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Parent Fail #437: So I took my kids to Chick-fil-A…

So I took my kids to Chick-fil-A for dinner tonight. Hubby had rehearsal, and I thought since they hadn’t had it in a few days, it was a good dinner option for just the four of us. I was actually pretty pleased with how the whole experience was going; they ate well, played nicely, and had even exchanged their toys for ice cream without any meltdowns. Finally, I gave them the five minute warning before we left to come home.

Then the two minute.

Then the “One more slide down, and then get your shoes on!”

J came out first… my sweet little three and a half year old. He was still squealing, but carried his socks and shoes to our table. EK, my five year old, typical oldest child, came next, her shoes already on. It became clear I was going to have to drag D, my only semi-coherently communicating two year old, out of the play area by force.

As I was wrangling D out from the top of where I could possibly reach inside that sticky, primary-colored plastic, I saw EK next to the door to leave the restaurant, her head turned, looking for me. Assuming she was just being impatient, I almost ignored her, until I didn’t see J.

I bolted out the door of the play area, knowing D probably wasn’t going anywhere anyway. EK shouted at me that J had run outside, just as I saw his shoes and socks at our table. My heart began to pound in my chest, afraid that the Chick-fil-A local high school fundraiser dinner rush was the optimal time for my kid to get snatched, or run over. You know, worst case scenario stuff. (Spoiler: he is fine.)

As I told EK to get back to D in the play area and wait there, I ran smack into my savior – a woman holding my giggling son by the arm, saying, “I’m just worried about this child!” I snatched (see the irony?) said giggling child, and began reprimanding and crying simultaneously. Then, I managed to look at my savior, the woman who had prevented my child from being run over or snatched by a stranger… Full into the face of a woman I knew. A sweet family friend, a mom of several littles herself, who just happened to be walking into Chick-fil-A empty-handed, leaving a free hand to grab my wayward child. Bless her heart, she didn’t know when she chose her dinner location how she would cause tears of relief to run down my face. (And also a long talk about safe choices, followed by a consequence of skipping his nightly TV time.) This parent fail is just one more example of how it takes a tribe, y’all. Do the good works for your fellow mamas.

Things Toddlers Say (and Do)

 There’s a word my daughter said for weeks before I truly understood its meaning. J and I both have humidifiers in our rooms, and she kept pointing to them, asking if she should turn on the “fire”. At first, I thought this was because you can see the mist/vapor coming out of it, and she was associating “smoke” with “fire”. I finally figured out that she was muttering a syllable before “fire” and it was really just an attempt to say “humidifier”. Mom fail.

Overheard in the kitchen this morning…
Hubby: What do you want to listen to?
EK: Rock and roll!
Hubby: Don’t have to ask me twice. (Puts on Pink Floyd.)

Me, seeing EK search through the junk drawer: What are you looking for?
EK: I gotta put some chappick on.!
(I’m sure everyone with a kid knows why I hide my chapstick – I don’t want spit on, rubbed into everything, and then turned up into the lid irrevocably.)

First thing in the morning, when EK climbs in the bed with us:

EK: (to Hubby) Wake up, silly boy!

Upon receiving some Lucky Charms I had bought for St. Patrick’s Day:

EK: I’m gonna eat all the ush-minnows (marshmallows) first!

And now, for my other toddler, who might not use many words yet, but can sure as heck do silly things…

That’s our living room floor – covered in metallic Sharpie. EK never misused the art supplies unless she was tattooing herself. Our son, however, skipped art supplies and went for the same junk drawer mentioned above… and proceeded to give our Pollock-esque floor a little Picasso. Alas, it probably isn’t the last time. FYI though, nail polish remover got it off our vinyl floor!

What has your toddler said (or done) recently that’s worth a laugh?Does your kid do a little art on nontraditional materials?

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Accidental Announcement

A couple of days ago, when I posted for My Big Jesus, I sneakily (and accidentally) interjected a little announcement about myself… and my growing family!

We are expecting our third baby this July!!!

I know. That was a lackluster announcement. Sorry, third baby. I promise I will do something cool for you when you’re born, since I missed the opportunity to announce your presence a little more excitingly.

So there ya go! I’m 12 weeks today! Hello, second trimester! I’ve been feeling great (albeit exhausted) and super excited (albeit busy with life in general) about planning for and meeting another youngun into our home. I’ve also been working a little something for the blog ever since I found out I was pregnant…

I’ve been working on a miniseries (that wasn’t how it started, but that’s how it’s turned out!) about the first trimester of my pregnancy. I didn’t want to put it on the blog when we found out (at four weeks – holy moly!) but I did want to write about it. So over the next week, I’ll be posting the things I wrote about for the first few weeks I knew I was pregnant! I hope you enjoy reading about the first trimester of my little fig’s life (that’s how big the baby is right now. I’ve never actually seen a fig, so I don’t know what it means.) and how I’ve been coping with the decaf coffee and lack of sushi. I’ll even start posting bump photos, once I’m out of the “Did she just have a big lunch?” phase and into the “Aww, how far along are you?!” phase.

Anyone else out there prego? How far along are YOU?!