Tag Archives: motherhood

mommyhood, random thoughts, women

How I Find Time for ME (As a Mom of Young Children)

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This post originally appeared on the Grit and Grace Project. 

Self-care is becoming a buzzword in our society. As we are able to work from home (read: anywhere), connect with hundreds of people are the touch of a button, and multitask like true professionals, we’re only getting busier. The call to slow down and take care of yourself is simultaneously getting louder and more difficult to heed.

As a SAHM mother of three children under five, who also works part-time, finding time for myself is often not at the top of my to-do list. But I’ve also realized that I’m a better wife and mother if I have a little time to myself. It looks different each day, and I spend it differently each time, but here are a few things I do to ensure a little time for me.

1. Plan it with my hubby. He’s my support and my biggest cheerleader, and he’s always willing to help me have time to get my nails done or even to just take a nap. He encourages me to write, to practice my music, to go out and have coffee without the kids. I plan with him for when he can keep the kids and I can sneak out for an hour or two to refresh, to relax, and do whatever it is I need to regroup.

2. Let some things go. Sometimes, when my kids are napping or go to bed early, I get the urge to clean all the things, fold all the laundry, and prep all the meals. Other times, I let it all slide (even though those chores are still waiting on me) to take a long shower, read a book with un-re-heated coffee, or watch a movie with a glass of wine. Believe me- the dishes aren’t going anywhere.

3. Hang out with a girlfriend (or a few). My girlfriends are a mix of fellow moms and also gal pals who don’t have kids. Sometimes it takes a lot of planning (and babysitters) to get together with them, but other times, I can just have a friend over for morning coffee after preschool drop off, or a post-bedtime chat over wine. Being with a girlfriend can refill the relational and feminine parts of me. And never underestimate the reinvigorating qualities of a girls’ night!

4. Take a power nap. Napping isn’t for everyone, and it wasn’t for me until I had kids. But now that I often choose many things over sleep (including things I love doing, not just chores), a power nap can work wonders. A 20-minute snooze during their nap time can be just as good as napping the whole time they’re asleep! If I know I have things to do after their bedtime, the power nap can keep me going a little longer.

5. Get dressed. I always feel more productive and happier with myself when I make the effort to get out of my pajamas (even if I’m not leaving the house), wash my face, and brush on a coat of mascara. It sounds silly, but it gives me a boost, and makes me feel more like myself, even if I don’t need to do it.

What things do you do to make sure you’re your best self?

holidays, mommyhood

I let her stay up late. 

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I wrote this piece during the Christmas season, when things were very busy, and I just hadn’t had enough time with EK.


My daughter is like me. She’s so much like me that it’s a little bit scary. For instance, she can run pretty well on a low amount of sleep. I’ve always been that way; slumber parties, college, newborn babies’ schedules: I’ve been a champion of productivity through it all. But now, I have a few toddlers and preschoolers, and they still need sleep, but EK is a the winner. She is often her normal self, even when I know she hasn’t gotten enough sleep.

The week before Christmas, things were hectic (surprise, surprise) and I was up late doing some wrapping. EK wandered out of her room, and found me amid rolls of wrapping paper, ribbons, and tape. Instead of getting frustrated that she’d been in bed for PLENTY long enough to fall asleep, I asked if she’d like to help me. She was thrilled. Hubby was working and the boys had long been asleep, so we stayed up for almost another hour, wrapping presents, tying bows, and she even got to label them all.

At the end of the hour, we were both sleepy, but we had had so much fun just being together, working side by side on a task, and seeing a pile of nicely wrapped gifts at the end. She looked at me when we were finished and said, “Mom! It feels like the middle of the night!” And while it was only about 10:00pm, I knew it must feel that way to her. I was tired too – and I stay up that late every night.

I walked her back to her room, tucked her in, and slid in the bed next to her. She requested a carol or two, and we sang them together. We said our prayers (the second time that evening) and I left to get ready for bed. I knew that letting her stay up with me had been a special treat, a sweet memory for my daughter to latch on to throughout the busy week ahead, when the house would be full of people and I wouldn’t have much time to be with only her. The next day, she didn’t seem extra tired or even a bit grumpy. I think the one-on-one time with me might have been just as restoring as that hour of sleep she lost.

health and fitness, mommyhood, random thoughts, Run Away., women

10 Thoughts I Have On a Long Run

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Every time I run in the morning, my steps “goal” is achieved in short order.

