbering on about haircuts. But I quickly saw that this time, there was no pretend sawing happening. My pink-handled scissors from the kitchen drawer were being used to strew my son’s perfectly virgin curls all over the floor. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized what couldn’t be taken back: he had just received his first haircut. No little ceremony, no taking pictures, no sweet, little-boy ‘do resulted from this experience. Just a jagged chunk taken from over his left eye. And now? Nothing left to do but just take that line all the way across his forehead.

So sitting in the floor, tears blurring my eyes (safety first!) I took the blasted scissors, and finished the job. Of course, he figured he didn’t need to sit still for me, so it took a couple of tries to get a semi-straight line of “bangs” across his big noggin. (I want you to know I’m still crying a little as I write this.)

 A couple of days later, we’d started to get used to his new look. At least we didn’t have to swoop the bangs over to get them out of his eyes, right? Anyway, one evening J took a big spill and bonked his forehead on a door, right between his eyes. After I got him calmed down, gave him some Tylenol to ease the blow, got him snuggled in my lap and his whimpering stopped, I only had one thing to say. I looked up at my worried mother-in-law, who had helped me get him calmed down, and said, “Well, if EK hadn’t cut his hair, we wouldn’t even be able to see his giant bruise!”

 Because making light of a stressful situation (even by making fun of a previous stressful situation) can dispel that tension and get a giggle out of even the most concerned grandparent.

Moments of “Just Us”

Sometimes, there are beautiful, unplanned moments of bonding with your little ones. Moments like these can’t be fabricated or sought out. You just get to be blissfully surprised when they happen.

  
The other night, the kids got their dinner and bath early, and so there was quite a bit of play time before it was time to go to bed. In J’s new room downstairs, we have a queen size bed waiting for him to move into it. (Okay fine, there’s nowhere else to put it for the next few months before he’s ready for it.) Anyway, EK, J and I were piled on the bed. They had some toys they were playing with, and I was half playing on my phone, and half falling asleep. These days (33 weeks, for crying out loud!), it’s difficult to not want to nod off at every opportunity. After a little while, EK ran off to go find Daddy and I was left with J nestled in that space between my belly and knees, happily playing with his toys.

After my eyes had been closed for a minute or two, J crawled up next to my face, and started jabbering away about something. He does this fairly often, delivering a monologue that only he can fully understand, but that we all stop and listen to. I opened my eyes and looked at him, and he just stared into my eyes and talked to me. How I wish I knew what he was saying! Telling me secrets of dreams and desires, or just telling me he’d rather I fix his dinner some other way, I don’t know, but I loved just listening to his scruffy voice, lilting as though with perfect English.

I rolled over onto my back, and he crawled on my belly, still jabbering on. When he paused, I leaned forward a little bit, giving him what (I didn’t realize then) must’ve been his first Eskimo kiss – you know, where you rub your noses together? His giggles filled the room, vigorously shaking his head back and forth against mine, trying unsuccessfully to recreate the nose rubs. Every time I drew our faces together and “Eskimo kissed” him, he dissolved into giggles, rolling back and forth across my swollen belly.

Now, bringing the attention to my belly, the very tangible reminder of the time soon to come, I thought about how in a few weeks, my attention will be split even further, as I nurture and nourish our third child. These uninterrupted moments with my oldest two will be harder to come by than they already are. But for right now, I’m going to rest in the moments that are just us. Even if I’m tired (falling asleep, even) or uncomfortable or just want to be by myself. I’m going to come when they call me, and say yes more often. I’m going to treat myself and them to more special moments of “just us”.

When am I not a “new mom” anymore?

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I spend a lot of time reading advice for new moms, or reading things for new parents. Still, even expecting baby #3, I’m doing this. It must be because I know that I haven’t done everything perfectly. It must be because I’m still new at having a three-year-old. It must be because I’m fairly new to having two kids. I’ll be new to having a third kid (in two months). There’s always something we’re going to be new at. Can you really be a seasoned mom at everything? 

