Tag Archives: toddlers

I Want My Daddy!

December 8, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

*This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com*

Toddlers can sometimes do things that… get under your skin.

I know. Big surprise, right? At two and a half, my daughter is a whirlwind, and I love it. She’s inquisitive, musical, busy, smart, and a hundred other things at any given moment. But recently, she’s got this thing she says that for some reason affects my heart differently 8than anything else she says. Those words are simple, and repeated often, but they tug at me every time. “I want my Daddy.”

Sometimes, this sentence comes at a time when she’s tired, and knows her Daddy is the best snuggler. Sometimes, this sentence is thrown in my face because I’ve told her not to push her brother. Other times, it’s cried out because he’s working and she misses him in a random moment. But each time I hear it, I’ve got mixed feelings. At first, I think, “It’s so sweet that she loves her Daddy so much!” I mean, #agirlandherdad am I right?

But after hearing it a lot, repeatedly, especially when I am right there to snuggle or help or kiss booboos or whatever it is she needs, I can feel the thoughts creeping into my mind… “Am I not good enough? Why doesn’t she want me? Does she not love me as much as she loves her Daddy?”

Seriously, Whitney? Get a grip. She’s two.

But still… my deepest fears and insecurities could be realized in that one sentence. I want my Daddy… for a thousand reasons you don’t want to hear.

I just have to remember that she does love me, and she does need me, too. There are things I do better than Daddy, and times that as a girl, and a woman, she will need her mother. And upon mentioning these thoughts and fears to Hubby, the filled me in that when I’m not there, she does also say, “I want my Mommy!” So there is a little grace in there for a mama who loves a baby girl, and wants to be loved back.

Holiday Confusion. That's a wreath, not a flotation device. — Holiday Confusion. That’s a wreath, not a flotation device.

mommyhood, parenting fails

Parenting Fail #87621: The Public Poopers

November 15, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Yep, it’s that time again. Time for another parenting fail. Although it may not be as much of a fail as a “Oh my gosh did that actually happen?!”

I’ll set up the week for you – normally, my kids have (for months) pooped once a day, right when they get up in the morning. One morning this week, they had BOTH, within sheer minutes of each other, had the sort of poop where you throw away the pajamas and put them straight into the bathtub. Yes, I literally threw away both sets of pajamas that same morning because it was easier than cleaning it out. But after that day, it seemed that they were pooping – imagine me saying this out loud in my best accent – ALL. DAY. E’RY. DAY. My best friend suggested maybe they’re eating too much fruit and getting too much fiber. I say, eh, they’ve always eaten a ton of fruit. Who knows.

So anyway, both kids are basically to the point in their lives that I don’t keep extra changes of clothes for them. When they’re newborns and spitting up and pooping that liquid poop, you sorta have to. But at this point, EK isn’t wearing panties yet, still in Pull-Ups, so no worries there, and J’s biggest problem is his knees are always dirty. Who cares about that, right? So that being said, by some freak (beautiful) accident, I had an extra pair of pants in the diaper bag when we went out to dinner last night with a couple of friends.

Blurry and devious J and Lauren. He’s thinking about what’s gonna happen in a minute…

Blurry but adorable EK and Aida! This was pre-potty problems.

The kids, y’all, were angels. This place is pretty casual (it’s called The Porch Kitchen and Cantina… Tex-Mex, order at the counter, loud and bustling. We love it.) so the kids could make a little noise and no one was bothered. They ate really well, and were patient while we ate (which rarely happens, am I right?) so I’m thinking we’ve just had the perfect evening. Well, EK asks to go potty, so my friend Aida volunteers to take her. A few minutes after they left, J is squirming pretty awfully so I pull him out of the highchair and notice that he is stinky. So naturally I grab a diaper and wipes, and head to the bathroom. When I get there, Aida says, “Oh thank you! I didn’t know how to get help!” EK is on the changing table, no diaper, with poop on her legs. (Let’s all say a nice, “Poor Aida!”) Apparently, she had pooped a little in the potty – accidentally, of course – and it startled her, so she asked to get off the potty, and then did the rest in her Pull-Up. Then Aida didn’t have a new diaper or wipes to clean her up with. So I hand J to A, clean EK up and put her in the new diaper (the only diaper I had brought).

