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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a windy, strange weather type of day here, so a little humor might make us all feel better! Here is a sampling of what my kids have been saying this week…

EK: I want to be a river for Halloween! (Very serious.)

EK: This tooth is about to come out!
Me: Really? Yep, it’s wiggly!
EK: I think it was that pork belly I was eating for lunch. (We had pork belly tacos.)

EK: What car will I drive when I’m an adult?
Me: I don’t know; we’ll have to see.
EK: Maybe I’ll just ride on the green bus.
(Our city buses here are green.)

Me: Did you miss me while I was gone?
J: Kind of.

Me, leaving for a run: Okay, I’m going now. The quicker I go, the quicker I get back!
J, shouting out the door: The quicker you go, be safe on your run!

Me, taking a sip of my wine: As whites go, this one’s not too bad.
J, taking a sip of his water: This water’s not too cold with the ice.

J: I gotta go to the dentist because my teef hurt.
Me: Let me see, bud.
J: *opens mouth where I can only see the front of his bottom teeth*

EK: Tomorrow is Sunday!
Our friend Samuel: What do you do on Sunday?
EK: Put on a dress! And go potty!
Me: *dying*

Talking about the Curious George Halloween special that the bigs are obsessed with…
J, running around in circles: Oh no! No-Noggin is so scary! I don’t know which way to hide from him!!

Speaking of this, J has become quite the story teller. He weaves tales about tooth fairies (with very little understanding about how that works), keys breaking off in doors, and chocolate-eating.

Me, about a dress-up dress: This dress has been through the wringer.
EK: No, my ring is downstairs.

J, hanging out of his classroom, seeing me walk down the hall to pick him up: Mom! It’s me! Your sweet son!

J: What if it was a dinosaur? Or a dinosaurus?!

EK: Mom, when you went to colletch (not college lol) did you have to get on a plane?
Me: No, I just drove in my car.

EK: Can we get on a plane and go back to DisneyWorld?
Me: We will go back sometime.
J: Yeah, we will just have to drove there.

EK: Next time we play hide and seek, in gonna hide in the fridgelator!

J: We just went over some speed bumps!
EK: Wait! How did you remember those were speed bumps?!

EK: We’re home! I see Daddy’s car and the cannolia tree!
Me: I wish cannolis grew on trees.

Hope you enjoyed our humor for the week! What do your kids say that’s a little off?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! EK and I are in Georgia with my family, but there are still some funnies here! Enjoy your Tuesday!

EK: How did she get you in her belly?
Me: What?
EK: Necie. How did she get you in her belly so you could be born?
Me: *oh no, oh no* Well… she got pregnant.
EK: Pregnant? Well how did you get out? Did they tear her belly and let you out?
Me: Uh, well, she went to the hospital to get me out.
EK: *tries to keep going*
Me: SO WHAT did you learn at school today, sweetie?!

J at bedtime: Will you sing about pineapple tree?
Me: I don’t think I know that one.
J: It goes like this: Pineapple tree, pineapple tree, pineapple tree, tomorroooooow! (In a very melodic voice I might add.) Now you do it!
Me: Well, I think it sounds great when you do it.
J: *repeats song*

EK and J have been making “birthday cakes” out of these manipulatives. EK made one on my bedroom floor, and J came in and saw it…J: Oh, Daddy! What a lovely cake!

J in the car one day, giggling his butt off: The ocean is made out of cookie butts!

Talking about our trip to my parents’ house before we left…
Hubby: What do you want to do there? Want to go shopping?
EK: Yeah! At the food store! In case they don’t have food and need it!

While EK and I were gone, J managed to cut his pinky finger on something. Hubby woke up to him very matter-of-factly telling him that he was bleeding. When I was FaceTiming him later that morning, he described what happened liked this: Well I was in D’s room. And I  smashed it! I smashed my promise finger on the black and grey fing. The rectangle. And then I was bleeding on the floor! And I just smashed my little piggy and I came upstairs. (Yes, “promise finger” and “little piggy” are words used to describe his pinky finger.)

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, all! Besides the adorable yoga photo, there are some other funnies here to brighten your day. Enjoy!


Necie: You have on shoes but no pants?
J: Yeah. Like EK did it. I did what she did.
(She was wearing a dress.)

