Tag Archives: humor

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

November 17, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday!

EK, over dinner: When will Necie be here?
Me: At Thanksgiving, in two weeks!
EK: Yay! (Turns to J:) Necie will be here in two weeks!
J: Yay!
EK: Jenn Jenn comes on Tuesday with Necie in four-five-teens. Hey! What’s Annie gonna be for Halloween?
Me: Well, Halloween is already over…
EK clearly confused.

EK, looking at a pot of boiling bolognese: Daddy! Your dinner is blowing bubbles!

EK, talking about our friends…
What she tried to say: They have a doggy named Bella!
What we heard: They have half a donkey named Fella!

Helping EK wash her hands…
Me: Did you get some soap?
EK: Yeah, I got mucher.
Me: ….do you mean a lot?
EK: Yeah, lots…

We have a set of four boats in the tub, yellow, green, blue and pink…
Me, to J: What color is this one?
EK: Yeddow!
Me: I’m asking Joseph! Okay buddy, what color is this one?
J: Green!
Me: What color’s this one?
J: Blee-you! (Because one syllable for “blue” just isn’t enough.)
Me: What color is this one?
J: Ella Kate’s!
Me: Well, I guess she does always get the pink stuff…

EK and I were drawing our family. We got to my mom, and EK says this…
EK: Necie has skinny hair.
Me: We usually say short hair…

EK’s new favorite game is bingo…
EK: Hey friends! It’s bango time!

EK’s new names for Hubby: Father, Poppy, Papa, Pop Pop. I think she thinks he’s a grandfather now.

J: I poopy! I sticky!
Thank goodness I know he means stinky and not sticky.

If you aren’t familiar with Sofia the First, she wears an amulet. We have a Disney junior bingo game that is all pictures, and the amulet is one of the spaces. EK keeps saying “amble-it” and it cracks me up!

What are you kiddos saying? Anything particularly funny this week?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

November 10, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

Happy Tuesday, y’all! Thanks for stopping by every Tuesday for a little bit of humor! Here are the funnies from this week…

EK: There’s grape juice on the table!

(Spoiler: It’s wine.)

J puts raspberries on his index fingers, drums the table, singing…
J: We drum, drum all day! We drum, drum all day!

Me: Have you seen the Bumbo?
Hubby: No
Me: EK, could you help me find the blue chair that D sits in?
EK: Okay! (Runs off… Back a minute later.) I couldn’t find it anywhere!
Me: I’ll help you look!
EK: We can figure it out together!
Adorable.

J calls strawberries “strawbabies” and I will never correct it. It’s too hilarious.

J’s current obsession: trucks. He’s moved on from trains to shouting out that he sees a “truck” any time we see a truck, construction vehicle of any kind (we’re working on that), or tractor (working on that, too).

Halloween evening, hanging out at the firepit at our friends’ house…
J: I got a dick!
Me: What?!
J, holding up a stick: I got a dick!
Cue everyone asking him what he’s holding for the rest of the night.

Thankful Thursday #1:
Me: What are you thankful for? Like, what are you glad you have?
EK: Davis. And Joe Joe, and Mama and Ryan. And Ella Kate!
It’s like she knows me. ❤

When the word of the day is “trust”…
Hubby: Can you put your arms through the straps? (Of the car seat)
EK: No
Hubby: I need to trust that you’ll help me keep you safe.
EK: You trusted Ping, why am I any different?
Me: (dying at the Mulan jokes)

A little later, at naptime…
EK: You only gave me a little bit of milk in there!
Me: Well you haven’t been drinking it, so I didn’t want it to be wasted.
EK: You have to trust me!
Me: I do not think that means what you think it means…

What are your little guys saying?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

November 3, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

Happy Tuesday, folks! Hope y’all had a great Halloween and survived the time change. Without further ado, here are the funnies from my kiddos!

J: I want fish!
(I realize he’s pointing to the goldfish.)
Me: Here, you can take these downstairs with you, I guess.
Hubby picks him up and takes the goldfish.
J: I guess so. Yeah, I guess so, Mommy.
Hubby: He’s learning English!!

