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home, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts

7 Things I Only Get Halfway Through

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! If you haven’t visited the site, the writing is great and the podcasts are not to be missed!


Parents are busy. I’m always splitting my time between things that need to get done, and spending time with my kids. For instance, at church yesterday, I had to be kid-chasing DURING rehearsal for the service. It was a madhouse up in that sanctuary. But it got me thinking: what else do I never have my full attention on? What do I never have the time to finish? I’ve compiled a list of things I never actually complete because I’m a parent…

Meals. I don’t finish mine because I’m frequently giving it to someone else. Unless my lunch is eating their leftovers.

Showers. Sometimes my showers are cut short by interruptions or cries on the monitor. I’m pretty lucky if I rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

Books. I’m in the middle of approximately 17 books at any given moment. The only thing I can read with half my brain engaged is a young adult novel or a board book by Eric Carle.

Movies. Nine times out of ten, I’m asleep halfway through it. Parenting exhaustion is REAL.

Sleeping. Whether it’s sleeping at night or sneaking a nap while my kids do the same, I’m awoken by my kids every time. I haven’t woken up to the sound of an alarm (or, gasp! birds chirping!) in years, except when I’m on vacation.

Exercising. I rarely have time to go to an exercise class (wannabe yogi, here) so I’m typically working out in my living room, or on a run with the stroller. Either way, I can get faked out by a kid just as I’ve broken a sweat. 

Blog posts. Even as I am writing this one, I have been interrupted a total of five times. And this post isn’t that long. Excuse me while I go put my kids to bed. 

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts

Feeling All the Feels 

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus. 

Sometimes I feel like I do everything. I’ve fed them, bathed them, clothed them, entertained them, and put them to bed. I’ve done all the things, and they are not only entirely oblivious to my efforts, but seemingly ungrateful (read: ignoring and/or defying me). My children are my world, and I spend more time with them than anyone else. 

But enough is enough. 

I am allowed to be overwhelmed. To be full. And I don’t mean in the sweet “my heart is full” sort of way. I mean in the “my plate is so full I can’t figure out how to survive” sort of way. Fullness is a blessing, and I do not discount the ease with which we had our children, or the privilege it is to call them my own. But there’s not a mother out there who can tell you that there aren’t moments, days, or even weeks where things are just so full that they’re hard. 

A couple of weeks ago, I happened to be on vacation. I was in another state, literally and figuratively. I was down there in big ol’, wide-open Texas, and all I did was wonder what my kids were doing at the moment. 

The truth is, those kiddos frustrate me. And they thrill me. And they drive me up the wall. And they are the most joyous three people I know. My world revolves around them. I’m constantly learning how to be the best when I’m with them, and when I’m not. It’s a test of balance to see how I can be myself in both situations. If I’m wearing nice clothes, carrying only a small purse, and driving a car with no child seats, I must be missing something… right? Sometimes, I realize what I’m missing is my grumpiness. I’m missing the exhaustion and stress that sometimes follows me when I’m lugging the kids (and their stuff) around. 

But the biggest thing I’ve learned is that grumpy is okay. Exhausted is okay. Angry, even, is okay. Joyous is okay! Delirious is okay! Whatever stage you’re in, moment you’re in, and feelings you’re having- it’s okay! It doesn’t mean those feelings define you, or that you’re stuck in that rut. But you’re allowed to have big feelings just like your little ones are. So embrace them. Use them as an excuse for a break. Use them as a teachable moment. But don’t shun them; let your feelings show, because that’s how you move on to the next moment. 

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Glad to bring back the weekly funnies! This one is long since it’s got a few from the previous week as well… Enjoy!

J, with coins in his hand: I got da monies!

J: Mom! EK’s drawing on she’s leg! (She’s is a substitute for her.)

Sitting at a nice restaurant for lunch…
EK: I want nuggets and fries and a taco for lunch, please.

Out on the porch…
J: I saw an ant, Mom! So I flicked it, right into the garden!
EK: Yeah! I gave my ant a spanking and put it in the crash can!

Leaving preschool…
J: Look, mom! There’s a bird! I wanna give it a kiss.

Hubby takes off J’s shirt, and he points at his tummy…
J: That’s my tummy aches daddy!
Hubby: What?
J: My tummy aches! (He pulls up Hubby’s shirt) Can I see your tummy aches?

J, coming out of his room after nap: Good morning, D! Good morning, EK! I had a nice nap.