 

As a busy, part-time working, mostly-SAHM of three, and a fairly recent long-distance runner, I think a lot about random things while running. I do a lot of over-analyzing, some to-do list building, and some praying. I mean, I’m training for a half-marathon and that takes a lot of time of feet hitting pavement. All that considered, here are a few things that go through my head often while I’m out on a long run.

1. Do I know someone close by? I need to pee. Having three kids has pretty much wrecked my bladder. A friend recently recommended Kegels. I told her I thought that was some bullshit.

2. This is my fastest run ever! This is rarely true. Typically it’s just a bare-minimum pace, combined with a train of thought that’s made me feel like time has passed more quickly.

3. This is my slowest run ever! This is more likely than #2. However, it’s also not always true. Sometimes I’m actually running quickly, but the song I am listening to is too slow. I feel like my feet aren’t hitting the pavement quickly enough.

4. Do I need a snack before I run any farther? I have learned that if I haven’t eaten enough calories (or the right calories) before my run – since I often run in the morning – I’m going to get super tired after mile 4 or so. I’ve been packing some light snack options in that tiny pocket in my leggings. You know, something I can eat while running, without feeling the need to vomit afterwards. This is either a milestone of reaching a distance that feels really far for my body, or else a milestone of being 31 and too tired for this mess.

5. Haven’t I heard this song already? I only take my phone with me to listen to music. I use my FitBit for tracking, and make my iPhone an iPod. I don’t have many songs downloaded on there, and so when I put it on shuffle, and run for an hour, it’s actually possible that I start hearing things a second time. But I’m never quite sure… because what if that was yesterday? My memory’s going.

6. But seriously, when do the park bathrooms open? It’s March, it’s not that cold, and I’d like the bathrooms at my neighborhood running park to open up so that I can pee between mile 2 and 3, and again between mile 5 and 6. It’s a thing. I need to pee. All the time. (Let’s just say it’s because I’m super hydrated.)

7. Tomorrow I’m totally running 8 miles. Or however many miles I think is way farther than today. Because today isn’t a good day for it, but tomorrow will be. Right now, I’m a little tired.

8. Please Lord, don’t let me bite the dust. Inevitably, I get super tired on the stretch just before the homestretch. When I’m almost back to my house, I’m all, “Sweet! Just another half mile!” But just before then, I’m all, “Why did I ever let myself run for this many minutes in a row? I clearly am not hydrated or energized enough for this. I made a horrible decision and I’m going to chip my teeth on the sidewalk when I fall.” But I’m definitely not being over-dramatic about the situation.

9. These leggings are totally too big. I usually run in leggings, especially this time of year before it’s too warm. Recently, I’ve been having issues finding leggings that don’t ride up, or slide down, or twist, or keep me too warm, or let too much wind in. I have several different brands, and they’re all fine, but not amazing. Any tips for me, the OCD running queen?

10. I must be crazy to think I can do this. A half-marathon is 13.1 miles. The farthest I’ve gone recently is 7.2 miles. It seems I have a ways to go. I MUST BE CRAZY, Y’ALL.

But hey! Running makes me feel good, look good, and be able to talk like a crazy exercise freak with a lot of other people, including strangers. Cheers to the insane runners!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! EK and I are in Georgia with my family, but there are still some funnies here! Enjoy your Tuesday!

EK: How did she get you in her belly?
Me: What?
EK: Necie. How did she get you in her belly so you could be born?
Me: *oh no, oh no* Well… she got pregnant.
EK: Pregnant? Well how did you get out? Did they tear her belly and let you out?
Me: Uh, well, she went to the hospital to get me out.
EK: *tries to keep going*
Me: SO WHAT did you learn at school today, sweetie?!

J at bedtime: Will you sing about pineapple tree?
Me: I don’t think I know that one.
J: It goes like this: Pineapple tree, pineapple tree, pineapple tree, tomorroooooow! (In a very melodic voice I might add.) Now you do it!
Me: Well, I think it sounds great when you do it.
J: *repeats song*

EK and J have been making “birthday cakes” out of these manipulatives. EK made one on my bedroom floor, and J came in and saw it…J: Oh, Daddy! What a lovely cake!

