Category Archives: mommyhood

faith, health and fitness, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, Run Away.

A Time Out for Mommy

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My lungs are burning, I thought.  Whether from cold or effort I don’t know. 

That was the first real thought of what might have been a hundred during my first mile.

It’s been too long since my last run… especially since I’m pushing this double stroller.

Why didn’t I pack tissues?! There was room in the stroller for goodness sake!

If my fingertips are this numb, how are my kids doing? Why didn’t I make them wear gloves? Worst mom ever!

Gosh, I have to pee. I know. Pregnant with my third kid and I have to pee. Big surprise.

How many times is EK gonna drop that blanket? I’m never going to make it for three miles if I’m stopping every ten feet.

This is just a sampling of how my mind rambles while I’m running. It’s extremely silly sometimes, how my mind will come up with anything to think about besides the work it’s doing. And the truth was that even though it had been awhile since my last run, I wasn’t even working that hard. What was hard was the cold, my runny nose, and the fact that I always have to go to the bathroom.

But I needed the time out. Time outdoors. Time out in the sunshine (which has been hit or miss these days). Time out for my kiddos – not like a punishment, but a total removal from their current situation (sitting inside, toddling along after me, asking to be picked up). Time out of my normal laundry-dishes-picking-up routine. Time out from my “feed the kids, change a diaper, clean, repeat” routine. A mama can only put together 2732 puzzles before she needs a time out.

And y’all, when I tell you I need a time out, I’m serious. I get frustrated easily. Call it hormones, call it a generational curse, call it whatever you want. But I do. I work on it all day, every day. I pray about it. I have others pray with me about it. But I’m human, and I lose patience and lose resolve. So when I need to get rid of some frustration, I like going on a run. Winter is the worst, because my time out can’t happen if it’s below about 45 degrees (yes, I’m a weenie and I hate the cold). But when it’s 45 or above, my double jogging stroller is my best friend, who understands my venting and my struggles. Okay, fine. “Understands” is a stretch, but you get the idea. At least the stroller doesn’t struggle back.

Sometimes, I’m in need of more than just a run. I’m in need of a run to Jesus. I pray harder every mile. I pray for myself, I pray for my kids, my Hubby, my friends, my family. I pray for grace as a mama. I pray for patience and a clean heart. I pray that the 25 minute nap that J got in the stroller will last him till bedtime. I pray that I won’t collapse going up the last hill before I’m home. I pray because I need Jesus so much. I know that he’s the only one who truly understands, and can cleanse me and mold me into a more perfect woman in his sight.

mommyhood, random thoughts

A Line-Up of Mock Resolutions

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Growl less. Trumpet more. Figure out what the fox says. Reach higher. Drink milk. Sums it up, right?
Growl less. Trumpet more. Figure out what the fox says. Reach higher. Drink milk. Sums it up, right?

A few days ago, I posted about my New Year’s “Resolution” that wasn’t really a resolution. I tried to go along with the “one word” for 2015 thing that I’ve seen becoming a trend (I think it actually started last year, and I can’t even remember if I got on board – oops). As you might recall (or as you might be hearing for the first time!) I have decided to “Embrace It” this year. Embrace what, you ask? Embrace motherhood. Embrace messes. Embrace hardships. Embrace family and friends. Embrace life and all that that entails. I will make the choice, whenever possible, to not complain about my circumstances. If I choose to be positive, to make lemonade from lemons, and to make good opportunities arise from situations in which I could sink to the floor and give up.

I’m not saying I’ll always make the good choice. If I hold myself to that, I’d be more disappointed than any other resolution I could’ve made. But I’m saying I’ll try. I’ll try for me, for Hubby, for the kids, for my family and my friends. I’ll give it my best shot. So if March comes along and I’ve already forgotten, someone remind me, okay?

Anyway, in light of New Year’s and resolutions and moms (and the combination of all of that) here are some hilarious and impractical resolutions that I could have picked to make instead:

1. Put a stick figure family on my minivan.
2. Get the minivan mentioned in #1.
3. Monogram the back windshield of said minivan.
4. Get over the hangup about the minivan I don’t own.
5. Decide to never get frustrated with my children.
6. Clean more, so that I have a lovely, guest-ready home at all times.
7. Clean less, so that I can spend more quality time with my kids.
8. Get reusable bags for my groceries, and use them. Because I would always remember, right?
9. Practice random acts of kindness… such as not yelling when messes are made or punching Hubby when he snores.
10. Get back into yoga… because it makes me yell less.
11. Clean the leftover sweets out of the house, because I’m upset about how much junk food I ate during the holidays, then go to Starbucks and order a venti sugar bomb.
12. Stop eating fast food, so that I’m a little more stressed about making sure we have enough groceries and time to make three meals every day.
13. Stop spending so much time on my iPhone, because no one wants to see pictures of my kids or talk to me when they call. My relationships can WAIT!
14. Get more sleep at night. Because my kids made that their resolution also, of course.