EK, complimenting Hubby: You’re like Prince Charlie! (It took us several minutes to realize she meant Prince Charming.)

Hubby: How’s your taco?
J: Yummy! It’s like a chip!

EK had been pestering me to pay attention to her (I was working) and I had been telling her to wait a few minutes for, well, a few minutes. Finally, I said, “Yes?” She responded, “I was just wondering if we could have a tea party one day this week, Thursday or Wednesday maybe? Just whatever day I don’t have church or school. I could look at my calendar and see what’s going on?” And obviously, I responded, “…..Um, yes. I’d like that. Any day you want…”

Every time I change J’s diaper: Can I see da poopy, Mommy?

Snapshots of while we were gone…

Swinging with Uncle Cameron…
J: Push me! (Wait) Stop! (Wait) Okay, push me. Slowly!

EK is screaming at the dinner table…
Cameron: If you’re going to scream, go downstairs. If you want to eat with us, don’t scream.
EK: Necie, Cameron’s being mean to me!

Me: Did you go to school while I was gone?
EK: Yeah. And I stayed for lunch bunch. Necie gave me some money and I gave it to my teacher.

Necie: J just woke up. Do you want to put away the play doh?
EK: No, J loves play doh. I want to share it with him because I love him.

I thought those were all pretty good this week! What are your kids saying? Anyone else’s boy interested in seeing his poop? BLERG.

mommyhood, siblings, travel

DisneyWorld with Toddlers: It Wasn’t So Bad!

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When I announced to my friends that Hubby and I were taking the bigs on a whirlwind trip to Disney, some people thought we were crazy. And maybe we were. We flew early Tuesday morning to Orlando, checked into our hotel, ate a quick and early lunch, and got on the monorail to the Magic Kingdom. We came back a few hours later for naps (and beers for Mommy and Daddy, because we stayed Club Level, which included a happy hour). Then back to the park for dinner and more rides. When they started roping off the street for the nighttime parade and fireworks, we hopped on the monorail to go back to our hotel, clean up, and then catch the fireworks across the water from there – while we had dessert!

That’s me and EK in the back. Check out her face!
The next morning, the kids were up early, so we showered, packed, went to our character breakfast (more on that in a minute) and headed out early. We were in the MK soon after it opened, and we spent the morning having a great time, had some lunch, and the kids passed out in the stroller. So naturally, Hubby and I took turns on Space Mountain, and did some shopping while they slept. When they woke up, it was back to the monorail, visiting two of the other resorts (I mean, we are definitely going back soon and want to make an informed decision on where to stay!) and then our shuttle back to the airport.There were definitely a few things that didn’t go as nicely as we planned, such as the kids not staying/falling back asleep in the car on the way to the airport. We had left the house at 5am, and I had been hoping they’d sleep another hour. The fact that they didn’t caused some turmoil in my poor son’s day. He doesn’t do well on no sleep. But there were also things that were even better than we thought. For instance, we arrived at Main Street USA seconds before a parade began. The kids saw tons of their favorite characters within half an hour of getting inside the park! And it was a really exciting kick off to their trip.
 For J, because he’s a two year old boy, the most exciting things were the trip on the airplane and the monorail to and from the park. He is easily pleased by transportation, so he was a happy boy. Even his disappointment in not being able to run around on the airplane was curbed by juice, cookies, stickers, and, most of all, sitting next to the window.

For EK, she loved riding rides (and being tall enough to do just that) and catching sight of characters, even though we didn’t wait in line to see/hug a single one. This is the only trip that will fly, because they didn’t really know what they were missing. Hubby and I knew we could’ve pushed them a little harder or waited on longer lines to do more/different things, but they were happy sitting in the stroller and watching a lot.

Speaking of the stroller, I am REALLY glad we had it. It was more comfortable than the plastic bucket ones you can rent, and way easier in the heat than carrying or wearing them. They were even able to be in the shade most of the time because our stroller has great sunshades. They also napped well in it the second day, since we had checked out of our hotel that morning. We actually Googled “places to let babies nap in the Magic Kingdom”. The answers were somewhat disappointing. Most of them had since become places that strollers weren’t allowed.
What ended up happening was during our Space Mountain Fast Passes (just after lunch), Hubby and I tagged out to be able to ride it. While he was in line/on the ride, I strolled our kiddos around the back of the building, just being curious, right? I found a small smokers’ area, but just past that was a lovely walkway, next to the speedway, but far enough away that it wasn’t loud. It was a fairly quiet stroll all the way to where the Dumbo ride is located. We just strolled back and forth to wait for Hubby to be finished, but by the time we’d gotten back to where the real noise was, the kids were heavily enough asleep to not care that it was loud.

