Category Archives: random thoughts

random and staccato (disconnected)

home, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, travel

I finally know my way around.

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During the month of November, I’m participating in NaBloPoMo, where I try to write and publish each day. Often, I’ll be writing to a prompt – like today. 

My husband is great at finding his way around. We can be in a neighborhood he’s never been in, winding through stop signs, turns, and houses that all look the same, and he can find his way out without any problem. He’s got a great sense of direction, and often looks at the car’s compass (in his car, it’s just a lit-up letter on the rearview mirror) to decide whether to go left or right. Me? Not so much.

It took me several years of living in my town to start knowing my way around. When I moved here, for college, there weren’t phones with GPS, and so I had to rely on friends’ directions just to get to the nearest grocery store, the movie theatre, or a restaurant. I was using the highway to get around town almost exclusively for years, not knowing other ways, whether they were shorter or easier, or not.

But somewhere amid moving into the house we live in now, and attending work trainings at different schools in the area (back in my teaching days) I finally got to know some new neighborhoods, lots of good shortcuts, and the best way to use our main thoroughfares. I can cut through my neighborhood on any single street and get to where I’m going – and that is quite an accomplishment for me!

You see, this city felt like home even before I knew how to navigate it. I loved my college campus. I had, and still have, great friends, including many who grew up here, and some who, like me, came here for school and decided to stay. It’s a warm and welcoming town, lots of opportunities to meet new people, join local organizations, or find cool events that are happening all the time. It’s not too big, in case you get overwhelmed in huge cities full of skyscrapers. But it’s not too small, either, for those of us that think that tiny towns have a little too much familiarity. It’s a good size, particularly when you need to run an errand on one side of town, and one on the other… you can do it within a reasonable amount of time.

Finally learning my way around – well – seemed like the final piece of the puzzle toward becoming a “local”. Now that I’ve been here for 13 years, I definitely consider myself an expert navigator, directions-giver, or even shortcut creator. And when I go back to the town I grew up in, a smaller town with less big highways, I feel like the newcomer. I’ve forgotten the shortest distance between two points, or I can’t remember street names that I have aways known. It seems I’ve only got memory space enough for one town’s road map.

faith, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

Worthwhile Relationships

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During the month of November, I’ll be participating in National Blog Post Month, where I’ll publish a post every single day. Sometimes, like today, I’ll use prompts. This one I wrote in about five minutes.

Today’s prompt: What are the most meaningful relationships in your life?

As a woman, I’m very relational. I have a LOT of relationships that I’m in, weaving in and out of closeness, but always talking, calling, texting, getting together with someone. I love feeling close to people, laughing, crying, sharing stories or hard things, just loving on and being with people. (Can you say extrovert?)

If you truly ask me to choose a most meaningful relationship, or the top 5, perhaps… I don’t think I could honestly do it. My no-brainer answer seems to be my husband. He’s the one that I know I’m stuck with (HAPPILY!) for the rest of my life, and come what may, he’ll be my person until we cross over into heaven – for which I am so grateful. He is amazing; he’s good to me, knows me well and loves me anyway. What more can I ask for?

But when thinking of other relationships that I’d put up there with my marriage, it starts to blur. I have three kids. I can’t very well prioritize one of those relationships with my other kids, right? I also have a Savior, who, admittedly, should’ve been the first relationship I mentioned, since that’s what He calls us to: relationship with Him. Reliance on Him. Love for Him. That should be my most meaningful… and it is, truly. It’s through my relationship with Him that I am given the ability to love, and the very love that I freely give to everyone else with whom I’m in relationship.

But after my familial unit relationships, I put great importance on my relationship with my original family unit: my parents and my brother. And grandparents, aunts and uncles with whom I grew up being close with my entire life, until I did “leave and cleave” to another family unit – whose relationships I also greatly value! And don’t even get me started on our close friends, their kids, our pastors, community group, co-workers at church, co-heirs and co-laborers in Christ’s Church! They are all of great importance to me. There are things to share with each other (not least of which is just sharing life together!) that I could just miss out on if I wasn’t willing and able to put myself in relationship with so many wonderful people.

