Tag Archives: moms

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails, random thoughts

Questions You Ask As the Parent of Small Children

March 15, 2016 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

When I was a kid (and even now) it seemed to me my mom knew everything. If I was sick, she knew exactly what I needed to feel better. If I had lost something, she knew where it was. Even when I was a teen, she knew the fastest way to get anywhere and the best place to buy anything. Now that I’m the mom, I’m constantly confronted with questions that I’m asking my mom, my other mom friends, or even Google. (“Thank goodness for Google!” said all the millennial parents.) Here are just a few of the questions I feel like I’m constantly wondering:

Why won’t she eat banana anymore?

How much Tylenol do you give to a one year old?

What color poop should the baby have?

What day is it?

Will my kid ever get all his teeth?

Will I ever sleep again?

Where is the other sippy cup?

When will my kid just put his own clothes on?

How do I get up this many times in a night, and not die?

When did I last shower?

What does a concussion look like in a toddler?

How do I get that stain out?

Do I really have to wash my coffee mug every day?

How can it possibly still be two hours until bedtime?

Weren’t we just at the doctor’s office?

Does the baby have any clean pajamas?

Why does my daughter outgrow her clothes so quickly?

What’s the liquid on the floor?

Why is formula so expensive?

Is potty training this hard for everyone?

Do the grocery store people know me by name?

When will my kids be able to buckle themselves into the car?

What would I be doing right now if I didn’t have all these kids?

How fast do toddlers run?

How do we go through diapers so quickly?

Where’d that come from?

How am I out of clean underwear again already?

What sound does a zebra make? (Okay, I didn’t wonder that one, but I did have to Google it for my daughter.)

If you’ve ever asked Google or your own mom any of these things, then we could be friends. Just be careful when deciding if it’s poop or chocolate.

faith, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, my journey as a mother, pregnancy, random thoughts, women

5 Reasons Parenting My Threenager Is Exhausting

December 14, 2015 Only Hsuman 8 Comments

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

My threenager is amazing. She’s smart, compassionate, curious, kind, and surprisingly intuitive. She’s also stubborn, opinionated, extremely bold, and ridiculously energetic. Honestly, I think those are all good qualities to have, especially as a female. (And the strong women of the world applauded.) But sometimes, as her mother and the person who spends the most time with her, I get exhausted by her inexhaustible nature. Here are a few reasons why.

She Has So Many Questions. Asking questions is good. It’s how we learn and grow. However, when I’ve been asked 57 questions before I’ve uttered one word and I’m still in the bed, it wears on me. My threenager also has this knack for not hearing the answer to a question she asking, and therefore asks it again, and again, and again. This is a special kind of hell for a mom.

She Hates Bedtime. She doesn’t necessarily hate the process, or even the idea of laying in bed and snuggling her blanket and animals. What she hates is the going to sleep part. She thinks she’s missing something – even if what she’s missing is my brushing my teeth and heading to bed. She often gets up multiple times, wanders the house, and has endless energy she didn’t have when I asked her to put away her toys.

She Is a Fast Talker. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it. It doesn’t matter what Mom says… she will find a way to get what she wants. She’s already figured out that if she can get to Daddy quick enough, he might not know to say no. She will climb, run, and beg to get whatever it is she wants. When she’s a young adult, I’m going to be proud of these very qualities, but right now, it can be frustrating.

She Is Dramatic. The girl could win an Oscar. Reason #1 (of a thousand) we don’t watch Calliou is she already knows how to whine. She does it even when she doesn’t need to, and frequently incorporates a classic eye roll/angsty sigh combo. The speed at which a situation escalates is record-breaking, and usually has to do with her little brother.

And finally…

She Knows Everything. That’s why we call them threenagers, right? They think they know what they need AND what everyone else needs. I’m just praying we have a break from it before she hits middle school.

faith, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

When You Just Can’t Find a Single Thing You Do Right

October 22, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

This week, one of my blogger friends posed a question on her Facebook page. She was calling out to the moms in her community, asking them to speak positively about themselves. It was truly a wonderful opportunity for moms to brag on themselves for a bit, because that never happens. She basically said this: What’s one thing you do really well? I just want to hear you say something positive about yourself as a mom.