 We proceeded to shop a little, have a snack, try to get on the ferry (no strollers there, either) and actually decided to leave on the monorail and visit a couple of the other resorts before they actually woke up. It was awesome. And after that, it was just a beer at the hotel waiting on the shuttle to the airport.

Have you taken your small kids to DisneyWorld? What did you think? Any tips for us when we go next time?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, Tuesday! I can’t believe you’ve come back around again. Since you’re here, how about some sillies?

EK speaking to the waitress at the restaurant with Annie: Will you please bring me some ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles?
Girl knows what she wants.

Mothers’ Day shopping with Annie…
EK: You’re a mother! We should get you a present, too!

I wasn’t present for this one:
Hubby: …unless you’d like to take your nap at Annie’s house.
Annie: That’s alright with me.
EK: Well, we’ll have to ask Ryan’s wife first.

Annie: Is Finley your friend?
J: No! He’s my best friend.

Happening in the back seat of the car…
EK: Okay, I say “no” and you say “yeah”… No!
J: Yayeah!

J, when I went to wake him up: Mom! I can’t find my Sully anywhere!

EK: Can I have your avocado?
Jan: Sure!
EK: Wait! Don’t give it to me yet… Can I please have some of your avocado?
How very polite she’s become.

EK: Daddy, you like spicy food.
Hubby: I sure do.
EK: Yeah, but the kiddos don’t.

EK: Mommy, you’re gonna be at Lauren’s work soon. (She’s a PA.)
Me: I don’t really plan on being at Lauren’s work, no.
EK: You will. Bery, bery soon.
How does she know?!

In the corner of the living room, crouching beside the sofa…
J: I hidin’, Mom! I hidin’ right here!

EK had been procrastinating bedtime, using the bathroom, asking for snuggles, etc. My aunt (who was with her) finally laid down with her…
Jan: I’ll snuggle you for two minutes. And then, I have to go. If your mom sees me in here, she’s going to be upset.
EK: Yeah. She may call the police. And the police will come take you away. Go back to your room right now!
Jan: Right now?
EK: Yes! Because the police might come!

Milkshake wisdom:
EK: It’s good to have a blanket when you’re drinking a milkshake on the couch.
Seems legit.

That’s it for the week. There was more, but I just can’t write everything down! It’s too much. You’d be flooded with hilarity, and that’s not good for the rest of your life. Everything else wouldn’t be as funny. Have a good week!

home, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everybody! It’s been warm and lovely here in NC – you know, when it isn’t raining – and we’ve been enjoying outdoor time as much as we can! We’ve had a nice time with family and friends, and we are gearing up for a great last couple of weeks of school. Here are a few funnies from this week!!

So I do this thing when we are all getting ready to leave where I put the kids in the car, crank it up, and then get my last few things together while they’re already tied down. The other morning, this happened:
EK, as in strapping her in: Wait! I forgot my juice!
Me: I’ll get it while I’m inside.
(I go back in the house to grab my stuff, and EK proceeds to scream her head off, yelling “Mommy!” about 20 times at the top of her lungs. When I got back…)
Me: Why in the world were you screaming?!
EK: I forgot my juice!
Me: You already told me, and I told you I’d get it. The neighbors don’t want to hear your screaming about something you already told me.
EK: Sorry I was screaming. Our strawberries would be scared. Our neighbors don’t want to hear that.

Me, creeping up on J: Boo!
J: Mom! Don’t scare me! You’re like a cricket!
Bugs clearly scare him.

Here’s a gem form my friend Ginna…
E: Mom! Shh. Listen!
(Toot.)
G: Did you just toot?
E: Yeah! (Giggle) Wasn’t it beautiful?

Hubby: I love you.
J, huffing and puffing like a teenager: I love YOU. I just TOLD you.

Hubby and I were talking about the location of our modem…
EK: Where’s the motor shelf?

Randomly, EK: I was a blue dog when I was a dog.

EK: What road is this? (Yes, we’re still doing that.)
Me: Archer.
EK: Oh! Like my friend and cousin Archer?