So I suppose my real answer for the prompt is, well, all of them. All of my relationships are meaningful. Even if they don’t seem overly meaningful to me at this exact moment, they could be to the other person. And just that fact makes me value them a little more. Those people close to me, whom I see and talk to and do life with, those are my most meaningful relationships. Those are the relationships, all 30 or 40 of them, that I value the most, that I make the effort to develop, and that I would be horribly sad to see ended.

Everyday Exiles, faith, home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Growing Pains

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This post originally appeared on Everyday Exiles.

The past couple of weeks have been a little tough on my family. We’re facing some growing pains of a particular kind. Our schedules have all changed, due to having our two younger children at one (pre)school, and our eldest child at elementary school. Our toddler is potty-training and teething. Our family is an integral part of a church launch, which is taking much of our emotional and spiritual efforts, if not those in the physical sense. Our jobs are more demanding, somehow, in addition to these other things, and I would be remiss if I didn’t admit we’re suffering a little for it all.

Thankfully, these growing pains are all for good reason. They’re happening because we’re involved in sowing seeds, we are in the business of nurturing life, and we are experiencing a fine harvest. And yes, those things can all be happening at the same time.

Life is full of seasons, but within a family, there can be sowing and reaping simultaneously. We are sowing seeds of learning and a love for education in our daughter as she begins kindergarten. My husband and I are sowing as well into our professional lives, putting in extra hours, collaborating with our colleagues, and making more plans. We are nurturing our toddler as his body grows and changes. We are experiencing a beautiful harvest with our church family as we expand our congregation and launch a new campus, welcoming a new community to become a part of the Lord’s work as a part of our century-old church.

Growing pains are a sign that you are living life fully and well. You cannot experience growing pains by remaining stagnant, lying dormant, or settling. Sitting and waiting on something to happen to you isn’t the way to grow. Of course, there are seasons for rest, but we were created to be workers, to toil the land, and to rule over and take care of the earth. That’s literally the reason God created Adam (Genesis 1:28, 2:15) and it’s in our very design! Toiling as builders, as growers, as shepherds, as healers, as parents… these things are in our DNA, and they’re what our Creator divined for us. Great things that happen are almost always preceded by work – whether we worked for it, or God has done the work for us.

NaBloPoMo, random thoughts

A Writing Exercise.

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During the month of November, I’ll be participating in National Blog Post Month, where I’ll publish a post every single day. Sometimes, like today, I’ll use prompts. This one I wrote in about five minutes.

Today’s prompt: Do you write in cursive?

I journal. Sometimes, I journal a lot, pages and pages at a time. Sometimes, there are weeks between the times I’m truly able to sit down and pour myself out. I don’t usually write about things that happened that day, or grocery lists for the next trip to the store, or my thoughts on the latest movie that came out. It’s not a 16-year-old’s diary, right? Sometimes, the pages are full of prayers, pleas to the Lord for one thing or another, one friend or family member who needs a touch from Him. Other times, I’m processing something that’s happened, something I’ve read, or something I heard on a podcast or in a sermon. But one thing has been consistent in my journals for years.

My handwriting.

I can look back at journals from college (now ten years ago) and immediately recognize my handwriting as if I’d just written on those pages yesterday. Typically, my heart-outpouring scrawl is a mostly cursive, quickly slurred jumble of letters that is readable, but may require some deciphering. I frequently leave out a letter in the blend of loops that is a longer word. I also slur words together, as if I’m dictating someone who’s had to much too drink. I also have a couple of letters I rarely write in proper cursive style (s’s, for example, and uppercase G’s). I’ll stop a word right in the middle to write an “s” in “print” instead of writing it in cursive.

I think the way this handwriting evolved was when I got to college, and needed to write a lot very quickly. When I took notes in high school, my writing varied depending on my mood – sometimes a lovely cursive, sometimes all caps (something I’d seen my mom do on grocery lists and such), and sometimes a neat and tidy print. But those things mostly happened when I had extra time, and wasn’t in a rush. My slippery cursive-print blend evolved from my necessity to get information (or feelings) onto the paper before the ideas fell out of my head again. I still love writing, or even just doodling my name, particularly with a fancy pen. And, by the way, fancy pen for me doesn’t constitute something like a fountain pen. It really just means one that doesn’t blot, might be a lovely color of blue, and won’t smear onto the side of my hand.

