Tag Archives: dads

My little people aren’t to blame.

November 16, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post originally appeared on Everyday Exiles.

I’ve written again and again about losing my patience. Again and again, people comment… “Me too,” they say. “I know what you mean.” and “It gets easier.” are other common responses. I get texts, private messages, and comments right on my blog or my Facebook page telling me what I already know is true: “Every parent loses their patience sometimes. Kids can be totally frustrating. You aren’t to blame.”

Well, my little people aren’t to blame, either.

What is our culture’s obsession with blame? We need someone to be in the wrong in every unfavorable situation. Our president or the government is to blame. My boss is to blame. Our spouses, our parents, our kids. Well, what about the recent hurricanes? Who is to blame for that? No one. We’d love to pin down who caused all the destruction, who could be held responsible for the damage done, the property lost, or the money that will be spent on rebuilding instead of vacations and Christmas presents.

So when I get upset, annoyed, frustrated, or just plain angry, my little people aren’t to blame. I might need reminding of this fact, but they simply aren’t to blame for their tendencies toward mess-making, misunderstandings, or sleep-deprived moodiness. My little ones aren’t to blame for the fact that scrambled eggs aren’t their favorite breakfast, or that they have to wear pants today, or even the fact that they can’t survive off of fruit snacks.

But you know what, I do agree that I’m not to blame either.

You see, the kids and I, we are human. We are broken. We are prone to mistakes and sins. The only thing that can redeem us of those things is the grace of God. It’s by the grace of God we love each other through and in spite of messes (literal and figurative) and it is by His grace we can sometimes rise above the little things that often get under our skin. It’s by the grace of God that I even have these perfect little people in my life, and I wouldn’t dare say that my frustration outweighs the daily joy they bring to my life.

mommyhood, random thoughts

‘Twas the First Day of Kindergarten

August 28, 2017 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

‘Twas the First Day of Kindergarten: An Ode to Parents’ Feelings

‘Twas the first day of kindergarten,
And all through the town
The fathers and mothers were
Not at all sitting down.
They were packing the lunches
And setting out clothes,
Filling the water bottles
And wiping their nose.
For, you see, they were trying
To keep themselves busy
So it’d be easier to hide
All the crying and wishing
For just one more day
With their sweet little dears.
So they washed some more dishes
To hide the falling tears.

But then they remembered
The tantrums and tears
Over small things and large things
Like scratches or fears.
They’d make mountains of molehills
And things inconsequential.
They kept saying, “MOM!”
Till there was potential
For a nervous breakdown!
Or at least an explosion
Of some stressful shouting
That would cause a commotion.
They remembered those times
That they’d almost forgotten,
Of cleaning up messes
And wiping all the bottoms.

But between feelings of love,
And feelings of relief,
The parents would still know
That the school day is brief.
Their children would return,
Tired but happy.
They’d want to chat, have a snuggle,
And maybe take a nappy.
Then it’s dinner, and a bath,
And send them off to their beds,
The moms and dads needing
To rest their own heads.

It takes energy to love
All those little ones well,
And to worry and fret
Over healthy food or weird smells.
We’re entrusted these kids
For the shortest of seasons.
How can we not also
Give hundreds of reasons
To be protective and kind,
Giving all the hugs and kisses?
One day they’ll be grown,
And we’ll be the ones who miss them.

faith, holidays, home, mommyhood, women

Fathers’ Day

June 19, 2016 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I’m privileged to be married to the kindest, most patient father there’s ever been. He’s selfless, fun, giving, and loving with our kids, and I couldn’t be prouder to call him ours.

He routinely works late at night, but never complains about being woken up early to give snuggles, read books, or play trains.

He teaches them about life and love and anything they come across.
He disciplines them when they need it, it strength and love. He cuddles and sings and cooks and reads. He provides for them emotionally and in the physical realm, too.

In short, I admire him as a dad and as a person. He is ultimate compliment to my crazy, my hard, my mad, and my difficult. He’s the perfect other side to all my personality, my parenting style, and my ever-fluctuating emotions. He is a rock, an encourager, a comedian (and sometimes jester), and a comforter. Happy Father’s Day, Hubby. I love you.

holidays, mommyhood

The Importance of Being Dad

June 21, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I am blessed to have known many wonderful fathers in my time on this earth. Several of them have been a part of my family at one time or another. I’m going to tell you about two really special ones today, my dad and my husband. Because being a dad is the most important job a man can ever have. Not every man is cut out for it, and not every man gets the privilege. But I’ve got two fantastic dads I can claim, and here’s a little tribute to them today.

My Dad.

10430414_615886907282_269227701886153351_n — Dad and J, making the same silly face!

1933806_510275303782_1304562_n — Dad and I dancing to Soulshine at my wedding. (Note that guitar player back there – Hubby!)

Dad, you have never failed to make me laugh. You have always been funny… and I like to think I got my sense of humor from you. You’ve always blown me away with how smart you are, and how much you’ve accomplished. You taught me how to balance the important things in my life. You taught me how to work hard, and work first. You taught me how to play second, and play hard. You worked so hard to give me everything, and I want you to know I see it, I appreciate it, and I emulate it in my own family now. You took our family on the best trips, got us all the best things, and gave us your very best, even though I know how exhausted you could be. Thanks for giving us all so much of yourself, and for never complaining about it once. You’re the best. Truly.