J in the car one day, giggling his butt off: The ocean is made out of cookie butts!

Talking about our trip to my parents’ house before we left…
Hubby: What do you want to do there? Want to go shopping?
EK: Yeah! At the food store! In case they don’t have food and need it!

While EK and I were gone, J managed to cut his pinky finger on something. Hubby woke up to him very matter-of-factly telling him that he was bleeding. When I was FaceTiming him later that morning, he described what happened liked this: Well I was in D’s room. And I  smashed it! I smashed my promise finger on the black and grey fing. The rectangle. And then I was bleeding on the floor! And I just smashed my little piggy and I came upstairs. (Yes, “promise finger” and “little piggy” are words used to describe his pinky finger.)

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, all! Besides the adorable yoga photo, there are some other funnies here to brighten your day. Enjoy!


Necie: You have on shoes but no pants?
J: Yeah. Like EK did it. I did what she did.
(She was wearing a dress.)

Me: Are you upset, bud?
J: I’m just mad at everybody.
EK: That means you’re mad at me!
J: Not a funny joke!

EK: I’m not tired!
Necie: Yes you are… I can see it.
EK: I was just frownding.


J: Can you get me more card moneys?


EK is working on her drawing skills.

EK: I want to listen to Moana.
Me: Well, I put on the Disney radio, so whatever comes up is what we’ll hear.
EK, making her justification: It’s cloudy enough. We can listen to Moana.

J finishes his breakfast in record time.
Me: Wow! Would you like some more eggs?
J: Not exactly… (walks away)
Me: Okay, then.

J: Ahhh! He’s gonna stole this from me! (Runs away from D)

J, grunting and trying to pick up D: Here, Mom! Here’s the biggest boy you never haved before!

After putting him down twice and thinking I’ve finally gotten him to stay…
Me: Good night, babe.
J: Good night. I guess I am a liddle sleepy. (Followed by a dramatic but genuine yawn)

D has some new words, too! Here they are: no, bye bye, G-dah (what he’s calling my dad), Neenee (what he calls my mom AND hubby’s mom), night night, water, shoes, pants, nose, go (because he loves going wherever J and EK go), down (doesn’t like the high chair if he’s eaten what he considers to be enough) and yeaahhhh! And did I mention “no”? He says that one most of all.

Who else’s kids love saying no to everything? Will it ever stop?!

mommyhood, women

5 Things You DON’T Need on Your Baby Registry

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The industry devoted to “baby stuff” is making a killing off of new parents who don’t know what they will and won’t use when they have a baby. And like every parent, I went through trial and error to find the things that I love. I even used a few different things with each kid, because I found a new product I loved, or brainstormed an easier way to get a task done. But either way, there are a few things that you just will not need, no matter what. I’m not saying you wouldn’t use it if you got it, but if you’re in a spot where you’d like to save money, you can cross these things off your list.

Newborn shoes and coats. Your newborn will spend most of their time swaddled, in blankets, in fleecy suits that cover their feet, or sleep sacks. You don’t need baby Pumas or a baby North Face to keep them warm. And you can’t let them wear puffy coats in their car seat anyway.

A “Peepee Teepee”. If your little boy is going to pee during a diaper change, this thing isn’t going to save you. You have to have ninja reflexes to keep yourself from getting soaked if he pees without his diaper on. (As an unfortunate aside, girls can somehow soak you, too!)

Diaper Genie (or similar). Any trash can with a lid will do. Or you can do what we do: just take them outside to the bin. Yes, I’m sorry, but there will be diapers you’ll want to take straight outside.

Bottle warmer. It sounds nice in theory, but wouldn’t the warm water from your faucet warm a bottle just fine? Or put the bottle in a pot of water on the stove, and warm it that way. I’ve found that bottle warmers aren’t any faster. It’s basically just money a person could spend on diapers.

Changing Table. Just put that changing pad on top of the dresser, and boom! More storage, and less furniture you’ll just get rid of when they’re three. You might change half the diapers on the nearest surface, anyway.