Because I’m left-handed. I know you’ve seen someone with lead or ink smeared on the outside pad of their left hand before… right? I used to hate coloring with markers because I couldn’t keep my hand from getting covered in ink. My OCD goes way back to my early childhood days, trying not to be messy. And I still don’t like it.

food, food, home, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

Did you know? It’s National Men Make Dinner Day!

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During the month of November, I’ll be participating in National Blog Post Month, where I’ll publish a post every single day.

Did y’all know that November 2 is “National Men Make Dinner Day”?! For a lot of women, this would seem like a good opportunity to have your man to get in the kitchen. I know lots of wives and mamas who get burned out on being the “dinner master” each and every day. But for me, National Men Make Dinner Day is just an opportunity to celebrate how often (and how well!) my husband makes dinner for his family!

You see, my hubby is an incredible cook. He is creative (way more than I am), eclectic (because our family loves tons of different foods), knowledgable (the main thing that I am not), and basically a kitchen magician. Even if we haven’t been to the grocery store all week, and all we have are things we don’t use often, he’s able to create a delicious, and typically healthy, meal for us. I’m thankful that he is a sweet sharer of his gifts.

So if you’re asking your man who isn’t normally the cook to provide dinner for you, or for your family, don’t forget to ask nicely. You could help plan it out, or pick up the ingredients. Maybe even offer to open that bottle of wine to get it started! In our experience, wine makes the creativity flow more easily and makes the preparation and cooking process more fun. It’s so nice to be in the kitchen together!

books, holidays, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Currently – November Is Here!

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Happy November, y’all! I am loving the weather, the pumpkins on everyone’s front porches, the warm drinks, and the gorgeous colors around here these days. I’m linking up today with Anne in Residence and Julie of A Hopeful Hood. Join us and let us know what’s happening in your world currently!img_0358

Realizing || that I had been pushing myself too hard. I love running, working out, and being healthy, but I wasn’t getting enough rest/sleep to support my rigorous habits. So I’m trying to take more days off (or at least take it easier) and give myself a little grace when my schedule and lifestyle just can’t fit in that long run on my training itinerary. My second half marathon will just wait until spring.

Stirring || up the first cups of hot chocolate for the children, and spiced cider for myself! If I don’t feel like making the kiddos hot chocolate from scratch, Swiss Miss usually does the job for them… and my favorite store-bought cider is from Trader Joe’s! Less additives, more flavor – and spiked with some bourbon? Yes, please!

I wanted to capture the steam coming off the top of this cup, but I didn’t quite manage it.
Appreciating || the extra time I’ve spent reading recently. I’ve been watching a little less TV, listening to more podcasts (eating them UP actually – post coming soon) and reading every chance I get. “The chance” in my life right now looks like after the kids are in bed, while they’re napping, or real talk: on the toilet. But I’m reading through several at once (usually just one novel at a time, and several non-fiction of some sort) and enjoying spending more time in the quiet with some hot tea in my hand.

Here’s what I’m working with right now: top two I’m currently reading (or finishing finally), and the bottom two are next up. Not pictured: The Aviator’s Wife by Melanie Benjamin. It’s on my Kindle, which just doesn’t photograph very well.

Investigating || the Enneagram, and therefore learning things about myself I didn’t know before… or, at least, I didn’t have words to describe it. I’ve just learned about the Enneagram (check here for a synopsis of what it is if you’re new to it, too) and finding out my type, and learning about it within a Christian perspective (with resources like this). It’s been so fun to find out my number, and read up on it! I’m a 4w3, categorized by most as The Individualist or The Romantic. The other exciting thing is that our community group is going to walk through the Enneagram journey together as well!

Following || Jess Connolly and Emily P. Freeman on Instagram! They’re my new follows of the month, and they post encouraging things almost every day. I’m also listening to Emily’s podcast, The Next Right Thing. And obviously I’m about to start Jess’s brand new book!