EK: Oh badda. (Instead of “of bother”.) That’s what Winnie the Pooh says when he has a problem!

After Hubby shaved his head…
EK: My daddy’s hair is so little!

I caught this the other night…

He was jabbering away on the “phone” while driving his trike around the basement. You know. Just regular stuff. He also has been using the garlic press as a phone… since that makes sense.

EK got out of bed last night saying she needed pancakes for breakfast. This isn’t unusual, but this time it was specifically asking for Daddy and Mommy to make special banana pancakes. At 9:37pm. IF YOU GET UP AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO PANCAKES. 

Well, that’s it for this week! What are your kiddos talking about?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, random thoughts, women

Freedom from My Mommy Guilt

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus! 

Everyone tells you that the third baby is easy. He will be flexible! He will sleep anywhere! He will be calm! He will go with the flow! With my youngest, that’s often true. The sweet little guy loves his siblings, and he never woke up every two hours like newborns often do. He was an easy delivery, and slept through the raucous noises of two toddler siblings from early on.

He is also a mama’s boy. I don’t mean a “sissy”; that’s not a way we have used or will ever use that term in our house. What I mean is that he prefers me above basically any other human. He needs me every few moments. He is happier when he’s close to me. This could be the result of several things. I wear him a lot, mostly because it’s easier and sometimes necessary for survival. He’s also the only baby that I never “went back to work” after. I started my part time jobs back, of course, but he hasn’t experienced me working away from him full time. I’m home with him usually, and we’ve built our life and schedule around me not being away from him more than a few hours. I’ve taken a weekend away from him, and while he was totally fine, he missed me pretty terribly.

Every time we have a day that I don’t see him much (which with our schedule is about once a week), we are bonkers for a few days. It throws off our entire schedule for way longer than just the day I’m gone. He’s extra clingy, sometimes wakes up in the night (when he’s past that stage) and follows me around the house. It’s cute, of course, until I need to get things done and I can’t put him down. And then the Mommy Guilt sets in.

Maybe I shouldn’t stay away from him that long. I should just not take that job. I shouldn’t go on that trip. What if I’m causing him stress? What if he ends up with scarring from my abandonment?!

Hold it right there. What am I doing?! Im not abandoning him! But that’s where the spiraling mommy guilt just led me to think. I’m just placing undue blame on myself. I’m getting worked up, worrying myself to death, and taking responsibility for things that I can’t control. I do my best, but extenuating circumstances are always a possibility. I can’t help when my big kids will need me more in that moment, or when his nap was too short for me to accomplish everything while he was asleep, or when I’m exhausted or sick or stressed. He knows that I love him. No matter the crazy days or time spent away from him,Che is well taken care of, and I’ve made it abundantly clear to him that he is my baby and I’d do anything for him, just like his brother and sister. 

All you do when you give yourself all that blame is distance yourself from the person you can be, the person you already are. Guilt doesn’t become us; there is no need for it. It wastes time and energy, both of which I could be spending on and with my family. My guilt has been ultimately taken care of, and my debts have been paid- even the ones I have yet to owe. Jesus came to release me from guilt and shame, and free me to be exactly who I’m created to be, no strings attached. It is His sacrifice and love that has allowed me to be a woman, wife, mother, friend and follow Him daily. He continues to free me from sin, and free me from myself when I just can’t get out of my own head.  This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to make mistakes, or feel a little guilty sometimes. But with the strength of my Jesus, His guidance and His love, I can get on past that mommy guilt and move on to being the best mommy I can, no matter the circumstances.

mommyhood, teaching, travel

Currently

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Hey there, and welcome to my weekly Currently post! I link up each week with Becky at Choose Happy. And I’m sure by now you’ve seen my posts, but we have currently been….

Traveling || to DisneyWorld and back! We spent two days in Disney and loved every minute! We flew early Tuesday morning last week, and flew back late Wednesday night. So obviously everyone was exhausted but they loved just being there. It was a first time for J and EK, so they were overwhelmed but excited. My mom was sweet enough to keep D at home so we could have a little less to do 🙂 

I’ll write a more detailed post on the trip soon. AND I’m getting a few of those really lovely pictures their photographers take while you’re there, and I’ll upload those as well – since mine are all blurry!

Teaching || music at my kids’ preschool! It’s just four short classes a week, but it’s been fun to be back in the classroom a little bit. I’m doing toddlers and twos, so it’s pretty much a show, and/or a dance party! I get to teach J’s class, which is fun for me. 