 Whether you’re a new mom because you just delivered your first, or you’re a long-time mom who has a few adult children, there’s always something to remind you you haven’t done everything yet. Taking your first vacation as a family of four can be as brand new (and difficult) as the day you brought your first home from the hospital. Moving your toddler to a big boy bed can be like having a newborn again who won’t sleep through the night. First middle school dance, first high school prom, and first college formal sound similar, but require different tools (and feelings) in your mama arsenal. Even doing the same thing with each of your children can be like night and day. Sending a child to college is different with every child, since they’re all going off to different schools in different locations in different situations. Marrying off a daughter feels different than marrying off a son, so if you’ve done one, you might be new at the other. Sending off or marrying off your oldest is a totally different experience, I’m sure, than doing so with your youngest.

This year, my big thing I was new at was being a stay at home mom. I’ve been learning every day (every.single.day.) how to walk in this role effectively, gracefully, and comfortably. This is a big one for me. I identified a lot as a working mom for my first two years of motherhood. I had friends who did it that I could get advice from and vent to about things. I had the best of all possible situations, because my daughter (and then my son) stayed home with Daddy. There were still frustrations, sad things, and hard things about not being home with them. And, there were also great things about it.

Sorry I’m not sorry I just wrote that.

There were things like missing the tantrums, not being super stressed about missed naps, not seeing them get their shots at the doctor, or being able to kiss the sick kid on the head, and go to work, instead of dread a fussy day of remembering to give doses of Tylenol on time. I loved having a purpose outside of the home. I still do. I work part-time now (roughly 5-8 hours a week outside the home and several more inside) and I love having that outlet, that reason to leave the house, and the fact that I have the best of both worlds: a job that I love, and the opportunity to spend tons of time with my kids.

But the newness of being a SAHM hasn’t worn off. My kids are always entering new phases in their development, and I’m always catching up and learning the newest thing they do. My daughter is potty-training. One can NEVER be an expert at potty-training. That mess is REAL, y’all (emphasis on mess). My son has learned to climb up and down and all over everything, even in ways my daughter still doesn’t care to do. It’s taken baby-proofing and knowing where he is at all times to a whole other level (think never being alone because I have to be watching him). I’m still new at it. I’ll probably feel, for a little while, new at having a newborn, because breastfeeding, sleep cycles, teething, and growth patterns are different with every baby, and I’m sure the third baby won’t have as much of my undivided attention as even my second one did. It’s just the nature of the beast – no pun intended.

When you feel like you’re new at something, it’s okay. You’ll figure it out. It’s in your nature to find the best way somehow. We’re built for it. You have some motherly instincts, down in there somewhere – sometimes I really felt like I was digging to find mine. But I love my kids. And that makes me a good mom, no matter what stage of mothering I’m in.

I’ll Miss Just Having Two.

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus

I AM SO EXCITED about this third child we’re going to welcome into our family. We prayed for him (a lot… that story is here.) and have been waiting and waiting for him to arrive. We knew we wanted him from the get-go. We’ve always said we wanted three or four kids, so we knew he was in our plan. We were not (all that) surprised when I found out I was pregnant, and we have not been a bit disappointed since finding out. Now. That being said…

I’m going to miss just having two kiddos.


Today, the three of us were on a walk. We were, as always, in my double jogger (Love it. Gotta have it. Couldn’t have lived my life this far without it.) just cruising the neighborhood with snacks and water bottles, talking about the color of the car that just drove by, the kinds of foliage we passed, and enjoying the not-too-hot-yet sunshine. I had a thought as we rounded the corner towards home: Our days doing this are numbered. Not necessarily because we won’t be able to stroll around the neighborhood any more. But because I’ll either be carrying one on my back/front, or letting EK walk beside the stroller (ie: freaking out that she’ll be running into the street at any moment) or having someone else to come with us to push another single stroller or push mine while I wear the baby. Hubby goes on walks with us fairly often, but usually it’s special time for the three of us. Soon, for a little while at least, our walks will be cut short because baby D will need to nurse, or he’ll have a blowout, or I will just plain be too tired for an hour-long walk like today’s.

