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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I hope you’ve gotten out there to vote! If not, there are a few hours left. The kids were really sad that I didn’t take them along with me, because they were very curious. But I also could not see waiting in a long line with a couple of rambunctious toddlers. Next year, maybe.

Anyway, here are the funnies! Enjoy a little lift in an otherwise serious day.
Me, waking J up from a long nap: *snuggle*kiss*cuddle*
J: *big yawns*
Me: You’re the cutest.
J, whispering: Get out of my bed.

On a walk with the kids in two strollers…
Me: Slow down! This is not a race.
EK: Yes it is! Run, Daddy! Run!

On the same walk, passing a family of six…
EK: That was a big family!
Me: They only had one more person than us!

EK, randomly: I texted Samuel from your phone.
Me: Oh, uh, okay…

Classic…
EK: For dinner, I want a hamburger and French fries and ketchup.
J: I want a hamburger and French fries and butter and ANOTHER HAMBURGER!

EK, randomly: Can I take a boat ride and get pregnant?
Me: Wait, what?

We are often trying to make D walk nowadays (he’s stubbornly crawling still) and every time we do it, J follows up with: Hey! Let’s see if J could walk!!

Current Misnomers:
Library=live-bary
Plasma car (a neat ride-on toy we have)=jasmine car
Remote=Bamote

After J was singing his own mash-up of “Twinkle Twinkle” and “ABC” and semi-playing it on the piano…
Me: That was great, bud! You’re so talented!
J: I’m so tired of songs. (Gets up and walks away.)
Me: Okay…

J, just before his nap: I can’t wait for Christmas, Mommy.
Me: Why is that, sweetie?
J: I can’t wait for Christmas and when the snow comes while the sun is down.
(Poor kid doesn’t realize we don’t really have white Christmases in this state.)

Things my kids pretended a large cardboard box was: house, boat, closet, and the ultimate hiding place. For DAYS.

Me: I was thinking we could have Italian for dinner.
J: That sounds ablicious!

Every single morning… Already…
J: IS IT CHRISTMAS?!
Me: Is the tree up?
J: No.
Me: Then not yet.

Well, there are the funnies. Are your kiddos excited about Christmas? Are they already begging to do all the Christmas things?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday! In keeping with our Tuesday tradition, here are our recent funnies! I hope you enjoy their crazy thoughts!

 Heard in the back seat…

EK: Put the icing in the cookie! You mean on the cookie? No! In the cookie! Ahhhh!

At the gas pump…
EK: Mom! I’m watching for the numbers to stop!
J: And I’m watching for a stop sign!

J, randomly: FLY IN THE HOUSE! FLY IN THE HOUSE!

EK hands me a bunny I had when I was growing up: Look what I bought for you, Mommy!
Me: Um, no.

Necie invited EK to spend the night with her…
EK: I packed for like ten days. And on the seventh day, you will bring me home safely.

EK and Necie drawing lady bugs…
EK: I’ll make Daddy’s in boy colors. 

EK, to the tune of “Happy Birthday”: Happy Halloween to you! Happy Halloween to you! Happy Halloween, all the womans! Happy Halloween, Je-sus!”

Driving past a bulldozer…
EK: J, look out your window! You love those, huh?

Listening to my set list for church while we’re in the car…
J: Mommy! I hear you in the radio!
EK: Yeah, there are two of you in the car!

J, saying our prayers: pray for Wesley and Holly and our cousins. And I want to get in a helicopter and go to Taiwan and see them.
Me: Me too, buddy.

EK and J having a tea party with a stuffed animal…
EK: Mom! We got a serious problem over here!
Me: What’s going on?
EK: This man can’t walk! (Pointing to stuffed animal.)
Me: Oh no! Are his legs broken?
EK: Just this one.
Me: Should we try to find him a wheelchair?
EK: Nah, I’m just gonna fix it.

EK: Do you have Miss Crystal’s number? (Her teacher)
Me: No, but I have her email address so I could send her a message.
EK: Oh. I think it’s 851, but I’ll ask her tomorrow at school.

Well, hope you enjoyed this week’s edition of Things Toddlers Say! Check back every Tuesday for more funnies!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday! It’s been busy around here (more on that later!) so I’ve only just realized it’s actually Tuesday. Enjoy these funnies!

