Speak Life.

This piece originally appeared on Everyday Exiles.

As I’ve taken the past few weeks to be silent pretty often, it’s been a good time to think about the words I do actually say out loud.

We tend, as well-meaning adults, mentors, Christians, and friends, to offer advice (usually unsolicited) or counsel. We offer opinions (however squirrelly that gets in the moment) and ideas, agreements and rebuttals. We speak all sorts of words that are just plain unnecessary.

Let me explain.

The Bible shows us from the first few pages that words have power. I mean, God created the world, light, darkness, not to mention us, by just breathing words out of His mouth (Genesis 1, y’all). And then, He did the incredible thing: He created us in His image. WE are created in the very likeness of a God whose words have creation power! Even the penman of Psalm 33 proclaims the power in verse 6 – “By the word of the Lord, the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth, all their host.” The numberless stars were spoken into existence by a creative and powerful God – in whose likeness we were also made!

So why is it that, sometimes without our even realizing it, we speak fear, confusion, hurt, and unkindness over many, even the ones we love the most? It’s like we forget this God-given gift of words with power. It’s almost as if we – wait for it – speak without thinking! Before you stop reading because you’re thinking I’m a hypocrite, I most certainly am. But keep reading, please.

It’s as simple as remembering when we saw Disney’s Bambi as children: Thumper famously says, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” And yes, it was RIGHT AFTER hurling a good-natured insult at Bambi. But don’t we all do that? We say the hurtful thing, and THEN we remember that it might be have consequences, even those we won’t see for a while.

But even more than saying things that are “nice”, I think we’re called to say things that have more power. Instead of saying something that could tear someone down or shame them, let’s say something that will build them up, call them up, call them higher. Jess Connolly puts it this way in her book Dance, Stand, Run: “…I think if we spent more of our time attempting to speak life, we wouldn’t have to worry as much about the death coming out when we’re not being watchful.” If we turned a little bit of our efforts over to actively speaking life, love, encouragement and value into people, how much less of our words would be hurtful ones that spoke death to dreams and fear into places that should be full of confidence?!

Let’s end with this: our words are really, really important. Use them wisely. Say less of them, if that suits you. Think before you say your words; think about what will be heard by the recipient. Above all, speak life.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! The pickin’s are a little slim this week, but let’s just say it’s because I’ve been more “in the moment” and not because I’ve been horrible at writing things down. Okay? Okay. Enjoy the ones I’ve got!

D: I went to da docker (doctor).
Me: Oh really? What did he say?
D: My name. My brown name.
Me: …oh…

EK: I’m really smart. I can do a puzzle in one minute or ten.

J, standing still against the wall: I look just like a picture!

D, having unbuttoned his whole shirt: Mama, my shirt is broken!

Me, post-workout: My butt is so sore!
J: That’s because you’re sitting on my foot!
Me: …….

J, telling me something I absolutely already know and probably told him myself: Mom! Did you know that…. (fill in the rest with a fact everyone knows)?!?!?!

What are your kids saying these days?!

10 Chores That Young Kids Can Do

This piece also appeared on The Grit and Grace Project.

One of the things I’ve tried to establish early in in my parenting is my desire to raise responsible children who contribute to their community (be it their family, classroom, society, etc). In our culture, this can be difficult… they’re busy, they want to watch TV, or they’re used to being told “You’re too young to do that.” But I’ve got 9 things my kids can and should be doing to contribute to the housework load.

1. Help unload the dishwasher. My kids do their plastic dishes, their cups/bottles/all those parts, and all the silverware (not including sharp knives). I just ask whichever of them is around when I need to get it unloaded, and almost always, they’re eager to help.

2. Put away their laundry. This one is a big one. We often watch some TV before bedtime, and I set a timer for 4-5 minutes at a time, and we pause the TV, and everyone puts some clothes away. Sometimes it’s their own clothes into their own dressers. Sometimes it’s towels, or something of mine or Hubby’s that I have them carry to our room for me to put away later. They’re quite good at helping, and they’re learning to keep their drawers organized… or everything won’t fit!