In the car, J points out to us all the trucks. All. The. Trucks.
J: I saw da truck! I saw da truck!
(I try to talk about colors, or size, or something, but he’s always moved on to the next truck. This afternoon, EK was helping point them out…)
EK: Joe Joe! There’s a green truck!
His response?
J: I saw da punkin!
(He’d been looking out the other window at pumpkins on porches.)

EK told Annie (grandma) the other day all about how we got D from the “hospillow”. Makes sense, I guess.

On Halloween…
J: I want da candy!
EK: You can have one piece of chocolate and then save the rest for later.
J: *eats broccoli*

EK: My butt hurts.
(This is code for “I have to poop.”)
Me: Okay, let’s go quickly, and find the bathroom. (We were at Target.)
EK: Just in time! (Sits on the potty and immediately poops)
Me: You’re telling me!

EK was carrying around a pillowcase full of clothes and fake food…
Me: Are you running away?
EK: No, I just packed up.
Me: Getting ready for the apocalypse?
EK: No. I just didn’t take a good nap.
(I’m assuming that means she packed up that pillowcase instead of taking the nap.)

EK, drinking a smoothie and shivering…
Me: Do you want to take a break and warm up?
EK: I’m freezing from my smoothie but I WANT IT!

Upon seeing Christmas wreaths at Thruway shopping center…
EK: Mommy, I miss Santa Claus.

EK is into giving J consequences right now. For example, if he throws his lunch in the floor, she might say this:
Stop, or we can’t have any friends over.
Don’t do that, or you’ll go to bed!
If you do that again, you’re going to sit in time out in the hallway.

She also likes to translate or speak for him:
He wants his juice, Mama.
He pooped.
He saw a truck!
He wants to see the train.

He speaks pretty well for himself:
Mama! Where’s cars?
I want more candies now!
I wuff de baby.
Where’s Lala? Where’s Drew?

Well what do your kids say? Do they speak for each other, or tell each other what to do?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

October 27, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Hey y’all! Every Tuesday I think, “I can’t believe it’s here again! Do I have enough material to even do this again?!” And yes. Every Tuesday, yes I do. Here it is, y’all!

J got a new Batman hoodie from his grandmother. He loves it, and I’ve been singing the Batman theme song every time he wears it.
EK: Mom, he looks like fat man!
Me: No, honey. It’s Batman, with a B.
EK: Yeah, fat man!
Me: No, Batman. Ba, ba, ba, Batman.
EK: Yeah! Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble… fat man!

Recently, I must have told EK, “That’s the point.” The reason I know this is because she’s been saying it nonstop. When I tell J to do or not do something, she says, “Yeah, that’s the point!” When I tell her how something works or why we do something a certain way, she chimes in, “Yeah! That’s the point!” It began as cute. It is now VERY ANNOYING. And THAT, my darling daughter, is the POINT.

Getting ready for our road trip to Georgia…
Me: Yeah, you guys should nap in the car! Hopefully anyway.
A few minutes later…
EK to Hubby: Yeah! We gon’ nap in the car hopully!

On the way down to GA, we had made it SO far and the kids were all doing SO well, but there was a minute somewhere near Atlanta that they simultaneously (albeit briefly) lost it. J is squealing at the top of his lungs, I’m driving, and I blindly swiped my hand in J’s direction, knocking him in the leg. This is what I hear:
J: Not nice! NOT! NICE!
Hubby, pretending to be asleep: (giggles)
Touché, kid.

EK comes running from another room and attaches herself to my leg.
Nana: I tried to get her to sit with me, but she just wanted her mama.
EK, finally peeking around my leg: I just shyyyy.

Every time we see/go across train tracks…
EK: Mom! Tracks! The choo choo tracks!
J: Train! I saw da train! (Rarely, if ever, true.)

Heard from the back of the car…
EK: What the heck are you doing?!
I still don’t know who or what.

Also from the back of the car…
EK: Mom! My shirt is too widdle!
Me: Well maybe we can put on a different one later.
EK: I can’t get it!
Me: Stop trying to take it off in the car seat!

Last one from the back of the car…
J: Come on! Come on! COME ON!
Who knows.