 J: You know what was on the tv?

Me: What?
J: A fairy ghost car!

Hubby: We’re going to Jimmy John’s for lunch!
EK: Where does he live?
J: Is that his name?

J: Mama, you know what I’m gonna do with my lunch?
Me: What?
J: I’m gonna eat it all!
Me: Great!
J: Yummmmm.

J, getting in my bed at the crack: There’s no room for me!
Sorry kid, it’s actually my bed.

Bedtime stalling techniques…
J: Is there a baby in your tummy?
Me: Nope, just the food I ate.
J: So squishy!
Me: Well thanks.
J: Can I see how soft your eyebrows are?
Me: I guess so.
J: So soft! And your earrings are so pretty! Tomorrow when the sun comes up I can play with them?
Me: Uh, yeah, good night.

EK, above: Mom! I can feel my forehead!

Me: Are you going to take one more big bite?
Ek: I’m gonna take the biggest bite! Biggest than Jesus!
Me: Okay…

Me: How’d you get so big?
EK: Because we went to lunch together!

J, when he woke from a long nap: You know why I’m cold? Cause it’s windy outside.

At bedtime…
J: Your earrings are bally, I guess.
Me: What?
J: Your earrings are bally.
Me: What do you mean?
J, flicks one earring: They’re balls. And silver. Can I wear one?
Me: Oh. And, uh, maybe tomorrow. (And then I run away laugh-crying.)

Eating a salad…
J: A cucumber fell into my mouth!
EK: Look, a green bracelet! (Green pepper ring)
J: And a purple necklace! (Purple onion ring)

Telling me about the babysitter…
J: She was nice. I liked her. I was not rude to she. I was only nice to she. So she was not rude.
Me: Well I guess that’s good!

EK: Daddy, I’m sorry J pooped on your bed while he was naked.
Everyone: What?!
(Rest assured- that didn’t actually happen.)

J: Do you know what I’m gonna be on Halloween?
EK: No noggin!
J: Don’t say no noggin!
Me: What are you gonna be, babe?
J: No noggin!!!!!
(If you’ve not watched Curious George’s Boo Fest, that’s what it’s from. It’s on Netflix!)

At breakfast…
EK: You know the the boys could be when they grow up? J could be a daddy and D could be a grandfather!
J: I actually want to be a pirate daddy. You could be a pirate mommy!
EK: I don’t WANT to be a pirate mommy!
Me: Seems legit.

What silly things are you kids saying these days?

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! I almost forgot it was Tuesday! Here are the things from the week that were a little humorous… Enjoy!

Talking about being outside…
Me: …and I think Daddy wants to blow the leaves, too.
EK: I want the leaves to stay where they are, because it’s fall!

Talking about someone saying something mean to EK at school…
Me: You know what? Sometimes people say mean things. I don’t know that boy, so I can’t really make him stop. But you can tell him the truth, and that he’s wrong, and walk away.
J: I can make him stop! I can do this thing! I will make him stop and get my light savers (sabers, obvi) and make him stop!
Me: 😍

J’s preschool teacher told me this: J is very smart. He is able to remember details from the stories we read the next day. Although, when we read about Noah, I asked the children, “What did God put up in the sky after the flood?” And J kept saying, “Duck!”

Peekaboo champion…
J: Here, D. I got your bee swaddle! Zzzzzzz…. (He puts it on D’s head.) Look, Mom! Where did D go?!

G-Daddy to EK: You have your shoes on the wrong feet.
EK, crossing her ankles: Now they’re on the right feet.

J: Mom! Look what I picked!
Me: A booger?
J: Yeah!

EK: I want Cinderella’s pink dress.
Me: But Cinderella doesn’t wear a pink dress.
EK: Yeah she does. She has one from her mice.
Me: Touché.

J, holding out his hand: I catched it!
Me: Caught what?
J: My spit!

Twenty-first century kids…
EK: I want to hear the train song.
J: We can’t pull it up.

Bee stings from two weeks ago…
EK: When we get home, I would like a little ice for my stung. It was a couple weeks ago but it’s still there and it’s still hurting. That night when our friends were here? It’s still a sting and it hurts.