I take off J’s pants and realize the amount of poop he had was no joke. It’s on his clothes, shirt and pants. I send Aida for new clothes and a fresh diaper, and try to attack his mess. I literally think that I used most of the wipes cleaning up either J or the diaper station. (Yes I cleaned it up. No, you don’t have to worry about there being poop all over and it getting on your kid the next time you eat lunch there.) Aida comes back with the pants that were magically still in my bag, and his coat. Sorry, J, no shirt.

So he’s clean. EK is clean. I get back to the table, and the Hubby of the year looks at me and says, “Do you want me to take the kids home, and you girls can stay out and have a drink?”

Yes, Hubby. A thousand times yes.

home, mommyhood

Currently

November 10, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

New edition of Currently, linking up with Hannah at Joyful Life and other stupendous bloggers that I love. It’s all about sharing life and building community. Check it out and join us!

T H I N K I N G A B O U T || My weekend. Hubby was out of town in NYC this past weekend, and I was a temporarily single mom. I survived and thrived a little better than I expected. Honestly, I figured I’d drown in the household chores and baby stuff and only barely keep my kids alive. Hubby and I often have a good cop/bad cop thing going on (if you’re wondering who the bad cop is, you’re looking at her) and I was afraid I would be too much bad cop. But I was alright playing both roles for the weekend!

L O V I N G || Great conversations I’ve been having with friends from church. There are so many inspiring people that I get to be with on a weekly (and more often than that) basis. One of these great times was yesterday… I blogged about it here.

T H A N K F U L F O R || Sweet friends and family. While Hubby was gone this weekend, we had a couple of friends who helped feed us and in-laws who pitched in to keep the kids while I was at church for my normal Sunday marathon, and it was the biggest help. J is usually napping during church time, and so he’s in a phase of hating the nursery. It’s too loud for him to sleep, but he’s super cranky when he doesn’t get to. Thankfully he sleeps just fine at his grandparents’!

L E A R N I N G || I’m constantly learning this, and I’ve written about it before (here and here, for example), but each day it’s more true… I’m learning patience. It’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever learned, which must be why it’s taking so long. Breaking generational curses and trying to be slow to anger, quick to love can sometimes be difficult and exhausting. It can also be extremely rewarding. That must be why I’m still doing it!

H O P I N G || I am truly hoping that the next two months are filled with joy and family and fun, and not stressful and too busy. I like being busy with fun things during the holidays, but I also know that sometimes busy can be a curse, too. So here’s hoping that we aren’t overly committed, but that we have just the right amount of cooking and shopping and partying and giving.

mommyhood

10 Cute Things My Toddler Does

November 5, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Now that EK’s communication is skyrocketing every. single. day. there are some cute things and some hilarious things we hear coming out of her mouth. Here are a few of them!

1. “God loves me! God loves you!”
This one happened having lunch on Sunday after church (and at least once every day since then). She’s getting some good takeaway on Sundays!

2. Whenever we get in the car, she shouts, “Wanna sing ‘No Bath Today’!”
In my car, I have a cd of songs recorded by Hubby’s cousins when they were kids (The Tune Mammals – I know, right?!), including a song titled “No Bath Today”. That one is obviously her favorite.

3. She needs a “huh and kiss” any time someone leaves the house.
This is a personal favorite. If I put on my coat, or pick up my keys, she comes running, yelling for a “huh and kiss” before I leave. I die every time.

4. She feels the need to “pat the… everything”.
Just today, I noticed that EK wanted to “pat Mommy” and “pat the baby” and “pat Annie”. I’m attributing this to her love of Pat the Bunny unless anyone else has an idea?

5. She wants to eat whatever J is eating. (And vice versa.)
I haven’t decided if this is a blessing or a curse. She literally wants to take whatever he’s working on and put it in her mouth. And he yanks the food out of whoever’s hand is closest. At least no one will go hungry?

6. She wants to do it herself.
This is usually cute, except when it’s making us late. Our lives are full of “El Kate do it!” *wait three seconds* “I need hep!”

7. Something small is a “baby” something.
Includes carrots, grapes, trees, flowers, animals, toys, balls, sticks, you get the idea.