Me: Are you upset, bud?
J: I’m just mad at everybody.
EK: That means you’re mad at me!
J: Not a funny joke!

EK: I’m not tired!
Necie: Yes you are… I can see it.
EK: I was just frownding.


J: Can you get me more card moneys?


EK is working on her drawing skills.

EK: I want to listen to Moana.
Me: Well, I put on the Disney radio, so whatever comes up is what we’ll hear.
EK, making her justification: It’s cloudy enough. We can listen to Moana.

J finishes his breakfast in record time.
Me: Wow! Would you like some more eggs?
J: Not exactly… (walks away)
Me: Okay, then.

J: Ahhh! He’s gonna stole this from me! (Runs away from D)

J, grunting and trying to pick up D: Here, Mom! Here’s the biggest boy you never haved before!

After putting him down twice and thinking I’ve finally gotten him to stay…
Me: Good night, babe.
J: Good night. I guess I am a liddle sleepy. (Followed by a dramatic but genuine yawn)

D has some new words, too! Here they are: no, bye bye, G-dah (what he’s calling my dad), Neenee (what he calls my mom AND hubby’s mom), night night, water, shoes, pants, nose, go (because he loves going wherever J and EK go), down (doesn’t like the high chair if he’s eaten what he considers to be enough) and yeaahhhh! And did I mention “no”? He says that one most of all.

Who else’s kids love saying no to everything? Will it ever stop?!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, and happy Valentine’s Day! My kids have been obssessed with the topic of Valentines’s Day, despite my efforts to not make a huge deal out of it (since Hubby and I don’t really do much). Either way, there’s always a party at school, so there’s no avoiding it. SO! A little humor for your Valentine’s Day, since who doesn’t love the funnies?!


After D bit J on the arm…
J: He gotted me so well. He was trying to caught me and he caught me! He tried to gobble me up and swallow me down into his froat. But I’m too big for him to swallow.

From EK’s teacher…
EK: My mom told me I couldn’t pee in the sink.
Why yes, yes I did.

J, playing in this picture:J, above: “I’m gonna smash you! I’m gonna smash you so good!” then “No! Please no!”

Talking about dinosaurs…
EK: Well, Jesus is gonna make more of them so we can see them alive.

I hear cheering from the other room..
EK: Yay, D! Wanna do it again?
I come in and see her putting together a puzzle and giving him the credit.

EK: I know what grasshoppers drink. They drink blood. My dad told me.
Me: Do you mean mosquitos?
EK: Oh yeah. I have short term memory loss.

EK: I’m going to be the mom ok? *Crosses her arms and runs off shouting* Oh no, the baby! Oh no, the baby!

What funny things have your kids said recently??

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I’ve got a lot of funnies from EK this week, mostly because J’s vocabulary has (sadly) deteriorated into frustrated grunts and lots of “FINE!” and “OKAY!” Hopefully he’ll be back next week. Enjoy!

After J got in trouble…
EK: J, you know what? Even when you make bad choices, Jesus still loves you.

J: Did you remember that I was locked out on the porch and there was a robot?!
EK: You’ve been saying that for forty-nine years!

EK: These jeans have a hole.
Me: It’s okay, some people love holes in their jeans.
EK: I don’t want to wear them with a hole!
Me: Please. We aren’t going anywhere, just wear them to make it easy on me.
EK: Fine….
Two days later…
Me: *puts holey jeans in the trash*
Ek: Wahhh! I’m really gonna miss those jeeeeeeans!

EK: Look, mom! My booboo is getting better! I’m magical again!

EK: I tried to not dream about Teka, but I dreamed about Teka, that he would get Moana and kill her! Haha!
Me: Umm…

EK: Look, Mom! It’s the one with Darth Vader!
(For those who don’t know, that’s evil Emporer Zurg from Toy Story.)

J’s three major food groups:Broccoli, pickled radishes, and bulldozers.

J: You remember babies don’t do what they’re doing?
Me: Sure, babe.
J: And babies need help burping.
Me: Yes!

Tootsie roll=tweetsie roll (can you tell my kids are obsessed with trains?)

EK, singing: Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please slide down on me! Wait… is it slide or lie?
Me: Shine… It’s shine.

Arguing about how to pronounce “Motonui” (Moana’s island)…
EK: Listen to this! She says Motchnui!
Me: I think it’s Motonui.
EK: She knows how to say her own country’s name!
Me: I know, but I don’t think you’re hearing her correctly.
EK: I’m gonna listen to her again.