This might seem cold, but it’s like I said: when you’re counting the dollars you’re spending, these are just a few unnecessary things. What are some things that you would add to this list? Did you get any shower gifts that you absolutely never used?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Sorry it’s so late – I’ve had a busy day, full of running, friends, games, and homemade pizza. But no excuses… Here are the funnies!


Passing the hospital at night…
EK: There’s Lala’s work! (our PA friend)
J: And Lala’s work glows in the dark!

J: Can I have dessert?
Me: I asked you to eat five more bites, but you’ve only eaten two.
EK, with no pause: Just eat three more bites, J.
Me to Hubby: Was that math or coincidence?
Hubby: Let’s call it math.

Every time J is in a public bathroom: Is this toilet gonna flush really loud?

Avocado=abocado, alocado

Whenever I have to scold EK, she say, “I miss-ed you while I was at school!” Like, she missed me so she’s gonna say rude stuff now.

D: *brings me pig* Woof woof!
Me: That pig says, “Oink!”
D: *brings me a bear* Meow! Meow!
Me: A kitty cat says, “Meow,” not a bear!
D: *huffs and puffs away*

EK: Can I have that back?
J: (screaming) YES, MY DARLING PRECIOUS!

J: I hurt my finger! When I crosed it in the door!

J: Is it two firty o’clock?

J catapults himself onto D, and D pulls his hair. J: Well, that’s how I get pulled by my hair.


EK (in the picture above): I’ll have a number 8.

EK, holding a pencil: How do you spell Drew?
I spell it, and then his wife and daughter’s names too.
EK: I spelled their whole family! Oh wait! What about Walker and Quinn?! (their dogs)


EK (referring to the picture above, top to bottom): It’s a flower, a star, another flower, and a hoolie-hoop!
(She’s been using her Spirograph!)

EK: *toots*
Necie: If that smells, I’m leaving.
EK: You could just go like this when you smell it! *covers her nose*

EK: Let’s play hind and seek!
Me: I think you mean hind end seek.
EK: What?
Me: Nevermind.

EK to our friend who was holding her newborn baby girl: That baby is so cute, I could die!

Well, there you have it! What have your kiddos been saying recently?

crafts/diy, faith, holidays, home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

An Advent Calendar of Surprises

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

Recently I was chatting with a friend who was flabbergasted that I’m basically done with my Christmas shopping. Really, that’s just because I love Amazon and I’m at Costco once a week. It makes it a little easier for me. But still- it made me feel really good about how well I was doing in preparation.

I finally have my decorations up now, including an Advent calendar that I made several years ago. I love the idea and doing a little something each day, and I’ve done something different inside it each year. Since my kids are all under age 5, they are just now getting into knowing what I’m reading to them, or looking forward to the activities that are in there. So this year, I filled the little pockets with Bible verses (mostly chronological, about the angel coming to Mary, Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem, etc.) and Christmas-themed family activities that I ripped off of several different folks’ ideas on their sites (watch a Christmas movie, sing a carol, etc.). Then I stuck a few jelly beans in five random pockets as a fun surprise. 

But I didn’t do all of this and prepare it until we should’ve been on day 3. We had already bypassed two whole days of December and it was the afternoon of the 3rd before I got started. So naturally, it’s a little scattered and low-budget looking. I didn’t print beautiful cards. I didn’t even write very clearly on half of them. I wasn’t super creative. You might say I was a slacker.

But giving my kids something to look forward to each day was important to me. I wanted them to look for a little surprise, and to wonder whether today was the day with candy. I wanted them to read a verse each day about Jesus’s coming, and have the reminder of what Christmas is about.

My kids don’t care that it could’ve been a little nicer or that I was two days late. They love surprises, and they love having a thing to look forward to. That’s all advent is, anyway: the looking forward to things to come. It’s the anticipation of Christ’s arrival, and the coming of a king. It’s a surprise, a glorious and wonderful surprise, the saving of souls and celebration of the saints.

faith, holidays, home, mommyhood, NaBloPoMo, random thoughts, women

40 Things for Which to Be Grateful

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While I’ve been doing this NaBloPoMo, it’s been interesting to see what I have to write about. I decided for the last day in November, I’d write forty things I was thankful for. So here they are. 