8. She always closes the lid.
J has a certain affinity for playing in the toilet, so whenever EK uses the potty or happens to be in the bathroom, she closes the toilet lid and says, “No, no, Joe-Joe.” I can’t imagine where she heard that.

9. Silly, Ella Kate.
When she’s doing something she knows she shouldn’t be doing, even if I’m watching, and even if I’ve just told her to stop, she smiles and says, “Silly, El Kate!” as if that will pardon her misdemeanor.

10. She likes working out.
When I’m doing yoga, or doing a workout in the basement, she loves to do everything I’m doing. She is especially good at push-ups and downward-facing dog.

Does anyone else have a toddler with hilarious tendencies?

faith, food, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Mountains or Molehills?

November 3, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I seriously love my family. Hubby and I have the best families on the planet. I’m sure yours is great, but… mine’s better.

Today, my sisters-in-law and I met our mother-in-law to plan out the holidays, everyone’s travel plans, and some dates we will all be together. Not only did we have a fun time at lunch, but decided to go shopping together! We then had so much fun shopping that when we needed to head home, we did so with the idea we’d get the brothers and our kids to have dinner together! So we packed up our families and met for dinner. Six adults, a toddler and three babies. It was a lot. We ate a lot. We spilled a lot. We laughed a lot. It was just a lot.

I had a choice at dinner tonight. I could have been stressed about the fact that in the first ten minutes, water, wine and green beans were all spilled. I could have been annoyed that J would only eat if he was sitting in my lap (aka if I was unable to eat). I could have been frustrated that right when I was able to eat a few bites, EK needed to go potty. But in fact, I chose fun. It was fun to pass the kids around the table, help ourselves to everyone else’s food, and make a big mess (for which we tipped generously, promise). I chose to be excited that my daughter told me she needed to go potty instead of peeing in her diaper! That was a miracle in itself!

When you have a choice between being frustrated, and giving in to the situation and making the best of it, making the right choice can be tough. I’m a high-strung person by nature (sorry, everyone) so I can make big deals out of basically anything. But it’s my constant goal – and sometimes struggle – to “Let It Go” (forgive the reference). I need lots of reminders, and I ask for a lot of help. My family bears with me in the midst of my sometimes-OCD. But I like myself more, and I’m sure everyone else does, too, if I can give in to the crazy and fun, instead of making a mountain out of a molehill.

faith, mommyhood

I have a quick temper.

October 30, 2014 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

I’ve been trying to be a better mommy to my two year old. We work on sharing, letters and numbers, using the potty, and being nice to others (including me). But sometimes, she’s a drama queen. Sometimes, she can be manipulating. I know- that sounds crazy to have a manipulating two year old, but it’s the truth. She knows how to get what she wants from me and from daddy. And that frustrates me. She’s so smart and great at communicating and behaves so well! So when she’s upset or hurt or frustrated and can’t tell me, she just starts doing weird stuff. I don’t know why, so I tell her to stop. She cries. I get frustrated. She cries more, then I cry. Sometimes it’s a nasty situation in a short number of minutes.

I was talking through this with Hubby’s mom, and she totally commiserated. She also gave me some advice. My frustration has a root somewhere deeper. It could be jealousy (“I want my Daddy!” when she’s with me and not him) or perfectionism (she isn’t perfect, however totally awesome she might be most of the time). It could be that I’m too quick-tempered (I know already that I am). It could be a plethora of extenuating circumstances that have stressed me out and out me on edge before EK has even entered the picture.

There is an element of a generational curse that I am trying not to inherit. I have a quick temper, like my parents before me. I know for a fact that I cannot overcome it myself – I need God’s help to get past it and relax and move on. Hubby’s mom gave me four R’s to help remember a good process to squelch that temper as it comes on…

Recognize it as sin.

Repent and ask for forgiveness.

Receive the forgiveness. Not just ask for it. Fully receive it.

Take responsibility for it, and be able to call it down.

Then, the next time the quick temper bubbles up in me, I can go through the steps more quickly. I can recognize it before it actually happens, repent, receive forgiveness, and take the responsibility for it. Then it’s easier to move on, without the temper (and the words/actions that would follow). Praise Jesus for the opportunity to lay our sins at his feet, and have them washed away!