And one that I really am going to try to do, even though it is a lot, and sort of a funny one:

15. Continue writing down all the hilarious things my kids do and say, because I know at some point during their lives, they’ll like hearing the stories.

What resolutions did you make? Do you have any hilarious ones to add to my list of “fake” resolutions?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy

The Social Networks of Moms

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This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com so check it out there, too!

I have a theory about moms and their social lives. It’s that most moms have five groups of people in their social networks. I’ll describe them a bit for you:

1. Friends from before you had kids. Notice I didn’t bother to separate these into high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. They’re all lumped together now in a group of “they’ve known me as a woman before she was a mom”.

2. Friends you made because you were pregnant at the same time. Perhaps you met these friends at your birthing classes. Possibly, you had the same doctor and ran into each other a lot. Maybe you’re like me, and you met them at prenatal yoga. Or just maybe, you just looked at each other, in the middle of Babies R Us, that registering “gun” in your hand, staring at the wall full of seemingly identical sippy cups, and just laughed together.

3. Friends you made because they also have kids. These are the friends that you were acquainted with, but you’d never really gotten to know before, until you realized your kids were similar ages, and wow! you live in the same neighborhood! Neighborhood park play date, anyone? (Note: They might also be the ones that you keep calling and asking your random “Is this normal?” type questions. And that’s okay, too.)

4. Friends you made because your kids are friends with theirs. Since my kids are young, I haven’t delved too far into this one yet myself, but these are friend you’ve made simply because your kids request to hang out with their kids. Lots of times, that means you and that other mom are gonna get a lot of quality time together, so I hope for your sake she’s cool.

5. Friends that belong in more than one of these groups. These are usually the favorites. Your best friend from college got pregnant at the same time as you. Your community group at church has a couple of moms with kids that are similarly aged. Your kids have had so many play dates with your prenatal yoga friends’ kids that they’re basically best friends now, too.

This fifth group is the one that I say “does life together”. Not that you can’t do life with someone in a different stage of life than you… you absolutely can. But isn’t it easier to relate to someone else who also has a toddler and a newborn, who can relate to the sleep-deprived craziness? Isn’t it more comforting to call a fellow mom to pray for you about your child having night terrors? It just makes more sense to ask another mom advice about getting your four-month-old to sleep through the night.

This group, network, tribe… these are the prayer warriors, the comforters, the make-you-feel-better-ers, and the caretakers on standby. These are the ones who will have coffee with you after preschool drop off in their pjs. They’re the ones who will immediately answer your message at 4:00am, because they’re also up nursing a baby. They’re the ones who will tell you it’s okay to cry over spilled milk sometimes, and your potty-training problems will be over before you know it, who will let you drop off your toddler for an hour while you go to the dentist, and who will remind you that those little mess-making devils are the ones you love, even on their messiest, most devious days – yes, even after you’ve stepped on the twenty-seventh Lego.1557299_10201745293992537_4234563664332024362_o

faith, mommyhood, random thoughts

2015 – Embrace It

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Image from www.123newyear.comImage from http://www.123newyear.com

So, I’ve never been one to make a resolution and stick with it. I typically don’t make resolutions at all. Have you ever done it? Have you even come close? I’m not great at setting goals… I know, that sounds silly. I’m afraid I’d just fail at it, get discouraged, get depressed, and then it’d be all over. I just do what I do, and try to do it well. That’s a goal, right?

Well, I heard a few things this year about resolutions not really being a thing any more, but having a quote or even just one word that you live your year by instead.

I read this post on My Big Jesus (here it is!) by a lovely woman I know, and she had a great take on a New Year’s “word”. She chose “ordinary”. That may seem like underachieving, but truly, it’s providing a blank slate for God to create something really beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary, that’s He has ordained, not me. Not something that I that I’ve heard other people did and thought it might look nice on my social media when you read it.

