Tag Archives: Things Toddlers Say

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Hey there, and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did – we hosted and had a total of 13 here for about three days, and completed our celebrations with sugary hangovers yesterday. Back to a little more normal today, thankfully. Here are a few of our funnies from the past week. I tried to live in the moment and keep my phone out of my hand as much as possible, but I did write down these for ya! Enjoy!

EK: You should sleep down here! (in her room)
Me: Do you think Daddy would miss me?
EK: No, he’s at a long gig. You can sleep with me because I don’t snore.
Me: *dead*

EK coming out of the bathroom: Mom, we really should clean the toilets.

EK, on our waiter at the Mexican restaurant: He looks like a prince!

Bedtime stalling techniques of the week:
EK: Can you ask Daddy to put a stained glass window in our house?
A few minutes later…
EK: I think Daddy knows how to make windows.

Christmas morning, EK: What is all this stuff?
Me: Santa came!
EK: Oh.
Me: *face palm*about the money I spent*

EK: Look, I made bacon!

J: Can you sing a song about a doggy?
Me, singing: How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the wiggly tail…
J: No, like Charwotte, with the black eyes and the house and the pumpkin patch.
Me: *still clueless*
Me, 20 minutes later: Charlotte’s Web!

J: When I was a baby like D, I broke something very fwagile.
Me: Oh really?
J: Yeah, it was a very adult cup.
Me: Oh wow. Well I’m sure it’s alright now.
J: Yeah, and when I’m an adult, I could drink a lemon.
Me: Okay…

J spent several minutes drawing eyes and “zipping it”, aka sliding the bar across to erase what he’d drawn. He drew D, and EK, and finally settled on “Mike the Monster who has one eye” (from Monsters Inc.). And then he asked me not to “zip it”. 

EK, at the children’s museum: Daddy! I’m gonna go climb the bean stump!
Whole room: *dies laughing*

Well, I hope you enjoyed our funnies! Have a great week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! These are a few sillies from the time we were together with them this week!

J: I’m hot because of the triangles on my pants. (Points to plaid flannel pajama pants)

J runs up to me and burps.
Me: Ugh.
J: I burped!
Me: Yeah, I smelled it.
J: I burped right in your nose!
EK: I sneezed in Daddy’s ear!
Me: *face palm*

EK: When you were in New York, I miss-ed you guys THIS MUCH! (Reaches her hands “like a tall building”)

EK gets out of bed twice, telling me she has to ask me a question. When I finally get her back in there and hear the question, it’s this: “Why are there stars in the sky?” I’m sorry, I really want to have this conversation but not at bedtime.

Hubby: Did you have fun with your cousins?
EK: I had zero cousins. (Not true.)
J: I had five covens!

J got a monster-looking stuffed animal that his grandmother called a “wild man”. He is now telling everyone that it’s a “wise man”.
He’d make a great Balthazar.

Hubby let me know about this one…
EK: What letter does that start with?
J: D! For dinosaur!
EK: Yeah!
J: And Davis!
EK, quietly: And for Mommy’s word.
J, matching her tone: Yeah: dammit.
Well, at least they’re smart.

EK from the guest room: J! Will you come undo me?
Me: What?
EK: I’m stuck on the bed!
J: Yes! I’ll come get you!
(Apparently this is a game they play that I wasn’t privy to.)

That’s all for this week, since we had three days of being gone. More Christmas funnies next week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hey y’all! Yesterday was my birthday, and so it was full of doing fun things, running around town, and not publishing this post. So sorry it’s late, but here are this week’s funnies!


J’s misnomers:
Guitar pick = corn
Laundry basket=washing bucket

EK: How do you spell candy canes? And cookie! And ginger man bread?

At a restaurant, EK: Mommy, can you sing “Kill the Beast”?
Me: … *look at Hubby*
Hubby: I think she’s talking about him. *points to strapping guy with ponytail*
Ek: He’s REAL! (Gaston, obvi.)