3. Clean up their toys/pick up their rooms. I don’t make them do this all day every day. We frequently have toys left out, even when we go to bed sometimes. But I do ask them to keep things fairly organized (in labeled bins!) and mostly off the floor. If it gets too out of control, we spend a morning or evening cleaning EVERYONE’s room. But I help, not really facilitate. They know what to do.

4. Bring dishes from the table to the sink. I like having them help clear the table. That way, they can’t just get up whenever they feel like it. They tell me they’re full, and I say when they can get up, take their dishes to the sink, get their hands and faces clean, and go play.

5. Gather/Sort/Switch over laundry. I have them bring their dirty laundry to the laundry room, and often to sort it, help me start a load, help me switch it to the dryer (they’re a little short to get in my top-loading washer), and bring it out to be folded.

6. Clean the table/windows/doors. I let them loose with a roll of paper towels and the Method Glass Cleaner. Boom. It’s not as streak-free as when I do it myself, but they learn that their contribution is valuable at any level.

7. Sweep/pick up crumbs. My kids really like to sweep, and I have a handheld broom and dustpan for them to get everything up off the floor. We try to do this once a day (but then again, it depends on the day).

8. Weed, water, and harvest in the garden. They love this one, simply because they love being outside. We’re teaching them to recognize weeds, and the right way to pull them up (getting the WHOLE weed). They’re also learning when our vegetables are ready to pick – or to eat right off the plant, in the case of several tomatoes and cucumbers!

9. Pack lunch. This one I’m going to start soon. Once I’ve given a good idea of what a healthy lunch looks like, I’m going to have things semi-prepared for my kindergartener to grab a few things to put in her lunch box each morning. I’ll choose a bit, and let her choose her snack and a few add-ins. That way, she’s more excited about eating it because she picked it.

10. Help make the bed. I haven’t set a good precedent about this one, but I often find myself having them help, even if it isn’t first thing in the morning. Having lots of decorative pillows can make the job cumbersome, but pulling up sheets and blankets and putting the animals on TOP of the blankets is pretty darn easy. As is helping Mom or Dad strip the bed and change the sheets! My kids like the putting-on of the pillow cases the best!

What are some things your kids to around the house? Are there other chores I should start my kids on early?

Currently – May!

Hello, friends! I simply cannot believe how this year has FLOWN by! The fact that it’s already May has me reeling a bit. But, I’m always glad to give a little update and link up with the fabulous Anne in Residence and a new friend, Carrie at A Stylish Fit. Comment below or link up and tell us all about what you’re up to currently!

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Celebrating || summer! I know there are still five weeks of school left (for us in NC at least), and I know it’s not that hot out there yet, but I also know that going to the pool, eating fresh tomatoes from our garden, and not having a wake up time are all GREAT things that are coming soon!

Creating || my summer to-read list. I want to actually try to stick to it, since I’ve got so many things on my TBR list. I’m hoping to finish Peace Like a River (y’all – SO GOOD), Too Much and Not in the Mood (beautiful non-fiction, but this style is just a little slower-going for me as a reader), AND Everybody Always (shout out to Bob Goff!) by the time summer ACTUALLY arrives. At that point, I’d like to read the other books in the A Wrinkle in Time series (L’year of L’engle, says Annie Downs) and The Turquoise Table (one that I heard about a year or so ago, and only just bought). I’ll probably have time for more than just those, but I haven’t locked down what I’d like to move on to after that.Snagged these at Barnes and Noble yesterday!

Wearing || Chacos every DAY! And a new hat I got for running. It’s mesh in the back (because hot, y’all), and has a nice big G on the front. Any UGA fans around?!

Sharing || my current reads… it’s been so fun to have a little journey with some online friends about what I’m reading, what I’d like to read next, and getting suggestions for my next books! (This is mostly taking place on my stories on Instagram! Follow me @onlyhsuman if you’d like to come with me!) I’ve always been an avid reader, but recently I’ve enjoyed making time for it more and more. When I was in the fog of raising actual babies (you know, the ones who don’t sleep through the night or do anything for themselves) I just didn’t have much brain power leftover for reading. But now I can even have a few minutes to read while they’re AWAKE because they understand that Mama needs some down time, too. It’s actually lovely. I don’t mind this stage!