Some tidbits from a ride home one evening…
J: I could see some lights that I could see!
EK: And I see some trees!
J: I see some broccolis, mama!
EK: Um, um, um, um, um… how many times did I say um, mom?!
J: I’m still hungry. How much am I hungry, mom?
EK: When will I be home?
All in the same convo.

After we put the kids to bed, and we’re getting to bed ourselves, J comes up, asking for extra snuggles. Hubby and I hop on the bed for a couple of minutes of snuggling. After a sweet 30 seconds, J exclaims, “Somebody stinks.” and hops off the bed. Um, goodnight?

What are your kids talking about? Are they as random as mine?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hello, and happy Tuesday! I’ve got a few good ones for ya. I spent two and a half days away from the kids this week, taking care of a friend… so it’s possible this one is a little short. But it’s good! I even got some FaceTime hilarity for you. Anyway, happy Tuesday and ENJOY!

 EK, on the phone with my mom…

Necie: Has J been doing well using the potty?
EK: Yes! J has a peanut, he points it down to the floor, and pees in the potty!

EK: There’s a cricket over there!
J: Yeah, we need to get a hammer and shout at it!

EK, at carpool: There’s Miss Angie (her teacher last year)! Before I got in the carpool line, I popped into her Peacocks class and gave her a hug and a kiss!

Learning to BURN…
EK: I want to sit next to Daddy!
Me: You’re across from him, so you can look at him!
EK: But I’m across from J and I don’t want to look at him!
Me: Then close your eyes.
EK: Close your BUTT!
Hubby: *dies laughing*
Me to Hubby: Whose side are you on, anyway?!

J: I got a scratchy booty – I better go potty.

EK at dinner: Can you feed me like a baby?
Me: …..

Me: Your bangs need to be trimmed.
EK: Yeah. They’re longest than Rapunzel.

Eating outside at a restaurant downtown, an acquaintance stops to say hello. When he walks away, EK says, “How about we could invite him to the house to hang out before the kids go to bed? He’s never visited our house before.” Don’t say we don’t have hospitality at our place.

On FaceTime with J, when he doesn’t want to talk to me…
Me: Daddy sent me pictures from this morning (at the children’s museum). Did you have fun?
J: No
Me: Oh, okay.
J: It’s nap time.
Me: Well, I love you!
J: I love you. I’m going to turn off the talking thing now.

Later that day, on FaceTime with EK…
Me: EK, could I say hi to J?
EK: Sure! J! Mommy wants to say hi!
J: Hi, Mommy!
Me: Hi, bud! How are you?
J: Good!
Me: Did you have fun at dinner?
J: Yeah! I’m gonna turn this off now.
Me: Wait! I want to talk to daddy!
J: *tries to cut me off*

Let’s hear what your kids are saying! Are they able to talk on the phone? Or do they just hang up on everyone?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, y’all! We had a lovely week at the beach last week, not completely but fairly unplugged, and so this might be a little short. But still, I would never leave you without the funnies. Have a great Tuesday!

 EK: Okay, you say, “What am I eating?” and I’ll say, “Cucumber and chip.”

Hubby: What?
EK: You say, “What am I eating?”!
Hubby: What are you eating?
EK: Cucumber and chip!
That’s her new game: telling someone (usually J) “You say this, and I’ll say that.”

J: I want to listen to the muskick!

EK during a “dance party”: I’m gonna do my naked girl dance now!

J, stepping on crumbs around the table: Ugh, Mom, I stepped on lunch!
Me: *brain explodes*

J, feeding D some of his dinner: Here comes the airplane! Choo choo choo, nnnnnyeeeeerrrrrr!

When we got home from the beach, we were late for nap time and everyone was exhausted. They went down for late naps, and I had to wake them (for dinner and so they would eventually go to bed). It took several wake up attempts to get everyone up. Then, EK had a 30 minute meltdown that started with D wanting her swaddle, and ended with missing being a baby and how D got all of her stuff (like her high chair). It was exhaustion-induced ridiculousness.

Announcing success to a busy restaurant…
J: I just pee-peed in the potty!

Future cheerleaders….
J: You say, “What the” and I’ll say, “heck!”
EK: What the!
J: Heck?!
EK: What the!
J: Heck?!
And on and on. Told you it was her favorite game.

*Chris Stapleton’s “Tennessee Whiskey” comes on*
J: Mama, you sang this upstairs at church!
Me: Did I?