My Hubby.

10456013_609759970712_6807513693193614159_n — I love this sneaky smile while he’s loving on J.

1392025_584548185332_151075812_n — Okay, he’s great at sneaky smiles. I’m expecting J in this one.

You sweep me off my feet, pretty much daily. You have created with me a beautiful life, built on Jesus and love and laughter. You have shown me unconditional love and immense understanding, and you are showing the same patience and kindness to our children. You are the perfect partner for me: in life, in love, in parenting, in work and in play, we are the perfect match. You balance me out, keep me calm and keep me sane. You are an incredible dad, and I can’t wait to see you raise our kids and love them all the way through. Thank you for being you; it’s more than I could ever have dreamed.

mommyhood

Bedroom Swap

July 8, 2014 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

We are blessed with two children who are great sleepers. But once in a while, there is a fluke. And what happens when your groggy bedhog of a toddler climbs into your bed at 4:00am?

This. Your gallant husband takes a hit to his dignity at being wedged out of the bed, goes across the hall, and gets in your daughter’s pinktastic bed, complete with your childhood PowerPuff Girls and Tinkerbell pillowcases. And you humiliate him on your blog.

mommyhood, parenting fails

Parenting Plight #1: Poop-splosions

June 23, 2014 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

This morning, Hubby and I took the babes to Toys R Us. We needed a new exersaucer (or something similar) for J to practice standing and stepping in. Why don’t we just use the one we had with EK? She’s only two; it can’t be that old. Glad you asked, friend. In fact, it wasn’t that old, and J did use it. Both my kids loved it. EK would stand next to it and show J how to make sounds on all the little attachments.

One day, EK decided that since J wasn’t standing in it right that minute, she’d like to give it a try, for old times sake. So she climbed in and acted like a baby for a while. I was at work, Hubby was working on his laptop and J was playing on the floor. Since she seemed happy in there, Hubby just let her hang out. (Disclaimer: I would have done the same thing.) After a few minutes of happy playing, Hubby noticed an odor. And some squishing. And EK rubbing her hands all over the top of the toy. And you can guess what was happening (I really gave it away in the title). Weak stomachs, stop here. It’s going to get graphic.

She had pooped, wiggled around a little too much and gotten it out of the diaper, and then stuck her hands down in it to see what was going on down there. And then chaos really ensued. Because she couldn’t get out, she was grinding the poop into the bottom of the toy, which just so happened to be a piano keyboard (aka lots of cracks for the poop to get into). The fabric seat was covered, and all the toy attachments on top were covered too. It’s a miracle that she couldn’t get out, so the mess was (semi) contained. Hubby ended up throwing away her clothes and the toy, and giving her and himself a bath. It’s really too bad- we loved that thing.

the babes loving the (descriptively named) Fisher-Price Superstar Step 'N Play Piano — the babes loving the (descriptively named) Fisher-Price Superstar Step ‘N Play Piano

So there’s the story of why we needed to get a new exersaucer. Do you have any similar stories?

(By the way, we ended up with a Bright Start Cute Critters Activity Jumper, and we love it!)

random thoughts

Father’s Day

June 15, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I am blessed with an amazing father. He is kind, loving, supportive, hard-working and loves to party. The combination of the last two attributes are the way in which I am most like him… and I am glad to have both. He is an awesome dad who worked hard to give his kids everything without giving us a sense of entitlement. That is one of the biggest things I hope to instill in my own children. There is a big grey area between not wanting for things, and having excess and no appreciation for it. At times, my childish and immature self may have felt slighted or even angry at having less than I wanted, having to work and behave and study for what I got, but now I look back and know it was 100% for my benefit. He worked hard to give me a private education for which I am incredibly grateful. He was firm but forgiving when I wrecked not one, but two cars during the first few years of driving. He was maybe sad but excited to drop me off at college two states away, and even more sad yet excited to marry me off to a man from the same faraway place.

The man who made a new home for me is the most loving, incredible and Godly man I know. He is encouraging, loving and strong for both me and our children. He is a doting, adoring father, the very image of God as I see him parent our kids. I can’t wait to keep learning from him about unconditional love and forgiveness as we raise our kids together, and also in the way that he treats me. He is truly an awesome human.

There are other wonderful fathers in my life for whom I am thankful. Two grandfathers whom are already in heaven, but loved me dearly. A father-in-law who raised the amazing man that is my husband and contributes to the spoiling of both me and my children. Several pastors who have fathered me through different stages in my life, and now several more pastors who parent alongside me. Men who I have known since boyhood that are now husbands and fathers. Men who I have only known as fathers. Men who are about to become fathers and their excitement is unparalleled. These are the men who should be honored today. Thank a dad. Give him a hug, a high five, a wave. Even if he isn’t yours.

Do you have some dads in your life that you’re thankful for? What makes them great?

My father and my daughter on her 2nd birthday

My Graddy and me, circa 1981

My husband and son

My father-in-law, my son and my niece

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