Do you have a vice that just keeps pecking away at you, no matter how much you try to control it? What do you do to get past it?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

The Great Pumpkin Patch Meltdown

October 20, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I had a grand idea. It was to get Hubby and our kids, Hubby’s brothers, their wives and their kids all together for a photo shoot. It’s fall, so we figured a local pumpkin patch was the best place to do it. We planned our outfits, picked a time that worked around everyone’s naps, and planned our weekend around it. J can sometimes have a super long morning nap, so I ended up having to wake him up to get him ready to go. I was a little worried whether or not he’d let go of me and hang out with the other kids so we could get some good pictures.

Little did I know, he wasn’t the one I needed to worry about.

EK had had a totally normal morning, and right when we got to the pumpkin patch, she was really sweet on all the littler babies. But then, we decided we wanted to put the babies in a wagon (this place had those red Radio Flyers you could put the pumpkins in to take them to the car) and have EK pull it. But it was tougher than it looked (when it was full of pumpkins and babies), so I tried to help her a little.

Note: She didn’t want the help. Cue the biggest “terrible two” meltdown I’ve ever seen.

This was a lay-on-the-ground, scream-at-the-top-of-her-lungs sort of tantrum. My even-tempered child turned into an angry monster over whom I had no control. No one could do anything, so we all stood around, a little nervously, and try to pretend no one noticed the tantruming toddler.

Hubby’s mom finally picked her up and took her to get a snow cone from the stand nearby (because it’s okay when grandmas do that) so that we could try to continue taking photos. But as soon as snow cone time was over, it was meltdown #2. Or maybe the meltdown had only paused. Either way, the cute photos of my daughter were pretty much over.

What does a mama do in that situation? Wait it out. In a public place, surrounded by family and strangers alike, I just had to let it run its course. Thankfully, everyone was gracious and turned a blind eye to the ground-shaking sounds erupting from the small body. It was her first real tantrum, and we haven’t had another one since. Here’s to praying that it was a one-time fluke… right?

The mischievous face of my darling two-year-old, pre-meltdown. I think she was plotting all along. — The mischievous face of my darling daughter, pre-meltdown. I think she was plotting all along.

mommyhood

Potty Training Update

October 18, 2014 Only Hsuman 3 Comments

Here’s a TMI post for you if I’ve ever written one…

Our potty training has been extremely lax. Our philosophy has been that when EK is ready, she will start making moves. So we bought a little potty, put her on it a couple of times each day, asked her several more times a day if she’d like to use it (usually receiving a “no” for a while), and otherwise let her tell us how interested she was – or wasn’t. She’s just now two and a half, so I haven’t been terribly worried about it, especially because in the past month or so she’s been doing a GREAT job.

((Side story: Hubby and I traveled with the kids to GA for my high school reunion. On the way back to NC, we were, uh, really tired, from the party the night before, so we just put the kids in the car in their pajamas, and hit the road. We stopped at a Subway for lunch and hydration and rest, and EK decided that she HAD to use the potty. At Subway. Gross. And guess what she was wearing? One piece zip-up pajamas. So I’m in the Subway bathroom, exhausted but giving my A+ parenting game, stripping my daughter to her skin to hold her over the toilet seat, that I’ve completely covered with toilet paper but I’m still not letting her touch. After she has successfully done her business, I’m trying to get her back in her (dry!) diaper and zip-up pajamas with no changing table… aka standing up… without letting anything touch the floor. Blerg. That was a long ten minutes. Now back to regularly scheduled posting.))

She’s started mentioning using the potty more, so we’ve started asking her a lot more often, and it’s been working! We keep a dry diaper a lot of the day, and use the potty several times, so we’re feeling great. On Thursday, she even (wait for it…) POOPED in the potty! And even my limited potty training experience tells me that’s a milestone!

Funny little thing about the past two weeks… EK has decided she no longer wants to use the little training potty. She only wants to sit on an actual toilet. Okay, great. Except she can’t really keep herself from falling in all that well. It takes a little more help from whoever is with her. But it’s pretty cute to see how proud of herself she is when she’s tinkling in “Mommy’s potty”. We’ve been rewarding her with a couple of jelly beans each time, so she’s extra excited to get those!

