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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! The pickin’s are a little slim this week, but let’s just say it’s because I’ve been more “in the moment” and not because I’ve been horrible at writing things down. Okay? Okay. Enjoy the ones I’ve got!

D: I went to da docker (doctor).
Me: Oh really? What did he say?
D: My name. My brown name.
Me: …oh…

EK: I’m really smart. I can do a puzzle in one minute or ten.

J, standing still against the wall: I look just like a picture!

D, having unbuttoned his whole shirt: Mama, my shirt is broken!

Me, post-workout: My butt is so sore!
J: That’s because you’re sitting on my foot!
Me: …….

J, telling me something I absolutely already know and probably told him myself: Mom! Did you know that…. (fill in the rest with a fact everyone knows)?!?!?!

What are your kids saying these days?!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I hope you enjoy these funnies each week… share them with a friend!!

J: I want to go to Yew Nork City!
EK: New York City.
J: That’s what I said!

EK, after spending a day with my college friends: Mom, this was the best girls day EVER!

J, when he bumped his head: My brain hurts.

D: Good morning! Can I haf pizza?

J talking about his brother splashing in the bath: …and the water was like a rough, unforgiving sea.
Me: 😳

D: I need a coin dong. (Corn dog.)

Misnomers…
D eating mangoes: I love dees peaches!

What are your kids saying these days?! I can’t wait to hear!!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday!! It’s raining and dreary here – maybe these funnies will bring a little sunshine!

EK, telling me a story: …and then in a couple whiles….

D, randomly: I got a mushroom head!

EK, playing a game with the boys: Don’t move, but you can breathe and blink.

J, climbing in my lap: Can I have a snuggle me-luggle?

Me: Are you going to use the potty?
D: Yeah! I’m gonna put my BUTT in there!

J: Did you hear what type of toot that was?!
Me: ….what type?
J: Almost like I spit! *makes that sound with his mouth*

J, playing the piano: You know what I’m saying with my music? That I’m a miracle.
Me: *weeps*

D: I wanna go to da oceans.
Me: Me too, bud. Me too.
D: We gotta get our sandals. Dazzat sound good?

D, after he’d been snuggling me and telling me he loved me: I love you again.

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Last week I was on vacation and allowed myself to NOT EVEN POST ANYTHING. So enjoy a couple of weeks’ worth of Crazy Things My Kids Say.

J: Did you know that sometimes when you potty, you can stand up? And then you face away from the potty and poop out.

J: Home is a better airport.

J, about 20 mins away from home: Did you know we’re so close to DisneyWorld?!

Hubby: We’re only about a 12 hours drive away.
J: I can count to 12!
Hubby: Reeeeeeeal slow.

Seeing the Charlotte skyline…
Me: Do you guys see that big building up ahead?
J: The one that looks like a giant big banana?!

EK: I want to be a baker!
Our friend Marie: Well bakers get up really early, like midnight, and work all the way until morning.
EK: I did not know that so I think I won’t.

EK: Hey! Watch out! I’m going on a big dump!
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Hubby: What?
EK: I’m going on a dump!
(Obvi she means pooping, in case we’ve gotten too G-rated in here)

J: I love you to the moon and back! And all the way around DisneyWorld!!

J, after riding in the car for a few hours: When I try to sit up, my booty hurts.
Me: From sitting on it so long? I’m sorry; we’ll stop soon.
J: I think there’s a swordfish back there, poking it.

Too much Disney movie watching…
Me: You’re trying my patience.
J: Like Mowgli is trying Sher-khan’s patience?

Me: You disobeyed me.
J: Like Simba disobeyed Mufasa?

Well, what are your kids saying these days? Let me hear the sillies!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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HEY! We are leaving for Florida tomorrow for a week, so I can’t promise how good vacation mom is at writing down the funnies… so enjoy these to last you till then! Happy Tuesday!!

Hubby helping EK with a crossword puzzle: What’s the thing that goes on pizza that’s round?
EK: Mozzarella?

Hubby: What do y’all want for lunch?
EK: We haven’t had Mexigan in a while.

J, knowing about science: Baby ducks are not chicks. Baby ducks are baby ducks.

EK on Easter: Does Jesus die every year?
Our friend Drew: Well, it only happened once but we celebrate it every year.
EK: I don’t know if I believe that.

EK to our pastor on Easter: You did a really nice job today.

D, being more like me than ever: *Using his bacon as a spoon in his grits*

J at bedtime: Daddy, your love makes me a happy boy.

EK to me: Phew. I better not get in trouble any more.

What are your kids saying these days?! Inquiring minds want to know!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I know it’s Tuesday evening, but it’s still Tuesday! Here are the funnies our kids have been giggling about this week – leave a comment and let me know what silly stuff your kids say!

J: Did you know I taught myself that bees make honey? I taught myself that!

EK, pretending: Do you want the eggs and steak or pancakes?
Me: Hmm… steak and eggs!
EK: The $1 or $100?
Me: I’ll spring for the $100!
EK: But that’s really expensive!
Me: But we’re pretending, right?

D, when he first woke up: I want to sit wif my blanket and watch Wall•e and Cars and Star Wars!
Me: I’ve taught you the perfect day.

J, carefully bringing me my half-full mug of tea: It’ll be a ‘saster (disaster) if I go fast!

J: When my two birthday comes, can I have the party at a Christmas gelato place?
(His birthday is at the end of December and he will be 5, just fyi.)

Hubby hands a milkshake to J. Wait a beat.
J: Uh, Mister! This milkshake is great!

J, randomly: I feel so ingenious!

D, wandering around the house: Where is J? I lost him!

D, handing me a belt: Hey! You want dis type of thing?

