Category Archives: faith

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, siblings

Your First Child… and Your Second

February 2, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

People tell you things about your second child. He will go with the flow, they said. He will have to, they said. Your second is always more easy-going, right?

Wrong. In my case, dead wrong.

Our oldest child is very go-with-the-flow. She loves running errands, having play dates, and being out of the house. She loves going out to dinner, meeting new people, taking a nap whenever, staying up late, and generally having a full schedule. I mean, she does really well entertaining herself at home, but she’s also great at all-around keeping herself occupied wherever we are.

Our second child is the opposite. He’s a homebody. He likes nothing better than to be at home, with his toys, nap on his own (different-every-day) schedule, eat at our own dining room table, and go to bed over an hour earlier than EK. This, as you might imagine, can cramp our style. Specifically, it cramps my playdates-and-meals-at-restaurants style. He often naps through the lunch hour. My lunch dates will have to wait. Playing in the playplace at Chick-Fil-A? No way. Morning playdates while EK is in preschool? You must be joking. And put him in the nursery at church with babies he knows and parent volunteers he knows? ALL BETS ARE OFF.

But which kid is right? Which one has the “better” idea of what’s going on? Neither. They’re both great. I love taking EK with me when I go to Target and Costco and the grocery store, because she loves being out and about. Talk about a girl making my busybody, stir-crazy-at-home-all-day heart happy! Equally, I love my at-home cuddles with J, watching a movie or snacking on fruit at the kitchen table, instead of going out to lunch with friends. I even (usually, anyway) think it’s amusing to go behind him and right all the upturned objects he’s hit with the Swiffer he nabbed, and pick up the food crumbs he’s dropped off his pants as he walked away from the table.

Both my kids are awesome. God has given them totally different personalities, and it’s my joy (and yes, occasional frustration) as their mom to get to know them, even as they change every single day. I can already enjoy special moments with each of them separately, doing things that they enjoy. I love knowing them, and knowing that they’re different.

faith, mommyhood

Being Intentional vs. Relinquishing Control

January 29, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I’m about to be brutally honest, y’all.

I’m struggling to find a balance in my life right now.

I want to live intentionally. I want to be intentional. An intentional Christian. An intentional wife. An intentional mother. An intentional friend. This leaves me floundering in things I want to do and “need” to do to keep relationships up and chores, etc done. I’m finding that I want control in so many areas so that my intentionality shows through. Basically, my OCD is going nuts over making sure every single thing I do has a reason and a good result.

The real result? I’m being so controlling that there is no grace and no room for error. You know who errors a lot? Kids. Husbands. Wives. Friends. People. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. I’m turning into an angry monster when things don’t go my way. (Hormones, much?) I’m realizing that being intentional isn’t the only thing that matters. And if I fail a little at being intentional, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve achieved the opposite – some sort of willy-nilly disregard for results or consequences.

I need to reign myself in, and let Jesus increase in my life. I’m not leaning on Him enough. I know this to be true, because doing things on my own, I will fail every time. I’m not bringing Him glory by trying to control everything in the name of being intentional. But I could bring Him glory by letting myself decrease, and letting Him increase.

I’m not saying this is easy for me. Actually, it’s one of the more difficult things I’ll ever do. Relinquish control over situations, over life in general? Yeah right. I’m good at organizing and managing. I can handle it, right? Well, I can’t. I’m realizing it more and more every day that I try. I can’t be a graceful parent without receiving the grace the Father has for me. I can’t be a wife who loves her husband unconditionally unless I receive the unconditional love from my heavenly Bridegroom. I can’t be a friend who listens and loves well, unless I am loved and renewed by my Savior and Friend.

Remember my New Year’s Resolution that wasn’t a resolution? To embrace it: life, my situation, whatever “it” was? Well, this is all going to be part of that – make it easier, even. Embrace my situation by relinquishing my control over it, and choosing to see myself, others, and my life the way God does. Seeing the world through His eyes instead of my judgmental, small-minded view could change everything for the better! I’m just taking the very first step in making that change… admitting that I need one.