Hubby was still in the bed when J was reaching down in between the bed and the wall. He heard him mumbling about “I’ll get your sister!” and “Almost there! I can almost reach her!” Finally after much struggling, Hubby realized that he had dropped something. He was holding the Christmas dog, but had dropped “his sister” behind the bed and couldn’t get her out. Here are the puppy siblings:

EK, speaking my truth: Jimmy John’s is such a great place. I love it.

EK, pretending to be me: EK! J! D! What’s your name?! (Nailed it.)

J: How do we spell Joseph?
Me: J-o-s-e-p-h.
J: That was really clooooooose!

More Christmas mashups…
Somewhere Over the Reindeer
The Grinch is yucky! A toad! A sock! (Sot, because that word is actually in the song.)

holidays, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! Things are always funny at our house, and so I’ve compiled this week’s quotations and sillies for you. There are even a few Christmas-themed comments (and songs!) as well. Enjoy!

J, at the table: I gotta go pee!
Me: Why don’t you ask Daddy if you can be excused?
J: Daddy, can I pee pee excused?

J made a “necklace” out of these:And then brought me two of the links, saying: Look! I brought two slices of my necklace!

EK at dinner: I dropped my napkin on the floor! I hate napkins.

After several days of begging me to sing Christmas songs as their lullabies…
Me: Want me to sing a Christmas song?
J: Uh, sure. Which one?
Me: Uh, well, I don’t have to.

McDonald (as in the farm): Miss Donald, Mix Donald and uncle of Huey, Dewey, and Louis. I guess it makes sense.

J, in another room: This is not working! This is a sad day for me.

J, randomly melting my heart: Mom, you’re always gonna be my lady.

In the “Monkeys Jumping in the Bed” rhyme, J always says, “…and the mama-doctor said, ‘No more monkeys jumping on my bed!'”

In the sushi restaurant, J listens to the song playing in their house system: This song is called Mulan!

J on Santa: Santa’s waiting for me get RUDE!

At dinner…
J: Everyone take a drink of your water!
Everyone: Okay!
J: One! Two! Three!
Everyone: *drinks*
J: Four! Five! *drinks*

Hubby: Your hair is getting down in your food, babe.
EK: I’ll just put some conditioner in it.

J: What’s that on your shirt, Daddy?
Hubby: Probably whatever D is eating.
Me: I think he means the alligator on your polo.

And a couple of Christmas Carol Mash-Ups:
To the tune of Happy Birthday: Happy merry Christmas, happy merry Christmas! Happy merry Christmas, and a cup of good cheer!
“Away in a manger, the cradle will rock…” or “Away in a manger, lay down his sweet head…” I guess there are a lot of words in that song.
Santa baby, slip a table under the tree…

Do your kids misunderstand the words to songs? Especially Christmas songs?

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I hope you guys had a nice time getting back to the real world this week. I know it’s been hard for me to find my productivity! It’s getting harder and harder to write things down as the kids say them – they’re so often in the middle of conversations or at a moment that it’s tough to write a note about how funny they are! But here are some funnies I did manage to write down. Enjoy!

J, literally all the time, with perfect inflection: Honey! Where’s my super suit?! (Quoting Frozone/Lucius from The Incredibles)

EK: Look, Mom! Matcheration! (Pointing to the photo below, meaning some sort of cross between matching and organization)

J, at 7:00am: IIIIII waaaant myyyyyy giiiiiingiiiiiin aaaaaale! (Odd time for ginger ale, I think.)

EK and J, angry screaming at each other across the house on Thanksgiving morning: “I’m thankful for you!” and “I’m thankful for you, too!”

EK, about our friends’ chocolate lab: Bella’s a good-looking dog, but man, is she big!

EK, doing something with Necie: G-Daddy! Will you come help your number one girl and your wife?!?!

EK: That’s canfastic! (Fantastic, I think.)