Going || to run my next half marathon next weekend! This round of race training has been a little more low-key than the last. There’s definitely an element of “I’ve already done this, so I know I can do it again.” and I’m not pushing myself quite so hard. I also am fairly certain I set a PR last time finishing under two hours, so I’m trying to not be mad that I’m little slower this time around. I’ll finish, and that’s the goal. Prayers for one more good long run this Friday and healthy knees and ankles for the next week and a half are appreciated!

That’s about all for me right now. What are you up to currently?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I hope you enjoy these funnies each week… share them with a friend!!

J: I want to go to Yew Nork City!
EK: New York City.
J: That’s what I said!

EK, after spending a day with my college friends: Mom, this was the best girls day EVER!

J, when he bumped his head: My brain hurts.

D: Good morning! Can I haf pizza?

J talking about his brother splashing in the bath: …and the water was like a rough, unforgiving sea.
Me: 😳

D: I need a coin dong. (Corn dog.)

Misnomers…
D eating mangoes: I love dees peaches!

What are your kids saying these days?! I can’t wait to hear!!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday!! It’s raining and dreary here – maybe these funnies will bring a little sunshine!

EK, telling me a story: …and then in a couple whiles….

D, randomly: I got a mushroom head!

EK, playing a game with the boys: Don’t move, but you can breathe and blink.

J, climbing in my lap: Can I have a snuggle me-luggle?

Me: Are you going to use the potty?
D: Yeah! I’m gonna put my BUTT in there!

J: Did you hear what type of toot that was?!
Me: ….what type?
J: Almost like I spit! *makes that sound with his mouth*

J, playing the piano: You know what I’m saying with my music? That I’m a miracle.
Me: *weeps*

D: I wanna go to da oceans.
Me: Me too, bud. Me too.
D: We gotta get our sandals. Dazzat sound good?

D, after he’d been snuggling me and telling me he loved me: I love you again.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! Last week I was on vacation and allowed myself to NOT EVEN POST ANYTHING. So enjoy a couple of weeks’ worth of Crazy Things My Kids Say.

J: Did you know that sometimes when you potty, you can stand up? And then you face away from the potty and poop out.

J: Home is a better airport.

J, about 20 mins away from home: Did you know we’re so close to DisneyWorld?!

Hubby: We’re only about a 12 hours drive away.
J: I can count to 12!
Hubby: Reeeeeeeal slow.

Seeing the Charlotte skyline…
Me: Do you guys see that big building up ahead?
J: The one that looks like a giant big banana?!

EK: I want to be a baker!
Our friend Marie: Well bakers get up really early, like midnight, and work all the way until morning.
EK: I did not know that so I think I won’t.

EK: Hey! Watch out! I’m going on a big dump!
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Hubby: What?
EK: I’m going on a dump!
(Obvi she means pooping, in case we’ve gotten too G-rated in here)

J: I love you to the moon and back! And all the way around DisneyWorld!!

J, after riding in the car for a few hours: When I try to sit up, my booty hurts.
Me: From sitting on it so long? I’m sorry; we’ll stop soon.
J: I think there’s a swordfish back there, poking it.

Too much Disney movie watching…
Me: You’re trying my patience.
J: Like Mowgli is trying Sher-khan’s patience?

Me: You disobeyed me.
J: Like Simba disobeyed Mufasa?

Well, what are your kids saying these days? Let me hear the sillies!

We serve a loving God.

This piece originally appeared on Everyday Exiles.

Kids these days, am I right?

We’re expecting them to do more than they ever would have needed to ten years ago. We’ve been pushing them harder to act older, testing them more often than ever before, and exposing them to more than they should see or know about, years before they’re probably ready.

Recently, my kindergartener came home to tell me a girl in her class (who she’s buddies with, by the way) had a mom who just went to jail. At first, I wasn’t sure how to respond. When I didn’t say anything, she continued on to tell me that it was because the mom had talked to bad guys, and bad guys were sneaky. I could hardly disagree. She also said that the girl would be coming to school with her grandma from now on.