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, random thoughts

10 Reasons I Want to Throw a Toddler Tantrum

January 26, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com!

Does anyone else wish they could hit the floor, scream at the top of their lungs, and cry it out?

1. I use wrinkle cream around my eyes, and acne-prevention face wash. At the same time.

2. The snack I made was for me, not the tiny pairs of hands that keep stealing it.

3. My coffee doesn’t reheat itself.

4. I want to take a nap, so why don’t my kids?!

5. I am angry that I don’t know the sound a rabbit makes, too.

6. I’m swimming in laundry. Seriously.

7. I just put those puzzles together, for crying out loud.

8. I can’t drink wine while pregnant.

9. I was using the laptop! And no, I didn’t want to watch Frozen!

10. I want to go to sleep at 9:00pm, but I can’t, because my toddler doesn’t want to.

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

Failing at Manners

January 19, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com !

Growling "like a dinosaur" instead of eating her lunch. — Growling “like a dinosaur” instead of eating her lunch.

So, I’ve been trying to teach EK about manners. I know, my two and a half year old doesn’t know much about manners (says anyone who’s ever spent time with her). She’s a little spastic, likes to run around instead of stay in her chair during meals, and thinks spitting, yelling, sounding like a fire truck, and pushing down her brother (who just learned to walk) are all acceptable things to do. We talk every day about being polite, making good choices, and being kind to others, and I can tell it’s finally starting to sink in. She knows better than doing lots of the things we talk about. And that’s where we get stuck.

Recently, she’s been saying, “That’s funny!” or “Ella Kate so funny!” after she does something mean or rude. So the other day, I countered with, “No, that’s not funny. That’s rude.” If you could tell me how to take those words back, I’d pay you a million dollars.

I have literally heard that phrase several times a day since I said it the first – and only – time. Of all the things I say that she parrots, I can’t believe that’s the one. Sometimes, she does something truly funny, and we tell her so. And right on cue, she responds with, “No! That’s not funny! That’s rude!”

Talk about a lost meaning. A giant parenting fail that I committed, just as I was trying to teach manners. The best laid plans, right? Well, I can’t stop teaching her about manners because I had an epic fail. I can’t just let her run me over when I try to teach her right from wrong. One failed teachable moment doesn’t excuse me from ever teaching her anything again. It just makes me want to get it right even more. As a parent, it’s my job to teach her to make good choices on her own, so that she can do it without me later. It’s a scarily important role, teaching those things. It’s tough. I’m sure when she’s a teenager, it’ll be tougher still. But I can’t be discouraged by one fail, or five fails, or a thousand. That loud, endearingly crazy girl is going to get the right idea, if I can help guide her in spite of ourselves.

faith, health and fitness, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, Run Away.

A Time Out for Mommy

January 12, 2015 Only Hsuman 8 Comments

My lungs are burning, I thought. Whether from cold or effort I don’t know.

That was the first real thought of what might have been a hundred during my first mile.

It’s been too long since my last run… especially since I’m pushing this double stroller.

Why didn’t I pack tissues?! There was room in the stroller for goodness sake!

If my fingertips are this numb, how are my kids doing? Why didn’t I make them wear gloves? Worst mom ever!

Gosh, I have to pee. I know. Pregnant with my third kid and I have to pee. Big surprise.

How many times is EK gonna drop that blanket? I’m never going to make it for three miles if I’m stopping every ten feet.

This is just a sampling of how my mind rambles while I’m running. It’s extremely silly sometimes, how my mind will come up with anything to think about besides the work it’s doing. And the truth was that even though it had been awhile since my last run, I wasn’t even working that hard. What was hard was the cold, my runny nose, and the fact that I always have to go to the bathroom.