EK and J were practicing clearing their throats. J was clearing his with his mouth closed (hrm hrm, if I had to write it down) and EK was clearing hers with her mouth open (ahem). She kept saying, “No! That’s not they way!” until he did it with his mouth closed, and was able to make the ahem sound. Then she said, “Yeah! That’s the way!”

Me, conversationally, to Hubby: EK is really good at learning songs and lyrics.
EK: You’re still a teacher for me, Mom.
Me: *teacher heart melting*actual tears*

EK, early in the day: Mom, can I wear some of your lip gloss?
Me: This is actually lip stain and stays on for a long time, so I’ll get you some lip gloss.
J, later in the day: Mom, your lipstick looks good!
EK: It’s lip stain.
J: No it’s not! It’s lipstick!
Ek: It’s LIP STAIN!

A friend of ours at church was horsing around with EK, and said, in a fake mean voice, “What if I said you had to sit right here and be quiet?!” (EK knows he’s kidding, by the way.) J (who apparently didn’t know he was kidding) runs up, hits him on the back, and shouts, “Don’t talk to my sister like that!” (Sibling win.)

In the Starbucks drive-thru, J: We’re at Chickalay, Mom!
Me: We must go to Chick-fil-A a lot.

Hope you enjoyed these highlights! Do your kids argue about random stuff, too? PLEASE make me feel better, ha!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying a last day or two of prep for the biggest meal of the year! Here are a few funnies from my family this week…

EK, randomly: A school bus fell on my lip!

At dinner, J says to me: I put snot on you.

After J kicked his brother, I told him to say he wouldn’t kick his brother anymore.
He said: I won’t kick any more brothers.

J: Know what I wanna be for Halloween? A sea diber.
Me: A sea diver? Cool!
J: Yeah! With a mask and a lid on my mouth and one of those things you swim in.

J: You know what I want for merry Christmas? A crane. For snow.

After a fun evening out of town, we were getting ready to go home…
J: I don’t wanna go home! I wanna stay here!
Hubby: Well, you can stay here in the parking lot.
J: Well… is my family coming, too?

J was drinking out of this cup:And then he asked the question: Where is the blue sipper thing that you sip the beer out of?
I wasn’t sure how to respond.

EK to G-Daddy: Squish me as much as you miss-ed me!

Hubby and I were working out and talking about squats. J then exclaimed: I’m gonna do ten squashes!

J, when first waking up: You know why I love everybody? Because I’m so happy.

J has a kids’ Camelbak cup. The rubber spout pops into a closed and locked position, just like the regular Camelbaks do, except it’s so tight that he often has trouble getting it back open. One day, he literally threw a tantrum about his inability to get it open. I saw that he was using his index finger, so I said, “Why don’t you try using your thumb instead? Our thumbs are really strong.” He tried it, and of course it worked. So now, every time he opens his spout, he says, “Mom! I used my thumb! Thumbs are REALLY STRONG!”

Well, are your kids excited for Thanksgiving? I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I hope you’ve gotten out there to vote! If not, there are a few hours left. The kids were really sad that I didn’t take them along with me, because they were very curious. But I also could not see waiting in a long line with a couple of rambunctious toddlers. Next year, maybe.

Anyway, here are the funnies! Enjoy a little lift in an otherwise serious day.
Me, waking J up from a long nap: *snuggle*kiss*cuddle*
J: *big yawns*
Me: You’re the cutest.
J, whispering: Get out of my bed.

On a walk with the kids in two strollers…
Me: Slow down! This is not a race.
EK: Yes it is! Run, Daddy! Run!

On the same walk, passing a family of six…
EK: That was a big family!
Me: They only had one more person than us!

EK, randomly: I texted Samuel from your phone.
Me: Oh, uh, okay…

Classic…
EK: For dinner, I want a hamburger and French fries and ketchup.
J: I want a hamburger and French fries and butter and ANOTHER HAMBURGER!

EK, randomly: Can I take a boat ride and get pregnant?
Me: Wait, what?

We are often trying to make D walk nowadays (he’s stubbornly crawling still) and every time we do it, J follows up with: Hey! Let’s see if J could walk!!