Leaving myself open to God’s plan isn’t always easy. His road is rarely freshly paved, with wide lanes and glorious views. It can be tough, windy, hilly, and we can feel like we’re low on gas.

But I think I’m gonna intentionally choose to embrace where I am in 2015. I jokingly say sometimes that I feel like I’m constantly on the crazy train, and I should just embrace it because it isn’t going anywhere. But seriously, I want to embrace the crazy – embrace it because it is my “ordinary”. I won’t set unattainable goals, lofty and numerous. I won’t even try my hardest to do what I want to do. I’m just going to pray more, and let His Spirit lead me. Saying “yes” to His will is the biggest “resolution”, or “word” to live by. The best part? There will be grace when I fail. There will be forgiveness when I’m not following. There will be room for growth, no matter how I’m doing. And that is where the true blessing is.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

A Mountainous Moment Away

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This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com!

A couple of weekends ago, I went to the mountains (Asheville, NC to be exact) with my college girlfriends for about 24 hours. Y’all. It’s the first baby-free 24 hours I’ve had since September. I know, I’m probably spoiled getting away twice in a matter of four months, but I digress.

We had planned to spend a day and a night together before the Christmas rush to catch up, sleep late, eat like the foodies we are, drink wine and shop. It was a great trip: beautiful weather, wonderful friends (we’ve been friends for ten years!) and just enough excitement to make me glad I wasn’t lugging two extra bodies around.

Until I’d gotten through 19 or so of the 24 hours. And then I missed those extra little bodies. No one was tugging at my shirt from around my knees, no one had needed to potty, no sippy cups misplaced, no diapers were changed, and no one had cried because their nap time was off. But then again, no one randomly wanted hugs and kisses, ate the rest of my sandwich I couldn’t finish, charmed strangers with his giggles, or gave a hilarious misnomer to an item she saw in a storefront. Hubby was sending me pictures of the three of them, having a grand time wearing superhero capes and having dance parties. I know, I shouldn’t complain. I was sitting in front of the fire at the Grove Park Inn, sipping hot chocolate. Still, I digress.

When you create two little beings, they are such a part of you that there’s no not missing them. There’s no glad you haven’t seen them in a while or relieved you aren’t changing diapers and scrambling eggs right now. I don’t think it’s a routine thing either… I don’t miss them because they’re a part of my routine and I’m a scheduled person. I miss them because they’re a part of me. They’re my favorite people. They’re opening my eyes to the world that they see and the feelings they’re discovering for the first time, not to mention milestones like learning to walk or pooping in the potty that I might be missing!

I also know that time with adults (read: people with wider vocabularies) and time to be by myself is healthy. I know that getting a full night’s sleep is a good thing, as is building and keeping up relationship with women that I love. It was a relaxing and rejuvenating time; we are an easy-going group, who all know each other well enough that we can skip pleasantries and get straight to what’s going on in our lives. And since we’re all at different points in our lives (ie: I’m the only mom) it’s fun to hear about things that we’ve passed, or things we haven’t come to yet. It’s good for me to remember that my life isn’t only inside my four walls with the three people I see most often. It stretches and encourages me that not all of us are in the same trenches.

Who says when you grow up, you don't like taking hilarious photos?
Who says when you grow up, you don’t like taking hilarious photos?
holidays, home, mommyhood

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

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What a busy day we had! And that’s saying something, since we didn’t have to leave the house at all. We opened lots of presents, ate lots of food (mostly breakfast and snacks – our Christmas feast was green beans, macaroni and cheese, and Honeybaked ham!), and just spent lots of time together with our sweet family. Eight people at the house, in addition to our four was a lot, but awesome.

Here are a few pictures to recap the day… I’ll post again later with the nicer photos from Hubby’s camera, and also include J’s first birthday party this afternoon! He’ll be one tomorrow – more celebration! Phew!

 

 

 

 

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We set this maze up so that EK would have to go through it to get to the rest… brilliant. It’s about 6:45am in this photo, so my photography skills (and the lighting) are only so-so. The sun wasn’t even up.

 

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Grocery shopping for the win. Sorry about my foot.

 

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EK’s old magna-doodle was a favorite toy, and it’s been broken for a few months. The replacement was a happy discovery.

 

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Sweet snuggles with the little guy who LOVES the maze.

 

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One of the only pictures with both kiddos… basking in the sunlight!
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Artsy selfie enjoying the sunshine and my new mug!