So now we’re to the point that we need to really buckle down and get her from using the potty most of the time to all the time. We just bought some Pull-Ups, so that should help. What are you suggestions for completing the process? And then, how do we wean her off the jellybeans?!

mommyhood, siblings

I hope they are friends.

October 3, 2014 Only Hsuman 1 Comment

There are so many directions I could go when I talk about siblings, but I’ll start here: I’m already worried my kids won’t get along.

Actually, let’s not say worried so much as it’s already on my mind. What’s the key to your kids getting along? I know from experience it doesn’t just happen. Here’s the short version of my relationship with my brother: We’re almost 7 years apart, so I remember being an only child. He was cute as a baby, but started bugging me about the time he learned to walk (he followed me around because I was his favorite), and then didn’t stop it for… a long time. We were never in the same stage of life until he was in high school or so. Now that we are both adults, we get along much better, but still argue over stupid stuff sometimes – you know, like who knows more Harry Potter trivia and why it think it’s ridiculous that he would want a CAT of all things. I talk to him on the phone every few days, see him every couple of months, and truly enjoy his company. But did our parents somehow pull us out of the stage in which we just annoyed each other and magically thrust us into mutual appreciation of the other?

On the other hand, Hubby and his brothers have always been close. He says they fought about stuff, but it was only for a few minutes and they would be back to playing and snuggling again (thoughts on those Hsu boys acting like puppies here).

As for my kids, it seems that right now is the stage of J annoying EK ALL OF THE TIME. All he wants to do is be near her, play alongside her, or just watch her. Too bad all of those things make her unnecessarily frustrated. She gets to the point that if he crawls in her direction, she just screams. What is that about?! It just hurts my ears and makes J laugh all the more.

All I did was ask her to sit next to him for a picture.

I hope that soon, J will catch up a little and be able to play with EK rather than just grab what she’s holding. I hope she will learn to think he’s cute and fun instead of just being jealous and annoyed when he’s in the same room. I hope the moments of giggles about weird sounds they make and laughing about messes during dinner never stop. I hope they are close when they get in school, and share friends, and help each other out. I hope they have that undeniable bond of love and support, even when they disagree with each other. I hope they can encourage each other to be better people. I hope they are friends.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

She Loves You (Yeah Yeah Yeah!)

September 22, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

With kids, everything happens in stages. Stages of waking up every few hours, and stages of sleeping through the night. Stages of independence, and stages of debilitating neediness. Stages of picky eating, and stages of so hungry they’ll eat sidewalk chalk after a three course meal. These stages – seasons, I like to call them – go by alarmingly fast sometimes.

Recently EK has entered into a season of snuggling, hugging and kissing. Voluntarily showing love, basically. It’s particularly merciful because this season is on the heels of a difficult season of not wanting to sit still enough to snuggle, yet screaming and crying if we left her for even a moment. But she has (for the time being) moved on to confidently knowing we’ll come back, and giving us smooches for the road.

For instance, the other evening I was leaving to go to a birthday party, and left the kids with a friend. When I announced that I was leaving, told her I loved her, and turned toward the door, she ran over to me saying, “Hug! Hug!” So of course I picked her up, and she said, “Bye bye mama. I miss you.” Talk about melting a mama’s heart. I mean, seriously… when I pick her up to hug her these days, she snuggles my neck, pats my back and strokes my hair! It’s truly a Pat yourself on the back, you good parent, you! sort of thing. The gestures of love she’s received from Hubby and me are being given back to us. She has so internalized our love and the way we show it that she is giving that love back out.

What if we, as children of God, took the gestures of love shown to us by the Father, and gave it back to Him? Or better yet, passed it on to others? The Heavenly Father gave up his only son for you. And me. And our families. And old folks in nursing homes. And inner city children. And celebrities. And sleazy politicians. And murderers and thieves. He loves us (all of us!) that much. As much as I love my children (a ludicrous amount), it’s only a fraction of the love God has for me. If we take even a portion of the love and blessing we’ve received from the Father, and multiply it by passing it on? That’s Kingdom business.

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