And here are the only Halloween photos I got yesterday. We had a great time with our neighborhood tribe, especially since we had to make up for being sick on Halloween last year!

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EK wanted to be “Blackbird”. As in the song by the Beatles. So obviously she won Halloween.
faith, random thoughts

Call It a Win.

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Our church used to have this banner in our worship space that read “Seek, Find, and Win for Christ”. I never really liked it, mostly because for me, it called to mind a crusade-style jaunt into foreign places to force them into being Christians. I know that isn’t how they meant it when they hung them up, but for some reason, that’s what it conjured in me.

However, this week my century-old church launched its third campus, its second remote (in comparison to the original church building) worship venue. This has been over eight months in the making, including hundreds of people working, volunteering, making calls, donating money, crunching numbers, designing spaces, planning (and planning, and planning some more) and finally executing our first public worship service in the venue this morning. It was a beautiful thing to behold, all our work, prayers, and hopes for the project actually coming to fruition. I knew that God had shown up. He had shown up by preparing the space. He’d shown up by preparing hearts, working out kinks, bringing new people into our space, and just showing up there, in the moment, present in our worship and our teaching, in our conversations and prayers.

After I had time to slow down a little bit, and think on the morning, I was reminded of that banner. I think that for the first time, I felt the sort of victory that the banner had intended to depict. I thought of our advertising we’d been putting out over the past couple of months, preparing a community for a new opportunity in their area to get connected and hear about Jesus – the seeking of new people to come alongside us in our journey. I thought about people who told us they came today in response to invitations of current members, or those who came as a result of a radio ad or a Facebook sponsored post – people who had found us and would now hopefully be wooed by their Savior. I thought of the wonderful morning. A morning wrought with hard work and months of planning, but a morning that went off mostly without a hitch, a well-attended and genuine worship service that planted its first few seeds in a community, in a group of peoples’ hearts – indeed, a win for Christ.

Because, as our pastor mentioned this morning, Christ is center of our services, and of our lives. He’s the reason we do what we do. He’s not just the reason for a season or a guy we idolize because there are some cool stories about him. He’s the reason we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). Everything we do should be about him, even if it’s just raising our kids, going to our job, ordering coffee from the barista, or getting our groceries. Building his kingdom is what everything’s about. And if I had to guess, I’d say that he would consider this morning a win.

Thanks to Elaine Garrison for this amazing photo!

food, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Currently: September!

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Y’all! Is that fall I smell in the air?! I am beside myself for a this magical weather. Even if it just lasts until 10:30am, I am so excited for a cool down. It’s a glimpse of what’s to come, surely! Now if the rain would just calm down… but I know that I cannot complain, since those towards the coast are in for much worse pretty soon. 

This month, I’m linking up with Anne in Residence, and Lowanda of Sunshine and Elephants for our monthly Currently link party. Leave a comment, or link up and join us! Thanks for stopping by… and here’s what’s going on in my neck of the woods currently…

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Celebrating || the start of school! We’ve really amped up this year with our first true school experience (my oldest is off to kindergarten!) and the fact that the baby (age 2) began preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. It’s blowing my mind that all three of my kids are in some sort of school! And that they’re even old enough for that to be happening at all… time flies when you’re having fun busy with small children!

Watching || Our TV shows that are starting back up soon! We are excited to continue New Girl and I’ll be glad to get going on This Is Us. We also flew through that new installment of the Netflix Wet Hot American Summer Series (Ronnie Reagan, yikes) while we were on vacation last month, and recently began our trusted favorite show for the hundredth time: Arrested Development (the original, though I’m sure we’ll watch the Netflix add-on of that as well). We’ve also recently watched all the Star Wars movies, and several of them with the kids. They looooooove them. #nerdalert

Welcoming || a little tease of cooler weather! All last week the high was in the mid-70s and I was not sad. I have a new pair of suede booties that are BEGGING to be worn (thanks, Target!) and my scarves have been forlorn in my closet for months. I know that it won’t truly be cold enough for scarves here in NC for at LEAST another six weeks but I am READY!