Enjoying || the weather and our garden! We have two more truckloads of dirt to get for the last bed, but we’ve got three full beds and we’ve already been eating our romaine! I’m glad we planted some things early.


Well that’s all for now. What are you up to currently?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! It might be afternoon, but it’s still a good time for a few funnies! Hope you enjoy this week’s Things Toddlers Say! 

 Me: How did you get so smart?
EK: It’s cause I read so many books.
Me: Yes. Yes it is.

EK: If a monster was here, you could call an ambulance. Then they would come and make it go away. (makes the siren noise)
Me: We actually call the police to make scary or bad things go away. An ambulance is for when people are sick and need to go to the hospital.
EK: Oh no! Don’t get sick! I don’t wanna see an ambulance!

EK: I wanna watch menus!
Me, 20 minutes later: Oooooh, minions!

I was hearing J say, “Push me, mom!” from the hallway. When I went out to look, he was patiently waiting in his “boat.”

aka baby bathtub.

EK currently has an obsession with road names. It’s equal parts cute and sort annoying. When we’re in the car, she asks every 20 feet “what road this is”. The other morning, she was waiting for her grandmother to pick her up, peeking out the mail slot and saying, “There are so many cars driving on (our road) but none of them are Annie!”

J, unable to open the microwave: I can’t reach it, mommy!
Me, handing him the warm milk from inside: Here you go, sweetie.
J: Good job, mommy! You’re so big!
Me: Thanks, buddy.

J: Come on, EK! Come with me!
EK: Hang on a second, J. I’m getting all clothesed (pronounced closed) up.
Me: *die laughing*

J: I got enough dinner in the eat!

J, at bedtime, organizing his bed buddies: Frog- ribbit! Dog- woof! Buzz Lightyear- to the rescue!

Ever since Hubby made EK her “birdie nest” to sleep in on the floor at my mom’s house, she’s been obsessed with being a baby bird. She calls me “mama bird” and Hubby “daddy bird”. She tried to call J, “baby bird” and he said, “No! I’m a Joe Joe bird!” They, of course, don’t realize that I thought it was hilarious because it sounded like “do-do bird” when he said it.

We are in the car, and D is crying. J starts singing, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” repeatedly, to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle”.

Having dinner with friends…
EK, pointing at my bourbon and ginger ale: Mom, is that fire water?
Me: What?! Ryan, did you teach her that?!
Hubby: Uh, yeah.
Me: I’m not drinking moonshine!

Well, that’s it for now! Tomorrow is EK’s birthday, so we’ll have a special birthday edition next week!

home, mommyhood, parenting fails

Revoking My Bragging Rights

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Sometimes, it’s good to brag on your kids. There are times that you’ve worked so hard for something, spent time, effort, or money on making something work, and it all finally clicks. But if you’re like me, sometimes you may brag a little early. 

Recently, my youngest has been going through an awful phase (it is just a phase, right?) of sleeping for an unpredictable number of hours at night. I don’t mean, “Oh, it could be 8 or 10 or 12 hours.” It’s more like whether he will sleep through the night, or get up three times. He can sleep 12 hours in a row, several nights in a row. And then one night it’ll all go away. Like magic, he reverts back into a newborn schedule. In my opinion, even though you’re more well-rested, it’s harder to get up in the night after you’ve had that few nights of good sleep.

So now, every time someone asks “How is he sleeping?” I’m unsure how to answer. I don’t want to complain. The bags under my eyes do that all on their own. But I don’t want to jinx myself either, if the night before happened to be a good one. I’ve learned that any time I say out loud that he’s sleeping better, I’ll have the night from hell to pay for it. For instance, we had three good nights in a row, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night of last week. On Sunday night, our small group got together, and because we’d been asking them to pray for good rest in our home, they all asked how he had been doing. “Great!” we replied. “Three wonderful nights in a row of the baby sleeping all night!” Sunday night, you might have predicted, he was up four times, including once where I just fell asleep in the rocker with him on my chest for two hours.

The moral of the story seems to be something along the lines of “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” Not that I’m counting chickens, but I suppose I won’t say he’s sleeping well until he’s in middle school and I’ve got to dump cold water on him to wake him. I guess I won’t be mentioning that our daughter hasn’t worn diapers in a week, and we haven’t had any accidents…