When I read it, I was giving the baby a bottle, putting him down for his nap. I had been scrolling through my Facebook feed, waiting for him to drop off into unconsciousness, so that I could lay him down. My bigs were already napping, and this was about to be my glorious hour or two of quiet freedom.

What’s one thing I do really well as a mom? Get them to nap at the same time so that I can have a moment of sanity. Oh wait, that’s really selfish. How about the fact that I’m great at getting a workout and a shower in every other day? Well, that still benefits me, not them.

All of a sudden, my mind is reeling and tears are coming to my eyes. Why can’t I think of a single thing I do well for my children? All I can think of are the basics. They’re clothed. They’re fed. They’re (relatively) clean. Well, that doesn’t make me a good mom… that’s the bare minimum. I can’t think of a single thing that I do as a mom that’s outstanding. I know so many other mothers who fall into that category. I’m often short-tempered and easily stressed out. Do those things count?

The more I think, the more I realize that as a mom, and as a woman (and a southern woman in particular), I’m trained to just try to be better. Not to recognize something I do well. I should be humble, hard-working, and put together. I shouldn’t be focused on what I do well – those things don’t need attention. The things that need attention are the things that need improvement. That’s where I should put my focus, right?

I agree with trying to be my best self. I agree with seeing that there may be things about myself that I can improve, change for the better. But I should be able to call to mind a thing or two that I do well. Feeding my children healthy food at almost every single meal and snack. Working out with and in front of them, so that they know being healthy is a priority. Spending lots of family time together, at home or out on the town. Reading to them most days and every night. THOSE are things I do well as a mom.

Here’s your encouragement for today. I read the comments on her question. It was lovely things like, “taking my kids to the park a few times a week” and “teaching my daughter sign language” and “listening to my children and taking their words to heart”. Those are truly wonderful things that moms are doing for their kids. Why don’t we give ourselves some slack? We’re doing a great job, moms. Love yourself a little. Give yourself a break. You’re a good mom. I know it.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, women

Clumsy Girls Need Grace

September 21, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

Hubby and I always talk about things we hope get passed down to our kids, and things we hope skip right over them. For instance, I had years of braces, but Hubby has naturally straight teeth. Guess which one of those I hope my kids get? Most of those things we talk about won’t manifest until a little later (a couple more years, at least!), but there’s one thing I’ve already seen in my daughter that she got from me…

Her clumsiness.

That actually would be a good royal name for her. More applesauce, Your Clumsiness?

At least once a day, I hear her cry out from across the house. I know nothing major has gone down, because it’s been so frequent that I can pretty much tell you what’s happened. She has stubbed her toe. Almost every single time. Or maybe she dropped something on it, or stumbled off of her plastic, high-heeled princess shoes, or hit her elbow on a doorframe. You know – the usual.

Part of me totally understands. It’s truly frustrating to trip over nothing and have bruises up and down your legs you don’t really remember getting. It’s a pain (ha ha, right?) to bump knees and elbows and toes on everything that sticks out one millimeter. It stinks to be a little less coordinated than the average (already uncoordinated) three-year-old. But the rest of me knows I have one job: teaching her that every little bump or bruise (or thing that doesn’t go her way) can’t be a big deal.

That’s where I’m a fault. Sometimes, I’m the one who makes a giant deal out of a spill, or a crash of something breakable. I’m the one who shouts in pain when I stub my toe – or like this morning, when I hit my knee getting in the car, and exclaimed, “Ouch! I think I broke my leg!” I hit it pretty hard, okay?!

It just isn’t practical to make a huge deal out of a stubbed toe. Or spilled milk. Or a bruised elbow. These things are going to happen, and she and I both need a lesson in patience and shrugging things off. We sometimes bring out the worst in each other, making big deals of things we shouldn’t. But it’s a learning process. I’m hoping to teach her to let it go earlier than I learned – because I’m obviously still working on it even now.