Heard from the bathroom…
EK: My pee is green!
(Spoiler: It wasn’t.)

J, pointing at the front door: Necie in George?
Me: Aw. Yes buddy, Necie’s in Georgia.

At the grocery store…
J, pointing at the flowers: El’ Kate! El’ Kate!
Me: Do you want to get some flowers for your sister?
J: Uh-huh!
Me: That’s really sweet of you!
J: I hold?
Me: Yes, you can hold them. (Heart is melting.)

Well, that about sums up our week of giggles! What are those kiddos saying in your world?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

October 20, 2015 Only Hsuman 1 Comment

Hey Tuesday! Hope everyone had a good start to their week yesterday! We celebrated my father in law’s birthday (twice!) so it was a good day for us! Here’s a little bit of what my kids have been saying this week…

EK: What time is it?
Me: 8:55
EK: That’s a really good one.
Later…
EK: What time is it?
Me: 12:14
EK: Aww… I really don’t like that one…

Upon hearing that I was going to my college roomie’s 30th birthday party (at a bar)…
EK: Aww! I want to come!
Me: I’m sorry, babe! I wish I could take you, but I can’t this time.
EK: But I want to have a girls’ night! And Joe wants to have a boys’ night!
Me: (Dying with laughter and texting my friends) We will REALLY soon!

Getting in the car…
EK: Mom, I can’t do it in my skinny pants!

Waking up from a nap…
EK: Are we gonna go to Georgia now?
Hubby: No, we’re going next week.
EK: Yeah, that’s a good idea, Dad!

EK: Can we have a flying car, Mommy?
Me: I wish. There is no such thing, babe.
EK: But Harry Potter’s blue car is a flying car!
Me: Touché. But Harry potter’s car is magic. And it actually belongs to the Weasleys.

Me: Hey babe, J just took a dump. (I know, I should find new parent slang.)
EK: Yeah, he’s a dump truck! Dump truck! Dump truck! Dumpy, dumpy, dump truck! (Obviously in a sing-song voice)

EK at bedtime: Do we have school tomorrow?
Me: Nope!
EK: Do we have church?
Me: Nope!
EK: Just stay at home?
Me: Yep!
EK: Well, can we have special breakfast?
Me: I’m never off the hook.

J: I want truck! (Pointing at a tractor)
Me: That’s a tractor, buddy! And you can go get on it!
J: Yay! Truck! (Squealing with excitement)
Me, after several minutes: Alright, why don’t we go see everyone?
J: NO! I WANT TRUCK!
Me: Okay, we can play another minute or two…
After several more minutes, I’m rescued by my friend Chris, who lets J play on the “truck” for another 10 minutes.

Hubby: It’s Gon Gon’s birthday!
EK: Aww! We gonna sing to him and he gonna smile at us and we gonna be so happy!

Well, that’s it for this week. What have your kids been talking about?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

October 13, 2015 Only Hsuman 5 Comments

Today is Tuesday! And it’s a special Tuesday – my college roomie Anne’s 30th birthday! She always likes these posts, so I’d like to dedicate a little humor to her on her birthday!! So here it is… a little humor! My kiddos are getting more and more talkative (if that’s even possible!) every day, and J is using more actual words these days. I’m still looking for a new name for the series, since EK really isn’t a toddler anymore. Well, here goes!

We’re working on counting to 20 (with both bigs) and EK basically does it, except for “five-teen” but J can only really go to 5, and just says “TWENTY!” really loudly whenever we say 19. I’d say they’ll both have it by kindergarten.

So, I say, “Boom bam!” a lot. Like when I put dinner down in front of the kids, or when I finish whatever EK asks me to build with blocks (think “ta daaaa”). So today, EK was building something, and when she was finished, she said, “Boom bayam!” This followed:
Necie: What?
EK: Boom bam!
Me: She got that from me.
EK: Yeah. I say it. I say it to Joe Joe when he naps. It’s so silly.

EK, building a box: Look! I made a fox!

EK, climbing into a chair, and I hear a bump: Ouch! My panties!

