Last night, it happened. Instead of wanting a snuggle and a song tonight, J just wanted to go to bed.

I wasn’t ready for this. He’s my baby! My little tiny boy, who loves snuggles and kisses and resting his head on mama’s chest while she sings!

Granted, he was totally pooped. We had had dinner at our friends’ house, where he also jumped on the trampoline and chased the dog all night. He was more exhausted than normal at bedtime. He even ran amok around the basement right up until the moment I scooped him up and went into his dark bedroom. When I leaned over the crib to get his swaddle, he just sort of lurched forward into the crib – to be honest, I almost lost my hold on him and dropped him in there for real. He just reached down in there, and so I said, “Do you want to just lay down?” and he answered in his little “yes” grunts.

Breaking a mama’s heart.

After I read and sang to EK (at least someone needs it!) I texted my friend Ginna (whose house we had been at), and told her about it. Her response? Yay for another little one on the way, and I will get snuggles for months. That’s a good friend with the perfect reminder! But still… here’s hoping that it was just a fluke, and he’ll still need some snuggles tonight. I’m not ready for my baby to be a big boy.