Current Misnomers:
Library=live-bary
Plasma car (a neat ride-on toy we have)=jasmine car
Remote=Bamote

After J was singing his own mash-up of “Twinkle Twinkle” and “ABC” and semi-playing it on the piano…
Me: That was great, bud! You’re so talented!
J: I’m so tired of songs. (Gets up and walks away.)
Me: Okay…

J, just before his nap: I can’t wait for Christmas, Mommy.
Me: Why is that, sweetie?
J: I can’t wait for Christmas and when the snow comes while the sun is down.
(Poor kid doesn’t realize we don’t really have white Christmases in this state.)

Things my kids pretended a large cardboard box was: house, boat, closet, and the ultimate hiding place. For DAYS.

Me: I was thinking we could have Italian for dinner.
J: That sounds ablicious!

Every single morning… Already…
J: IS IT CHRISTMAS?!
Me: Is the tree up?
J: No.
Me: Then not yet.

Well, there are the funnies. Are your kiddos excited about Christmas? Are they already begging to do all the Christmas things?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! In keeping with our Tuesday tradition, here are our recent funnies! I hope you enjoy their crazy thoughts!

 Heard in the back seat…

EK: Put the icing in the cookie! You mean on the cookie? No! In the cookie! Ahhhh!

At the gas pump…
EK: Mom! I’m watching for the numbers to stop!
J: And I’m watching for a stop sign!

J, randomly: FLY IN THE HOUSE! FLY IN THE HOUSE!

EK hands me a bunny I had when I was growing up: Look what I bought for you, Mommy!
Me: Um, no.

Necie invited EK to spend the night with her…
EK: I packed for like ten days. And on the seventh day, you will bring me home safely.

EK and Necie drawing lady bugs…
EK: I’ll make Daddy’s in boy colors. 

EK, to the tune of “Happy Birthday”: Happy Halloween to you! Happy Halloween to you! Happy Halloween, all the womans! Happy Halloween, Je-sus!”

Driving past a bulldozer…
EK: J, look out your window! You love those, huh?

Listening to my set list for church while we’re in the car…
J: Mommy! I hear you in the radio!
EK: Yeah, there are two of you in the car!

J, saying our prayers: pray for Wesley and Holly and our cousins. And I want to get in a helicopter and go to Taiwan and see them.
Me: Me too, buddy.

EK and J having a tea party with a stuffed animal…
EK: Mom! We got a serious problem over here!
Me: What’s going on?
EK: This man can’t walk! (Pointing to stuffed animal.)
Me: Oh no! Are his legs broken?
EK: Just this one.
Me: Should we try to find him a wheelchair?
EK: Nah, I’m just gonna fix it.

EK: Do you have Miss Crystal’s number? (Her teacher)
Me: No, but I have her email address so I could send her a message.
EK: Oh. I think it’s 851, but I’ll ask her tomorrow at school.

Well, hope you enjoyed this week’s edition of Things Toddlers Say! Check back every Tuesday for more funnies!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! It’s been busy around here (more on that later!) so I’ve only just realized it’s actually Tuesday. Enjoy these funnies!

 J: You know what was on the tv?

Me: What?
J: A fairy ghost car!

Hubby: We’re going to Jimmy John’s for lunch!
EK: Where does he live?
J: Is that his name?

J: Mama, you know what I’m gonna do with my lunch?
Me: What?
J: I’m gonna eat it all!
Me: Great!
J: Yummmmm.

J, getting in my bed at the crack: There’s no room for me!
Sorry kid, it’s actually my bed.

Bedtime stalling techniques…
J: Is there a baby in your tummy?
Me: Nope, just the food I ate.
J: So squishy!
Me: Well thanks.
J: Can I see how soft your eyebrows are?
Me: I guess so.
J: So soft! And your earrings are so pretty! Tomorrow when the sun comes up I can play with them?
Me: Uh, yeah, good night.

EK, above: Mom! I can feel my forehead!