EK and I were painting, and I did this:

EK: Mommy! How did you DO that?!
My self-esteem boosted, I am now applying to get my PhD in art. (Absolutely not.)

Having a discussion about eye color…
EK: Davis’ eyes is blue.
Me: Yes!
EK: Jofess’ eyes is blue.
Me: They are!
EK: Green and blue! Green and blue! The wheels on the bus say “green and blue”, all through the town!
We can now safely say that “The Wheels on the Bus” can be turned into a song about anything.

Sitting on the couch, drinking my coffee…
J: One, two, one, three, GO! (Chucks Lego castle across the room and it hits my foot and explodes.)

EK, unprompted: I love you, fahdder and mudder.
Hubby: We love you, too. What else could you call me?
EK: Ryan!
Hubby: What else?
EK: Ryan Hsu!
Me: …Names like Mommy and Daddy are in the past.

In the bathtub, EK takes the foam number 8 and sticks it up to her eyes. “Mom, look! I wearing gobbles!!”

I can’t make this stuff up, you guys. Not if I tried. What could you never make up that your kids come up with?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

September 29, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

Happy Tuesday, everyone! The weather is cooling off (and raining all the time – yuck) so fall is finally here! I wore my boots for the first time on Sunday, and man it felt good! We are just gearing up to get busy around here, with school in full swing, fall activities everywhere, and the holidays just around the corner – I know, I know… already?! Anyway, here are some fun things I’ve heard this past week. Enjoy!

The Omelette Saga…
Hubby, to me: Would you like an omelette?
Me: That sounds great!
Ek: I wouldn’t like a omeleck, please. (Then repeat that sentence 30 times.)
Hubby: Okay. We get it. No omelette.
(Hubby fixes omelettes; they look amazing. EK starts crying.)
Hubby: What’s wrong?
EK, crying: I waaaant aaaaa ooooomeleeeeeck!
Hubby: Why would you tell me you didn’t want one about 30 times then?!
EK, still crying: Oooooomeleeeeeeck pleeeeeeease!!!!!
(The dearest Hubby in the world then fixes her an omelette. The next 20 minutes are consumed with conversations about the omelette, how it’s made, complete with hand motions, what’s in hers, and the fact that it is indeed omelette and not omeleck.)

On weather…
EK: It’s so windy outside!
Hubby: Isn’t it a beautiful day?
EK: No, it’s a fancy day, silly!

Me: What would you like for lunch?
EK: Chicken nucksecks. (Nuggets, of course.)

J spilled some water on the floor while washing his hands, and pointing to it, said, “Mess! I mess!” He gets it, you guys.

My in-laws recently had to put down their dog, and when EK asked Annie where Molle (the dog) was, Annie said that she is with Jesus now. EK has been repeating an elaborate story about how Molle went to Jesus and asked to go live with him, and Jesus said, “Yes!” and Molle said, “Yippee!” It’s been odd but endearing.

At lunch…
Hubby: J, are you all done or do you want some more?
J: I want some more! (About as articulately as I’ve ever heard him say anything.)
Hubby: Well, you couldn’t have put that any more clearly.

Nicknames…
J, calling up the stairs: Hey, babe! Babe!

As I was putting J to bed the other night, he said this: “Mama? I wan’ El Kate.” It totally melted my heart.

Snuggling on Saturday morning on our bed, with both the big kids…
J, climbing on top of everyone: Yay!
EK: Agh! I can’t make this happen!

Overheard from another room…
EK, doing a puzzle with Annie: I’m not a baby ANY. MORE.

And you might have seen a little bit about this on my Instagram… The highlight of EK’s week was a trip to the mall, because we rode the little train. If you recall her train obsession, you know it was a big moment, so obviously I took a bunch of pictures.

That face makes me want to go to the mall every day!

So what are your kids doing and saying lately? I love hearing what other kids say!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

September 22, 2015 Only Hsuman 3 Comments

Happy Tuesday, y’all! We have a nice, slow week we’re settling into, and I couldn’t be happier. Here are a few funnies from the past week to brighten your Tuesday!