What conversation could I have with my kindergartener about jail? About why people went, how long they stayed, and what would happen after they got out? How could I ever explain to her that this could alter her little friend’s life? Did I keep my daughter on a “need-to-know basis”, and not discuss it further, since she clearly didn’t need to know? Or did I use it as an opportunity to enlighten her on a subject she shouldn’t have to know about at age five? I couldn’t protect her from what she’d already heard; I didn’t want to lie to her, either.

What I ended up saying was that she might take this time to be extra kind to her friend. The girl might not talk about her mom, and that was okay. She might talk about her, and my daughter could just try to be a good listener. She might try to be a really good friend, because the girl might be sad. But most of all, I reassured her that sometimes bad things happen, and we talk to Jesus about them. We asked Jesus to be with the girl more tangibly, and asked Him to tell us what we could do to help her in her hard season. Paul’s letter to the Colossians reminds us to clothe ourselves “with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience”. More and more, I find that children possess those qualities already, and we just need to help them develop. We can call it “character building”. We can call it “education” or “challenging” them. But what it really is is showing them that we live in a broken world, and teaching them to lean on Jesus while they’re here. It’s showing them that bad things do really happen, but that we serve a loving God, who will take care of us, even in the mess.

CURRENTLY – APRIL!

Happy April! Spring has sprung, and it’s actually spring break where we are! I’m writing this update from the road- we are en route to Florida for a day of rest, and four days of Disney craziness! We are not quite halfway there as I write this, so wish us luck!

I figured I’d use this “down time” to link up with Anne in Residence and Jessica from I Am Teacher Fit to bring you this edition of Currently! So here’s what I’m currently up to…

Reading || Too Much and Not in the Mood (Durga Chew-Bose) and This Is Me Letting You Go (Heidi Priebe). They’re both memoir style, so I’m going to add on If You Only Knew (Jamie Ivey, another memoir style) and Britt-Marie Was Here (Fredrick Backman) because who am I without a novel?!

Expecting || a great five days in Florida! We are spending tonight and tomorrow with friends, and then when we get to Disney on Friday, my parents will meet us there! You can be sure lots of pictures will follow!

Showering || it’s more like sprinkling, but my friend’s second baby, her first boy! Sprinkles are lower key than a shower, but it sure is fun to celebrate a coming baby!

Buying || summer sandals for the kids (Keen style, made for play!) at Costco and Carters. And new bathing suits! I just got everyone a new suit (including me!) and we will debut them this week. I also ALWAYS buy rash guards, because I think sunscreen is gross (no matter how much we need it and obviously still use it), so if a long sleeved shirt means I use a little less, I’m in! I found my new Roxy suit and rash guard on Zulily a few weeks ago (awesome sale!) and let the kids pick theirs out at Target. It’s still nice that we can eyeball theirs instead of trying a hundred on like I usually have to. I’m all about buying them, and taking them home to try them on, even knowing I’ll take most of it back later. Found these babies at Costco on the cheap! I’ll post our new suits with the Disney pics next week!

Link up or comment and let me know what April looks like for you currently!!

Things Toddlers Say

HEY! We are leaving for Florida tomorrow for a week, so I can’t promise how good vacation mom is at writing down the funnies… so enjoy these to last you till then! Happy Tuesday!!

Hubby helping EK with a crossword puzzle: What’s the thing that goes on pizza that’s round?
EK: Mozzarella?

Hubby: What do y’all want for lunch?
EK: We haven’t had Mexigan in a while.

J, knowing about science: Baby ducks are not chicks. Baby ducks are baby ducks.

EK on Easter: Does Jesus die every year?
Our friend Drew: Well, it only happened once but we celebrate it every year.
EK: I don’t know if I believe that.

EK to our pastor on Easter: You did a really nice job today.

D, being more like me than ever: *Using his bacon as a spoon in his grits*

J at bedtime: Daddy, your love makes me a happy boy.

EK to me: Phew. I better not get in trouble any more.

What are your kids saying these days?! Inquiring minds want to know!

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