1. The roof over my head. A roof that is also known to be atop a hospitable place, known at least for good food and friendly faces, if not insurmountable messes.

2. The clothes on my back. I am always dressed in clothes without holes, appropriate for the weather, and typically at least a little bit stylish. I can be grateful for each of those things, and the incredible blessing that is all three.

3. My little big girl. At four and a half, EK challenges me every single day to be a better mama, have more patience, and pray about everything. I can see that my strong-willed daughter will be much like I was growing up, and I must prepare my heart for what is to come. But I am also immeasurably grateful for her heart, her energy, her intelligence, and her defiance, because they make her who she is. And who she is is wonderful.

4. My marvelous middle child. Even at not quite three, I can see J’s sweetness and gentle heart blessing others. While he certainly has his moments (I mentioned he was two, right?), he is generally thoughtful and kind. I don’t know how he does it, when the dominating females in his life have little patience (I mentioned EK and I are the same, right?) but he lives with us well. Just like his daddy.

5. My miraculous baby boy D. Spending a month not knowing whether you would live to see us or not was the scariest thing I have ever done, and I will be forever thankful for your healthy, joyous self. So full of smiles and giggles, you are the sunshine of our lives.

6. My kind and talented Hubby. He loves me unconditionally, and is a true saint in the way he treats me and puts up with my messy heart. He is patient with me when I am at my worst. He is an incredible father to our children, and I look up to him in every possible way.

7. The sheer number of good friends we have in our town. We have countless friends, new and old, that we love to hang out with, and that we could depend on in a time of need.

8. My church family. I really, really do consider myself blessed (#blessed, y’all) with a huge group of people who do life alongside me, who encourage me, teach me, push me, challenge me, and celebrate with me.

9. My women’s small group. These women are fun, insightful, encouraging, and genuine. We often have deep discussions, but we also enjoy hanging out together. Those are both so important, and I’m thankful for them and their discipleship alongside me.

10. My community group. These families are kind, funny, loving and helpful. We get together a couple of times a month, but I always find myself wishing we hung out more often.

11. The Bible. I know it sounds a little cliche for a Christian to say they’re thankful for the Bible, but I really am grateful for the comfort, encouragement, and conviction it provides.

12. My jobs. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the loosey-goosey, different-every-day nature of my jobs, and I often remember to do something or attend a meeting at the last minute. But these jobs allow me to spend an immense amount of time with my children and my husband. I am very grateful for that.

13. Food on the table. In the fridge. In the pantry. In my belly. Many people in this world – a staggering percentage – do not have enough of this basic thing of which I have an abundance.

14. Clean water. So many places do not have this luxury that we as Americans take completely for granted!

15. Sunshine. It is healing. I know, I know… it also could get you burned, but I think just knowing it’s right outside the window can make you feel better than a rainy, dreary climate.

16. Coffee. That precious, delicious treat that borders on necessity. Whether I make it, Hubby makes it, or the local barista makes it, I do so love it.

17. Wine. That deep red, or that bubbly… it’s a perfect addition to dinner or a snuggle on the couch watching TV. It’s certainly not a necessity, but it sure is a nice treat.

18. My family. For this one, I mean the dynamic between the five people that live in my house. We love each other and play well together. Sometimes we fight and get on each others’ nerves, but that won’t really go away. We work through it and move on. We love being together and for that I’m thankful.

19. My family. Like, the extended, everyone’s included family. I’ve got the best parents, brother, grandmother, and more I could ever ask for. They might live far away, but I love to see them!

20. My in-laws. You guys, I really hit the jackpot with in-laws. It’s a HUGE family, and I love every single person in it. I’ve got cousins, aunts, and uncles galore now, and also three more brothers, three sisters, and adorable nieces and nephews. I win on the family thing.

21. Music. It makes me feel all the feels. It relaxes me. It allows me to be in community with others in a special way.

22. Running and exercise. This is huge for me, since I use it as a stress reliever. I like being healthy enough to go on a run, blow of some steam, and sweat the feelings out.