I know that what we need is grace. We need a reminder that we aren’t perfect, we will never be perfect, and it’s okay that way. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need the love and blood of a Savior to redeem our imperfections. Because we screw up, we react poorly, and then we feel guilt about it, we are human. And humans need Jesus to cover their sins and screw ups with amazing grace. A lesson in grace for my clumsy girl is also a lesson in grace for me.

mommyhood

An Ode to My Breast Pump

August 26, 2015 Only Hsuman 6 Comments

I hear a lot of people say they hate their breast pump. Well, it’s true… we all hate it at least a little bit. Working moms (of which I have been one) often feel like they’re dairy cows, hooked up so often to a feelings-less milk-collector. But now that I’m home with my babes, the breast pump and I have a different relationship, and therefore I will now declare my love for my mean, milk-collecting machine.

Oh, breast pump, how I’ve missed you!
I truly, truly have.
Though if I said that to them,
Some other folks would laugh.
They’d say, “No way! We hate that thing!”
But me? I know the truth.
You have a few perks on your side,
A thing or maybe two.
First of all, I find myself
Engorged beyond belief.
The pain I feel is all too real;
My breasts have just been beat.
So finally I hook you up.
And oh, the sweet release!
For you can do what baby can’t,
And empty me complete.
The second thing I love about you
Is quite a selfish thing.
I cannot use you when I’m surrounded
By my family.
So retreat I will into my room,
For quiet and for peace.
You are the perfect reason to be
By myself a piece.
So there they are, the reasons why
I think you’re not so bad.
I’ll love you still – I always will.
You make my boobies glad.

mommyhood, siblings

Moments of “Just Us”

June 18, 2015 Only Hsuman 7 Comments

Sometimes, there are beautiful, unplanned moments of bonding with your little ones. Moments like these can’t be fabricated or sought out. You just get to be blissfully surprised when they happen.

The other night, the kids got their dinner and bath early, and so there was quite a bit of play time before it was time to go to bed. In J’s new room downstairs, we have a queen size bed waiting for him to move into it. (Okay fine, there’s nowhere else to put it for the next few months before he’s ready for it.) Anyway, EK, J and I were piled on the bed. They had some toys they were playing with, and I was half playing on my phone, and half falling asleep. These days (33 weeks, for crying out loud!), it’s difficult to not want to nod off at every opportunity. After a little while, EK ran off to go find Daddy and I was left with J nestled in that space between my belly and knees, happily playing with his toys.

After my eyes had been closed for a minute or two, J crawled up next to my face, and started jabbering away about something. He does this fairly often, delivering a monologue that only he can fully understand, but that we all stop and listen to. I opened my eyes and looked at him, and he just stared into my eyes and talked to me. How I wish I knew what he was saying! Telling me secrets of dreams and desires, or just telling me he’d rather I fix his dinner some other way, I don’t know, but I loved just listening to his scruffy voice, lilting as though with perfect English.

I rolled over onto my back, and he crawled on my belly, still jabbering on. When he paused, I leaned forward a little bit, giving him what (I didn’t realize then) must’ve been his first Eskimo kiss – you know, where you rub your noses together? His giggles filled the room, vigorously shaking his head back and forth against mine, trying unsuccessfully to recreate the nose rubs. Every time I drew our faces together and “Eskimo kissed” him, he dissolved into giggles, rolling back and forth across my swollen belly.

Now, bringing the attention to my belly, the very tangible reminder of the time soon to come, I thought about how in a few weeks, my attention will be split even further, as I nurture and nourish our third child. These uninterrupted moments with my oldest two will be harder to come by than they already are. But for right now, I’m going to rest in the moments that are just us. Even if I’m tired (falling asleep, even) or uncomfortable or just want to be by myself. I’m going to come when they call me, and say yes more often. I’m going to treat myself and them to more special moments of “just us”.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, siblings

When am I not a “new mom” anymore?