 

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Somehow Hubby fit in the maze.
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The diva in her element.
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My mom reminiscing about paper dolls, while EK plays with her new magnet dolls.
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Snuggly selfie with Holly and Finley!

More pictures from Hubby’s camera later… and also, J’s birthday party was a blast! Will post about it tomorrow! How was your Christmas?!

 

 

faith, food, holidays, home, mommyhood

Happy Christmas Eve!

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Today is a happy day, full of family, music, Christmas pajamas, twinkling lights, yummy food, and gratitude. I’m thankful for so many things, on this day of wonder and joy, and I’ll list a few of them here:

A family that wanted to visit me for Christmas, and arrived safely
Cute kids in their pjs
A Hubby that provides and loves well
A roof over my head to shelter me from this rain
Lots of food to eat
A church family I’m excited to celebrate with tonight
Presents under the tree
A Savior who came for us all

Here’s a glimpse of the lazy morning, and I hope you’re doing the same thing!

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Christmas stockings my mom made for us! We’ve just picked out one for EK, and are looking for one for J!

 

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EK in her Christmas pj’s watching a Dr. Suess Christmas (from very close)
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J’s Christmas stripes and his current favorite toy.

 

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My lovely mom, the sausage balls master!

 

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She also makes delicious stove top coffee. I’m spoiled when she’s in town.

What are you plans for the day? Is it dreary and raining where you are?

 

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

A Christmas Story

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My daughter likes to have me read the Bible to her before she goes to bed. We have two versions that we read to her: The Beginner’s Bible and The Jesus Storybook Bible (both by Zonderkidz). For some reason, the entire season of Advent, we hadn’t read from the latter of the two versions until the other night. I was laying in her bed, her head nestled on my lap, and read the story of the Nativity, as written in The Jesus Storybook Bible.

Y’all. I was weeping.

I will first say that I’ve looked at the Nativity story – specifically Mary and her blessed job – a little different since becoming a mother myself. It’s rocked my world the past few Christmases, thinking about carrying a child you know will change the world in the best and most terrifying of ways. I’ll share a few favorite moments, but I have to say that I love the annunciation story:

“‘Mary, you’re going to have a baby. A little boy. You will call him Jesus. He is God’s own Son. He’s the One! He’s the Rescuer!’
…Wait. God was sending a baby to rescue the world?
‘But it’s too wonderful!’ Mary said and felt her heart beating hard. ‘How can it be true?’
‘Is anything too wonderful for God?’ Gabriel asked.
So Mary trusted God more than what her eyes could see. And she believed. ‘I am God’s servant,’ she said. ‘Whatever God says, I will do.'”

I love the way they don’t leave out the nuance of Mary’s fear mingled with excitement, followed by complete and total trust. My two-year-old might not have picked it up, but that was where the tears began. And here’s where they really picked up: the story of the shepherds. You see, I had never given a thought to God as a daddy. A great, big, Holy Father, sure. But a giddy, brand new Daddy? It melted me.

“You see, God was like a new daddy – he couldn’t keep the good news to himself. He’d been waiting all these long years for this moment, and now he wanted to tell everyone.
So he pulled out all the stops. He’d sent an angel to tell Mary the good news. He’d put a special star in the sky to show where his boy was. And now he was going to send a big choir of angels to sing his happy song to the world: He’s come! Go and see him. My little Boy.”

My little Boy. Thinking about my own little boy and his excited his wonderful daddy was when he was born made me wonder how much more excited God was to see his tiny Son be born!

Wrapping up the story was a perfect summation, written in a way that all can understand:

“But this child was a new kind of king. Though he was the Prince of Heaven, he had become poor. Though he was the Mighty God, he had become a helpless baby. This King hadn’t come to be the boss. He had come to be a servant.”

The excitement and wonder of Jesus’ arrival at Christmas is still a glorious foreshadowing of the sacrifice and hope of Easter. A incredible story of the humble beginnings of a baby King, growing into an unparalleled story of miracles, prophecy and fulfillment, suffering, death, and resurrection all for the sinners who had turned from Him. Reading between the lines of a children’s story, I experienced a shift from the busyness and excitement to gratefulness and conviction. I belong to this baby King, and he is my reason for everything I do.

mommyhood, pregnancy

10 Truths About Being Pregnant

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Recently, I have had another wave of my friends – real life and blog world – get pregnant (with their seconds and thirds, mostly). Talking to them about their weird symptoms and questioning what is “normal” during a pregnancy got me thinking. What is normal? Is there such a thing as a normal pregnancy? Are you similarly pregnant each time, or do you have a different pregnancy with each child? Here are my thoughts:

1. Whatever happens to you is your “normal”. Feel great? That’s normal! Super tired and cranky? That’s normal! Only willing to eat watermelon and macaroni and cheese? That’s normal! For me, normal was feeling great and eating either raw food (salad, fruit, etc) and cereal. Weird, I know.