J: Are we on (our road name) Mom?
Me: Yes we are!
J: Yeah, where our family and friends are!
Me: We’re never moving.

Hogwarts-style punishment…
EK: I broke his wand in half.

EK: Mommy, I told your husband that he made a nice dinner. 

Well, those are the things my kiddos are saying. What silly things do your kids say?

food, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

5 Tips for Eating Out with Kids (and 5 Reasons It’s Still Gonna Be Hard)

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

Hubby and I are foodies. We like to eat out at lots of different restaurants, try new things, get ideas to use in our own kitchen, and experience local flavors. We want those things to be valued in our kids as well, but who are we kidding? It’s tough to be at a restaurant with small kids. Just yesterday, we went out to brunch after church with our three kids, at a fairly nice restaurant downtown. We had a mostly successful time, and we’ve agreed that it’s experiences like yesterday’s brunch that trick us into thinking, Our kids are so good at restaurants! I’m here to tell you it isn’t always that way, BUT! I have a few tips to make it go more smoothly.

 1. Bring activities. This sounds a lot like “bring your tablet”, but it doesn’t have to be that way. My kids love those cheap little activity/coloring pads and a “magic” pen that only writes on the pad. They also like stickers and a pocket-sized notebook. Or games on an iPhone. I would love to say I’m above it, but I’m totally not – especially in a pinch.

2. Order an appetizer. Or order the kids’ food right when you arrive. The quicker a little food gets on the table, the better. If you don’t want to spoil their dinner, I totally get it. Order a healthy-ish appetizer, or look over the menu online, and be ready to order their dinner when you order your drinks. That bloomin’ onion might actually save your dinner.

3. Allow yourself to set the bar low. I don’t mean let your kids run around screaming, but sometimes, if they’re switching seats with each other every three minutes, that’s better than popping up at other people’s tables to say hello to every single stranger in the room. It’s hard to allow a few things to slide, but if they have a small amount of freedom, that little bit will take the place of having a bigger problem.

4. Go out when the kids are well-rested. If your daughter missed her nap today, it might not be the best night to try out that new restaurant. You’d hate to be that couple who were escorted off the premises for bringing a mountain lion into the restaurant.

5. Let them have a special treat. My kids are all about some special treats, whether they’re special drinks (lemonade, anyone?), dessert (to share, of course), or even an entree I wouldn’t normally consider the best choice. But when we’re at a restaurant, they know that it’s a special time for our family, and ordering chicken and waffles for dinner is okay by me!

Now, those tips are not fool-proof. They are not a recipe for a drama-free dinner with your children. It does not ensure a date night feel, or a happy, clean, relaxing experience. And yes, the childless couple in the corner is still eyeing your table with disdain. Here’s why:

1. Your kids hate the activity you brought.

2. Your son doesn’t like fried food, bread, or salad. He only eats macaroni and cheese from a box, and this restaurant doesn’t serve that.

3. You set the bar low, but your kids set it even lower.

4. They got their naps in, and so they’re bundles of energy that cannot be contained to a booth.

5. That maple syrup just got EVERYWHERE.

So, going out to eat is always an adventure, but they’ve gotta learn to be polite at a restaurant sometime. Why not now?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! We’re on VACAY this week, so this one is a shorty… but I wouldn’t leave ya without some funnies. Enjoy!

Staring out the window during breakfast…
Hubby: What are you looking at, J?
J: The trees and they’re so beautiful.

J, one morning: And then we could have ice cream! But right now we can’t have ice cream.

EK to J: Your peanut looks like a tail! (peanut=penis)

J, singing a song he made up: When a bulldozer goes bye bye…

EK to J: Yeah, Mom can call the police officer and tell them to put the bugs, and crickets, and stink bugs…
J: and crabs and crickets!
EK: yeah and put them into jail. Can you do that mom?

Hubby was on the phone…
J: Dad! DAD! DAAAAAD! Can you, can you, um, get me some, some, some, um, some milk?

J, to Hubby while he was practicing mandolin: Dad, excuse me! I need to talk to you!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: You’re the best and I love you.

EK, handing me a doll: Will you hold the baby?
Me: Sure! (I hold the baby for a minute.)
J: Mom, let me shake that baby for you.
Me: Umm…

J: What’s that red store, mama?
Me: Target!
J: Can I get in there?!