June 1, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I spend a lot of time reading advice for new moms, or reading things for new parents. Still, even expecting baby #3, I’m doing this. It must be because I know that I haven’t done everything perfectly. It must be because I’m still new at having a three-year-old. It must be because I’m fairly new to having two kids. I’ll be new to having a third kid (in two months). There’s always something we’re going to be new at. Can you really be a seasoned mom at everything?

Whether you’re a new mom because you just delivered your first, or you’re a long-time mom who has a few adult children, there’s always something to remind you you haven’t done everything yet. Taking your first vacation as a family of four can be as brand new (and difficult) as the day you brought your first home from the hospital. Moving your toddler to a big boy bed can be like having a newborn again who won’t sleep through the night. First middle school dance, first high school prom, and first college formal sound similar, but require different tools (and feelings) in your mama arsenal. Even doing the same thing with each of your children can be like night and day. Sending a child to college is different with every child, since they’re all going off to different schools in different locations in different situations. Marrying off a daughter feels different than marrying off a son, so if you’ve done one, you might be new at the other. Sending off or marrying off your oldest is a totally different experience, I’m sure, than doing so with your youngest.

This year, my big thing I was new at was being a stay at home mom. I’ve been learning every day (every.single.day.) how to walk in this role effectively, gracefully, and comfortably. This is a big one for me. I identified a lot as a working mom for my first two years of motherhood. I had friends who did it that I could get advice from and vent to about things. I had the best of all possible situations, because my daughter (and then my son) stayed home with Daddy. There were still frustrations, sad things, and hard things about not being home with them. And, there were also great things about it.

Sorry I’m not sorry I just wrote that.

There were things like missing the tantrums, not being super stressed about missed naps, not seeing them get their shots at the doctor, or being able to kiss the sick kid on the head, and go to work, instead of dread a fussy day of remembering to give doses of Tylenol on time. I loved having a purpose outside of the home. I still do. I work part-time now (roughly 5-8 hours a week outside the home and several more inside) and I love having that outlet, that reason to leave the house, and the fact that I have the best of both worlds: a job that I love, and the opportunity to spend tons of time with my kids.

But the newness of being a SAHM hasn’t worn off. My kids are always entering new phases in their development, and I’m always catching up and learning the newest thing they do. My daughter is potty-training. One can NEVER be an expert at potty-training. That mess is REAL, y’all (emphasis on mess). My son has learned to climb up and down and all over everything, even in ways my daughter still doesn’t care to do. It’s taken baby-proofing and knowing where he is at all times to a whole other level (think never being alone because I have to be watching him). I’m still new at it. I’ll probably feel, for a little while, new at having a newborn, because breastfeeding, sleep cycles, teething, and growth patterns are different with every baby, and I’m sure the third baby won’t have as much of my undivided attention as even my second one did. It’s just the nature of the beast – no pun intended.

When you feel like you’re new at something, it’s okay. You’ll figure it out. It’s in your nature to find the best way somehow. We’re built for it. You have some motherly instincts, down in there somewhere – sometimes I really felt like I was digging to find mine. But I love my kids. And that makes me a good mom, no matter what stage of mothering I’m in.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

My Kids Are Basically My Best Friends

May 25, 2015 Only Hsuman 7 Comments

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

I came to the realization the other day that my relationship with my kids is similar to that of best friends. Our level of closeness rivals that of Bert and Ernie or Thelma and Louise. I’ll tell you why.

I talk to them more often than anyone else. When I’m constantly answering, “What’s that, mama?” and asking, “Are you ready for lunch?” I easily exceed one million words a day that’s we’ve exchanged. We literally talk about everything: foods we dislike, places we’ve left things, how bad our poops smell, and why we have to wear shoes to go to the playground.
I hold their hands a lot. We just love physical contact. Every time we’re in a parking lot, on a sidewalk, in a store, or crossing a street, we hold hands. We just can’t keep our hands apart.

We’re inseparable. I literally have one of my two best friends by my side all day long. We don’t even go to the bathroom alone! The only time they can bear to be separated from me is when they’re sleeping, and that’s only sometimes.