 

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I’m glad to bring you a long list of hilarities, courtesy of the children! I literally can’t make this stuff up, y’all. Enjoy!

First time with his legs falling asleep…
J: Help me! My legs aren’t working! They’re not working a lot!

EK to Hubby: Daddy, tonight, can you take me on a special date, just you and me?
Hubby: You know what? Sure. I’ll take you out for dessert.
EK: Can we go have gelato?!
Hubby: Sure!
J, running in from the other room: TONIGHT! Can Mommy take me to have ice cream?! And that big girl (aka adult) who gives us gelato can give it to us?!
Me: *dying*

EK had just been out for ice cream with her daddy.
J: You say, “How was your special date?”
EK: No, you say it to me.
J: Oh. How was your special date?
EK: Great!

How the kids know we aren’t fancy: They ask for a towel instead of a napkin. A paper towel, of course.

Hubby: How was your nap?
EK: I didn’t go to sleep.
Me: Really?
EK: I just read a book.
Me: For three hours? (She can’t really read yet.)
EK: Yeah, I had to stay in my room till nap time was over.
Me: Um…

J, the first thing he said when he woke up: I love you and you’re awesome, EK.

 

EK to our waitress after we’d ordered: And also, excuse me, did you know that I’m the big sister who is four and that’s my brother who is three and my brother who is one and may I have my water in an adult cup?
Waitress: *pause* Since you’re the big sister, you can have water in an adult cup if your parents are okay with it.
EK: Okay. And for the brothers, they need cups with lids.
Me: *dying*

Bedtime stall of the week…
J: Wait! I forgot my nightstand water!

A breakfast song by J: This is the way we eat eat eat, eat eat eat, eat eat eat. This is the way we eat eat eat, before we go to play.

Misnomers of the week:
Stomach=stomachache, i.e.: My stomachache is getting hungry!
Potato=batato, i.e.: the food, Mr. Batato Head, etc.

What are your kiddos talking about this week?

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Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! Hope you’re enjoying 2017 so far! Here are just a few highlights from the past week in the lives (and mispronunciations) of my kiddos… enjoy!

EK, 100x a day: J! You’re unnerrupting!

Going through the line at McDonald’s…
EK and J: Almond Donald’s had a farm! E I E I O! And on that farm he had a poop! E I E I O! With a poop poop here, and a poop poop there! Here a poop, there a poop! Every where where where where where!
Hubby and me: *silently dying of laughter*

Watching The Sound of Music, when Maria is conversing with the Reverend Mother…
J: What’s this part?
EK: Maria’s just talking to her grandma.

EK: Can you plug the tree lights in?
Me: Why don’t you do it?
EK: It’s too hard.
J: I’ll do it!
EK: Well, I got it started for you!

Me: Ahh! He almost spilled my wine!
EK: Well its right there if you need it.

Mid-argument, EK to J: Do you think I do not have eyes?!

J, in a high-pitched voice: May I pwease have a tiny, little bit of candy from my stocking, pwease? (He’s been working on his vocal inflection, specifically when asking a question.)

EK, holding a bouquet of flowers: Daddy, can you water these up?

J: *drops a piece of bread into his soup* Look! It turned into chicken!

At bedtime…
Hubby: All right, good night, J.
J: Daddy, wait!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: Happy new year, Daddy.

Hubby: How’s that bread EK?
EK: Well, I don’t like the taste of it. (Said in a way that implied nothing else was wrong with it.)

At the doctor’s office for a check up, and our doctor was just telling us he was all finished…
J: Doctor? You’re the best doctor.
Doctor: *chokes up a little* You just made my year! How about I give you a few tokens to get a prize? How many do you think you’d like?
J: One. Or two, so I can share with EK.
Me: *dies*

Well, there you have it. Adorable and hilarious children. What have your kids been talking about recently? Any Christmas or New Year’s funnies?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Hey there, and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did – we hosted and had a total of 13 here for about three days, and completed our celebrations with sugary hangovers yesterday. Back to a little more normal today, thankfully. Here are a few of our funnies from the past week. I tried to live in the moment and keep my phone out of my hand as much as possible, but I did write down these for ya! Enjoy!