But I needed the time out. Time outdoors. Time out in the sunshine (which has been hit or miss these days). Time out for my kiddos – not like a punishment, but a total removal from their current situation (sitting inside, toddling along after me, asking to be picked up). Time out of my normal laundry-dishes-picking-up routine. Time out from my “feed the kids, change a diaper, clean, repeat” routine. A mama can only put together 2732 puzzles before she needs a time out.

And y’all, when I tell you I need a time out, I’m serious. I get frustrated easily. Call it hormones, call it a generational curse, call it whatever you want. But I do. I work on it all day, every day. I pray about it. I have others pray with me about it. But I’m human, and I lose patience and lose resolve. So when I need to get rid of some frustration, I like going on a run. Winter is the worst, because my time out can’t happen if it’s below about 45 degrees (yes, I’m a weenie and I hate the cold). But when it’s 45 or above, my double jogging stroller is my best friend, who understands my venting and my struggles. Okay, fine. “Understands” is a stretch, but you get the idea. At least the stroller doesn’t struggle back.

Sometimes, I’m in need of more than just a run. I’m in need of a run to Jesus. I pray harder every mile. I pray for myself, I pray for my kids, my Hubby, my friends, my family. I pray for grace as a mama. I pray for patience and a clean heart. I pray that the 25 minute nap that J got in the stroller will last him till bedtime. I pray that I won’t collapse going up the last hill before I’m home. I pray because I need Jesus so much. I know that he’s the only one who truly understands, and can cleanse me and mold me into a more perfect woman in his sight.

faith

God Still Parts Red Seas

January 8, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Each year, the pastor at my church chooses a scripture that will be preached on and spoken to each member of the church individually, as a blessing for the year. It’s a really wonderful thing that they do: speaking positivity and truth into each and every person’s life through the course of one morning. Speaking blessing and encouragement into people who may not get it from anywhere else. It’s awesome.

Last night, I went with the other members of leadership to be blessed for 2015. The Blessing Sunday is a really busy time for worship leaders, pastors, deacons, and others who are leaders in the church, so we all get blessed with our families the previous Wednesday at a service together. As I went with Hubby to take communion and pick up the kids for the blessing, I was overcome with excitement. This is gonna be good! I thought. And it was. Our venue pastor Brandon was one of our “blessers”, along with a lady that I hadn’t met before. The scripture for the blessing was this:

Exodus 14:13-14 (NKJV)
And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

Stand still. How often are we told that? Maybe if we’re having our picture taken, and that’s about it. Otherwise, it’s “come here” and “do this” and “go there” and “finish that”. It’s never “stand still, and let the Lord fight your battle for you”. How much better is that? How much more successful will He be at fighting my battle?

See the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. He WILL accomplish it. No question. He HAS accomplished it; His salvation is already ours! Amen, y’all!

You shall hold your peace. Hold… your… peace. Hold it. YOUR peace. That peace is yours for the taking, for the holding. That peace is in the security of knowing the Lord is fighting for you. FOR. YOU.

Our “blessers” spoke wisdom, peace, encouragement and security into our lives for 2015. They spoke to us as husband and wife, as parents, as workers and doers and believers. They spoke in love, and in the Holy Spirit. I’ve been thinking about it all night and all morning, how encouraged and positive I feel! A little encouragement and a word from the Lord spoken straight to me can go a long way.

If you need this encouragement, this love, this word, and you’re in central NC, then be at Reynolda Church, EPC on Sunday morning at 9:30 or 11. It’s gonna be good, y’all.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy

The Social Networks of Moms

January 5, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com so check it out there, too!

I have a theory about moms and their social lives. It’s that most moms have five groups of people in their social networks. I’ll describe them a bit for you:

1. Friends from before you had kids. Notice I didn’t bother to separate these into high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. They’re all lumped together now in a group of “they’ve known me as a woman before she was a mom”.