Me: Are you going to take one more big bite?
Ek: I’m gonna take the biggest bite! Biggest than Jesus!
Me: Okay…

Me: How’d you get so big?
EK: Because we went to lunch together!

J, when he woke from a long nap: You know why I’m cold? Cause it’s windy outside.

At bedtime…
J: Your earrings are bally, I guess.
Me: What?
J: Your earrings are bally.
Me: What do you mean?
J, flicks one earring: They’re balls. And silver. Can I wear one?
Me: Oh. And, uh, maybe tomorrow. (And then I run away laugh-crying.)

Eating a salad…
J: A cucumber fell into my mouth!
EK: Look, a green bracelet! (Green pepper ring)
J: And a purple necklace! (Purple onion ring)

Telling me about the babysitter…
J: She was nice. I liked her. I was not rude to she. I was only nice to she. So she was not rude.
Me: Well I guess that’s good!

EK: Daddy, I’m sorry J pooped on your bed while he was naked.
Everyone: What?!
(Rest assured- that didn’t actually happen.)

J: Do you know what I’m gonna be on Halloween?
EK: No noggin!
J: Don’t say no noggin!
Me: What are you gonna be, babe?
J: No noggin!!!!!
(If you’ve not watched Curious George’s Boo Fest, that’s what it’s from. It’s on Netflix!)

At breakfast…
EK: You know the the boys could be when they grow up? J could be a daddy and D could be a grandfather!
J: I actually want to be a pirate daddy. You could be a pirate mommy!
EK: I don’t WANT to be a pirate mommy!
Me: Seems legit.

What silly things are you kids saying these days?

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hey y’all! I almost forgot it was Tuesday! Here are the things from the week that were a little humorous… Enjoy!

Talking about being outside…
Me: …and I think Daddy wants to blow the leaves, too.
EK: I want the leaves to stay where they are, because it’s fall!

Talking about someone saying something mean to EK at school…
Me: You know what? Sometimes people say mean things. I don’t know that boy, so I can’t really make him stop. But you can tell him the truth, and that he’s wrong, and walk away.
J: I can make him stop! I can do this thing! I will make him stop and get my light savers (sabers, obvi) and make him stop!
Me: 😍

J’s preschool teacher told me this: J is very smart. He is able to remember details from the stories we read the next day. Although, when we read about Noah, I asked the children, “What did God put up in the sky after the flood?” And J kept saying, “Duck!”

Peekaboo champion…
J: Here, D. I got your bee swaddle! Zzzzzzz…. (He puts it on D’s head.) Look, Mom! Where did D go?!

G-Daddy to EK: You have your shoes on the wrong feet.
EK, crossing her ankles: Now they’re on the right feet.

J: Mom! Look what I picked!
Me: A booger?
J: Yeah!

EK: I want Cinderella’s pink dress.
Me: But Cinderella doesn’t wear a pink dress.
EK: Yeah she does. She has one from her mice.
Me: Touché.

J, holding out his hand: I catched it!
Me: Caught what?
J: My spit!

Twenty-first century kids…
EK: I want to hear the train song.
J: We can’t pull it up.

Bee stings from two weeks ago…
EK: When we get home, I would like a little ice for my stung. It was a couple weeks ago but it’s still there and it’s still hurting. That night when our friends were here? It’s still a sting and it hurts.

Some tidbits from a ride home one evening…
J: I could see some lights that I could see!
EK: And I see some trees!
J: I see some broccolis, mama!
EK: Um, um, um, um, um… how many times did I say um, mom?!
J: I’m still hungry. How much am I hungry, mom?
EK: When will I be home?
All in the same convo.

After we put the kids to bed, and we’re getting to bed ourselves, J comes up, asking for extra snuggles. Hubby and I hop on the bed for a couple of minutes of snuggling. After a sweet 30 seconds, J exclaims, “Somebody stinks.” and hops off the bed. Um, goodnight?

What are your kids talking about? Are they as random as mine?