Hubby: EK, this is Holly.
EK: You mean there’s a second Holly in the world?! (Her aunt’s name is Holly, too.)

J, coming down the hallway from the bathroom, crying, pants around his ankles: Moooooom I need help!
Me: What happened?
J, crying: I need new pants!
Me: Did you pee in your pants?
J, wailing now: No, but I got pee on them and it’s on my face!
Me, noticing his hair is wet, and trying not to laugh: How did you pee on your face?
J: I thought it was pointing down! (Cries more.)
Me: (LOSING IT BIG TIME)

J: MomDad (said as one word), can I put on my trunks and get in that hotbathtub? (Also one word, meaning hot tub.)

Hope you enjoyed! What silly things are your kids saying these days?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday weekend, and hopefully a restful day yesterday. Since we had just gotten back in town from Georgia, we stayed in town for the weekend, celebrated a friend’s birthday, got together with our small group, and hung out with family. Here are a few of our funnies from the past week – enjoy!

While building with blocks with Necie…
EK: How’s that?
Necie: Great! You could be an architect one day!
EK: But I want to be a mommy when I grow up!
Me: You can be both!
EK: Both!?! I can be a Mommytect!
Me: Yes. Yes you can.

J has been using the potty a lot recently, and we decided when he started talking about his body, we’d just use the word penis, instead of coming up with a nickname or baby talk. I didn’t regret it, until the bigs were in a name-calling match in the back seat of the car, and I heard him say, “Well you’re a PENIS!” He only good thing is that it meant nothing to her, not having one herself. He also uses the word “peanuts” instead of penis occasionally.

Smoothie=soomie, snoothie, or smovie, depending on who you ask.

Hubby and I were trying to talk to my aunt. We were interrupted three times by J yelling our names, in turn, and asking, “What’d you have for breakfast?”

J yelling from the back of the car: Mom! Excuse me! MOM! EX. CUSE. ME!

EK, pointing out the car window: Look at those bozozers! (Bulldozers)

Apparently trying to imitate me…
EK: J! D! J! D! Whatever your name is!

EK: Can you come downstairs with me?
Me: Sure! What’s down there?
EK: I’m gonna show you (*twirls*) the new clean living room I’ve been working on!

J: I can’t remember EK’s name.
EK: *sighs*says her name*

Words of wisdom…
J, holding a veggie straw over a bowl of salsa: I don’t wanna put my veggie straw in theeeeeeere…
EK: Well, just don’t do it.
J: Okay.
Me: THANK YOU!

J: Mom! Brownie is just like poopy!

EK: Mom, um, excuse me. It’s EK trying to talk to you. 

Well, what have your kids been saying recently?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hello again, Tuesday! I hope y’all are ready for some funnies to keep your week’s momentum up! Here they are!


Flattery will get you everywhere…
EK, while we were driving to a friend’s house: Daddy, you’re the master driver to tell me how long until we get there.

J pooped in his tiny potty finally: Mom! There’s a huge snake poop in there!

When J peed on the potty…
J: There’s the muchest pee I ever saw!
EK: Wow! That’s so great! I love you!

Just like a man, he carried the potty to where he could go while he watched TV.

EK wearing these pajamas…EK: After J pees on his potty, I’ll give him an ice cream from my… (Pointing at her knee, unable to think of the word…)
J: Pants?
EK: Yeah. Pants!

EK to me: Can we take a selfie? Wait! Let’s do chitchat! (She means Snapchat.)

EK: I want to be a doctor, and I can’t find my eperscope (stethoscope) OR my Doc McStuffins dress!
Me: *facepalm*

J: When we get to Annie’s grocery store, I want some ice cream and… um… and see… *trails off*

EK, after a big meal, pulls her dress up: Hey! Watch my belly pop!

During a game of pretend, while banging a toy pan…
J, to EK: Wake up! It’s morning time, schweetie!

Sharing tips over breakfast…
EK: J, take your blueberries and dip them in your syrup… (whispers) because it makes them taste like syrup!

J: When I get big, I will be the cook, and make you lunch, and you will like it! (Man after my own heart.)

EK, pointing at a girl in the Carter’s catalog: Wow. She is super. duper. cute.

Well that’s it for today. What are your kids talking about these days?