2. Friends you made because you were pregnant at the same time. Perhaps you met these friends at your birthing classes. Possibly, you had the same doctor and ran into each other a lot. Maybe you’re like me, and you met them at prenatal yoga. Or just maybe, you just looked at each other, in the middle of Babies R Us, that registering “gun” in your hand, staring at the wall full of seemingly identical sippy cups, and just laughed together.

3. Friends you made because they also have kids. These are the friends that you were acquainted with, but you’d never really gotten to know before, until you realized your kids were similar ages, and wow! you live in the same neighborhood! Neighborhood park play date, anyone? (Note: They might also be the ones that you keep calling and asking your random “Is this normal?” type questions. And that’s okay, too.)

4. Friends you made because your kids are friends with theirs. Since my kids are young, I haven’t delved too far into this one yet myself, but these are friend you’ve made simply because your kids request to hang out with their kids. Lots of times, that means you and that other mom are gonna get a lot of quality time together, so I hope for your sake she’s cool.

5. Friends that belong in more than one of these groups. These are usually the favorites. Your best friend from college got pregnant at the same time as you. Your community group at church has a couple of moms with kids that are similarly aged. Your kids have had so many play dates with your prenatal yoga friends’ kids that they’re basically best friends now, too.

This fifth group is the one that I say “does life together”. Not that you can’t do life with someone in a different stage of life than you… you absolutely can. But isn’t it easier to relate to someone else who also has a toddler and a newborn, who can relate to the sleep-deprived craziness? Isn’t it more comforting to call a fellow mom to pray for you about your child having night terrors? It just makes more sense to ask another mom advice about getting your four-month-old to sleep through the night.

This group, network, tribe… these are the prayer warriors, the comforters, the make-you-feel-better-ers, and the caretakers on standby. These are the ones who will have coffee with you after preschool drop off in their pjs. They’re the ones who will immediately answer your message at 4:00am, because they’re also up nursing a baby. They’re the ones who will tell you it’s okay to cry over spilled milk sometimes, and your potty-training problems will be over before you know it, who will let you drop off your toddler for an hour while you go to the dentist, and who will remind you that those little mess-making devils are the ones you love, even on their messiest, most devious days – yes, even after you’ve stepped on the twenty-seventh Lego.

faith, mommyhood, random thoughts

2015 – Embrace It

December 31, 2014 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

Image from http://www.123newyear.com

So, I’ve never been one to make a resolution and stick with it. I typically don’t make resolutions at all. Have you ever done it? Have you even come close? I’m not great at setting goals… I know, that sounds silly. I’m afraid I’d just fail at it, get discouraged, get depressed, and then it’d be all over. I just do what I do, and try to do it well. That’s a goal, right?

Well, I heard a few things this year about resolutions not really being a thing any more, but having a quote or even just one word that you live your year by instead.

I read this post on My Big Jesus (here it is!) by a lovely woman I know, and she had a great take on a New Year’s “word”. She chose “ordinary”. That may seem like underachieving, but truly, it’s providing a blank slate for God to create something really beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary, that’s He has ordained, not me. Not something that I that I’ve heard other people did and thought it might look nice on my social media when you read it.

Leaving myself open to God’s plan isn’t always easy. His road is rarely freshly paved, with wide lanes and glorious views. It can be tough, windy, hilly, and we can feel like we’re low on gas.

But I think I’m gonna intentionally choose to embrace where I am in 2015. I jokingly say sometimes that I feel like I’m constantly on the crazy train, and I should just embrace it because it isn’t going anywhere. But seriously, I want to embrace the crazy – embrace it because it is my “ordinary”. I won’t set unattainable goals, lofty and numerous. I won’t even try my hardest to do what I want to do. I’m just going to pray more, and let His Spirit lead me. Saying “yes” to His will is the biggest “resolution”, or “word” to live by. The best part? There will be grace when I fail. There will be forgiveness when I’m not following. There will be room for growth, no matter how I’m doing. And that is where the true blessing is.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

A Mountainous Moment Away

December 29, 2014 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com!