2. Fatigue is real. I repeat, the fatigue is real. I don’t care how far long you are, or what number child you’re having. You will experience fatigue sometimes. For me, it’s typically first trimester, and a little bit third trimester when I’m doing too much with that big belly and extra weight.

3. Pregnancy symptoms can start really early. Those people who tell you that the first several weeks you can’t even tell you’re pregnant… are lying. Breast soreness, increased appetite, backaches, headaches, fatigue – it can all start as early as BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW YOU’RE PREGNANT. For real.

4. Maternity pants fit no one. Over-the-belly ones, at least. Especially because you might have a week that they fit you perfectly, but you know darn well that they won’t fit you if you are only 23 weeks, and they won’t fit you if you’re 37 weeks. When I’m pregnant, I wear under-the-belly bottoms almost exclusively.

7 months with second baby and I'm wearing my regular old pajama pants at every opportunity, because my maternity pants are so ill-fitting.
7 months with second baby and I’m wearing my regular old pajama pants at every opportunity, because my maternity pants are so ill-fitting.

5. Getting a cold feels like the flu. A smile was cold you caught from your preschooler can turn into a nasty snot fest that has you bedridden, begging Hubby to make you hot tea and grilled cheese.

6. Telling (and not telling) your news is equally stressful and fun. It’s hard to decide when and how and to whom to share the news. It’s taboo to tell too early, but waiting is tough when you cut out alcohol and caffeine and can’t fit in your clothes like you used to.

7. Once you’ve had a miscarriage, you may drive yourself crazy waiting for signs of another one. With J, I was fearful every time I felt a tiny bit of pain in my belly, or when I was really tired or had done a lot in a day without resting.

8. Learning to sleep on your left side for nine months is hard, but could be permanent. I’ve slept on my left side almost every night since I changed to doing that while pregnant with EK. I was always a stomach sleeper before.

9. Hormones are real, and scary. I cried a lot, about good things and bad, and I was a little… on edge (read: snappy. Sorry Hubby.). And unfortunately it didn’t really go away until the baby was a couple months old. It takes a while to get back to normal!

10. Insatiable hunger is a thing. I was hungry and craving things from the moment I was pregnant, it seemed. Different things all the time, but trying to quench my hunger with fruits and veggies didn’t always work. I frequently needed carbs and proteins to really stave off hunger more than a few minutes. And the only time I went hours without being hungry was sleeping at night, and sometimes not even then.

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I’m sure I’ve posted it before, but it’s my favorite scale shot of how big I was last Christmas, with EK sprawled across me. ❤

So there are 10 of my personal truths about being pregnant. Now I want to know: Are you currently pregnant? What was your normal when you were? Were your pregnancies similar? Did you do anything differently?

 

mommyhood

I’m Officially 29!

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Folks, this is the last year of my 20s. And you know what? I’m not even sad.

On Saturday, I had a fantastic day. We went out to breakfast, were successful in packing up more of the basement and catching up (a little anyway) on some laundry, and then in the evening our babysitter came over to let us go out to dinner and to see Mockingjay Part 1 (which, by the way, was totally awesome).

The only hitch in the day happened first thing in the morning. When I woke up, it was to the sound of my toddler, running around upstairs. This isn’t unusual. She sometimes stays in bed to read for a while, and sometimes comes out to play with her toys. This morning, she decided she was going to get started with breakfast. Much to my dismay, she began with eggs. And of COURSE, because toddlers are clumsy, she broke a couple. One in the kitchen, right in front of the refrigerator, which she stepped in, and tracked all the way back to my bedroom, where she broke the other one. Of course, right? Happy birthday to me. The first thing Hubby and I did when we got up was strip her of her egg-covered clothes, bleach the floor from kitchen to bedroom, and put everyone in the shower. Sheesh. Then, when we finally were all clean and dressed, there was no way I was cooking breakfast, so I got some Waffle House out of the deal! That was good.

Needless to say, we are now locking the fridge. It sounds ridiculous, but I am NOT cleaning up that mess again!