23. Leggings and boots. They cover a multitude of sins (like not really wanting to be dressed, and feeling fat).

24. My health. I might not be the healthiest person in the world, by choice or genes, but I am far from unhealthy. I exercise, eat fairly healthy, and have been blessed with little sickness or other issues in my life. I’m thankful for that!

25. My car. I am blessed to be able to get from point A to point B with three children in tow. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to use public transportation with three kids under 5!

26. The right to vote. And to take birth control. And to drive, to stand up for myself, to work, to not work, to make money, to spend money, to be a person who can have any life I want. Women have come a long way. I’m particularly thankful for the right to vote this year, when it seems to have mattered a little bit more.

27. Technology. It’s proven to be dangerous sometimes, and when used incorrectly it can be awful. But it’s nice to be able to do things like check the weather, talk to friends, take pictures, and look up recipes all on my phone.

28. Heat. I’m particularly thankful for this one at this time of year, when it finally has gotten cold here. I’m thankful I don’t have to be chilly at night.

29. Gifts. The fact that we are able to buy gifts for our family and friends without worrying about what we gave up.

30. Humor. We love bent funny in our family. All things silliness are a blessing to me.

31. My love of reading. I truly do love getting lost in a book. It’s an enjoyable activity for me, and has been all my life. I hope I can pass it along to my kids!

32. Books. In addition to my love of reading, I suppose I should be thankful for what I read. I have learned so many things, been transported so many places, and felt so many emotions (all the feels!) due to the books I’ve read.

33. Sunshine. What a mood lifter! I never tire of seeing the sun.

34. God’s glorious creation. He has crafted each colored leaf, each ocean wave, each mountain’s peak, and ray of sunshine into a perfect masterpiece.

35. Modern medicine. I am thankful for vaccines and medicines that keep my family healthy, and the access I have to pretty much whatever we need.

36. The fact my kids are siblings. I love that they’re learning to share, love, give, and solve problems alongside each other. They are fiercely loyal to each other and rude to each other all at the same time. Perfect.

37. The holidays. I love seeing my family, Hubby’s family, lots of friends, and my kids all together. I love celebrating (no matter the reason) and I love all the sparkles and lights this time of year. I love sharing the wonder with my children, and helping them learn about why we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas (and other holidays as well). It’s such a warm and fuzzy time of year right now!

38. Dessert. Specifically cookies. My favorite. I don’t need to explain myself. 

39. The rain. What a cleansing and healing thing for the earth, and often for my soul. Especially thankful for it in the mountains right this moment. 

40. My town. Y’all, I love Winston Salem. I love this community, the diversity, the cool spots and nice places, the parks and playgrounds, the shopping, the eating, the beauty of a perfectly sized downtown. I just love it. 

home, mommyhood, random thoughts, women

Celebrate. 

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This weekend was one of celebration. First of all, I was able to leave the house and get my extrovert on after days of sickness keeping me quite housebound. That in itself is a celebration, in my opinion! 

But on top of that, I celebrated all weekend long. Friday, there was a huge party for my friend’s 50th birthday. An evening filled with food, drinks, friends and music, it was a celebration of a life lived well, a group of people who have loved each other well, and a continuation of relationships and fun. 

Then Saturday night, I went to a girls’ night. It was a celebration of cooler weather, of bonfires, of wassail and of silly games. I got to know a few new ladies and reconnect with some I haven’t hung with in a while. A wonderful celebration of girlfriends. 

Folks, is there any good thing that isn’t worth celebrating? I mean, seriously. Is there a single good thing, big or small, that isn’t worth a celebration of some sort? I don’t mean greeting card categories: “congrats on your new job!”, “happy milestone birthday!”, or “lovely engagement!” I also mean “good job not losing your sanity at the office today!” and “wow, you showered and went to the grocery store?!” Sometimes, the little things need a celebration. 

In this case, I’m a text-celebrater. I often text my hubby or my girlfriends to say “Everyone is napping at the same time!” Or “My favorite wine is on sale!” because darn it, it’s worth celebrating! In my opinion, celebrating small victories (or just times you went down a busy road and hit all green lights) can lift your mood, and why not share a good mood with your friends?

This post is part of my NaBloPoMo, where I publish a piece every day in November. It may stray a bit from my usual style, but I’m writing each day to exercise the muscle!