A couple of weekends ago, I went to the mountains (Asheville, NC to be exact) with my college girlfriends for about 24 hours. Y’all. It’s the first baby-free 24 hours I’ve had since September. I know, I’m probably spoiled getting away twice in a matter of four months, but I digress.

We had planned to spend a day and a night together before the Christmas rush to catch up, sleep late, eat like the foodies we are, drink wine and shop. It was a great trip: beautiful weather, wonderful friends (we’ve been friends for ten years!) and just enough excitement to make me glad I wasn’t lugging two extra bodies around.

Until I’d gotten through 19 or so of the 24 hours. And then I missed those extra little bodies. No one was tugging at my shirt from around my knees, no one had needed to potty, no sippy cups misplaced, no diapers were changed, and no one had cried because their nap time was off. But then again, no one randomly wanted hugs and kisses, ate the rest of my sandwich I couldn’t finish, charmed strangers with his giggles, or gave a hilarious misnomer to an item she saw in a storefront. Hubby was sending me pictures of the three of them, having a grand time wearing superhero capes and having dance parties. I know, I shouldn’t complain. I was sitting in front of the fire at the Grove Park Inn, sipping hot chocolate. Still, I digress.

When you create two little beings, they are such a part of you that there’s no not missing them. There’s no glad you haven’t seen them in a while or relieved you aren’t changing diapers and scrambling eggs right now. I don’t think it’s a routine thing either… I don’t miss them because they’re a part of my routine and I’m a scheduled person. I miss them because they’re a part of me. They’re my favorite people. They’re opening my eyes to the world that they see and the feelings they’re discovering for the first time, not to mention milestones like learning to walk or pooping in the potty that I might be missing!

I also know that time with adults (read: people with wider vocabularies) and time to be by myself is healthy. I know that getting a full night’s sleep is a good thing, as is building and keeping up relationship with women that I love. It was a relaxing and rejuvenating time; we are an easy-going group, who all know each other well enough that we can skip pleasantries and get straight to what’s going on in our lives. And since we’re all at different points in our lives (ie: I’m the only mom) it’s fun to hear about things that we’ve passed, or things we haven’t come to yet. It’s good for me to remember that my life isn’t only inside my four walls with the three people I see most often. It stretches and encourages me that not all of us are in the same trenches.

Who says when you grow up, you don't like taking hilarious photos? — Who says when you grow up, you don’t like taking hilarious photos?

faith, food, holidays, home, mommyhood

Happy Christmas Eve!

December 24, 2014 Only Hsuman 1 Comment

Today is a happy day, full of family, music, Christmas pajamas, twinkling lights, yummy food, and gratitude. I’m thankful for so many things, on this day of wonder and joy, and I’ll list a few of them here:

A family that wanted to visit me for Christmas, and arrived safely
Cute kids in their pjs
A Hubby that provides and loves well
A roof over my head to shelter me from this rain
Lots of food to eat
A church family I’m excited to celebrate with tonight
Presents under the tree
A Savior who came for us all

Here’s a glimpse of the lazy morning, and I hope you’re doing the same thing!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/db9/69663559/files/2014/12/img_8858.jpg — Christmas stockings my mom made for us! We’ve just picked out one for EK, and are looking for one for J!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/db9/69663559/files/2014/12/img_8859.jpg — EK in her Christmas pj’s watching a Dr. Suess Christmas (from very close)

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/db9/69663559/files/2014/12/img_8860.jpg — J’s Christmas stripes and his current favorite toy.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/db9/69663559/files/2014/12/img_8863.jpg — My lovely mom, the sausage balls master!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/db9/69663559/files/2014/12/img_8864.jpg — She also makes delicious stove top coffee. I’m spoiled when she’s in town.

What are you plans for the day? Is it dreary and raining where you are?

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