We know everything about each other. We’ve been in some seriously close situations together. Potty breaks, showers, laughing, crying and sleeping: we’ve done it all together. There are very few things about each other we don’t know. For instance, we can read each others’ moods, get on each others’ nerves, and do the sweetest things for each other, all on purpose.

We love each other a lot, but bicker like an old married couple. We don’t agree on everything, and we’re completely honest about it. I don’t agree when they poop at inconvenient times or refuse to eat their vegetables. They don’t agree when I make them go to bed on time or share their toys. We aren’t afraid to speak our minds. Our family is a safe place, after all.

Having little stooges to share my life with is basically one of the best things I’ve ever decided to do. Now, if they’d just get old enough to swap off driving on our road trips, or pick up the groceries on their way home, we’d be all set.

holidays, mommyhood, women

6 Things She’d REALLY Like for Mother’s Day

May 3, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

Because Mother’s Day is next weekend, and you need to start dropping hints NOW, I decided to post this a week in advance. As a mama, I think I’ve got a lead on the whole mother’s day gifting thing. Jewelry is always nice, and so are coffee mugs with sweet little sayings on them. But here are some things that I think would be a real hit with any mom, less expensive than diamonds, and a little better received than her 14th coffee mug.

If you do happen to think this mug would pair nicely with any of the suggestions below – you know, if the mama has a sense of humor – you can find it on amazon.com!

1. House Cleaning Service. It would be lovely for the mother in your life to not have to clean her toilets or mop the floors for a little while. She’d love it if you hired someone to do it for her for a change!

2. Date Night with her Significant Other. I bet she’d love to be wined and dined and out on the town for a little while, kid-free, in a cute top and dangly earrings. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive joint in town, as long as it also isn’t a Chili’s.Not hating on Chili’s, but not on date night, folks. Not on date night.

3. Coffee. To put in last year’s mug, of course! Whether it’s a gift card to the local coffee shop or a bag of her favorite expensively-roasted beans, this little caffeinated treat will ensure the safety and sanity of all involved. If she’s a coffee connoisseur, consider a French press or a nice bean grinder to feed her addiction.

4. Massage, Facial, or Mani/Pedi. One of the biggest perks of spa-type gifts is alone time. No kiddos at your massage, am I right? I think any spa-type gift is a relaxing and thoughtful one, and the better you know the mama, the better you’ll be at choosing which kind to get. If you don’t know her too well (maybe it’s your new mother-in-law) you could get a gift certificate to the location, instead of the service.

5. Wine. A newly-encountered bottle of foreign wine to pair with the next meal of her choice, or a nice bottle of her favorite to enjoy while bathing the kids then watching Netflix, wine can be a much appreciated gift! Better still, a night out with the girls at a local wine bar could be the thing that keeps your favorite mother sane. The mama you’re thinking of isn’t a wine drinker? Get her a fresh bottle or six-pack of her favorite libation and she’ll thank you just the same.

6. Movies. This doesn’t necessarily mean take her to the movies. That can be a super expensive evening if you’ve got to hire a babysitter, go out to dinner beforehand, and get some snacks and two $15 tickets. Since that’s typically the deal with an at-the-movies date, she might just be willing to settle for watching that flick she missed in the theatre snuggled up with you on the couch with a glass of wine. Bonus points if you cooked her dinner and put the kids to bed. After all – quality time is the goal.

Whatever you decide to get the lady who bore the children, make sure you have her mind when you get it. Pair it with a card with something you wrote inside it, and she’ll swoon. Show some love, add a few hugs and kisses, and it’ll be perfect.

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Tag Archives: moms

Questions You Ask As the Parent of Small Children

Top Posts of 2015

5 Reasons Parenting My Threenager Is Exhausting

When You Just Can’t Find a Single Thing You Do Right

Clumsy Girls Need Grace

An Ode to My Breast Pump

Moments of “Just Us”

When am I not a “new mom” anymore?

My Kids Are Basically My Best Friends

6 Things She’d REALLY Like for Mother’s Day

A mother's musings on family, faith, and fun!