Because I’m in the hospital with my brand new, sweet, second son (Baby D says, “Hey there!”) here’s one I wrote a little while ago!
I can be one of two things when it comes to leaving my kiddos with someone… I can be a micro-managing crazy person with a list of a hundred guidelines (read: requirements) or I can just be the trusting mom who says, “Have fun!”
My slightly-OCD tendency is to overdo it. I get worked up, setting out pajamas and sippy cups (already put together, because no babysitter ever knows how to figure that mess out) and favorite blankets. I want to write where every single item in the house can be found, a list of healthy, mom-approved foods that I know my kids will eat (and when they’re allowed to eat them), how to work the TV so that they can watch an allotted 22-minute educational show, and a detailed bedtime routine that must be strictly followed. I want to leave numbers for the closest ten people, and I want to check my phone every two minutes while I’m gone.
But let’s be honest: would that be a nice outing for me? Probably not. I’d be miserable, wondering whether or not everyone kept to my schedule, and looking at my phone every two minutes is just rude, whether I’m out with the girls or with Hubby.
The alternative to this, for me, is the opposite end of the spectrum. I just say, “Bye!” and leave it in the probably-capable hands of my babysitter. They’ll call if they need anything, right? It’s just about relinquishing my control into someone else’s hands, and in the case of my children, it’s tough.
I remember that on my 3 year old’s first day of preschool, I was so nervous. She was crying when we left (Doesn’t every kid cry on their first day of leaving Mom and Dad? No? Just tell me they do.) and I was worried all morning that there would be some need that she’d have that they wouldn’t notice, or couldn’t help her with. Not that I had chosen a preschool that I wasn’t comfortable with or anything like that. I just felt like Mama knows best, ya know?
But now that I’m pregnant with my third, I’ve become a little less crazed about it. When I take my daughter to school, I make sure her bags are packed with everything she could possibly need (yeah, I still do it) and I hug her, kiss her, and run out. I’m a little more confident. I don’t write a big list for a babysitter, either. I offer some tips on getting them to eat dinner (It’s all about options!) or to make bedtime go more smoothly (Don’t try to do it too early!), but then I kiss those tiny angels, apply my lip gloss, and get the hell outta dodge. I mean, Mama needs a night out, right? (Side note: I am guilty of often hiring a babysitter after my kids bedtime, so that there are no transitional issues. My 1 1:2 year old sometimes tries to squeeze out the door with me, or I can hear him hollering as I get in the car. Breaks a mama’s heart, so I avoid it where I can.)
Letting go is hard, no matter what the situation, how long you might be letting go for, and into whose hands your leaving the precious ones. How do you cope deal prepare to leave your kiddos with someone else?
Congratulations on little Davis! I hope this means that it was a safe arrival and everyone is doing well!
I too am a big fan of leaving after Little C’s bedtime. I’m going to be a mess leaving her at “daycare” (aka my parents house) in a few weeks. I’ll be alternating between leaving very precise details (because she’s my baby!) and leaving without any instruction (I mean, they raised me and I turned out… well… decently enough!).
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Thank you! His arrival was unexpected and quick, and we’re both doing great! Leaving my kids with their grandparents (either set) is always less stressful… You’re right about the fact that I figure they did a pretty good job with us, so…? Haha!
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