I know – this seems like a first world problem, along with things like “Do I need to buy a different car to fit all those child seats?” and “It’s going to be tough getting out the door with three jackets and sets of shoes to put on.” I know that these phases are short. The time with these kids being so young and needy will fly, and I may even look back and wish it was still here.

But my walk this afternoon with my two amazing, curious, adorable sweeties shed some light on my feelings and changed how I’ll look at these last 12 weeks before my due date. I won’t try to rush through them. I won’t spend all my time preparing for the next baby – like I would have been able to anyway, right? I’ll be thankful for the time that I can lavish on my eldest two. I’ll cherish the one-on-one time I have with J while EK is at preschool. I’ll enjoy the long walks with just the two of them. I’ll love the girls’ lunch dates I like to have with just EK, or sometimes a girlfriend or two. I’ll love playing on the floor, amidst the giggles and tickles, right before bedtime. I’ll do everything I can with my two before I’ll be splitting my attention with another little sweetie who needs me.

Emotional, Evolving, Steadfast Motherhood

Mothers.

If you could have told me about the feels you have when you join their ranks, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I’ve cried at silly things my whole life – and of course that hasn’t changed. Books, movies, heartfelt cards and sappy songs all make me cry a little and always have. But moments… they’re what make me tear up nowadays. Little moments, like when my daughter reaches out to hold my hand while we watch a show before bed. Or last night, when Hubby kissed me goodbye as he was leaving for work, my son turned in my lap to give me a smooch on the lips as well. I couldn’t have made that moment up. I cried right there on the spot.

These moments of motherhood are precious and fleeting. They feel numerous and few all at the same time. They can sometimes be trumped by moments of frustration or hurry or tiredness. They can be a little tiny thing that happens every day, and we don’t realize just how magical it is until it stops. Those moments of a milk-drunk newborn as you lay his limp body in the bassinet. The early giggles of an infant whose chubby cheeks jiggle with every laugh. The first few times your child forms the words “I love you.”

In my three short years of motherhood, I am amazed by what I am constantly learning, and doing, and already missing. I am beside myself with excitement over having a new baby in the house again in three months, but I still have a little sadness mingled with my pride when I think about how big my first two “babies” are now. I am thrilled by my children’s personalities and abilities. I am bursting with happiness when I’m simply watching them be themselves.

I am blessed by these kids. I am blessed by the opportunity to be their mom. I am terrified by the responsibility to raise them to be kind and compassionate, not to mention functioning members of society. I am scared to death for them to grow up and not need me anymore. My identity is wrapped up in them without being solely theirs. I am a mother. I’ve been a mother of babies. I am the mother of toddlers. I will be the mother of three. I will be the mother of teenagers, of college students, of adults. I will be a grandmother. Our situation is constantly changing, yet always steady. I am their mother. The mother of my children. The mother of my amazing, beautiful, silly, growing, changing, sometimes frustrating and always loved children.

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Elena Kathleen, at one day old.The little gal who made me a mama.
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Joseph Stevens, at one day old, meeting his big sister.

 

My Journey as a Mother: Family Planning (or Lack Thereof)

I’ve been inspired the past couple of weeks to write about our family planning. Or lack thereof. There have been several articles I’ve read on the subject, about opinions on child spacing, and in the light of #mommitment I wanted to share my story (lest y’all think I’m crazy for having my three under three and a half).  

You see, when Hubby and I decided we were ready to start having children, we did what any couple’s first step is: I stopped taking the pill. This was January of 2011. We’d been married for a little over a year and a half, and we knew we wouldn’t immediately get pregnant, but we thought we’d see what happened.