Preparing || lunches for my kinder-girl and breakfasts for all. I’ve been trying to get some semi-meal planning done, which for me isn’t necessarily preparing a week’s worth of a meal schedule, but more like baking (healthy) muffins for breakfasts (or lunch!) and making twice the amount of (again, healthy) waffles I need in one morning to cover another morning’s breakfast. I pack most of EK’s lunch the night before, since she mostly just snacks for lunch (raw carrot, pretzels, cheese, fruit, maybe a PBJ or a turkey wrap). If I’ve got leftovers I know for sure she’ll eat (here’s looking at you, mac and cheese) I’ll send those along as well.

Photographing || the first day of school, as well as getting a fall photo session booked. I want something updated for Christmas, even if it’s a hot mess like it sorta was last year. It’s still tough to get a nice photo with all five of us in it, and so I usually end up with a collage on our Christmas card. But I’d really like to have something approaching a nice family photo this year. SO – bribery it is! (Jelly beans and M&Ms work best for my brood.) Here are our first day of school photos:

So now, tell me: what’s going on in your world currently?

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, travel

Relishing the End of Our Summer

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I’ve really enjoyed this summer. We’ve been burning the candle at both ends, in some ways, but it’s been a really fun, hectic, exciting, yet still relaxing summer. I definitely feel like we gave the kids a good time, made enough time for some dates, read a lot of books, and got a lot done around the house/yard.

Spending an unexpected week at our favorite beach was a definite highlight – shout out to our friends who let us rent their timeshare from them for a week! Bringing the kids to the beach Hubby grew up visiting was really special for all of us… including their first miniature golf experience! The beach is a good place for that.

We spent a lovely week at the lake with Hubby’s whole family, and had TONS of cousin time. Our kids got to fish, feed turtles, ride the boat (a lot!), swim “across the ocean” (basically between two of the docks), and spend a couple of mornings tubing! It was great to see them all playing together and even relaxing a bit.

We got to visit my parents’ house (the house I grew up in) once more before it sold… and we actually got to be there when it went under contract. We must’ve been a good luck charm!

Now that kindergarten has begun, and preschool will begin for the boys next week, I’m down to visiting the pool for the last few times and hitting up our favorite parks again before our schedules get crazy. We’ve done extra play dates with friends and chased our favorite food truck around town (seriously, my kids love the Bahtmobile!) and now we’re preparing for what will feel like a slow down, but will really just be a settling into routine. I’m thankful to have arrived safely at this point: back to a routine, to learning, to doing new things. It’s going to be a good year.

mommyhood, random thoughts

‘Twas the First Day of Kindergarten

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‘Twas the First Day of Kindergarten: An Ode to Parents’ Feelings

‘Twas the first day of kindergarten,
And all through the town
The fathers and mothers were
Not at all sitting down.
They were packing the lunches
And setting out clothes,
Filling the water bottles
And wiping their nose.
For, you see, they were trying
To keep themselves busy
So it’d be easier to hide
All the crying and wishing
For just one more day
With their sweet little dears.
So they washed some more dishes
To hide the falling tears.

But then they remembered
The tantrums and tears
Over small things and large things
Like scratches or fears.
They’d make mountains of molehills
And things inconsequential.
They kept saying, “MOM!”
Till there was potential
For a nervous breakdown!
Or at least an explosion
Of some stressful shouting
That would cause a commotion.
They remembered those times
That they’d almost forgotten,
Of cleaning up messes
And wiping all the bottoms.

But between feelings of love,
And feelings of relief,
The parents would still know
That the school day is brief.
Their children would return,
Tired but happy.
They’d want to chat, have a snuggle,
And maybe take a nappy.
Then it’s dinner, and a bath,
And send them off to their beds,
The moms and dads needing
To rest their own heads.

It takes energy to love
All those little ones well,
And to worry and fret
Over healthy food or weird smells.
We’re entrusted these kids
For the shortest of seasons.
How can we not also
Give hundreds of reasons
To be protective and kind,
Giving all the hugs and kisses?
One day they’ll be grown,
And we’ll be the ones who miss them.