EK, looking at Hubby holding D: Aw! Wook at his small toes! Aw! Wook at that! He’s putting his foot on your weg! AWW! WOOK! He is SO CUTE!

I have several friends that work at the college I went to, one of them being my college roommate Anne, who I sometimes pick up and take to lunch. One day, EK was with me and we drove to campus to see another friend. As we pulled onto campus, she said, “Mom! Is this where Anne lives?!” When I told Anne about it later, she said she certainly was there more than anywhere else!

EK: What time is it?
Hubby: 7:53
EK: Woah! Cool!

Annie: EK, your shoes are on the wrong feet.
EK: It’s okay. It doesn’t manners.

J drops his fork: Uh oh! Fook!
Me: Careful, there…

We have a book called “Build a Burrito” and it’s a counting book in English and Spanish. EK always insists on trying to say the Spanish before I do, and also says “turrito” instead of burrito.

EK, showing her folded slice of pizza to Hubby: Daddy! When you was a little boy you made your pizza a taco like this!

(I’m realizing in this moment that we’re obsessed with tacos.)
EK: I want a soft taco! A soft one!
Lauren: What do you want inside your taco?
EK: M&Ms!
Lauren: Girl after my own heart!

Hubby goes to wake EK up for church, and she pulls the covers over her head.
EK: Dad! Leave me alone!
Hubby: Are you 16?!

Halloween.
EK: Daddy, what are you gonna be for Halloleen?
Hubby: A toothbrush!
EK: No. I’m gonna be Mulan and you be Mushu.
(EK has vacillated on costume ideas from Doc McStuffins to Mulan and back.)

Before EK goes to bed, I ask her what her favorite part of the day was. This week, this was one of her answers: “Wearing a princess dress and dancing with my brother Joe.” Melting a mama’s heart.

Picking up EK from school, with D in the car: Aww! I really missed you, little Davis!

I thought we’d end with a sweet one! How is your week? What are your kids saying?

books, random thoughts

I fell.

September 20, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

The other day, I fell. I fell deep into an internet rabbit hole… of Harry Potter memes. It was so gloriously nerdy and incredibly entertaining that I decided I’d share the nerdgasms with y’all. I’ve scoured the internet and found some of my all-time favorite comical HP memes. Enjoy!

Because Malfoy is actually a scaredy-cat.

(source)

And because no one doesn’t like a moustache joke…

(source)

And for that matter, a ginger joke…

(source)

A classic.

(source)

Remember Antoine?

(source)

Foreshadowing.

(source)

Come on and get his name right…

(source)

Manners.

(source)

And the trusty fav…

(source)

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I did! There will be another Harry Potter post coming this week… I’ve been reliving my childhood!

mommyhood, parenting fails

Parenting Fail #2351

September 16, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

Tonight, we had some friends over for dinner. Hubby had been working on a bolognese all afternoon, and we were all really excited. As usual with tomato-based sauces for dinner, we took the kids clothes off before they got their food. (Anyone else try to save laundry this way?)

When everyone was finishing up, we started taking dishes to the sink, cleaning up a bit, and sipping the last sips of our wine. I look over at J, still in his high chair. His hands are hidden behind him, and he says, “Poop!”

My friend Andrea and I look at each other. Did he just say “poop”? I get up, and realize his hands are behind him, in his diaper. I look at his hands. There’s a questionable substance. In my head, I’m going back and forth: Meat from the sauce? Poop? I can’t tell. Should I smell it? Oh gosh, I don’t want to deal with it if it’s poop. Do I just dump him in the tub? Out loud, I say, “Oh no. Please don’t be poop. Oh God… I think it’s poop! RYAN!”

You guys, praise the Lord for husbands who save the day. Hubby saves mine almost daily, but this takes the cake (at least this week). He scooped J up and took care of the poop problem. What a guy.

Moral of the story: If I hadn’t taken his clothes off, he probably wouldn’t have been able to touch it. Blerg.

Anyone else have a recent poop story to share? I know we all have them sometimes. PLEASE tell me I’m not the only one!

We're Only Hsuman…

Tag Archives: humor

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

I fell.

Parenting Fail #2351

A mother's musings on family, faith, and fun!