What happened was a few months of “not not trying”, where we didn’t really plan out days or anything, but we knew we’d “pulled the goalie”. Then, after the few months of that, we started actually trying, planning days to try to conceive, and keeping track of every single thing – did you know there were APPS FOR THAT?! After a few months of that process and no baby, I’d spent way too much on pregnancy tests and not enough on newborn-sized onesies, so I tried a new approach. I started taking my basal resting temperature. That meant that right as I woke up, I would take my temperature before getting out of bed, record it, and wait for it to one day spike – ever so slightly-  which meant I’d be ovulating. Well, that day came, and so obviously we tried to conceive. Then the next morning, and the nine or ten after that, my temperature never went back down. I basically thought the system was busted. I can’t be ovulating every day. Well, I wasn’t. Because I was pregnant.

When EK was born 10 months later, I was nursing, and while I know that nursing isn’t birth control, I didn’t go back on any sort of birth control when she was born. Hubby and I figured the Lord had a plan, and we were good with whatever it was. My cycle didn’t come back until four months post-partum, and I breastfed until six months. We weren’t trying to get pregnant, but we obviously weren’t preventing it, either.

In March of the next year, when EK was 11 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. We were thrilled, and couldn’t wait to start telling our families, but before we even got to that point, I was cramping and bleeding, and ended up miscarrying at 7 weeks. I was told that I would start my cycle back in 4-12  weeks (Really? What sort of help is that?!) and not to try to get pregnant again until then. I guess they were basically telling me not to rush back into it, and let my body get back to normal. Well, I was obviously emotionally wrecked and not really in a hurry, at least until my body did what it needed to do. A couple of months later, I was out with some girlfriends, who asked me about it. I started counting the weeks, and realized I was at 13. They hadn’t said it would be any longer than 12 weeks (although, how accurate is it, truly?) so just for good measure, I went home and took a test. Positive! Boom.

This time, I had no inkling how far along I was… I’d had to period to reference my ovulation and conception. It wasn’t until my ultrasound at TEN AND A HALF WEEKS that I’d have the baby before the year was out. How’s that for a crazy few months, and an enormous blessing at the end of them?!

After J was born at the end of that year (2013), I nursed him for eight wonderful months, and when he weaned himself, my cycle started back. I had exactly two periods, and found out I was pregnant again. And here I am! 27 weeks with my third little miracle.

Now, did I plan it out this way? No. Did I try to plan differently? No. Am I aware how blessed I am to be fertile and healthy and blessed with three children in four years? Absolutely. I know everyone is not this way – and especially on timing, wouldn’t necessarily want to be this way. Are we often a bit of a madhouse around here? Yes. Do I expect it to get much better? Not for a while. But do I love my little tinies, how close they are together, and how happy they make me? 100%.

I do get some comments and looks at the grocery store when people see me with my littles, and obviously another on the way. “You sure had them close together!” and “You know what causes that, right?” are things I hear a lot. Yes, they are obviously close together, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I CLEARLY know what causes that. I’m a grown woman, amIright? So while I didn’t try to ensure my kids would be mistaken for Irish twins, or likely straight up triplets when they hit high school or so, I wasn’t against having them all in diapers at the same time, or all in college at the same time. I’ll survive. And they will thrive.

We Work Better Together.

I don’t have a label for how my family works. Hubby and I both work part-time, flexible hours, and are both home a lot with our kids. We have a lot of family time – more than most families are able to pull off with work schedules, school schedules, etc. Since we’ve only got one in preschool twice a week, and the other is home all day, we have a lot of time that the four of us are hanging out together. Hubby and I truly are great at being each other’s advocate, staying away from the good cop/bad cop game, and not becoming the “default” parent.

We work better together.

Sometimes, our schedules lend themselves to passing the kids back and forth, and hardly seeing each other. Those are the rare, busiest days or weeks. I can see the kids (and myself) suffer. I’m not as great a cook as he is (my daughter says, “You’re a good cooker-man, Daddy!”), so when they’re with me, they get a great breakfast, okay lunch, and whatever I can find (or, let’s be honest, pick up) for dinner. When they’re with Hubby, or when we’re all together, we have well thought out, home-cooked, delicious meals. I like to be out of the house a lot, so when I’m there, we go to parks, play dates, running errands, and little trips to do other things. Hubby is a little more of a homebody, so they don’t really go anywhere if I’m gone.