J, stretching his hand up: I’m just reaching for Jesus.

Talking about winking…
J: Did you know that pirates look like they’re w bling forever?! Because of their eye patch?!

Me: That was a big hiccup!
J: That wasn’t a hiccup- it was a burp!
Me: Was it a hiccup and a burp combined?!
J: No, it was a hiccup and a burp all mixed up together!
Me: Oh, okay.

Don’t forget to share what hilarious things your kids say!!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! We’re expecting some snow again tomorrow- can you believe it?! The kids are dying to be outside (like yesterday!) but most days it’s a little too chilly to be out for long. Anyway, here are some of our funnies from the week! Enjoy!

J’s latest way of getting out of wearing a jacket: Well, my skin keeps me warm in the weather.

J: Something’s poking me in this hat!
Me: In the front or back? I’ll fix it.
J: Never mind.
Me: Did you fix it?
J: No, I vanished it.

Necie: I didn’t come up here to hear y’all fight, believe it or not.
D, after a pause: Uh, not!

In the middle of the night…
Me: Good night. Go back to sleep.
D: See you tomorrow!

EK: I love that you always are never scared to try anything! I love that about you!
Me: Well thanks!
EK: You even like to try roller coasters!
Me: That’s true! I love roller coasters!
EK: I would only try one if it didn’t have the curly parts to it.

J: I did NOT dream about something delightful. I dreamed about a SHARP TOOTH!

What have your kids said that makes you laugh?!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! I thought it was spring, and then it snowed yesterday. March in NC, am I right?! Enjoy our funnies, no matter what the weather is!

J: I just fayell (fell)!
Me: I saw! Are you okay?
J: I was looking where I was going and I didn’t do anything I just fayell!
Me: *tries not to laugh as I comfort him*

Proof that D is picking up on his brother’s amazing vocabulary, this happened while I was helping him blow his nose…
D: Ack-chewy, I got more boogers. *blows again*

D: I want moopies!
Me: What?
D, handing me the lid and straw we always use for smoothies: Moopies! Peas? Moopies?

J: Mom! When I sneezed, you didn’t even bless me!

My mother in law let EK sit with her on Sunday at church, and have me this song she wrote during the service. I’m in love.

Hubby was chopping an onion, and D saw it and said: A ordament! (Throwback from Christmas ornaments I suppose.)

D: *falls and cries*
Me: Aww, what happened?!
J: He ran so fast that he fayell.
Hubby: You pushes him down and I saw you do it!
J: Sorryyyyyy!

There you have it – the daily hilarities of my family. What are your kids saying that’s hilarious?!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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It’s Tuesday! You know what that means… more sillies from my kiddos! Enjoy!IMG_0026.JPG

J: …and he was screaming at the top of his head.
EK: It’s lungs.

EK, drinking soup from the bowl: The Chinese way!

J got up several times in one night, and when I asked in the morning why he was up so much he responded: I had some business to do.

It never fails to entertain me when J corrects EK on her pronunciation…
EK, quoting The Jungle Book: Nagheeraaaa!
J: It’s not Nagheera, it’s BAgheera!
(It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!)

One morning…
J and EK, chanting: Bref-tiss! Bref-tiss! Bref-tiss!
Me: First of all, it’s breakfast…

Singing “The Bare Neccessities”…
J: I mean the bare necessities, that’s why a mother’s recipes, I mean the bare necessities of life!
Me: I’m not even going to correct that.

J, trying to overindulge: Mom, all the cupcakes I had was just one.

Me: I don’t know where daddy is.
EK: He’s probably in his storage room according (aka recording) music on his headphones.

J, jumping off a chair: Well, easy as I go!

EK’s favorite game right now is “Would You Rather…?” Here are a few examples:
Would you rather have hair longer than Rapunzel’s or be bald like Gru?
Would you rather have banana ice cream or strawberry chocolate?
Would you rather have French fries or chocolate ice cream?
Would you rather wear stinky socks or clean ones?
Would you rather eat a phone or earrings?
Would you rather eat a shark’s tooth or your hair?
You get the idea. It starts out hilarious and then gets a little tedious.

This happening to D:

IMG_0025.jpegJ was the only one in the room (Hubby was making dinner in the next room) and his story was: He fell on a spatula!

Well, what are your kiddos saying these days? Tell me all the funnies in the comments!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Heyyyyyyy Tuesday! I hope you like Octonauts as much as my kids do! J told me all about a hurricane recently with pretty accurate information. When I asked where he’d learned it, he told me Octonauts. I suppose there are worse shows.

J with a knowledge bomb: Mom, every tree in the world looks like an alien’s hand.

EK: You know where the Olympics are happening?! The other side of the world!
J: You bamember (remember) when we went to the other side of the world, and we saw China, we saw China, we saw China?
EK: That’s not the whole other side of the world. There’s other cities.
(We’ve never been to China, or the other side of the world.)

EK: Spring is the best year of my life!

D had been whining all day…
Me: Are you a big grump today?
D: No… I’m a baby.

EK: I know an old lady who swallowed… a whole train at one time.
Me: Hmm. That’s not how the rhyme goes!
J: Say more of what that lady swallowed!

J: Did you know that every person in the world in Octonauts has seen a sticky lippet?
Me: Um, yeah…
J: And remember Quasi and the mud skippers?!
Me: I don’t watch Octonauts quite as much as you do…

J, to his friend Emma: Did you know there’s a creature that changes shape?! And it’s called… (pause for effect) the blob?!
E: The blob?!?! (Disbelieving face)

D: Can I watch da movies?
Me: Sure! I like movies.
D: I want to watch da Wall-(pause)-E.

EK: Perhaps spring isn’t coming this week.