EK: You should sleep down here! (in her room)
Me: Do you think Daddy would miss me?
EK: No, he’s at a long gig. You can sleep with me because I don’t snore.
Me: *dead*

EK coming out of the bathroom: Mom, we really should clean the toilets.

EK, on our waiter at the Mexican restaurant: He looks like a prince!

Bedtime stalling techniques of the week:
EK: Can you ask Daddy to put a stained glass window in our house?
A few minutes later…
EK: I think Daddy knows how to make windows.

Christmas morning, EK: What is all this stuff?
Me: Santa came!
EK: Oh.
Me: *face palm*about the money I spent*

EK: Look, I made bacon!

J: Can you sing a song about a doggy?
Me, singing: How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the wiggly tail…
J: No, like Charwotte, with the black eyes and the house and the pumpkin patch.
Me: *still clueless*
Me, 20 minutes later: Charlotte’s Web!

J: When I was a baby like D, I broke something very fwagile.
Me: Oh really?
J: Yeah, it was a very adult cup.
Me: Oh wow. Well I’m sure it’s alright now.
J: Yeah, and when I’m an adult, I could drink a lemon.
Me: Okay…

J spent several minutes drawing eyes and “zipping it”, aka sliding the bar across to erase what he’d drawn. He drew D, and EK, and finally settled on “Mike the Monster who has one eye” (from Monsters Inc.). And then he asked me not to “zip it”. 

EK, at the children’s museum: Daddy! I’m gonna go climb the bean stump!
Whole room: *dies laughing*

Well, I hope you enjoyed our funnies! Have a great week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday! These are a few sillies from the time we were together with them this week!

J: I’m hot because of the triangles on my pants. (Points to plaid flannel pajama pants)

J runs up to me and burps.
Me: Ugh.
J: I burped!
Me: Yeah, I smelled it.
J: I burped right in your nose!
EK: I sneezed in Daddy’s ear!
Me: *face palm*

EK: When you were in New York, I miss-ed you guys THIS MUCH! (Reaches her hands “like a tall building”)

EK gets out of bed twice, telling me she has to ask me a question. When I finally get her back in there and hear the question, it’s this: “Why are there stars in the sky?” I’m sorry, I really want to have this conversation but not at bedtime.

Hubby: Did you have fun with your cousins?
EK: I had zero cousins. (Not true.)
J: I had five covens!

J got a monster-looking stuffed animal that his grandmother called a “wild man”. He is now telling everyone that it’s a “wise man”.
He’d make a great Balthazar.

Hubby let me know about this one…
EK: What letter does that start with?
J: D! For dinosaur!
EK: Yeah!
J: And Davis!
EK, quietly: And for Mommy’s word.
J, matching her tone: Yeah: dammit.
Well, at least they’re smart.

EK from the guest room: J! Will you come undo me?
Me: What?
EK: I’m stuck on the bed!
J: Yes! I’ll come get you!
(Apparently this is a game they play that I wasn’t privy to.)

That’s all for this week, since we had three days of being gone. More Christmas funnies next week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Yesterday was my birthday, and so it was full of doing fun things, running around town, and not publishing this post. So sorry it’s late, but here are this week’s funnies!


J’s misnomers:
Guitar pick = corn
Laundry basket=washing bucket

EK: How do you spell candy canes? And cookie! And ginger man bread?

At a restaurant, EK: Mommy, can you sing “Kill the Beast”?
Me: … *look at Hubby*
Hubby: I think she’s talking about him. *points to strapping guy with ponytail*
Ek: He’s REAL! (Gaston, obvi.)

Hubby was still in the bed when J was reaching down in between the bed and the wall. He heard him mumbling about “I’ll get your sister!” and “Almost there! I can almost reach her!” Finally after much struggling, Hubby realized that he had dropped something. He was holding the Christmas dog, but had dropped “his sister” behind the bed and couldn’t get her out. Here are the puppy siblings:

EK, speaking my truth: Jimmy John’s is such a great place. I love it.

EK, pretending to be me: EK! J! D! What’s your name?! (Nailed it.)

J: How do we spell Joseph?
Me: J-o-s-e-p-h.
J: That was really clooooooose!

More Christmas mashups…
Somewhere Over the Reindeer
The Grinch is yucky! A toad! A sock! (Sot, because that word is actually in the song.)