The kids also get more one-on-one time with us, because sometimes if I go out, I just take one of the kids. It’s a little easier logistically (a little less buckle-unbuckle-buckle-unbuckle, am I right?) and I get special time that they aren’t pulling each other’s hair, or trying to play with the same toy. They get our undivided attention, feel our love for them as they are, not them as a group. And we are lucky to be able to love them so singularly so often.

So although my family isn’t in an easily-labeled umbrella of parenting style, I think we have our best possible situation going on. Our kids get equal parts mom and dad. As mom and dad, we get equal parts  of our kids. We share responsibilities at home, like laundry, cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping. We share time off, time alone, and time at work. We share preschool drop-off, doctor’s appointments, bedtime routines, and afternoon naps when we aren’t feeling so hot (addendum: if we’re pregnant).

Am I suggesting that you all go quit your jobs, pick up part-time ones, and try to do what we’re doing? Absolutely not. I know for some people, they’d go crazy in the different-every-day schedule, and the whaddya-mean-dad-does-the-cooking? situation. But I am saying that teamwork makes it better for us. Working together is what we like to do, it’s what’s best for our kids, and what’s best for us as parents and as a married couple. We can both put our best foot forward, take a break when we’re burned out, and never worry about whether we can remember when naps are and whether or not we cleaned all the sippy cups. Being equally yoked and collaborative partners in our lifestyle brings out the best in us, and in our kids. Is there anything better than that?

I am exhausted.

This post appeared on the My Big Jesus blog We spent today bopping around town, carrying kids to and fro, shopping for this and getting ready for that. Our house is a madhouse, like it often is these days. I don’t mind – really, I don’t. I know that it’s a season, and that things will return to a semi-normal. I know that my kids will be these ages but once. I know that my niece and nephew (who I also got to see this evening!) will be these ages but once.

Yet, my lovely and insightful mother-in-law said something to me, in passing really, tonight that made me think. She had spent the morning with my son, and part of the afternoon with my daughter. She said, “I don’t know how y’all do it with these two. I guess I did it with mine, but I’m exhausted!” Going on, she explained that she meant chasing them around her house, entertaining them, and making sure nothing got broken.

Well let me tell you, I understood her completely. While my house is basically baby-proofed and I can let them run free a little more in our home than she can in hers (split-level=stairs upon stairs) I am still frequently exhausted at the end of the day. Even if I haven’t completed a single housekeeping task, or didn’t get in a work out, or haven’t left the house, or if I did catch a little snooze during someone’s naptime, I’m often exhausted.

It isn’t simply that my back hurts, or that I’m sleep deprived, although sometimes those things are true. (Have you lugged around a 30lb sack of flour recently?) It’s emotional exhaustion. It’s mental exhaustion. I’m not a creative person, so EK really makes me work my imagination (ie: silly voices, strange scenarios, and telling her “stories” that I made up). I’m constantly trying to think of ways to educate – nay, entertain – two developmental levels, two totally different personalities. I’m trying to explain to my daughter why she should share, can’t push her brother, and shouldn’t scream in the house. I’m trying to distract my son when he just wants to be held – for the entire 12 hours he is awake. I’m trying to make healthy breakfasts and dinners that also look enticing and taste delicious. I’m trying to not lose patience with messes and attitudes and too-short naps and refused meals. It’s a lot. It’s trying, giving, sacrificing, and pushing myself.

So yes, in a word, I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted when I think of how much love I’ve got in my heart for these little beings that need me so. I’m exhausted when I think that by the end of this summer, I’ll have a third little being that needs me like these two do. I’m exhausted when I think that in 18 years, they’ll need me so much less. I’m exhausted to think they won’t always snuggle into my neck or say “mmmmmm-ah!” when I ask for a kiss. But being exhausted in the midst of right now is a fulfilled, happy exhaustion. When I slip into my bed, and don’t have time to finish one sentence in my book, I’m not really upset about it. I’m just wishing I had more patience, more creativity, more knowledge to share with those exciting, excitable toddlers that I call my own.